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The 101st dudes who had previously occupied the FOB I was on in Afghanistan were so high speed that they would only go out with one of the three Thor packs, and would then be surprised when they got blown up... over and over again. They also had sprayed "No Legs Allowed" on the door to their compound, but of course, never conducted any airborne missions, and only infrequently air assaulted. They mostly just stuck to the FOB and occasionally wandered out to get blown up.
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Sep 29, 2014 19:26
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| # ? May 5, 2024 13:22 |
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The only upside I have found at Drum so far is that I'm not in a Cav or airborne unit. It's the little things in life that make it more bearable...
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Sep 29, 2014 19:26
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loving Worst Cav was just that. Those stupid slack jawed horse fellating goddamn poo poo eating morons hosed up everything they touched. They couldn't pass an NBC test if you put their mask on them and gave them CPR. I have NEVER EVER EVER met a bigger bunch of stupider goddamn retards who were probably the afterbirth their mothers were too goddamn stupid to throw away, and I worked with NATO for awhile. I've seen them blow their loving fingers off hammering back together .50 cal linked belts by: 'just use the flat part to hammer it in, dumbass' and rub goddamn real decon kits on their skin and flip goddamn ambulances and make their camp in loving wadi at NTC and get lost in the loving forest because they brought a map of Fort Hood to REFORGER and sleep on their mask so they stabbed a loving injector into their neck or head or put goddamn 5.56 up their nose and get it stuck on and on and on. They're worse than goddamn toddlers. At least a toddler will get tired of smearing poo poo on the walls and take a nap, but not those goddamn Cav retards, they just keep going and going like some kind of loving brain damaged Energizer Bunny, usually while screaming "FIRST CAV LEADS THE WAY!" at the top of their lungs like some kind of goddamn gibbon mating call. The loving officers cruise around Fort Hood in loving staff cars just LOOKING for someone with a dirty uniform, so they can pull off the road, mount the curb with the car, then jump out and scream at some poor private who got his uniform dirty working in the motorpool. The officers are loving terrible suckup incompetent motherfuckers who couldn't make it anywhere but First Cav because other units would require them to do more than have their uniforms ironed by some loving Korean laundry and have their 900 pound dependasaurus spitshine their loving boots with Mop & Glow while they suck up to each other and gently caress up everything in sight. None of them want to leave Cav or have ever been in any loving unit but Cav because they're almost maliciously incompetent at their job and know even a goddamn NG unit in Bumfuck Missouri will throw them out for incompetence. These stupid motherfuckers practically jerk off on the 670-1 and can recite every goddamn bit of the loving Soldier's Creed, Officer's Creed, First Cav Values, and everything loving else, but if you ask them for a goddamn mission plan they panic and look around for an enlisted or an NCO without his head in his rear end (AAHAHAHAHHA! Good luck sir) to do it for him. These assholes get lost doing Land Nav on MAIN POST, accidentally choke on their loving whistles that they carry around because they think it makes them cool, and make Frank Burns from loving M*A*S*H look like a high speed motherfucker. The NCO's are worse, because these dumb motherfuckers ought to know better, but their too busy cruising for 17 year old pussy at the local MI unit and at DAMC instead of doing their loving jobs. And every one of them over E-6 goes to the mall on training days to look for GI's, because, you know, NOBODY TAKES TRAINING OFF IN DA CAV! They hide in their loving offices and send their troops down to do work in 115 degree heat because "The Army pays you to work!" and they think their 60 days in the loving desert hiding in a loving air conditioned hotel room makes them hardasses. Any competent NCO is usually at the Rod & Gun drinking whiskey and crying because the Army sent him to the Special Ed class full of goddamn idiots too loving stupid not to chew on a loving Claymore. No. I'm not kidding. I've seen an E-7 standing there with a vacant expression and start chewing on the side of a Claymore like it's a goddamn sandwich, then suddenly look surprised at the fact it's a goddamn land mine instead of whatever hamburger his fatass wife handed him in whatever loving fantasy he was having. When their re-up comes, they'll loving PDA and homestead because they think that Fort Hood is the end all be all of the Army and that they should never leave the GREATESTEST POST IN THE FWEE WARLD! But the enlisted who have always been Cav. Holy mother of God, the goddamn enlisted. I have NEVER met a bigger pack of mouth breathing brass polishing poo poo eating knuckle dragging goddamn morons in my ENTIRE loving life. The tankers are so goddamn stupid half of them forget where the motorpool is if you ask them to remember their name. The idiots on the flight lines are goddamn brain damaged from breathing all the ballsweat of the loving pilots and ALL of them are always bragging about how they'll make Chief Warrant Officer 'just as soon as their packet is approved!' They loving drive drunk down Turkey Run Road and slam into loving ditches. They steal from the goddamn amnesty box at the ASP and then blow themselves up out at Belton Lake. They loving heat up churchkeys and then brand their goddamn shoulders to show how