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Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound
Welcome earthlings to the Awful Book of the Month!
In this thread, we choose one work of literature absolute crap and read/discuss it over a month. If you have any suggestions of books, choose something that will be appreciated by many people, and has many avenues of discussion. We'd also appreciate if it were a work of literature complete drivel that is easily located from a local library or book shop, as opposed to ordering something second hand off the internet and missing out on a week's worth of reading. Better yet, books available on e-readers.

Resources:

Project Gutenberg - http://www.gutenberg.org

- A database of over 17000 books available online. If you can suggest books from here, that'd be the best.

SparkNotes - http://www.sparknotes.com/

- A very helpful Cliffnotes-esque site, but much better, in my opinion. If you happen to come in late and need to catch-up, you can get great character/chapter/plot summaries here.

:siren: For recommendations on future material, suggestions on how to improve the club, or just a general rant, feel free to PM me. :siren:

Past Books of the Month
2011:
January: John Keats, Endymion
Febuary/March: Miguel Cervantes, Don Quixote
April: Laurell K. Hamilton, Obsidian Butterfly
May: Richard A. Knaak - Diablo #1: Legacy of Blood
June: Pamela Britton - On The Move
July: Raymond Chandler - The Big Sleep
August: Louis L'Amour - Bendigo Shafter
September: Ian Fleming - Moonraker
October: Ray Bradbury - Something Wicked This Way Comes
November: John Ringo - Ghost
December: James Branch Cabell - Jurgen


2012:
January: G.K. Chesterton - The Man Who Was Thursday
Febuary: M. Somerset Maugham - Of Human Bondage
March: Joseph Heller - Catch-22
April: Zack Parsons - Liminal States
May: Haruki Murakami - Norwegian Wood
June: James Joyce - Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
July: William S. Burroughs - Naked Lunch
August: William Faulkner - The Sound & The Fury
September/October: Leo Tolstoy - War & Peace
November: David Mitchell - Cloud Atlas
December: Kurt Vonnegut - Mother Night

2013
January: Walter M. Miller - A Canticle for Liebowitz
Febuary: Alfred Bester - The Stars My Destination
March: Kazuo Ishiguro - Remains Of The Day
April: Don Delillo - White Noise
May: Anton LeVey - The Satanic Bible
June/July: Susanna Clarke - Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell
August: Michael Swanwick - Stations of the Tide
September: John Wyndham - Day of the Triffids
October: Shirley Jackson - The Haunting of Hill House
November: Iain Banks - The Wasp Factory
December: Roderick Thorp - Nothing Lasts Forever

2014:
January: Ursula K. LeGuin - The Left Hand of Darkness
February: Mikhail Bulgalov - Master & Margarita
March: Richard P. Feynman -- Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman!
April: James Joyce -- Dubliners
May: Gabriel Garcia Marquez -- 100 Years of Solitude
June: Howard Zinn -- A People's History of the United States
July: Mary Renault -- The Last of the Wine
August:
Barbara Tuchtman -- The Guns of August


Current:


Jane Austen: Pride and Prejudice

The one, the only. This might be the most challenging book we've tackled for the Book of the Month, but we can handle it!

A lot of people have a big problem reading Austen. She seems boring, etc. Thing is, she was probably the greatest prose stylist before the 20th century and her stuff is brilliant. But there's a huge but to her work: she was writing exclusively for 18th & 19th-century upper class British aristocrats and spends absolutely zero time explaining setting or context. As a result, if you don't have a detailed knowledge of everything an 18th century British aristocrat would know, if you don't have (for example) a detailed knowledge of exactly what the differences are between a gig, a phaeton, a curricle, a barouche, and a landau, you'll miss three-quarters of her jokes.

Think of it like reading Tolkien if Tolkien never explained what an elf or an orc or a wizard or a hobbit was because all his readers already knew -- you'd have to go read some horrible nerd website to figure all that stuff out before you could enjoy the story. You gotta do the research to get the context of what's going on.If you put in the work, though, she really does reward you; her prose is sharper and more layered with more separate blades than Gillette's most modern razor, and her plots and characters have become the framework for whole genres.

So what we're gonna do this month is put in that work.

Free online annotated edition here.

Kindle edition download here: http://www.amazon.com/Pride-Prejudice-Jane-Austen-ebook/dp/B008476HBM


About the Author

quote:

Jane Austen (/ˈdʒeɪn ˈɔːstən/; 16 December 1775 – 18 July 1817) was an English novelist whose works of romantic fiction, set among the landed gentry, earned her a place as one of the most widely read writers in English literature. Her realism, biting irony and social commentary have gained her historical importance among scholars and critics.[1]

Austen lived her entire life as part of a close-knit family located on the lower fringes of the English landed gentry.[2] She was educated primarily by her father and older brothers as well as through her own reading. The steadfast support of her family was critical to her development as a professional writer.[3] From her teenage years into her thirties she experimented with various literary forms, including an epistolary novel which she then abandoned, wrote and extensively revised three major novels and began a fourth. From 1811 until 1816, with the release of Sense and Sensibility (1811), Pride and Prejudice (1813), Mansfield Park (1814) and Emma (1815), she achieved success as a published writer. She wrote two additional novels, Northanger Abbey and Persuasion, both published posthumously in 1818, and began a third, which was eventually titled Sanditon, but died before completing it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jane_Austen


Discussion, Questions & Themes:


W.H. Auden, from Letters to Lord Byron:

quote:


There is one other author in my pack:
For some time I debated which to write to.
Which would be least likely to send my letter back?
But I decided I'd give a fright to
Jane Austen if I wrote when I had no right to,
and share in her contempt the dreadful fates
Of Crawford, Musgrave, and Mr. Yates.

You could not shock her more than she shocks me;
Besides her Joyce seems innocent as grass.
It makes me uncomfortable to see
An English spinster of the middle class
Describe the amorous effects of `brass',
Reveal so frankly and with such sobriety
The economic basis of society.

G. K. Chesterton:

quote:

It is certain that [ Jane Austen] by her own artistic talent made interesting what thousands of superficially similar people would have made dull.”


A few relevant quotes excerpted from Nabokov's lecture on Mansfield Park:

quote:

At first Jane Austen’s manner and matter may seem to be old-fashioned, stilted, unreal. But this is a delusion to which the bad reader succumbs. The good reader is aware that the quest for real life, real people, and so forth is a meaningless process when speaking of books. In a book, the reality of a person, or object, or a circumstance depends exclusively on the world of that particular book. An original author always invents an original world, then we experience the pleasurable shock of artistic truth, no matter how unlikely the person or thing may seem if transferred into what book reviewers, poor hacks, call “real life”.

. . .

quote:

"In my academic days I endeavored to provide students of literature with exact information about details, about such combinations of details as yeild the sensual psakr without which a book is dead. In that respect, general ideas are of no importance. Any rear end can assimilate the main points of Tolstoy's attiude toward adultery, but in order to enjoy Tolstoy's art the good reader must wish to visualize, for instance, the arrangement of a railway carriage on the Moscow-Petersburg night train as it was a hundred years ago. Here diagrams are most helpful. Instead of prepetuating the petentious nonsense of Homeric, chromatic, and visceral chapter headings, instructors should prepare maps of Dublin... without a visual perception of the larch labyrinth in Mansfield Park that novel loses some of its stereographic charm..."


Further Resources:

1) Even though it's more about Mansfield Park, Nabokov's essay on Jane Austen quoted above is very much worth reading, and I recommend it to everyone -- unfortunately there's no copy available for free online.

2) The hardest part of Austen is getting your head into her world. To that end, I'm going to suggest that we all cheat a bit and watch this six part BBC miniseries in parallel while we read the book. This miniseries does a really good job of conjuring the setting and atmosphere and period and all the thousand details you might not get if you didn't live in that time period. This isn't like required for participation or anything, but just a suggestion if you're having a hard time getting into it, and something we can compare & contrast for discussion's sake.

3) Another useful book to refer to might be What Jane Austen Ate and Charles Dickens Knew, a great little background encyclopedia on many details of 19th century british life. I've got a copy of this and I'll toss in notes from it where I remember to and it seems relevant.

Pacing

As an experiment, I'm going to ask that we all tackle this as a Let's Read & Watch.

The book has sixty chapters, and the BBC version has six parts, and the month has 30 days. So:

September 1-5th: Chapters 1-10, BBC Part 1
September 5-10: Chapters 11-20, BBC Part 2
September 11-15 Chapters 21-30, BBC Par 3
September 16-20, Chapters 31-40, BBC Part 4
September 21-25, Chapters 41-50, BBC Part 5
September 26-30, Chapters 51-61, BBC Part 6

Let's try to keep pace together. If you fall behind that's ok, you can comment on any section we've already read; if you get ahead, try to keep your comments focused on what we're watching & reading at the time. I'm not going to enforce a no-spoilers policy or anything though.

Final Note:

If you have any suggestions to change, improve or assess the book club generally, please PM or email me -- i.e., keep it out of this thread -- at least until into the last five days of the month, just so we don't derail discussion of the current book with meta-discussion. I do want to hear new ideas though, seriously, so please do actually PM or email me or whatever, or if you can't do either of those things, just hold that thought till the last five days of the month before posting it in this thread. Thanks, and I hope everyone enjoys the book!

Hieronymous Alloy fucked around with this message at 20:29 on Sep 1, 2014

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Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound
Let's just start by looking at that first line:

quote:

IT is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.

That first line does so much lifting. What sort of story is this going to be? It's going to be a story about rich people getting married. More subtly, though, what "universe" are we talking about? The universe of upper class British women. Clearly the men, especially the single men, have not been consulted. It also packs a hell of an ironic wallop: the narrator here clearly knows exactly how isolated a viewpoint that "universe" has, and is clearly mocking the hell out of it.

That's the sort of layered writing I think we want to be on the lookout for. Austen's sentences will sometimes pack as many as three or four or even arguably five different levels of irony (character speaking, character hearing, narrator, author, reader). This is sharp, layered writing.

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound
Well, Amazon's taken its own sweet time delivering the annotated edition I ordered, so I'm a little behind schedule if we're going to be moving at the rate we need to -- around two chapters a day -- but they're short chapters so it shouldn't take us long to catch up once things are moving.



Chapter One opens in the Bennet parent's home, with a conversation between the Parents Bennett.

quote:

``My dear Mr. Bennet,'' said his lady to him one day, ``have you heard that Netherfield Park is let at last?''

Mr. Bennet replied that he had not.

``But it is,'' returned she; ``for Mrs. Long has just been here, and she told me all about it.''

Mr. Bennet made no answer.

``Do not you want to know who has taken it?'' cried his wife impatiently.

``You want to tell me, and I have no objection to hearing it.''

This was invitation enough.

``Why, my dear, you must know, Mrs. Long says that Netherfield is taken by a young man of large fortune from the north of England; that he came down on Monday in a chaise and four to see the place, and was so much delighted with it that he agreed with Mr. Morris immediately; that he is to take possession before Michaelmas, and some of his servants are to be in the house by the end of next week.''

``What is his name?''

``Bingley.''

``Is he married or single?''

``Oh! single, my dear, to be sure! A single man of large fortune; four or five thousand a year. What a fine thing for our girls!''

``How so? how can it affect them?''

``My dear Mr. Bennet,'' replied his wife, ``how can you be so tiresome! You must know that I am thinking of his marrying one of them.''

``Is that his design in settling here?''

``Design! nonsense, how can you talk so! But it is very likely that he may fall in love with one of them, and therefore you must visit him as soon as he comes.''


This is lightly funny passage and the easy, surface reading is that it's the calm, sedate Father Bennet teasing his wife for being a silly gossip. I have to wonder if there isn't another side to it though.

Think about the society this novel is taking place in. P&P was published in 1813. Under the laws of the time, married women did not legally even exist; unmarried women had almost no opportunity to meet single men, and it would have been scandalous even for a married matron to introduce herself to a single man. When Mr. Bennett suggests his wife go introduce herself to Mr. Bingely, he's not being just practical; he's actually making a somewhat racy joke -- think of it as if he'd just calmly suggested to his wife that she and her daughters send the new arrival nude selfies by way of introduction (obviously an exaggeration, but you get the idea).

Also note that "four thousand pounds" of yearly income for Mr. Bingley. I'll talk more about that later (I want to bring in some data from Capital in the TWenty First Century which I think goes over income figures in Austen's England). For now, just keep in mind that a farm laborer might be making a grand total yearly salary of around twenty five pounds. So you wont' be too far off if you multiply all the pound figures you see in the novel by around 400 -- making a laborer's salary of 25 pounds a year roughly $10,000 modern dollars, and four thousand a year roughly, say, a million six hundred thousand dollars. In yearly income.

