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The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > Is the self-help actually self-destructive?
 
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Obdicut
May 15, 2012

"What election?"

Phenylketonuric posted:

I dated a girl who became deeply involved with a self-help seminar retreat program. Very secretive, very expensive, and from what I gather they encouraged participants to cut loose friends/lovers/family who refused to embrace concepts or even enroll themselves. While I'm often inclined to view her program as a glorified cult, I do begrudgingly admit that given her sorted childhood and repressed emotional issues, she did need to seek out some kind of therapeutic solution, and for better or worse, this seminar program instilled in her a tremendous sense of well-being and happiness. Apart from the obvious concern over the longevity of this effect (not to mention the long-term financial implications of repeated seminars), my biggest philosophical problem with the whole situation was the program's fixation on happiness as the end goal.

While it's difficult for me to articulate what it might be, I have long felt that there exist things more fulfilling and noble for humans to aspire towards than mere happiness. The self-help industry ferociously pushes the concept of happiness not as a means to some other goal, but as the end goal itself. I suspect that this is a destructive paradigm, because while I believe humans are biologically incapable of truly selfless behavior, to consciously value personal happiness above all else might reduce or eradicate one's capacity to empathize with others and discourage "sharing" their reserves of happiness. To put it another way, ritualistically seeking happiness runs the risk of serving as cynical justification for all sorts of immoral, anti-social, and greedy behavior.

I had a similar experience, but with a friend, not a romantic partner. Another downside of it to me was that she was more and more cut off from her old friends; she talked a lot about her program and kept trying to get us to sign up for it. The thing is, she had a lot of self-destructive behavior that stopped when she started these classes, so I saw it as 'good' in that way, but as time wore on it seemed like it was less a cure and more just a restraint.

I also agree that happiness, while nifty, isn't the only good or worthwhile emotion.

* # ¿ Aug 24, 2014 23:30
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# ¿ May 16, 2024 10:09
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Obdicut
May 15, 2012

"What election?"

Negative Entropy posted:

I think it depends on what we are defining as happiness. Hedonistic happiness most certainly should not be the goal of one's life, but I think many posters here would agree at least in part that eudaimonia (in the Aristotelian sense) is acceptable as a central life goal.

You didn't disagree with me at all; you just said that it's 'acceptable' as a life goal. Sure. I didn't talk about happiness as a life goal, what I said was that happiness isn't the only good or worthwhile emotion.

Eudaimonia is also not an emotion, but a state of being, according to Aristotle.

* # ¿ Aug 26, 2014 14:09
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The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > Is the self-help actually self-destructive?