loving tough they are. Jesus goddamn Christ, I'd rather work with 3 monkeys confined to wheelchairs then EVER work with anyone who thought First Cav was high speed. And then their rep. Holy poo poo, have these guys been riding their rep since Vietnam. So they killed some loving slants from helicopters, big loving deal, it ain't Vietnam and your helicopters are still deathtrap pieces of poo poo that might as well be goddamn magic for all the knowledge you have about using them. Their tankers act like they kill everyone everywhere and forget that during Desert Storm the retards brought over non-functioning tanks and the goddamn ground war had to be pushed back 2 weeks for them to get the right loving cables. The helicopter groups act like they're death from goddamn above when anyone they 'help' should consider themselves lucky they didn't open fire on friendly forces because they are too goddamn stupid to read a map or understand how grid coordinates work and the GPS was probably designed just to keep them from landing their helicopters at an enemy base. And the support units. Holy poo poo, the support units. I wouldn't count on these lazy motherfuckers to carry me a tongue depressor from the goddamn first aid kit. If they aren't losing 20,000 rounds of 5.56mm because they left it all in the back of their 5-tons, they're accidentally leaving goddamn AT-4's in the bushes that they called their ATP and forgot about. Half the medics are medics because their loving GT score was too low to be a goddamn TANKER, and most of them wouldn't know how to put in an IV if you had goddamn instructions and markings on your loving arm. Goddamn, I hate First Cavalry Division, and wish they'd folded that goddamn thing instead of 2nd Armored.
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Sep 29, 2014 19:28
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Aranan posted:The only upside I have found at Drum so far is that I'm not in a Cav or airborne unit. It's the little things in life that make it more bearable... Soon.
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Sep 29, 2014 19:29
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JDAMS CURE PASHTUN posted:"No Legs Allowed" . . . wandered out to get blown up. Mission accomplished.
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Sep 29, 2014 19:32
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psydude posted:Mission accomplished. 
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Sep 29, 2014 19:33
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psydude posted:Mission accomplished. Nice.
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Sep 29, 2014 19:36
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psydude posted:Mission accomplished. drat.
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Sep 29, 2014 19:42
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Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:fat people are the worst and deserve to be discriminated against
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Sep 29, 2014 19:46
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Geirskogul posted:We just got a SPC in our unit (ASMC national guard unit) that once, in the long past, deployed with the 101st, and has the patch. Whenever someone tries to talk down to him or correct him, even if that person is an E6 or something, he turns a bit, puts his left palm against his right arm, and taps the loving deployment patch. And he gets corrected a lot, because this is his first loving drill with us. Also, he has longer hair he gels sideways like brad pitt in inglorious basterds. "Didn't your NCOs in the 101st teach you not to move your arms when responding to a question at the position of parade rest?" I would just keep asking him ignorantly over and over why he was touching his shoulder and if he needed a medic for a nervous twitch. If he didn't get the message after that things would get retarded.
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Sep 29, 2014 21:05
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Speaking of gay cav, our unit picked up a brand new priv. Who went to OSUT like 4 blocks away. Looks like his dicking started even earlier than normal. Poor bastard.
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Sep 29, 2014 21:19
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Is it anansi?
HelpImARock3 fucked around with this message at 22:53 on Sep 29, 2014 |
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Sep 29, 2014 21:28
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Unlike anansi, this guy actually exists. Like anansi, he might be a total dicksack, but I can't confirm that yet.
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Sep 29, 2014 21:45
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anansi, if you're out there, if you can hear me....suck my dick from the back
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Sep 29, 2014 22:25
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Mike-o posted:anansi, if you're out there, if you can hear me....suck my dick from the back
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Sep 29, 2014 22:27
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iceslice posted:"Didn't your NCOs in the 101st teach you not to move your arms when responding to a question at the position of parade rest?" Nobody fucks around when a guy with an arrowhead is talking to them, at least that's how it was on Campbell.
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Sep 29, 2014 23:25
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It's the stupid, smug "look here, soldier" look he gives you when he turns to tap his patch. Like, "Who the gently caress do you think you are? I deployed to the same fob as these guys. I'm hot poo poo." God, even thinking about it now makes me furious.