Also keep in mind that there aren't any social safety nets of any significance, no social security, no dole; there are almost no employment opportunities for women (apart from very limited opportunities as a governess, or the path of desperation and eventual prostitution we see Fontine take half a century later in Les Miserables); women can't be farm laborers, they can't hold skilled jobs because they can't learn skilled trades, they can't own property in their own names. The industrial revolution won't start for another decade or two, so factory work isn't an option either.

If you want to stay alive, if you want to eat, if you want any comfort or happiness in life at all -- and you also happen to be female -- you have to marry well. And that marriage will be horribly dangerous and risky; you are fairly likely to die in childbirth; if your husband beats you or sleeps around you have essentially no legal recourse. Basically, if you're an upper-class female in Austen's era, your entire life is going to be staked on a single high-stakes gamble, your marriage. It's hugely important.

And that's what Mrs. Bennett is desperately trying to get through her husband's thick skull in this passage! And he's just not getting it! Perhaps deliberately, just to tease her!

I think that's the second layer to this passage. Austen's female contemporaries would have had a reflexive sympathy for Mrs. Bennett here, because she was worrying about something they had all themselves deeply worried about. To a modern reader it all sounds somewhat silly, and therefore so does Ms. Bennett -- especially since she is, in fact, drawn by Austen in a somewhat silly way, and Mr. Bennett definitely sees her as somewhat silly. But under the silliness is a serious issue.

This isn't just a romance story; it's an economic one. The prospect of marriage for the Bennett daughters is the college application, the job interview, and marriage, all rolled up into a single ball.

Hieronymous Alloy fucked around with this message at 20:35 on Sep 3, 2014

Walh Hara
May 11, 2012
Great read so far, I enjoy your commentary as I wasn't aware of how bad it used to be for women. I'll try to read along as well.

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound
Ok, a couple more chapters while I have some free time.

Chapter Two. This is mostly more teasing among the Bennetts. The first important passage is this one:

quote:

MR. Bennet was among the earliest of those who waited on Mr. Bingley. He had always intended to visit him, though to the last always assuring his wife that he should not go; and till the evening after the visit was paid, she had no knowledge of it.

So Mr. Bennett likes to prank his wife but ultimately he does actually care about his daughter's futures. He's also not nearly as oblivious as he was pretending to be last chapter. Note also that unlike all the women, Mr. Bennett can just introduce himself, at least to a new arrival in the area.

But the women don't know he's gone and introduced himself yet, so they're trying to figure out how to meet him without looking like tramps.

quote:


``But you forget, mama,'' said Elizabeth, ``that we shall meet him at the assemblies, and that Mrs. Long has promised to introduce him.''

``I do not believe Mrs. Long will do any such thing. She has two nieces of her own. She is a selfish, hypocritical woman, and I have no opinion of her.''

``No more have I,'' said Mr. Bennet; ``and I am glad to find that you do not depend on her serving you.''

Mrs. Bennet deigned not to make any reply; but unable to contain herself, began scolding one of her daughters.

``Don't keep coughing so, Kitty, for heaven's sake! Have a little compassion on my nerves. You tear them to pieces.''

``Kitty has no discretion in her coughs,'' said her father; ``she times them ill.''

``I do not cough for my own amusement,'' replied Kitty fretfully.

``When is your next ball to be, Lizzy?''

``To-morrow fortnight.''

``Aye, so it is,'' cried her mother, ``and Mrs. Long does not come back till the day before; so it will be impossible for her to introduce him, for she will not know him herself.''


What on earth are "The Assemblies" ? You can find a really interesting summary, or set of summaries, here here, but basically, they were large public parties for everyone who was anyone who lived in a given area. They were a big deal. Remember that -- especially in the countryside, where we see the Bennetts -- this is an isolated, distributed society, without quick travel via automobiles, without telephones, without radio, without television. If you want to talk to someone else, you have to physically travel to them, and that's probably going to take a few hours there and back even if they live comparatively close by. If you want to meet new people, you don't get many chances -- you can't just go to a bar or something, that's not an option.

SO parties aren't something that happens often and when they do they're a big deal -- think Bilbo's Birthday Party in the opening section of Lord of the Rings. We'll talk more about these later. For now, just know that the Assemblies are basically big public parties, probably the only big public parties in the area; you have to be someone of social note to be admitted. They're also one of the very, very few opportunities you would ever get to meet new people.

The end of the chapter comes when the family realizes that Mr. Bennett has gone to visit the new arrival, so the new arrival will probably be coming to visit them in return.

Again, this is a big deal! New people! You've been shut up in the house with nobody to talk to except your own family and the servants for years! Finally someone else to talk to!

Hieronymous Alloy fucked around with this message at 21:09 on Sep 3, 2014

Kelfeftaf
Sep 9, 2011

Hieronymous Alloy posted:

The one, the only. This might be the most challenging book we've tackled for the Book of the Month, but we can handle it!

A lot of people have a big problem reading Austen. She seems boring, etc. Thing is, she was probably the greatest prose stylist before the 20th century and her stuff is brilliant. But there's a huge but to her work: she was writing exclusively for 18th & 19th-century upper class British aristocrats and spends absolutely zero time explaining setting or context. As a result, if you don't have a detailed knowledge of everything an 18th century British aristocrat would know, if you don't have (for example) a detailed knowledge of exactly what the differences are between a gig, a phaeton, a curricle, a barouche, and a landau, you'll miss three-quarters of her jokes.

Wow, goons are terrible. You should assign "Pamela" next to punish them for finding Jane Austen hard to read.

Kelfeftaf
Sep 9, 2011

Hieronymous Alloy posted:



If you want to stay alive, if you want to eat, if you want any comfort or happiness in life at all -- and you also happen to be female -- you have to marry well. And that marriage will be horribly dangerous and risky; you are fairly likely to die in childbirth; if your husband beats you or sleeps around you have essentially no legal recourse. Basically, if you're an upper-class female in Austen's era, your entire life is going to be staked on a single high-stakes gamble, your marriage. It's hugely important.

If you were a woman in a wealthy household, you wouldn't go hungry if you didn't marry. I think Mr. Bennett would be a lot less dismissive of his wife if this were the case.

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound

Kelfeftaf posted:

If you were a woman in a wealthy household, you wouldn't go hungry if you didn't marry. I think Mr. Bennett would be a lot less dismissive of his wife if this were the case.

Well, yeah, I'm exaggerating a bit so as to drive the point home. But there is a real danger here if your luck runs sour and you aren't part of a wealthy household any more (such as, for example, all the money goes somewhere else because it's entailed, etc., which we'll get into later!) The only effective social safety net in this society is the family.

The main point for now is just that upper-class women don't have many options or alternatives; you can marry, you can governess (maybe), or you can be dependent on relatives. For a modern reader, that's the first mental hurdle to get past -- you have to realize why marriage is so important or the whole novel loses a lot of its resonance..

Hieronymous Alloy fucked around with this message at 23:04 on Sep 3, 2014

Kelfeftaf
Sep 9, 2011
I'm re-reading this for the first time in years, so any future disasters that might befall the family I'm ignorant of.

So far:

- Mr. Bennett hates his wife.

- I vaguely remember all the sisters except Lizzie being tired caricatures, especially the bookish one. I hope I don't find this the case this time around.

- I like how every man's income is publicly known. Were people just really open about how much they made during this time period?

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound
More on the Economics.

In this post I'm going to go into a little more detail on the economic and social background of Austen's world. If you don't care about that and just want BookTalk, you can skip this, but some more detail might help get a picture of the world we're dealing with.

Economist Thomas Piketty wrote a book recently titled Capital in the Twenty First Century. You may have heard of it because it gave everyone on Fox News a heart attack, basically a modern economist building seriously on the work of Marx; his central thesis is that for most of history the average rate of return on capital has been 5% or so, i.e., significantly more than the average rate of inflation -- with the net effect that over time wealthy people get wealthier.

To support his thesis he did a lot of work in historical records and his book contains a lot of information about the English economy in Austen's era. Quoting from page 105:

quote:

In the eighteenth century, per capita income grew very slowly. In Great Britain, the average income was on the order of 30 pounds a year in the early 1800s, when Jane Austen wrote her novels. The same average income could have been observed in 1720 or 17790. Hence these were very stable reference points, with which Austen had grown up. She knew that to live comfortably and elegantly, secure proper transportation and clothing, eat well, and find amusement and a necessary minimum of domestic servants, one needed -- by her lights -- at least twenty to thirty times that much. The characters in her novels consider themselves free from need only if they dispose of incomes of 500 to 1,000 pounds a year.

. . . half a century later, in the 1850s, the average income was barely 40-50 pounds a year. Readers probably found the amounts mentioned by Jane Austen somewhat too small to live comfortably but were not totally confused by them."


A few hundred pages later, Piketty gets to why these thresholds are important:

quote:


For [Balzac and Austen] the material and psychological threshold was about 30 times the average income of the day. Below that level, a Balzacian or Austenian hero found it difficult to live a dignified life. It was quite possible to cross that threshold if one was among the wealthiest 1 percent (and even better if one approached the top 0.5 or even 0.1 percent) of French or British society in the nineteeth century. This was a well defined and fairly numerous social group -- a minority, to be sure, but a large enough minority to define the social structure of society and sustain a novelistic universe. But it was totally out of reach for anyone content to practice a profession; no matter how well it paid: the best paid 1 percent of professions did not allow one to come anywhere near this standard of living (nor did the best paid .1 percent).


For what it's worth, I'll throw in Piketty's analysis of Austen's take on inequality:

quote:


In particular, Jane Austen minutely describes daily life in the early nineteenth century; she tells us what it costs to eat, to buy furniture and clothing, and to travel about. And indeed, in the absence of modern technology, eveything is very costly and takes time and above all staff. Servants are needed to gather and prepare food (which cannot easily be preserved). Clothing costs money; even the most minimal fancy dress might cost several month's or even years' income. Travel was also expensive. It required horses, carriages, services, to take care of them, feed for the animals, and so on. The reader is made to see that life would have been objectively quite difficult for a person with only 3-5 times the average income, because it would then have been necessary to spend most of one's time attending to the needs of daily life. If you wanted books or musical instruments or jewelry or ball gowns, then there was no choice but to have an income 20-30 times the average income of the day.

. . .

notwithstanding the extravagance of some of their characters, these nineteenth century novelists describe a world in which inequality was to a certain extent necessary; if there had not been a sufficiently wealthy minority, nobody would have been able to worry about anything other than survival. This view of inequality deserves credit for not describing itself as meritocratic, if nothing else. .. . In this world it was perfectly obvious, moreover, that without a fortune it was impossible to live a dignified life. Having a diploma or skill might allow a person to produce, and therefore to earn, 5 or 10 times more than the average, but not much more than that."

Piketty, pg 415-416.

In his notes (pg 619, note 36) Piketty gives the further information that the top 1 percent enjoyed an income about 60-75 times the average income. Also, he states that the 30x average income threshold we find in Austen and Balzac corresponds to roughly the top 0.5 percent of the "inheritance hierarchy", or about 50,000 individuals out of a British population of 10 million British adults in 1800-1810. The top 1 percent enjoyed an income about 60-75 times the average income.

So that's the overall economic and social picture we're looking at here. This is, after all, a novel for the top one percent, but nobody else has any free time to read novels. It's also a *small* society; there are only fifty thousand people in it. Everyone in the top 1 percent in Austen's England knew everybody else, at least by reputation, or had friends in common. Think of the way a scandal can fly through a state college campus -- that's about how it would fly through Austen's English society (just, well, slower, because everyone is travelling by carriage). Finally, it's a society where climbing into the upper class by your own efforts is essentially impossible -- Mr. Bingley's father "in trade" would have had to have been one of the top .01% of successful merchants in the entire nation. The only real route to social mobility is gonna be a lucky inheritance or a lucky marriage.

(If you want to read more on Piketty, some articles from google:

http://qz.com/193098/everything-wrong-with-capitalism-as-explained-by-balzac-house-and-the-aristocats/
https://blogs.law.harvard.edu/philg/2014/05/15/was-income-inequality-much-larger-200-years-ago/
http://boingboing.net/2014/06/24/thomas-pikettys-capital-in-t.html )

Hieronymous Alloy fucked around with this message at 04:52 on Sep 4, 2014

Bubbacub
Apr 17, 2001

Kelfeftaf posted:

- I like how every man's income is publicly known. Were people just really open about how much they made during this time period?

Pretty sure that income being private is mostly an American thing, and I think a lot of companies encourage the idea that discussing your salary with your coworkers is illegal (it definitely isn't). I walked into the room where my French housemate was Skyping with her parents, and pretty much the first thing she said was "My parents want to know how much money you make!" I was caught off-balance because nobody has ever asked that before.

