dogcrash truther posted:

hitler: [cracking open a cold one and hitting the post button] *typing* "u should totally murder the jews"
byob: haha
hitler: murder the jews
byob: we're posting a million threads with riffs on the "murder the jews" meme
hitler: kill them. gas them.
byob: gas jews, ban jews lmao
hitler: yes
byob: lol
hitler: kill the jews
byb: heres a photoshop of mew holding a bag of money and it says "kill the mews" lol
hitler: kill the jews. murder the jews.
byob:
hitler: [listeneing to good music] kill the jews
byob: ok. we're totally going to kill the jews (ironically)
hitler: the jews. eliminate them.
byob: ok. we're totally going to kill the jews?
hitler: do it. the jews.
byob: kill the jews
hitler: kill the jews
byob: kill the jews
hitler: yes
byob: ok

Classicist posted:

True and Real posted:

Me: Hey dad, I'm home!
GBS dad: gas
Me: I got an A on my paper today
GBS dad: reported
Me: Okay, I'm just gonna go up to my room then
GBS dad: It's a good thing we have stairs in this house

dogcrash truther posted:

Squirrel007 posted:

Sleepy Owl posted:

me, at a traffic light: your feelings betray you. i can still sense the good in you, the conflict

Funnypost Collabo posted:

triangle appraiser: This is a very advanced Triangle. As you can see, it has four sides.

Bo-Pepper posted:

Interview Notes

Applicant was seen drinking from an unlabeled bottle minutes prior to interview. Considering his near inability to walk or speak intelligibly, this writer must conclude the applicant was intoxicated during the interview. Applicant was literally carried out of the office by a female escort. Applicant will not be considered for the position.

pig slut lisa posted:

dogcrash truther posted:

Funnypost Collabo posted:

I'm glad you liked the triangle post. I thought of it while I was on probation and I thought that you would like it. When I woke up today that post was the very first thing I remembered and I jumped out of bed to post it.

no they will not posted:

Good stuff: NO. Le t me repeat that: N-O. When it comes to good stuff, I'm pretty much a no fly zone! If what you've got is good, guess what - you can keep on walking, compadre! here's what I think about good stuff:
Bad stuff: Hell yes. This is the moneymaker for me. If it's a toss up between bad stuff and good stuff then I'll probably choose the bad stuff 99% of the time. That might seem like a high number - and it is - but that's just how much I love bad stuff. In fact... I think it's better than good stuff!

Security Drone posted:

SHREDDER! I NEED A BODY! MY WEIRD PINK BRAIN SAC FORM IS INSUFFICIENT!

Shredder: Alright Krang, we'll do it. Whatever you need buddy. I'm there for you.

He should be really big! And strong!

Shredder: No problem. We have advanced robotics tech my man. We can make you look like whatever your heart might desire, strong, big, you could have drill arms and poo poo, we could--

HE SHOULD BE REALLY FAT!

Shredder: Uh... okay, why?

REALLY BALD TOO. WEIRD SHAPED HEAD would be PERFECT!

Shredder: ... Alright, we can do that I guess. I'm just...

AND SHREDDER!! HE SHOULD BE NAKED!

Shredder, looking slightly irritated: Uh, I'm not going to make a naked robot for you.

NAKED! A BIG, UGLY, NAKED FAT MAN! THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO TO LOOK LIKE, SHREDDER!! THATS WHAT I NEED TO RESONATE WITH PSYCHOLOGICALLY!

Shredder: ...

LIKE SOME BONDAGE SHOULDERPADS, that would be... GREAT. AND I WANT TO LIVE IN HIS STOMACH. HIS BIG FAT STOMACH

Shredder: Okay, but I'm like, putting some underpants on him at least.

Nooo!!!

Harime Nui posted:

Garbage Person posted:

Stephen King: What if...guns actually did kill people?

Funnypost Collabo posted:

Walkthrough
Chapter I: Genesis

Day 1:
Create Light, you'll be shocked at the combo bonuses you get off of later creations, this is the very first turn and it's the biggest opportunity for a combo generator for several years.