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Sep 30, 2014 00:18
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how the gently caress has nobody chewed his rear end the gently caress out and put him in his place, like look here specialist fucknuts, shut the gently caress up or i'll shove that chokin chicken up your loving rear end in a top hat
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Sep 30, 2014 00:25
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seriously, he's an e-4 call him a human being, drop his rear end in front of everyone, tell him that if he taps his patch once more you're going to murder an eagle in front of him and never give a gently caress Justin Tyme posted:remind him the 101st isn't airborne anymore and they should take away the tab of the patch just tell him that the tab was removed by a commander memo and rip it off his shoulder he won't be able to look it up anyways
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Sep 30, 2014 00:34
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Oh, I'm just another E-4. But I've observed this poo poo, and he's done it to me. gently caress you hot poo poo, I do medical poo poo in the real world. Nobody cares if you have a FAST1 (which the army doesn't even loving use anymore gently caress get with the program).
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Sep 30, 2014 00:39
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Geirskogul posted:Oh, I'm just another E-4. But I've observed this poo poo, and he's done it to me. gently caress you hot poo poo, I do medical poo poo in the real world. Nobody cares if you have a FAST1 (which the army doesn't even loving use anymore gently caress get with the program). have a dick measuring contest about tig
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Sep 30, 2014 00:44
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Geirskogul posted:Oh, I'm just another E-4. But I've observed this poo poo, and he's done it to me. gently caress you hot poo poo, I do medical poo poo in the real world. Nobody cares if you have a FAST1 (which the army doesn't even loving use anymore gently caress get with the program). what does he like carry a fast one on him because yeah theres a good chance its expired, especially if its from the army
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Sep 30, 2014 00:45
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Just ball his rear end up. Solves 98% of all Army problems.
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Sep 30, 2014 01:13
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Geirskogul posted:God, even thinking about it now makes me furious. congrats 101st guy on making this queer mad about army poo poo on his off time
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Sep 30, 2014 02:43
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Mike-o posted:cav is gay, airborne is gay, army is gay.
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Sep 30, 2014 12:55
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Jesus Christ, Lord, please have mercy on me that I may not be assigned to the flight lines of the 101st or 1CAV if everyone in those divisions is as described or I might die of alcohol poisoning before the end of my first year.
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Oct 1, 2014 00:26
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ArbitraryTA posted:Jesus Christ, Lord, please have mercy on me that I may not be assigned to the flight lines of the 101st or 1CAV if everyone in those divisions is as described or I might die of alcohol poisoning before the end of my first year. Remind me, what were you doing before you joined?
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Oct 1, 2014 00:38
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EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:Remind me, what were you doing before you joined? ArtbitraryTA, just say sucking dick for rent money. We'll have more respect for you.
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Oct 1, 2014 00:48
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pkells posted:ArtbitraryTA, just say sucking dick for rent money. We'll have more respect for you. May as well have been, so we'll go with that.
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Oct 1, 2014 00:55
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Were you a car mechanic by any chance?
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Oct 1, 2014 01:00
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EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:Were you a car mechanic by any chance? Nope.
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Oct 1, 2014 01:06
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Oh hey the 1 year mark of my enlistment. Thanks for paying my 7k student loan army 
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Oct 1, 2014 02:40
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Now go fail a PT test and get to pay it back
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Oct 1, 2014 02:42
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101st had a lot of hot female pilot and logistics officers in Afghanistan. That's like the only good thing I have to say about them.
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Oct 1, 2014 03:19
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loving army thread
Victor Vermis fucked around with this message at 04:14 on Oct 1, 2014 |
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Oct 1, 2014 04:11
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carry on marine, smeper fi oohrah
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Oct 1, 2014 04:18
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Victor Vermis posted:loving army thread wrong barracks rah
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Oct 1, 2014 04:19
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101st took over for 42nd inf when i was deployed they were the first ones wearing ACUs while we all still rocked our DCUs. they were jealous as gently caress
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Oct 1, 2014 04:20
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In boot camp, platoons would "cross decks" from one squad bay to another in order to exit from the other side of the building. Both platoons would conveniently be lined up and in each others' way somehow every time this happened so there would be all kinds of punching and kicking as our nubile young formations slithered over and through each other. Did u guys have that?
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Oct 1, 2014 04:21
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| # ? May 5, 2024 13:22 |
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Victor Vermis posted:In boot camp, platoons would "cross decks" from one squad bay to another in order to exit from the other side of the building. no i went to flw and it was a mixed barracks, so every time we'd have to change uniforms we'd have to go to our lockers, grab our poo poo, run to to the changing room, change with 100 other dudes in a 10x10 room and then run back to our locker to stow our gear this made stealing poo poo incredibly easy
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Oct 1, 2014 04:24
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