Great analysis, Hieronymous! There are so many lines that I've sort of glossed over in previous readings of the book, it's nice to learn the context behind them.

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound
Ok, on to Chapter Three.

Before we start the chapter, one thing I want to mention: It's going to be easy for us to look at this story and realize "ok, they hate each other, def. gonna marry" because we've all seen this plot and these characters a thousand times already in other media and other versions. Remember that for Austen's readers this was all extremely original. Just like you have to bear in mind while reading Tolkien that orcs aren't cliche for him because he invented them, same here with Austen and her romance tropes and characters. She's inventing the tropes.

Anyway, substance. Chapter starts out with the beginnings of the social dance -- invitations back and forth, etc. That process gets interrupted though by the Assembly (which I talked about above). This is the first introduction of the male main character (s), and it sets up the rest of the novel.

quote:

And when the party entered the assembly room, it consisted of only five altogether; Mr. Bingley, his two sisters, the husband of the oldest, and another young man.

Mr. Bingley was good looking and gentlemanlike; he had a pleasant countenance, and easy, unaffected manners. His sisters were fine women, with an air of decided fashion. His brother-in-law, Mr. Hurst, merely looked the gentleman; but his friend Mr. Darcy soon drew the attention of the room by his fine, tall person, handsome features, noble mien; and the report which was in general circulation within five minutes after his entrance, of his having ten thousand a year. The gentlemen pronounced him to be a fine figure of a man, the ladies declared he was much handsomer than Mr. Bingley, and he was looked at with great admiration for about half the evening, till his manners gave a disgust which turned the tide of his popularity; for he was discovered to be proud, to be above his company, and above being pleased; and not all his large estate in Derbyshire could then save him from having a most forbidding, disagreeable countenance, and being unworthy to be compared with his friend.



drat, Darcy is crazy wealthy. That's something like 400 times the annual average income; as a rough equivalent, imagine this dude pulling in four million a year in income. He's not just a one-percenter, he's a one-percenter of the one-percent. The "large estate" is important too, because it tell us the *source* of his money -- he's not some upstart "in trade", like Mr. Bingley, he's a landowner. Also note that he has a french-derived, i.e., by implication, Norman name, "Fitzwilliam D[']Arcy" -- he's from an ooooollllddd money family and connected to the nobility, and probably the high nobility. This guy is the 19th-century equivalent of a rock star. ("Fitz[name]" was a name sometimes given to illegitimate children of royalty). Technically, the Bennets are in his same social class, because they're landed gentry and so is he, but that's like saying Paul McCartney and the guy who was the lead singer for Fine Young Cannibals are both professional musicians.

So he's "Proud" because he's stuck out in the country surrounded by country bumpkins and there's nobody else in the room except the Bingleys that he knows or considers on his social level. He's even sortof slumming it by hanging out with Bingley, but everyone likes Bingley.

quote:

Mr. Bingley had soon made himself acquainted with all the principal people in the room; he was lively and unreserved, danced every dance, was angry that the ball closed so early, and talked of giving one himself at Netherfield. Such amiable qualities must speak for themselves. What a contrast between him and his friend! Mr. Darcy danced only once with Mrs. Hurst and once with Miss Bingley, declined being introduced to any other lady, and spent the rest of the evening in walking about the room, speaking occasionally to one of his own party. His character was decided. He was the proudest, most disagreeable man in the world, and every body hoped that he would never come there again. Amongst the most violent against him was Mrs. Bennet, whose dislike of his general behaviour was sharpened into particular resentment by his having slighted one of her daughters.

Elizabeth Bennet had been obliged, by the scarcity of gentlemen, to sit down for two dances; and during part of that time, Mr. Darcy had been standing near enough for her to overhear a conversation between him and Mr. Bingley, who came from the dance for a few minutes to press his friend to join it.

``Come, Darcy,'' said he, ``I must have you dance. I hate to see you standing about by yourself in this stupid manner. You had much better dance.''

``I certainly shall not. You know how I detest it, unless I am particularly acquainted with my partner. At such an assembly as this, it would be insupportable. Your sisters are engaged, and there is not another woman in the room whom it would not be a punishment to me to stand up with.''

``I would not be so fastidious as you are,'' cried Bingley, ``for a kingdom! Upon my honour I never met with so many pleasant girls in my life, as I have this evening; and there are several of them, you see, uncommonly pretty.''

``You are dancing with the only handsome girl in the room,'' said Mr. Darcy, looking at the eldest Miss Bennet.

``Oh! she is the most beautiful creature I ever beheld! But there is one of her sisters sitting down just behind you, who is very pretty, and I dare say very agreeable. Do let me ask my partner to introduce you.''

``Which do you mean?'' and turning round, he looked for a moment at Elizabeth, till catching her eye, he withdrew his own and coldly said, ``She is tolerable; but not handsome enough to tempt me; and I am in no humour at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men. You had better return to your partner and enjoy her smiles, for you are wasting your time with me.''

Mr. Bingley followed his advice. Mr. Darcy walked off; and Elizabeth remained with no very cordial feelings towards him. She told the story however with great spirit among her friends; for she had a lively, playful disposition, which delighted in any thing ridiculous.



drat, Darcy is a cold-rear end motherfucker. There's your "Pride" in the title. This is such a great scene; Darcy is such an rear end in a top hat, and there's that instant sympathy for poor wallflower Elizabeth, which she just reinforces by showing she can take the situation and laugh about it.

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


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Morbid Hound
And while I'm at it, Chapter Four.


quote:

WHEN Jane and Elizabeth were alone, the former, who had been cautious in her praise of Mr. Bingley before, expressed to her sister how very much she admired him.

``He is just what a young man ought to be,'' said she, ``sensible, good humoured, lively; and I never saw such happy manners! -- so much ease, with such perfect good breeding!''

``He is also handsome,'' replied Elizabeth, ``which a young man ought likewise to be, if he possibly can. His character is thereby complete.''

``I was very much flattered by his asking me to dance a second time. I did not expect such a compliment.''

``Did not you? I did for you. But that is one great difference between us. Compliments always take you by surprise, and me never. What could be more natural than his asking you again? He could not help seeing that you were about five times as pretty as every other woman in the room. No thanks to his gallantry for that. Well, he certainly is very agreeable, and I give you leave to like him. You have liked many a stupider person.''

``Dear Lizzy!''

``Oh! you are a great deal too apt, you know, to like people in general. You never see a fault in any body. All the world are good and agreeable in your eyes. I never heard you speak ill of a human being in my life.''

``I would wish not to be hasty in censuring any one; but I always speak what I think.''

``I know you do; and it is that which makes the wonder. With your good sense, to be honestly blind to the follies and nonsense of others! Affectation of candour is common enough; -- one meets it every where. But to be candid without ostentation or design -- to take the good of every body's character and make it still better, and say nothing of the bad -- belongs to you alone. And so, you like this man's sisters too, do you? Their manners are not equal to his.''

``Certainly not; at first. But they are very pleasing women when you converse with them."

So Jane (the older, pretty one) likes everybody. She's like Bingley, she's just a nice pretty person who genuinely likes everybody. Elizabeth . . . has other opinions. What are those opinions?


quote:

Elizabeth listened in silence, but was not convinced. Their behaviour at the assembly had not been calculated to please in general; and with more quickness of observation and less pliancy of temper than her sister, and with a judgment, too, unassailed by any attention to herself, she was very little disposed to approve them. They were in fact very fine ladies, not deficient in good humour when they were pleased, nor in the power of being agreeable where they chose it; but proud and conceited. They were rather handsome, had been educated in one of the first private seminaries in town, had a fortune of twenty thousand pounds, were in the habit of spending more than they ought, and of associating with people of rank; and were therefore in every respect entitled to think well of themselves, and meanly of others. They were of a respectable family in the north of England; a circumstance more deeply impressed on their memories than that their brother's fortune and their own had been acquired by trade.

Mr. Bingley inherited property to the amount of nearly an hundred thousand pounds from his father, who had intended to purchase an estate, but did not live to do it. -- Mr. Bingley intended it likewise, and sometimes made choice of his county; but as he was now provided with a good house and the liberty of a manor, it was doubtful to many of those who best knew the easiness of his temper, whether he might not spend the remainder of his days at Netherfield, and leave the next generation to purchase.

Oh, so much hangs on that "by trade". It's hard to get this idea across to a modern audience but money that was from working was seen as bad. Good money was from land ownership and from being in the nobility. If you got your money from trade, you might as well be a servant. (Just as one example, the wives of barristers could be presented to the Queen at court, but the wives of mere solicitors could not, in part because barristers did not contract directly with the public for cash while solicitors did. Both were attorneys, but solicitors were in trade). The reason Bingley wants to purchase an estate is so he'll move from having money from trade to money from land, an important change of social class. The best analogy I can think of would be to compare merely being wealthy with also being famous -- money from land has a glamor that money from trade very much does not.

And that also means that Elizabeth is being kindof catty here. She's thinking -- not saying, but thinking -- that Bingley's sisters are mighty stuck-up for an upstart family that got their money from mere trade. Maybe Darcy isn't the only one in this novel with some pride.


The rest of the chapter gives us some insight into Bingley and Darcy's relationship, interesting because it seems to be one of the very few times in an Austen novel we see the narrator discussing a relationship between men.

quote:


Between him and Darcy there was a very steady friendship, in spite of a great opposition of character. -- Bingley was endeared to Darcy by the easiness, openness, ductility of his temper, though no disposition could offer a greater contrast to his own, and though with his own he never appeared dissatisfied. On the strength of Darcy's regard Bingley had the firmest reliance, and of his judgment the highest opinion. In understanding, Darcy was the superior. Bingley was by no means deficient, but Darcy was clever. He was at the same time haughty, reserved, and fastidious, and his manners, though well bred, were not inviting. In that respect his friend had greatly the advantage. Bingley was sure of being liked wherever he appeared; Darcy was continually giving offence.

The manner in which they spoke of the Meryton assembly was sufficiently characteristic. Bingley had never met with pleasanter people or prettier girls in his life; every body had been most kind and attentive to him, there had been no formality, no stiffness; he had soon felt acquainted with all the room; and as to Miss Bennet, he could not conceive an angel more beautiful. Darcy, on the contrary, had seen a collection of people in whom there was little beauty and no fashion, for none of whom he had felt the smallest interest, and from none received either attention or pleasure. Miss Bennet he acknowledged to be pretty, but she smiled too much.

Look at how Bingley and Darcy's reactions parallel Jane and Elizabeth's. Bingley sees the good in everbody, especially Jane; Darcy is probably smarter and his perceptions more accurate -- there probably wasn't any fashion at a rural Assembly out in the middle of nowhere -- but also kindof a jerk. I love that "but she smiled too much" tag, it's such a perfect grouch line. (When the line references "Miss Bennet", he means Jane, the eldest, the nice one, not Lizzy.)

Anyway, chapter ends with everyone in Bingley's family at least approving his chasing Jane. Wedding bells are imminent then, right? right?

Hieronymous Alloy fucked around with this message at 17:12 on Sep 4, 2014

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


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Morbid Hound
Chapter Five mostly continues the Assembly aftermath-chat. The latter half of the chapter has some real meat though:

quote:

``My overhearings were more to the purpose than yours, Eliza,'' said Charlotte. ``Mr. Darcy is not so well worth listening to as his friend, is he? -- Poor Eliza! -- to be only just tolerable.''

``I beg you would not put it into Lizzy's head to be vexed by his ill-treatment; for he is such a disagreeable man that it would be quite a misfortune to be liked by him. Mrs. Long told me last night that he sat close to her for half an hour without once opening his lips.''

``Are you quite sure, Ma'am? -- is not there a little mistake?'' said Jane. -- ``I certainly saw Mr. Darcy speaking to her.''

``Aye -- because she asked him at last how he liked Netherfield, and he could not help answering her; -- but she said he seemed very angry at being spoke to.''

``Miss Bingley told me,'' said Jane, ``that he never speaks much unless among his intimate acquaintance. With them he is remarkably agreeable.''

``I do not believe a word of it, my dear. If he had been so very agreeable, he would have talked to Mrs. Long. But I can guess how it was; every body says that he is ate up with pride, and I dare say he had heard somehow that Mrs. Long does not keep a carriage, and had come to the ball in a hack chaise.''

``I do not mind his not talking to Mrs. Long,'' said Miss Lucas, ``but I wish he had danced with Eliza.''

``Another time, Lizzy,'' said her mother, ``I would not dance with him, if I were you.''

``I believe, Ma'am, I may safely promise you never to dance with him.''