Day 2:
This is when you get to pick the location for your home base. I picked Heaven and this guide will assume that you did, too.

Day 3:
Start by withdrawing the waters, put your resources in to creating Sea and Earth. Your Light from Day 1 will combo off of these immediately and earn you a lot of Creation Points (CP)

Day 4:
Set up your resource production chains. This part depends on the Faith you chose at the start of the game, I'm not writing a guide for it.

Day 5:
Boss fight, just some sea beasts. They're not too bad. Once they're dead you can claim their territory, there's a lot of room for expansion so build some houses to boost pop. growth.

Day 6:
Here's where you get to design your villagers. I just chose Mankind, they're pretty average and easy to play. They mostly take care of themselves but they're locked to a Short game length, perfect for your first play.

Day 7:
Conjure yourself a beer because you can spend this whole day resting.

GEExCEE posted:

baraka obama ]state of the union]: My fellow americans... it has come to my attention that a bunch of fake as s preppies are wearing glasses without prescriptions and super mario world t-shirts... what the gently caress? I wdidn't wait for 12 hours outside gamestop, sometimes in the freezing cold while teh rain flap on my pup tent wouldn't stay shut, to preorder all 3 halos just so these weak rear end candy crushers could come and horn in on my thing now that it's " cool" to be a nerd. who does that. gently caress all a yall. al-Shishani yeah i'm talking to you. you think because you came over to my house in 4th grade and played super smash for half an hour now all of a sudden you're a gamer? I thought you said the n64 for was "Mondo Gay" so why the gently caress now u got a diddy kong sticker on your kalash. eat poo poo posers. because honestly you know what when i'm on a 8-man kill streak and calling in an airstrike on ur dumb rear end, it's going to be obvious who's getting recruited by MLG and who doesnt know the difference between his rear end and the $100 turtle beach xbox one headset his mom got him for ramadan or whatever the gently caress

Bread Set Jettison posted:

"hello my name is hand and Id like to interview for this job"
'Where are you from hand?'
"well, ahem, uhm, I am from your girlfriend and I uh..."
'GET... OUT..."

Funnypost Collabo posted:

Bo-Pepper posted:

Security Drone posted:

wife: "well, good night dpimpjedi. by the way, it was my birthday. you forgot again."

dpimpjedi: *logs into byob* "what is time? an a priori notion, that together with space, allows us to comprehend experience. Just elements of a systemic framework that structures experience. True simultaneity cannot exist, neither physically or epistemologically. one cannot be said to have missed an event in such a structure"

ATCG posted:

wesley snypes posted:

every morning i wake bright and bleary, eyes bloodshot from lack of rest (i lie awake thinking of byob). my desktop computer is off. piece of poo poo. stupid piece of poo poo i said sleep mode not off mode. get so out of sorts i have to smoke a bowl to simmer down & wait for my lovely-rear end computer to turn on. put on some rasta music - getting in the mood now. feeling the feelings - the byob feelings. get some funk in my soul & weed in my bowl aww yes im a depraved internet lunatic look at me go. computers on byob is up and we are reADY TO POST.

CHewbecca: i am also an integral part of this

WD-40 posted:

ron color posted:

"That's quite enough, Mister Dabsnort." She reached out expectantly, "The keys to the childrens' cages, if you please."

eight quidlings posted:

Sleepy Owl posted:

nasa operator: alright the rover has finally landed on mars now go see if theres anything interesting out there

mars rover: the desire for material goods will lead only to ruin

operator: no dammit we're trying to learn about the planet

rover: before knowing others you must first know yourself

operator: ok just shut up and go look for signs of water

rover: man cannot live on water alone but by word of god

operator: dammit

Classicist posted:

then i made this

dogcrash truther posted:

dogcrash truther posted:

dogcrash truther posted:

GEExCEE posted:

nmagness posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxXkhcKZnrk
I really need the job you guys.

Sleepy Owl posted: