Is the self-help actually self-destructive?

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > Is the self-help actually self-destructive?

Kane: Aug 20, 2000; Do you see the problem?

Conscious of pain, you're distracted by pain.
You're fixated on it. Obsessed by one threat, you miss the other.

So much more aware, so much less perceptive. An automaton could do better.

Are you in there?

Are you listening? Can you see?

Exadus posted:

Another problem that I think goes along with this is a belief that is ingrained with this self-help addiction - that there is something inherently wrong with myself and that I can "fix" it. Isn't this just a intellectualization? It just sounds like a lot of the self-help bullshit that you read is trying to solve an emotional problem by some sort of rationalization, which probably leads to emotional disconnection, while at the same time creating a feeling of achievement due to the new realizations that people who use self-help get by reading a new self help book.

This in general is a very harmful belief, as it relies on the misconception around what a "self" is.
By "figuring out" what is wrong with the self, you apply some patch over an existing issue, constantly reassuring yourself that it is now "fixed" until reality bites you in the rear end again. Even if you manage to avoid the problems originating from the actual issue, what you're left with is your consciousness in constant battle between the "issue" and the "fix". Rarely this approach leads to actual, beneficial change in someone.

It's much more effective to identify the behavior you believe is right or appropriate and act on it rather than attempting to "fix" what is "wrong".

# ¿ Aug 25, 2014 01:11

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 16, 2024 14:50

Kane: Aug 20, 2000; Do you see the problem?

Conscious of pain, you're distracted by pain.
You're fixated on it. Obsessed by one threat, you miss the other.

So much more aware, so much less perceptive. An automaton could do better.

Are you in there?

Are you listening? Can you see?

Exadus posted:

Isn't that pretty much CBT? I think you're right on point

A lot of people who get into perpetual self-help probably just need good old fashioned therapy.

More like the standard Buddhist message.

# ¿ Aug 25, 2014 17:31

Kane: Aug 20, 2000; Do you see the problem?

Conscious of pain, you're distracted by pain.
You're fixated on it. Obsessed by one threat, you miss the other.

So much more aware, so much less perceptive. An automaton could do better.

Are you in there?

Are you listening? Can you see?

Exadus posted:

I've never really studied Buddhism, but one thing I've noticed a lot in both reading philosophy and the little psychology that I have is that a lot of the concepts are similar. Plato wrote about how happiness is something that comes from within and not from externals, which coincides with a lot of concepts that we hear with regards to balanced internal and external validation these days, and how they allow you put up healthy boundaries, develop values and take responsibility for your actions.

Is it possible that a lot of the concepts that are being thrown about these days, especially the ones that seem to be true, are simply rehashes of ideas that have floating in the river of human knowledge for some time now.

Buddhism is quite dissimilar to most everything originating in the west throughout history.

http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma4/mpe1-4.html

# ¿ Aug 29, 2014 02:43

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > Is the self-help actually self-destructive?