``His pride,'' said Miss Lucas, ``does not offend me so much as pride often does, because there is an excuse for it. One cannot wonder that so very fine a young man, with family, fortune, every thing in his favour, should think highly of himself. If I may so express it, he has a right to be proud.''

``That is very true,'' replied Elizabeth, ``and I could easily forgive his pride, if he had not mortified mine.''

``Pride,'' observed Mary, who piqued herself upon the solidity of her reflections, ``is a very common failing I believe. By all that I have ever read, I am convinced that it is very common indeed, that human nature is particularly prone to it, and that there are very few of us who do not cherish a feeling of self-complacency on the score of some quality or other, real or imaginary. Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonimously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us.''

``If I were as rich as Mr. Darcy,'' cried a young Lucas who came with his sisters, ``I should not care how proud I was. I would keep a pack of foxhounds, and drink a bottle of wine every day.''

``Then you would drink a great deal more than you ought,'' said Mrs. Bennet; ``and if I were to see you at it, I should take away your bottle directly.''

The boy protested that she should not; she continued to declare that she would, and the argument ended only with the visit.

So Austen's starting to add some shades and layers to her concept of "Pride" here. Maybe it's not all bad? Maybe, from what Jane says, Darcy is just kinda shy?

I entirely approve of this "keep a big pack of dogs" and "drink a bottle of wine every day" plan. Sounds awesome.

One more background note: that bit about "does not keep a carriage." This, again, is a big societal deal. Keeping a carriage is another one of those economic-threshold deals. Keeping a carriage wasn't cheap -- you'd need servants, horses, feed, stabling, etc. -- but the only alternative transport short of walking would have been hiring a "hack-chaise", i.e., the 18th century equivalent of a taxi cab. Remember, this isn't a society where everyone owns their own vehicle -- it's a society where almost nobody does, except for the absolute aristocracy, the very wealthy. So if you can keep your own carriage, you're very visibly one of the aristocracy, even if you don't have a large visible estate or a big fine house. So keeping a carriage is like the entry-level conspicuous consumption and status symbol that shows you're a member of the elite. In a lot of eighteenth-century-setting literature, you'll find "set up his carriage" used as a shorthand term for "got wealthy".

Hieronymous Alloy fucked around with this message at 21:11 on Sep 4, 2014

Kelfeftaf
Sep 9, 2011
For what it's worth, a five-part Pride and Prejudice adaptation from 1980 is currently on Netflix.

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound

Kelfeftaf posted:

For what it's worth, a five-part Pride and Prejudice adaptation from 1980 is currently on Netflix.

Is it any good? I've only seen the 1995 BBC version (Amazing!) and parts of the more recent Kiera Knightley version (So bad).

Feel free to watch & comment on any adaptation you want in this thread, just don't skip too far ahead of where we are in the actual book. Sorry I'm a little behind schedule with the updates! I should be caught up by the end of the weekend.

Hieronymous Alloy fucked around with this message at 13:14 on Sep 5, 2014

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound
Chapter Six!

Ok, these chapters are starting to get longer! Lots of interesting stuff happens in this one.


First, Charlotte has some interesting things to say. Charlotte isn't a Bennett sister -- she's the daughter of Sir William Lucas, and in this book she's Elizabeth's friend and the voice of practical reason.

quote:

``It may perhaps be pleasant,'' replied Charlotte, ``to be able to impose on the public in such a case; but it is sometimes a disadvantage to be so very guarded. If a woman conceals her affection with the same skill from the object of it, she may lose the opportunity of fixing him; and it will then be but poor consolation to believe the world equally in the dark. There is so much of gratitude or vanity in almost every attachment, that it is not safe to leave any to itself. We can all begin freely -- a slight preference is natural enough; but there are very few of us who have heart enough to be really in love without encouragement. In nine cases out of ten, a woman had better shew more affection than she feels. Bingley likes your sister undoubtedly; but he may never do more than like her, if she does not help him on.''
. . .

``Perhaps he must, if he sees enough of her. But though Bingley and Jane meet tolerably often, it is never for many hours together; and as they always see each other in large mixed parties, it is impossible that every moment should be employed in conversing together. Jane should therefore make the most of every half hour in which she can command his attention. When she is secure of him, there will be leisure for falling in love as much as she chuses.''
. . .

`Well,'' said Charlotte, ``I wish Jane success with all my heart; and if she were married to him to-morrow, I should think she had as good a chance of happiness as if she were to be studying his character for a twelvemonth. Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance. If the dispositions of the parties are ever so well known to each other, or ever so similar before-hand, it does not advance their felicity in the least. They always contrive to grow sufficiently unlike afterwards to have their share of vexation; and it is better to know as little as possible of the defects of the person with whom you are to pass your life.''

``You make me laugh, Charlotte; but it is not sound. You know it is not sound, and that you would never act in this way yourself.''

More importantly, though, the main action is starting to heat up! That tall, dark rear end in a top hat Mr. Darcy is smoldering from afar!

quote:

Occupied in observing Mr. Bingley's attentions to her sister, Elizabeth was far from suspecting that she was herself becoming an object of some interest in the eyes of his friend. Mr. Darcy had at first scarcely allowed her to be pretty; he had looked at her without admiration at the ball; and when they next met, he looked at her only to criticise. But no sooner had he made it clear to himself and his friends that she had hardly a good feature in her face, than he began to find it was rendered uncommonly intelligent by the beautiful expression of her dark eyes. To this discovery succeeded some others equally mortifying. Though he had detected with a critical eye more than one failure of perfect symmetry in her form, he was forced to acknowledge her figure to be light and pleasing; and in spite of his asserting that her manners were not those of the fashionable world, he was caught by their easy playfulness. Of this she was perfectly unaware; -- to her he was only the man who made himself agreeable no where, and who had not thought her handsome enough to dance with.

He began to wish to know more of her, and as a step towards conversing with her himself, attended to her conversation with others. His doing so drew her notice. It was at Sir William Lucas's, where a large party were assembled. ``What does Mr. Darcy mean,'' said she to Charlotte, ``by listening to my conversation with Colonel Forster?''

``That is a question which Mr. Darcy only can answer.''

``But if he does it any more, I shall certainly let him know that I see what he is about. He has a very satirical eye, and if I do not begin by being impertinent myself, I shall soon grow afraid of him.''

A little bit later, at a dance:

quote:

[Sir William Lucas] paused in hopes of an answer; but his companion was not disposed to make any; and Elizabeth at that instant moving towards them, he was struck with the notion of doing a very gallant thing, and called out to her,

``My dear Miss Eliza, why are not you dancing? -- Mr. Darcy, you must allow me to present this young lady to you as a very desirable partner. -- You cannot refuse to dance, I am sure, when so much beauty is before you.'' And taking her hand, he would have given it to Mr. Darcy, who, though extremely surprised, was not unwilling to receive it, when she instantly drew back, and said with some discomposure to Sir William,

``Indeed, Sir, I have not the least intention of dancing. -- I entreat you not to suppose that I moved this way in order to beg for a partner.''

Mr. Darcy with grave propriety requested to be allowed the honour of her hand; but in vain. Elizabeth was determined; nor did Sir William at all shake her purpose by his attempt at persuasion.

``You excel so much in the dance, Miss Eliza, that it is cruel to deny me the happiness of seeing you; and though this gentleman dislikes the amusement in general, he can have no objection, I am sure, to oblige us for one half hour.''

``Mr. Darcy is all politeness,'' said Elizabeth, smiling.

``He is indeed -- but considering the inducement, my dear Miss Eliza, we cannot wonder at his complaisance; for who would object to such a partner?''

Elizabeth looked archly, and turned away.

The "I have not the least intention of dancing" is a polite form -- women at the time couldn't turn down a specific man for dancing without being shockingly rude; you had to say you didn't want to dance with anybody.


quote:

Her resistance had not injured her with the gentleman, and he was thinking of her with some complacency, when thus accosted by Miss Bingley.

``I can guess the subject of your reverie.''

``I should imagine not.''

``You are considering how insupportable it would be to pass many evenings in this manner -- in such society; and indeed I am quite of your opinion. I was never more annoyed! The insipidity and yet the noise; the nothingness and yet the self-importance of all these people! -- What would I give to hear your strictures on them!''

``Your conjecture is totally wrong, I assure you. My mind was more agreeably engaged. I have been meditating on the very great pleasure which a pair of fine eyes in the face of a pretty woman can bestow.''

Miss Bingley immediately fixed her eyes on his face, and desired he would tell her what lady had the credit of inspiring such reflections. Mr. Darcy replied with great intrepidity,

``Miss Elizabeth Bennet.''

``Miss Elizabeth Bennet!'' repeated Miss Bingley. ``I am all astonishment. How long has she been such a favourite? -- and pray when am I to wish you joy?''

``That is exactly the question which I expected you to ask. A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony, in a moment. I knew you would be wishing me joy.''

``Nay, if you are so serious about it, I shall consider the matter as absolutely settled. You will have a charming mother-in-law, indeed, and of course she will be always at Pemberley with you.''

He listened to her with perfect indifference while she chose to entertain herself in this manner, and as his composure convinced her that all was safe, her wit flowed long.

That umarried Bingley sister is starting to get catty.

I tend to read Darcy's line about "a lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony, in a moment" as a subtle dig at the reader -- we all think we know, at this point, exactly who is going to end up married to who at the end of this novel, and this is Austen's way of telling us not to jump to conclusions.

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


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Morbid Hound
Chapter Seven starts adding some complications.

First off, we find out why we aren't going to be hearing wedding bells ringing right away.

quote:

MR. BENNET'S property consisted almost entirely in an estate of two thousand a year, which, unfortunately for his daughters, was entailed, in default of heirs male, on a distant relation; and their mother's fortune, though ample for her situation in life, could but ill supply the deficiency of his. Her father had been an attorney in Meryton, and had left her four thousand pounds.

She had a sister married to a Mr. Phillips, who had been a clerk to their father, and succeeded him in the business, and a brother settled in London in a respectable line of trade.

This is bad. Mr. Bennet's income is decent for this generation but even if the daughters inherited it, it wouldn't be enough to maintain them in the gentry by itself; each daughter would inherit about 400 a year, which would be half that 700-1000 pound threshold we've talked about before as the minimum for the gentry.

The bigger deal though is that "entailed, in default of heirs male" language. All of Mr. Bennett's revenue is coming from land rents on a big estate -- the "estate of two thousand a year." What the "entailed" bit means is that he inherited that land under a clause in (presumably, his father's and/or grandfather's) wills requiring the land to be inherited by a male heir. Women can't own it, he can't sell it off -- it's his till he dies, and then the closest male relative inherits it, whoever that is. In this case, it's a "distant relation," someone nobody in the family even knows.

So all the daughters can inherit is the mother's four thousand pound lump sum, or eight hundred pounds each. They'll (presumably) be able to get a 5% rate of return on that lump sum each, for around forty pounds a year each, or just barely above the average wage. By the gentry's terms, they'll be destitute, possibly so poor they wouldn't even be able to keep a servant of their own, and certainly too poor to afford things like books or horses or new gowns. They'd have to either rely on the charity of that "distant relation" -- an uncertain prospect at best -- or, well, manual labor (which they have absolutely no training in anyway). Basically they have to marry well, or become reliant on charity.

The bigger issue is that this also means the Bennet girls are all very poor marriage prospects themselves, because they can't bring anything significant to the bargain. They aren't the only people trying to marry well for big money -- everybody else is too, because everyone knows that's how you get your family ahead.


So that's the background there. Meanwhile, it seems the younger sisters have been tramping it up in the next village:

quote:

The village of Longbourn was only one mile from Meryton; a most convenient distance for the young ladies, who were usually tempted thither three or four times a week, to pay their duty to their aunt, and to a milliner's shop just over the way. The two youngest of the family, Catherine and Lydia, were particularly frequent in these attentions; their minds were more vacant than their sisters', and when nothing better offered, a walk to Meryton was necessary to amuse their morning hours and furnish conversation for the evening; and however bare of news the country in general might be, they always contrived to learn some from their aunt. At present, indeed, they were well supplied both with news and happiness by the recent arrival of a militia regiment in the neighbourhood; it was to remain the whole winter, and Meryton was the head quarters.

Their visits to Mrs. Philips were now productive of the most interesting intelligence. Every day added something to their knowledge of the officers' names and connections. Their lodgings were not long a secret, and at length they began to know the officers themselves. Mr. Philips visited them all, and this opened to his nieces a source of felicity unknown before. They could talk of nothing but officers; and Mr. Bingley's large fortune, the mention of which gave animation to their mother, was worthless in their eyes when opposed to the regimentals of an ensign.

After listening one morning to their effusions on this subject, Mr. Bennet coolly observed,

``From all that I can collect by your manner of talking, you must be two of the silliest girls in the country. I have suspected it some time, but I am now convinced.''

Wait, what's this about soldiers? Oh, yeah, there's a war on, in case everyone forgot. Depending on exactly when the novel's action takes place (sometime around 1810?) Napoleon has basically conquered or forcibly allied all of Europe at this point, and is at the peak of his power, with only England as a serious threat against his total dominion (the invasion of Russia won't happen for another couple years). If you're a young gentleman serious about defending the country, then, you join the Navy -- they're the ones actually getting shot at. If you aren't -- if instead you're the sort of rich young jerk who would've joined the National Guard during Viet Nam -- you maybe become an officer in a local militia. There's a good article on the militia in P&P here; basically, for now, what you need to know is that the militia were a home-defense corps that wouldn't be leaving Britain, that the militia's officers were mostly going to be younger sons of gentry, they were moving all over the country in fancy uniforms having a good time, and the possibility of promotion meant the military was a path to social promotion in a country that otherwise didn't have any real way to climb social ranks.

So when Mr. Bennett is mocking his two silliest daughters for their silly infatuation with soldiers, he's got a real basis for it: the guys aren't the RAF pilots in the Battle of Britain, they're the National Guard during Vietnam.



Anyway, back to the book. Jane is invited to dine at Netherfield, and goes on a horse instead of in a carriage, because the carriage-horses are needed to work the farm that day (another sign that Mr. Bennett isn't all that wealthy -- if he were, he would have separate carriage horses and farm horses).

But it rains, and Jane falls ill.

quote:

``This was a lucky idea of mine, indeed!'' said Mrs. Bennet, more than once, as if the credit of making it rain were all her own. Till the next morning, however, she was not aware of all the felicity of her contrivance. Breakfast was scarcely over when a servant from Netherfield brought the following note for Elizabeth:

quote:

``My dearest Lizzy,

I FIND myself very unwell this morning, which, I suppose, is to be imputed to my getting wet through yesterday. My kind friends will not hear of my returning home till I am better. They insist also on my seeing Mr. Jones -- therefore do not be alarmed if you should hear of his having been to me -- and excepting a sore throat and head-ache, there is not much the matter with me.

Yours, &c.''

``Well, my dear,'' said Mr. Bennet, when Elizabeth had read the note aloud, ``if your daughter should have a dangerous fit of illness, if she should die, it would be a comfort to know that it was all in pursuit of Mr. Bingley, and under your orders.''

``Oh! I am not at all afraid of her dying. People do not die of little trifling colds. She will be taken good care of. As long is she stays there, it is all very well. I would go and see her, if I could have the carriage.''

Elizabeth, feeling really anxious, was determined to go to her, though the carriage was not to be had; and as she was no horse-woman, walking was her only alternative. She declared her resolution.

This passage really shows just how silly Mrs. Bennett is. Remember this was an era where people did die of colds all the time. No vaccines, no antibiotics. Even if you didn't die, you might be disfigured, or left permanently crippled,or any number of horrible things. But instead her mother is basically in denial.

quote:

Elizabeth, feeling really anxious, was determined to go to her, though the carriage was not to be had; and as she was no horse-woman, walking was her only alternative. She declared her resolution.

``How can you be so silly,'' cried her mother, ``as to think of such a thing, in all this dirt! You will not be fit to be seen when you get there.''

``I shall be very fit to see Jane -- which is all I want.''

``Is this a hint to me, Lizzy,'' said her father, ``to send for the horses?''

``No, indeed. I do not wish to avoid the walk. The distance is nothing, when one has a motive; only three miles. I shall be back by dinner.''

``I admire the activity of your benevolence,'' observed Mary, ``but every impulse of feeling should be guided by reason; and, in my opinion, exertion should always be in proportion to what is required.''

``We will go as far as Meryton with you,'' said Catherine and Lydia. -- Elizabeth accepted their company, and the three young ladies set off together.

``If we make haste,'' said Lydia, as they walked along, ``perhaps we may see something of Captain Carter before he goes.''

In Meryton they parted; the two youngest repaired to the lodgings of one of the officers' wives, and Elizabeth continued her walk alone, crossing field after field at a quick pace, jumping over stiles and springing over puddles with impatient activity, and finding herself at last within view of the house, with weary ancles, dirty stockings, and a face glowing with the warmth of exercise.

Aaand this really shows how silly the rest of the girls in the family are. Elizabeth is the only one who cares enough to take Jane's sickness seriously; Mary retreats behind a screen of "reason"; the mother is so in denial she calls Elizabeth silly; the younger two are so silly they run off to tramp around after officers in Meryton some more.

Anyway, long story short, when Elizabeth arrives she finds that Jane has been getting worse. Mr. Darcy thinks better of Elizabeth for coming, but the Sisters Bingley seem to be sneering at her for tramping about the countryside like that. It ends up being agreed that Elizabeth and Jane will stay at Netherfield until Jane recovers.

Hieronymous Alloy fucked around with this message at 20:03 on Sep 6, 2014

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound
Ok, my copy of the Annotated Pride and Prejudice just got here, so from now on I'll be even more smartypants on this stuff. If I start getting *too* detailed and I'm repeating or explicating stuff that's obvious to everybody, let me know and I can back off a bit.

Chapter 8.

quote:

AT five o'clock the two ladies retired to dress, and at half past six Elizabeth was summoned to dinner. To the civil enquiries which then poured in, and amongst which she had the pleasure of distinguishing the much superior solicitude of Mr. Bingley's, she could not make a very favourable answer. Jane was by no means better. The sisters, on hearing this, repeated three or four times how much they were grieved, how shocking it was to have a bad cold, and how excessively they disliked being ill themselves, and then thought no more of the matter; and their indifference towards Jane, when not immediately before them, restored Elizabeth to the enjoyment of all her original dislike.

The dinner time is another class distinction. For one thing, the sisters Bingley are taking an hour and a half to dress for dinner. Dressing for dinner was normal at this time among the gentry -- dinner was a formal meal -- but taking an hour and a half may've been a bit long. They're just *that fancy*.

There's also a class note in the timing. The usual hour for dinner, especially out in the country, was around five o'clock; a later dinner hour was a London thing and a rich-people thing, because eating later in the day meant you you could afford that many candles. So even the dinner hour here is another "tell" that the Bingleys are fashionable folk.

It's hilarious just how drily Austen paints the Bingley sisters as total callous bitches here and how she also doesn't cut her heroine any slack for wallowing in a little bit of snarky spite, either.

quote:

. . . as for Mr. Hurst, by whom Elizabeth sat, he was an indolent man, who lived only to eat, drink, and play at cards, who, when he found her prefer a plain dish to a ragout, had nothing to say to her.

Yet another class tell. Ragout = spicy = french cuisine = more fashionable ; plain dish = country fare = rural and unfashionable. Elizabeth is a farmgirl and it shows. I love how Austen uses such dismissive language for Mr. Hurst precisely in the same way that Hurst is so dismissive of Elizabeth.

As soon as Elizabeth leaves the room the Bingley sisters start sharpening their claws in her back.

quote:

When dinner was over, she returned directly to Jane, and Miss Bingley began abusing her as soon as she was out of the room. Her manners were pronounced to be very bad indeed, a mixture of pride and impertinence; she had no conversation, no stile, no taste, no beauty. Mrs. Hurst thought the same, and added,

``She has nothing, in short, to recommend her, but being an excellent walker. I shall never forget her appearance this morning. She really looked almost wild.''

``She did indeed, Louisa. I could hardly keep my countenance. Very nonsensical to come at all! Why must she be scampering about the country, because her sister had a cold? Her hair so untidy, so blowsy!''

``Yes, and her petticoat; I hope you saw her petticoat, six inches deep in mud, I am absolutely certain; and the gown which had been let down to hide it not doing its office.''

``Your picture may be very exact, Louisa,'' said Bingley; ``but this was all lost upon me. I thought Miss Elizabeth Bennet looked remarkably well, when she came into the room this morning. Her dirty petticoat quite escaped my notice.''

``You observed it, Mr. Darcy, I am sure,'' said Miss Bingley, ``and I am inclined to think that you would not wish to see your sister make such an exhibition.''

``Certainly not.''

``To walk three miles, or four miles, or five miles, or whatever it is, above her ancles in dirt, and alone, quite alone! what could she mean by it? It seems to me to shew an abominable sort of conceited independence, a most country-town indifference to decorum.''

``It shews an affection for her sister that is very pleasing,'' said Bingley.

``I am afraid, Mr. Darcy,'' observed Miss Bingley in a half whisper, ``that this adventure has rather affected your admiration of her fine eyes.''

``Not at all,'' he replied; ``they were brightened by the exercise.'' --

First they're talking about how scandalous it was that she walked by herself without any male accompaniment or protection all that distance and made a mess of herself. This isn't just an attack on her appearance, it's an attack on her morals -- tramping around the countryside like a wanton hussy! This is borderline racy conduct -- she could have been meeting strange men!

[quote]

A short pause followed this speech, and Mrs. Hurst began again.

``I have an excessive regard for Jane Bennet, she is really a very sweet girl, and I wish with all my heart she were well settled. But with such a father and mother, and such low connections, I am afraid there is no chance of it.''

``I think I have heard you say, that their uncle is an attorney in Meryton.''

``Yes; and they have another, who lives somewhere near Cheapside.''

``That is capital,'' added her sister, and they both laughed heartily.

``If they had uncles enough to fill all Cheapside,'' cried Bingley, ``it would not make them one jot less agreeable.''

``But it must very materially lessen their chance of marrying men of any consideration in the world,'' replied Darcy.

To this speech Bingley made no answer; but his sisters gave it their hearty assent, and indulged their mirth for some time at the expense of their dear friend's vulgar relations.

And here the claws really come out. They have an uncle in trade! They're practically all servants themselves! Remember, the Bingley's money is all from trade also, so this is just pure bitchery.

I read this passage and the others like it as the unmarried Miss Bingley trying to cut out a potential rival for Mr. Darcy by playing up the economic unsuitability of the match, but I could be over-reading that, and maybe she's just a bitch.

Anyway, after dinner, they all retire to sit around and play games. When Elizabeth comes back into the room, they're all playing a card game for high stakes, and she can't afford that, so she sits out and reads a book.

quote:

``Do you prefer reading to cards?'' said he; ``that is rather singular.''

``Miss Eliza Bennet,'' said Miss Bingley, ``despises cards. She is a great reader and has no pleasure in anything else.''

``I deserve neither such praise nor such censure,'' cried Elizabeth; ``I am not a great reader, and I have pleasure in many things.''

Two things going on here. The first is that Miss Bingley is calling Elizabeth "Eliza." Social convention at the time wouldn't normally allow people to use shortened or even first names unless they knew each other very well. So she's being a little rude by shortening Elizabeth's name like that -- think of it like giving somebody a nickname when they didn't ask for it.

The second is that she's calling Elizabeth a nerd. Going by the footnotes in this annotated edition, " Social opinion of the time praised women for being well read . . .[b]ut most people frowned on truly scholarly women, especially if their learning led them to slight other pursuits. One guide to female conduct expresses criticism of bookish women for often neglecting their appearance." So Miss Bingley is calling Elizabeth a huge nerd.

The talk continues, and they start talking about what accomplishments a woman should have -- that is, what a genteel, upper-class woman should actually be able to do, and what qualities she should possess.

quote:

``It is amazing to me,'' said Bingley, ``how young ladies can have patience to be so very accomplished as they all are.''

``All young ladies accomplished! My dear Charles, what do you mean?''

``Yes all of them, I think. They all paint tables, cover skreens, and net purses. I scarcely know any one who cannot do all this, and I am sure I never heard a young lady spoken of for the first time, without being informed that she was very accomplished.''

``Your list of the common extent of accomplishments,'' said Darcy, ``has too much truth. The word is applied to many a woman who deserves it no otherwise than by netting a purse, or covering a skreen. But I am very far from agreeing with you in your estimation of ladies in general. I cannot boast of knowing more than half a dozen, in the whole range of my acquaintance, that are really accomplished.''

``Nor I, I am sure,'' said Miss Bingley.

``Then,'' observed Elizabeth, ``you must comprehend a great deal in your idea of an accomplished women.''

``Yes; I do comprehend a great deal in it.''

``Oh! certainly,'' cried his faithful assistant, ``no one can be really esteemed accomplished, who does not greatly surpass what is usually met with. A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, and the modern languages, to deserve the word; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half deserved.''

``All this she must possess,'' added Darcy, ``and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.''

``I am no longer surprised at your knowing only six accomplished women. I rather wonder now at your knowing any.''

``Are you so severe upon your own sex, as to doubt the possibility of all this?''

``I never saw such a woman, I never saw such capacity, and taste, and application, and elegance, as you describe, united.''

Mrs. Hurst and Miss Bingley both cried out against the injustice of her implied doubt, and were both protesting that they knew many women who answered this description, when Mr. Hurst called them to order, with bitter complaints of their inattention to what was going forward. As all conversation was thereby at an end, Elizabeth soon afterwards left the room.

``Eliza Bennet,'' said Miss Bingley, when the door was closed on her, ``is one of those young ladies who seek to recommend themselves to the other sex by undervaluing their own, and with many men, I dare say, it succeeds. But, in my opinion, it is a paltry device, a very mean art.''

``Undoubtedly,'' replied Darcy, to whom this remark was chiefly addressed, ``there is meanness in all the arts which ladies sometimes condescend to employ for captivation. Whatever bears affinity to cunning is despicable.''

Miss Bingley was not so entirely satisfied with this reply as to continue the subject.


This passage is interesting on a few levels. For one thing, it's a critique of the contemporary idea of what a "proper" education for a woman was -- i.e., that a genteel woman should be able to knit, paint, sing, dance, etc., i.e., have artistic skills. Darcy counters this by saying "hey, I think it's more important that a woman actually have a working brain on her shoulders." When he says that, he's not just slapping down Miss Bingley for calling Eliza a nerd earlier, he's also saying that he values women for their minds more than for superficial artistic accomplishments.

Furthermore, when Elizabeth says she hasn't seen any women at all who unite all those virtues -- and the Bingley sisters have all clearly displayed that they have the artistic skills -- she's very modestly, subtly, and politely insulting every other woman in the room, calling them all stupid. She's not a wilting flower to just sit there and let the Bingley women insult her; she gets her own digs in. Good for her.

And Darcy sees right through what Miss Bingley is doing, knocks Miss Bingley for being manipulative, and gives Elizabeth credit for being straightforward. Good for him.

Chapter ends on a more serious note; Jane is getting sicker.

Hieronymous Alloy fucked around with this message at 04:46 on Sep 7, 2014

BarristaSelmy
Oct 10, 2012

Hieronymous Alloy posted:


I read this passage and the others like it as the unmarried Miss Bingley trying to cut out a potential rival for Mr. Darcy by playing up the economic unsuitability of the match, but I could be over-reading that, and maybe she's just a bitch.


I always took this passage as both of the Bingley sisters trying to point out why neither of the Bennet sisters would be a good match for someone in their social circle. While Miss Bingley may only care to make the point to Darcy, Mrs. Hurst seems to be interested in convincing her brother.

quote:


A short pause followed this speech, and Mrs. Hurst began again.

``I have an excessive regard for Jane Bennet, she is really a very sweet girl, and I wish with all my heart she were well settled. But with such a father and mother, and such low connections, I am afraid there is no chance of it.''

I always felt like she was saying to Bingley "I know you like her, but she's just not good enough for our family."

Hieronymous Alloy posted:


This passage is interesting on a few levels. For one thing, it's a critique of the contemporary idea of what a "proper" education for a woman was -- i.e., that a genteel woman should be able to knit, paint, sing, dance, etc., i.e., have artistic skills. Darcy counters this by saying "hey, I think it's more important that a woman actually have a working brain on her shoulders." When he says that, he's not just slapping down Miss Bingley for calling Eliza a nerd earlier, he's also saying that he values women for their minds more than for superficial artistic accomplishments.

And Darcy sees right through what Miss Bingley is doing, knocks Miss Bingley for being manipulative, and gives Elizabeth credit for being straightforward. Good for him.


I've always taken that entire passage as Darcy knocking Miss Bingley a bit. Her entire "act" is that she knows Darcy and what he may desire based on their similar social or financial status. She is insulting Elizabeth based on what she thinks a man like Darcy might like or dislike and Darcy is basically telling her "you don't know what I want" each time. I also feel that he knows Elizabeth is being attacked (even if in a "teasing" manner) and decides to defend her.

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound
On to Chapter Nine!

The next day, Mrs. Bennett shows up. Oh boy.

quote:

ELIZABETH passed the chief of the night in her sister's room, and in the morning had the pleasure of being able to send a tolerable answer to the enquiries which she very early received from Mr. Bingley by a housemaid, and some time afterwards from the two elegant ladies who waited on his sisters. In spite of this amendment, however, she requested to have a note sent to Longbourn, desiring her mother to visit Jane, and form her own judgment of her situation. The note was immediately dispatched, and its contents as quickly complied with. Mrs. Bennet, accompanied by her two youngest girls, reached Netherfield soon after the family breakfast.

Had she found Jane in any apparent danger, Mrs. Bennet would have been very miserable; but being satisfied on seeing her, that her illness was not alarming, she had no wish of her recovering immediately, as her restoration to health would probably remove her from Netherfield. She would not listen therefore to her daughter's proposal of being carried home; neither did the apothecary, who arrived about the same time, think it at all advisable. After sitting a little while with Jane, on Miss Bingley's appearance and invitation the mother and three daughters all attended her into the breakfast parlour. Bingley met them with hopes that Mrs. Bennet had not found Miss Bennet worse than she expected.

``Indeed I have, Sir,'' was her answer. ``She is a great deal too ill to be moved. Mr. Jones says we must not think of moving her. We must trespass a little longer on your kindness.''

``Removed!'' cried Bingley. ``It must not be thought of. My sister, I am sure, will not hear of her removal.''

``You may depend upon it, Madam,'' said Miss Bingley, with cold civility, ``that Miss Bennet shall receive every possible attention while she remains with us.''


They don't want to move her because even carriage travel is a jolting, bumpy royal pain, and if you're already sick it could make you much worse; apparently Jane Austen's mother actually fell sick once as a result of a coach journey (again, getting this from The Annotated). Note how Bingley appears to actually care about Jane's health while Miss Bingley seems like she's just saying the right things due to form.


quote:

`I did not know before,'' continued Bingley immediately, ``that you were a studier of character. It must be an amusing study.''

``Yes; but intricate characters are the most amusing. They have at least that advantage.''

``The country,'' said Darcy, ``can in general supply but few subjects for such a study. In a country neighbourhood you move in a very confined and unvarying society.''

``But people themselves alter so much, that there is something new to be observed in them for ever.''

This seems like it's a bit of authorial voice peeking into the narrative. Austen herself lived mostly in the country.

quote:

`Yes, indeed,'' cried Mrs. Bennet, offended by his manner of mentioning a country neighbourhood. ``I assure you there is quite as much of that going on in the country as in town.''

Every body was surprised; and Darcy, after looking at her for a moment, turned silently away. Mrs. Bennet, who fancied she had gained a complete victory over him, continued her triumph.

``I cannot see that London has any great advantage over the country for my part, except the shops and public places. The country is a vast deal pleasanter, is not it, Mr. Bingley?''

``When I am in the country,'' he replied, ``I never wish to leave it; and when I am in town it is pretty much the same. They have each their advantages, and I can be equally happy in either.''

``Aye -- that is because you have the right disposition. But that gentleman,'' looking at Darcy, ``seemed to think the country was nothing at all.''

``Indeed, Mama, you are mistaken,'' said Elizabeth, blushing for her mother. ``You quite mistook Mr. Darcy. He only meant that there were not such a variety of people to be met with in the country as in town, which you must acknowledge to be true.''

``Certainly, my dear, nobody said there were; but as to not meeting with many people in this neighbourhood, I believe there are few neighbourhoods larger. I know we dine with four and twenty families.''

Nothing but concern for Elizabeth could enable Bingley to keep his countenance. His sister was less delicate, and directed her eye towards Mr. Darcy with a very expressive smile. Elizabeth, for the sake of saying something that might turn her mother's thoughts, now asked her if Charlotte Lucas had been at Longbourn since her coming away.

Oh boy, look at Mrs. Bennett making an rear end of herself. When Mr. Darcy turns away from her without responding, he's doing what contemporary etiquette dictated was the way to deal with someone who was just ridiculously rude or boorish. Mrs. Bennett thinks she's shut him up, but really he's doing the polite version of ""talk to the hand."

The "four and twenty families" thing is of course just wildly ridiculous -- all it does is show how utterly provincial and unfashionable Mrs. Bennet is. Think of this scene as the equivalent of your mom barging in and shouting about how popular she is because she has twenty-four Facebook friends.

They talk some more and then the strumpet chimes in:

quote:

Lydia was a stout, well-grown girl of fifteen, with a fine complexion and good-humoured countenance; a favourite with her mother, whose affection had brought her into public at an early age. She had high animal spirits, and a sort of natural self-consequence, which the attentions of the officers, to whom her uncle's good dinners and her own easy manners recommended her, had increased into assurance. She was very equal, therefore, to address Mr. Bingley on the subject of the ball, and abruptly reminded him of his promise; adding, that it would be the most shameful thing in the world if he did not keep it. His answer to this sudden attack was delightful to their mother's ear.

``I am perfectly ready, I assure you, to keep my engagement, and when your sister is recovered, you shall if you please, name the very day of the ball. But you would not wish to be dancing while she is ill.''

Lydia declared herself satisfied. ``Oh! yes -- it would be much better to wait till Jane was well, and by that time most likely Captain Carter would be at Meryton again. And when you have given your ball,'' she added, ``I shall insist on their giving one also. I shall tell Colonel Forster it will be quite a shame if he does not.''

Mrs. Bennet and her daughters then departed, and Elizabeth returned instantly to Jane, leaving her own and her relations' behaviour to the remarks of the two ladies and Mr. Darcy; the latter of whom, however, could not be prevailed on to join in their censure of her, in spite of all Miss Bingley's witticisms on fine eyes.

"Stout" here doesn't mean fat, just healthy and fit. "High animal spirits" means about what you think it does, "great natural vivacity or good humor" according to The Annotated, with especial reference to "those aspects of human nature that were shared by animals, i.e., the sensual or carnal parts." She is being very forward, by the standards of the time, to confront Mr. Bingley about his promised ball. It's also telling that Lydia seems to have completely forgotten Jane's illness, but Mr. Bingley hasn't.

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound
Chapter Ten sees more flirting and arch witticisms around Netherfield.


To start there's a funny exchange with Miss Bingley annoying the poo poo out of Darcy while he's trying to get some work done writing letters, and Darcy remaining polite the whole time:

quote:

Elizabeth took up some needlework, and was sufficiently amused in attending to what passed between Darcy and his companion. The perpetual commendations of the lady either on his hand-writing, or on the evenness of his lines, or on the length of his letter, with the perfect unconcern with which her praises were received, formed a curious dialogue, and was exactly in unison with her opinion of each.

``How delighted Miss Darcy will be to receive such a letter!''

He made no answer.

``You write uncommonly fast.''

``You are mistaken. I write rather slowly.''

``How many letters you must have occasion to write in the course of the year! Letters of business too! How odious I should think them!''

``It is fortunate, then, that they fall to my lot instead of to yours.''

``Pray tell your sister that I long to see her.''

``I have already told her so once, by your desire.''

``I am afraid you do not like your pen. Let me mend it for you. I mend pens remarkably well.''

``Thank you -- but I always mend my own.''

``How can you contrive to write so even?''

He was silent.

``Tell your sister I am delighted to hear of her improvement on the harp, and pray let her know that I am quite in raptures with her beautiful little design for a table, and I think it infinitely superior to Miss Grantley's.''

``Will you give me leave to defer your raptures till I write again? -- At present I have not room to do them justice.''

The "mend pens" bit means sharpen the quill with a pen-knife; nobody was using metal-nibbed pens yet.

Time passes and there is much chit-chat. After a bit Miss Bingley starts playing some rowdy dance songs and Darcy gets all excited:

quote:

After playing some Italian songs, Miss Bingley varied the charm by a lively Scotch air; and soon afterwards Mr. Darcy, drawing near Elizabeth, said to her --

``Do not you feel a great inclination, Miss Bennet, to seize such an opportunity of dancing a reel?''

She smiled, but made no answer. He repeated the question, with some surprise at her silence.

``Oh!'' said she, ``I heard you before; but I could not immediately determine what to say in reply. You wanted me, I know, to say "Yes," that you might have the pleasure of despising my taste; but I always delight in overthrowing those kind of schemes, and cheating a person of their premeditated contempt. I have therefore made up my mind to tell you that I do not want to dance a reel at all -- and now despise me if you dare.''

``Indeed I do not dare.''

Elizabeth, having rather expected to affront him, was amazed at his gallantry; but there was a mixture of sweetness and archness in her manner which made it difficult for her to affront anybody; and Darcy had never been so bewitched by any woman as he was by her. He really believed, that were it not for the inferiority of her connections, he should be in some danger.

[quote]

So Darcy is falling for Elizabeth, but he's telling himself he's still not really interested because of how poor and common she is.

[quote]
Miss Bingley saw, or suspected, enough to be jealous; and her great anxiety for the recovery of her dear friend Jane received some assistance from her desire of getting rid of Elizabeth.

She often tried to provoke Darcy into disliking her guest, by talking of their supposed marriage, and planning his happiness in such an alliance.

``I hope,'' said she, as they were walking together in the shrubbery the next day, ``you will give your mother-in-law a few hints, when this desirable event takes place, as to the advantage of holding her tongue; and if you can compass it, do cure the younger girls of running after the officers. -- And, if I may mention so delicate a subject, endeavour to check that little something, bordering on conceit and impertinence, which your lady possesses.''

``Have you any thing else to propose for my domestic felicity?''

``Oh! yes. -- Do let the portraits of your uncle and aunt Philips be placed in the gallery at Pemberley. Put them next to your great uncle, the judge. They are in the same profession, you know; only in different lines. As for your Elizabeth's picture, you must not attempt to have it taken, for what painter could do justice to those beautiful eyes?''
.


Again, going by the footnotes, the bit about the "same profession, only different lines" is a huge dig; there were only fifteen or so judges in all of England and they all had titles, whereas anyone with five year's apprenticeship could be a mere attorney; this is like saying that Darcy's great-uncle the NBA player is in the same profession as Elizabeth's uncle the grade-school basketball coach. Technically true, but painfully mocking.

quote:


At that moment they were met from another walk, by Mrs. Hurst and Elizabeth herself.

``I did not know that you intended to walk,'' said Miss Bingley, in some confusion, lest they had been overheard.

``You used us abominably ill,'' answered Mrs. Hurst, ``in running away without telling us that you were coming out.'' Then taking the disengaged arm of Mr. Darcy, she left Elizabeth to walk by herself. The path just admitted three.

Mr. Darcy felt their rudeness and immediately said, --

``This walk is not wide enough for our party. We had better go into the avenue.''

But Elizabeth, who had not the least inclination to remain with them, laughingly answered,

``No, no; stay where you are. -- You are charmingly group'd, and appear to uncommon advantage. The picturesque would be spoilt by admitting a fourth. Good bye.''

She then ran gaily off, rejoicing, as she rambled about, in the hope of being at home again in a day or two. Jane was already so much recovered as to intend leaving her room for a couple of hours that evening.

Apparently the bit about "charmingly grouped" comes from contemporary artistic theory -- a writer named William Gilpin had a theory that groups of three were picturesque, but groups of four weren't. This Elizabeth showing off her brains and reading here; Darcy as a reader might catch the reference, but the others probably wouldn't.

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound
Chapter Eleven is still more chitchat around Netherfield. Jane needs to hurry up and get better so we can move on.


Yay, she's finally getting better! She comes and joins everyone for the evening in chitchat, and Mr. Bingley is all attention.

quote:

He was full of joy and attention. The first half hour was spent in piling up the fire, lest she should suffer from the change of room; and she removed at his desire to the other side of the fireplace, that she might be farther from the door. He then sat down by her, and talked scarcely to any one else. Elizabeth, at work in the opposite corner, saw it all with great delight.

Such a nice boy!

Miss Bingley continues to try to flirt with Darcy but she's just not smart enough to handle him. Elizabeth is, though, as we start to see in this passage:

quote:

Miss Bingley made no answer; and soon afterwards got up and walked about the room. Her figure was elegant, and she walked well; -- but Darcy, at whom it was all aimed, was still inflexibly studious. In the desperation of her feelings she resolved on one effort more; and turning to Elizabeth, said,

``Miss Eliza Bennet, let me persuade you to follow my example, and take a turn about the room. -- I assure you it is very refreshing after sitting so long in one attitude.''

Elizabeth was surprised, but agreed to it immediately. Miss Bingley succeeded no less in the real object of her civility; Mr. Darcy looked up. He was as much awake to the novelty of attention in that quarter as Elizabeth herself could be, and unconsciously closed his book. He was directly invited to join their party, but he declined it, observing that he could imagine but two motives for their chusing to walk up and down the room together, with either of which motives his joining them would interfere. ``What could he mean? she was dying to know what could be his meaning'' -- and asked Elizabeth whether she could at all understand him?

``Not at all,'' was her answer; ``but depend upon it, he means to be severe on us, and our surest way of disappointing him will be to ask nothing about it.''

Miss Bingley, however, was incapable of disappointing Mr. Darcy in any thing, and persevered therefore in requiring an explanation of his two motives.

``I have not the smallest objection to explaining them,'' said he, as soon as she allowed him to speak. ``You either chuse this method of passing the evening because you are in each other's confidence, and have secret affairs to discuss, or because you are conscious that your figures appear to the greatest advantage in walking; -- if the first, I should be completely in your way; -- and if the second, I can admire you much better as I sit by the fire.''

``Oh! shocking!'' cried Miss Bingley. ``I never heard any thing so abominable. How shall we punish him for such a speech?''

Darcy saw right through what Miss Bingley was trying, and Elizabeth so saw it coming.

It wasn't too outlandish for Darcy to think that Miss Bingley wanted to show herself off by walking around the room -- Miss Bingley had gone to a fancy london school, and while there would have probably been taught deportment, complete with instruction on how a young lady could look most elegant while walking, sitting down, standing up, etc. Elizabeth would probably not have had such training, coming from the country, so this is Miss Bingley trying to show herself off well and make Elizabeth look awkward by comparison.

quote:

``Nothing so easy, if you have but the inclination,'' said Elizabeth. ``We can all plague and punish one another. Teaze him -- laugh at him. -- Intimate as you are, you must know how it is to be done.''

``But upon my honour I do not. I do assure you that my intimacy has not yet taught me that. Teaze calmness of temper and presence of mind! No, no -- I feel he may defy us there. And as to laughter, we will not expose ourselves, if you please, by attempting to laugh without a subject. Mr. Darcy may hug himself.''

``Mr. Darcy is not to be laughed at!'' cried Elizabeth. ``That is an uncommon advantage, and uncommon I hope it will continue, for it would be a great loss to me to have many such acquaintance. I dearly love a laugh.''

``Miss Bingley,'' said he, ``has given me credit for more than can be. The wisest and the best of men, nay, the wisest and best of their actions, may be rendered ridiculous by a person whose first object in life is a joke.''

``Certainly,'' replied Elizabeth -- ``there are such people, but I hope I am not one of them. I hope I never ridicule what is wise or good. Follies and nonsense, whims and inconsistencies do divert me, I own, and I laugh at them whenever I can. -- But these, I suppose, are precisely what you are without.''

``Perhaps that is not possible for any one. But it has been the study of my life to avoid those weaknesses which often expose a strong understanding to ridicule.''

``Such as vanity and pride.''

``Yes, vanity is a weakness indeed. But pride -- where there is a real superiority of mind, pride will be always under good regulation.''

Elizabeth turned away to hide a smile.

``Your examination of Mr. Darcy is over, I presume,'' said Miss Bingley; -- ``and pray what is the result?''

``I am perfectly convinced by it that Mr. Darcy has no defect. He owns it himself without disguise.''

``No'' -- said Darcy, ``I have made no such pretension. I have faults enough, but they are not, I hope, of understanding. My temper I dare not vouch for. -- It is I believe too little yielding -- certainly too little for the convenience of the world. I cannot forget the follies and vices of others so soon as I ought, nor their offences against myself. My feelings are not puffed about with every attempt to move them. My temper would perhaps be called resentful. -- My good opinion once lost is lost for ever.''

``That is a failing indeed!'' -- cried Elizabeth. ``Implacable resentment is a shade in a character. But you have chosen your fault well. -- I really cannot laugh at it; you are safe from me.''

``There is, I believe, in every disposition a tendency to some particular evil, a natural defect, which not even the best education can overcome.''

``And your defect is a propensity to hate every body.''

``And yours,'' he replied with a smile, ``is wilfully to misunderstand them.''

``Do let us have a little music,'' -- cried Miss Bingley, tired of a conversation in which she had no share. -- ``Louisa, you will not mind my waking Mr. Hurst.''

Her sister made not the smallest objection, and the piano-forte was opened, and Darcy, after a few moments recollection, was not sorry for it. He began to feel the danger of paying Elizabeth too much attention.


Elizabeth and Darcy spar with each other a bit, and discuss Pride some more. I think it's a natural tendency to want to say "Darcy is Pride and Elizabeth is Prejudice" or something like that and make the book binary, but every character in here has their own pride and their own prejudices. You almost start to feel sorry for Miss Bingley here because she's trying for Darcy so hard and she's just not smart enough to handle it. What the hell, Darcy? Why are you so into this nerdy farmgirl?

Darcy, for his part, is starting to realize that he could seriously fall for Elizabeth. And of course that Won't Do.

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


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Morbid Hound
Chapter Twelve is short.

Jane and Elizabeth leave and everyone but Mr. Bingley and Jane are glad of it. They've all been shut up together too goddam long and they're all sick of each other.

quote:

To Mr. Darcy it was welcome intelligence -- Elizabeth had been at Netherfield long enough. She attracted him more than he liked -- and Miss Bingley was uncivil to her, and more teazing than usual to himself. He wisely resolved to be particularly careful that no sign of admiration should now escape him, nothing that could elevate her with the hope of influencing his felicity; sensible that if such an idea had been suggested, his behaviour during the last day must have material weight in confirming or crushing it. Steady to his purpose, he scarcely spoke ten words to her through the whole of Saturday, and though they were at one time left by themselves for half an hour, he adhered most conscientiously to his book, and would not even look at her.

On Sunday, after morning service, the separation, so agreeable to almost all, took place. Miss Bingley's civility to Elizabeth increased at last very rapidly, as well as her affection for Jane; and when they parted, after assuring the latter of the pleasure it would always give her to see her either at Longbourn or Netherfield, and embracing her most tenderly, she even shook hands with the former. -- Elizabeth took leave of the whole party in the liveliest spirits.

Elizabeth's glad to be away from everybody, because she knows the Bingley women don't like her and thinks Darcy doesn't either; Miss Bingley is glad because she's sharp enough to be jealous of Elizabeth; Darcy is glad because he doesn't want to encourage Elizabeth (or, for that matter, himself) any further,and because all the jealousy is making Miss Bingley too much of a pain to deal with.

Walh Hara
May 11, 2012
I finally caught up (first read till chapter 12, now read your annotations) and it's crazy how many things I apparantly missed. I don't quite understand why Elizabeth still thinks Darcy dislikes her, but perhaps thats simply because of our point of view here being different from Elizabeth's.

Either way, I hope something interesting happens soon, because not that much happened so far.

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound

Walh Hara posted:

I finally caught up (first read till chapter 12, now read your annotations) and it's crazy how many things I apparantly missed. I don't quite understand why Elizabeth still thinks Darcy dislikes her, but perhaps thats simply because of our point of view here being different from Elizabeth's.

Either way, I hope something interesting happens soon, because not that much happened so far.

Heh, well, it is a slower-paced novel than a lot of other things we've read. "An elegant [novel], for a more civilized age," as Obi-Wan might put it. That said Austen is going to be adding more dramatic complications as we get further along though.

I'm learning a lot too as I do this re-read, check out the annotations, look up things I hadn't bothered to research before, etc. That's part of why I think Austen is such a challenging author for modern readers. She's deceptively straightforward. With someone like Faulkner or Joyce, it's really obvious when you aren't understanding something, and it's easy to tell when you need to go look up whatever bizarre random word-contortion they're using and figure out the references. With Austen, her language seems simple, and we think we understand her society, but really she's coming from a time a lot more alien than we might realize, and her language has a lot more layers to it than are at first apparent.

I think we're roughly at the 1-hour mark if you're watching the 1995 BBC miniseries, so seems like a good time to comment on that too. A few things I noticed:

-- The Bingley's servants have fancier attire than the Bennet family members.
-- They really played up the catty meanness of the Bingley sisters in this one; on screen they're overtly cruel to Jane in a way that they aren't in the text. Probably a decent change for the screen.
-- Everyone's performances are great. The charming characters are charming, the despicable ones are magnificently bad to the point that you love to hate them.
-- They're already giving us gratuitous hints of Darcy with his shirt off. What's up with that?
-- Watching it really helps the lesser Bennet sisters and other minor characters stay distinct -- much easier to keep Charlotte and Mary separate in my head, for example.

Hieronymous Alloy fucked around with this message at 19:04 on Sep 8, 2014

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound
Ok. Chapter 13.

A new character is introduced!

quote:


``I HOPE my dear,'' said Mr. Bennet to his wife as they were at breakfast the next morning, ``that you have ordered a good dinner to-day, because I have reason to expect an addition to our family party.''

. . . .

``It is not Mr. Bingley,'' said her husband; ``it is a person whom I never saw in the whole course of my life.''

This roused a general astonishment; and he had the pleasure of being eagerly questioned by his wife and five daughters at once.

After amusing himself some time with their curiosity, he thus explained. ``About a month ago I received this letter, and about a fortnight ago I answered it, for I thought it a case of some delicacy, and requiring early attention. It is from my cousin, Mr. Collins, who, when I am dead, may turn you all out of this house as soon as he pleases.''

``Oh! my dear,'' cried his wife, ``I cannot bear to hear that mentioned. Pray do not talk of that odious man. I do think it is the hardest thing in the world that your estate should be entailed away from your own children; and I am sure if I had been you, I should have tried long ago to do something or other about it.''

Jane and Elizabeth attempted to explain to her the nature of an entail. They had often attempted it before, but it was a subject on which Mrs. Bennet was beyond the reach of reason; and she continued to rail bitterly against the cruelty of settling an estate away from a family of five daughters, in favour of a man whom nobody cared anything about.

``It certainly is a most iniquitous affair,'' said Mr. Bennet, ``and nothing can clear Mr. Collins from the guilt of inheriting Longbourn. But if you will listen to his letter, you may perhaps be a little softened by his manner of expressing himself.''

So much packed in there; note how Mr. Bennett seems to think replying within a fortnight is a rapid response; note how painfully silly Mrs. Bennett is being.


But the letter itself deserves its own discussion. Listen to the way Collins just oooooozes himself across the page:

quote:

DEAR SIR,

THE disagreement subsisting between yourself and my late honoured father always gave me much uneasiness, and since I have had the misfortune to lose him I have frequently wished to heal the breach; but for some time I was kept back by my own doubts, fearing lest it might seem disrespectful to his memory for me to be on good terms with any one with whom it had always pleased him to be at variance.''

. . .

``My mind however is now made up on the subject, for having received ordination at Easter, I have been so fortunate as to be distinguished by the patronage of the Right Honourable Lady Catherine de Bourgh, widow of Sir Lewis de Bourgh, whose bounty and beneficence has preferred me to the valuable rectory of this parish, where it shall be my earnest endeavour to demean myself with grateful respect towards her Ladyship, and be ever ready to perform those rites and ceremonies which are instituted by the Church of England. As a clergyman, moreover, I feel it my duty to promote and establish the blessing of peace in all families within the reach of my influence; and on these grounds I flatter myself that my present overtures of good-will are highly commendable, and that the circumstance of my being next in the entail of Longbourn estate will be kindly overlooked on your side, and not lead you to reject the offered olive branch. I cannot be otherwise than concerned at being the means of injuring your amiable daughters, and beg leave to apologise for it, as well as to assure you of my readiness to make them every possible amends, -- but of this hereafter. If you should have no objection to receive me into your house, I propose myself the satisfaction of waiting on you and your family, Monday, November 18th, by four o'clock, and shall probably trespass on your hospitality till the Saturday se'nnight following, which I can do without any inconvenience, as Lady Catherine is far from objecting to my occasional absence on a Sunday, provided that some other clergyman is engaged to do the duty of the day. I remain, dear sir, with respectful compliments to your lady and daughters, your well-wisher and friend,

WILLIAM COLLINS.''

This is a dense letter. It might be one of the most painful humblebrags in western literature. It's horribly over-written; Collins is the sort of man who never uses a word of two syllables when he can substitute one of four syllables instead; the olive-branch metaphor is a thousand-year-old cliche. It also tells us a lot about Collins' patron, the "Right Honourable Lady Catherine de Bourgh"; that's a very specific title and form of address, and the "Right Honorable" and use of her first name ("Lady Catherine de Bourgh" instead of "Lady de Bourgh") together would allow a contemporary to deduce that she was the daughter of an Earl, i.e., of the peerage and one of the noblest families in Britain (according to The Annotated, there were only around 125 total individuals at that rank in all of England at the time).

The bit about " preferred me to the valuable rectory of this parish" means that Collins has been appointed to be the sitting rector of the parish. Since England had an official national church, rectors of the church had the right to receive tax revenues/tithes from their parish. About half the rectors were appointed by the church itself or by institutions, but the other half were appointed by local nobles or landowners. Such appointments could even be bought or sold, and since they amounted to paid lifetime positions, they could sell for quite a bit. They were also a lot scarcer than priests to fill them; again according to The Annotated, "only 20% of clergy obtained one within five years of ordination, while almost half never got one and had to work all their lives as underpaid assistants to those with positions." (If you were an exceptionally well-connected priest, you'd take more than one such position, and then essentially sublet out all the work to a vicar, or fill-in priest who actually, you know, gave the sermons and did all the actual church stuff). Nice work if you can get it, and Collins has gotten it, apparently by dint of extreme rear end-kissing. Hey, gotta get ahead somehow I guess.

We then get each family member's response to the letter -- note that they speak in order of precedence, by age and status:

quote:

``At four o'clock, therefore, we may expect this peacemaking gentleman,'' said Mr. Bennet, as he folded up the letter. ``He seems to be a most conscientious and polite young man, upon my word; and I doubt not will prove a valuable acquaintance, especially if Lady Catherine should be so indulgent as to let him come to us again.''

``There is some sense in what he says about the girls however; and if he is disposed to make them any amends, I shall not be the person to discourage him.''

``Though it is difficult,'' said Jane, ``to guess in what way he can mean to make us the atonement he thinks our due, the wish is certainly to his credit.''

Elizabeth was chiefly struck with his extraordinary deference for Lady Catherine, and his kind intention of christening, marrying, and burying his parishioners whenever it were required.

``He must be an oddity, I think,'' said she. ``I cannot make him out. -- There is something very pompous in his stile. -- And what can he mean by apologizing for being next in the entail? -- We cannot suppose he would help it, if he could. -- Can he be a sensible man, sir?''

``No, my dear; I think not. I have great hopes of finding him quite the reverse. There is a mixture of servility and self-importance in his letter, which promises well. I am impatient to see him.''

``In point of composition,'' said Mary, ``his letter does not seem defective. The idea of the olive branch perhaps is not wholly new, yet I think it is well expressed.''

To Catherine and Lydia, neither the letter nor its writer were in any degree interesting. It was next to impossible that their cousin should come in a scarlet coat, and it was now some weeks since they had received pleasure from the society of a man in any other colour. As for their mother, Mr. Collins's letter had done away much of her ill-will, and she was preparing to see him with a degree of composure which astonished her husband and daughters.

Jane's comment is kind; Elizabeth's is sharply sarcastic; Mary is boringly rational; Catherine and Lydia are, again, shallow tramps.


He comes to dinner and there's some conversation.

quote:

`You are very kind, sir, I am sure; and I wish with all my heart it may prove so; for else they will be destitute enough. Things are settled so oddly.''

``You allude, perhaps, to the entail of this estate.''

``Ah! sir, I do indeed. It is a grievous affair to my poor girls, you must confess. Not that I mean to find fault with you, for such things, I know, are all chance in this world. There is no knowing how estates will go when once they come to be entailed.''

``I am very sensible, madam, of the hardship to my fair cousins, -- and could say much on the subject, but that I am cautious of appearing forward and precipitate. But I can assure the young ladies that I come prepared to admire them. At present I will not say more, but perhaps when we are better acquainted --''

He was interrupted by a summons to dinner; and the girls smiled on each other. They were not the only objects of Mr. Collins's admiration. The hall, the dining-room, and all its furniture were examined and praised; and his commendation of every thing would have touched Mrs. Bennet's heart, but for the mortifying supposition of his viewing it all as his own future property. The dinner too, in its turn, was highly admired; and he begged to know to which of his fair cousins, the excellence of its cookery was owing. But here he was set right by Mrs. Bennet, who assured him with some asperity that they were very well able to keep a good cook, and that her daughters had nothing to do in the kitchen. He begged pardon for having displeased her. In a softened tone she declared herself not at all offended; but he continued to apologise for about a quarter of an hour.

Mrs. Bennet is of course being an idiot again; entails were always carefully drawn up by lawyers and incredibly predictable to anyone who bothered to try to understand them. Collins is pretty clearly hinting that he's looking for a wife among the Bennet daughters, and trying to find out which of them can cook; Mrs. Bennett completely misses the point and starts trying to brag about how they're all too high-class to bother with that kind of thing, which is exactly what she shouldn't be doing if she's trying to get them married off. Then he apologizes for another quarter of an hour, because he's an obsequious, sycophantic, gormless . . .blah.

Austen does a really great job of making him the kind of character you love to hate. He's not even a bad person and I already want to slap him. That's an achievement for you. Any ordinary writer can make you hate someone who kicks a puppy or does something obviously evil; making you hate a nice, polite guy who's apparently trying to do the right thing, that takes characterization, that takes artistry. But Collins is just so slimy it's almost impossible not to hate him.

Hieronymous Alloy fucked around with this message at 04:21 on Sep 9, 2014

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


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Morbid Hound
Chapter 14.

Mr. Bennet spends some time after dinner trolling Collins, just to see what crazy rear end-kissing thing he can get Collins to say. He is, of course, incredibly successful at this.

quote:


DURING dinner, Mr. Bennet scarcely spoke at all; but when the servants were withdrawn, he thought it time to have some conversation with his guest, and therefore started a subject in which he expected him to shine, by observing that he seemed very fortunate in his patroness. Lady Catherine de Bourgh's attention to his wishes, and consideration for his comfort, appeared very remarkable. Mr. Bennet could not have chosen better. Mr. Collins was eloquent in her praise. The subject elevated him to more than usual solemnity of manner, and with a most important aspect he protested that he had never in his life witnessed such behaviour in a person of rank -- such affability and condescension, as he had himself experienced from Lady Catherine. She had been graciously pleased to approve of both the discourses which he had already had the honour of preaching before her. She had also asked him twice to dine at Rosings, and had sent for him only the Saturday before, to make up her pool of quadrille in the evening. Lady Catherine was reckoned proud by many people he knew, but he had never seen any thing but affability in her. She had always spoken to him as she would to any other gentleman; she made not the smallest objection to his joining in the society of the neighbourhood, nor to his leaving his parish occasionally for a week or two, to visit his relations. She had even condescended to advise him to marry as soon as he could, provided he chose with discretion; and had once paid him a visit in his humble parsonage; where she had perfectly approved all the alterations he had been making, and had even vouchsafed to suggest some herself, -- some shelves in the closets up stairs.

God, this guy is a toady. He might as well be bragging about the time he was allowed to kiss her old-lady feet.

quote:

``She has one only daughter, the heiress of Rosings, and of very extensive property.''

``Ah!'' cried Mrs. Bennet, shaking her head, ``then she is better off than many girls. And what sort of young lady is she? is she handsome?''

``She is a most charming young lady indeed. Lady Catherine herself says that in point of true beauty, Miss De Bourgh is far superior to the handsomest of her sex; because there is that in her features which marks the young woman of distinguished birth. She is unfortunately of a sickly constitution, which has prevented her making that progress in many accomplishments which she could not otherwise have failed of; as I am informed by the lady who superintended her education, and who still resides with them. But she is perfectly amiable, and often condescends to drive by my humble abode in her little phaeton and ponies.''

``Has she been presented? I do not remember her name among the ladies at court.''

``Her indifferent state of health unhappily prevents her being in town; and by that means, as I told Lady Catherine myself one day, has deprived the British court of its brightest ornament.

Heh. Notice how Collins doesn't actually answer Mr. Bennett's question. Translation: she ain't pretty, and she's probably pretty sickly, perhaps even to the point where the family might be embarrassed to have her seen in public. "Presented at Court" was a yearly ceremony, the ancestor of the debutante ball -- young women of Society would be presented to the Queen and it was all very formal, with complex rules on who had the right to be presented and who was excluded. (As above, a barrister's wife could be presented; a solicitor's wife couldn't). Miss de Bourgh would certainly have the rank to be presented, so there must be some reason why she hasn't been, and Mr. Bennett was angling to find out.

quote:

``You judge very properly,'' said Mr. Bennet, ``and it is happy for you that you possess the talent of flattering with delicacy. May I ask whether these pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse of the moment, or are the result of previous study?''

``They arise chiefly from what is passing at the time, and though I sometimes amuse myself with suggesting and arranging such little elegant compliments as may be adapted to ordinary occasions, I always wish to give them as unstudied an air as possible.''

Mr. Bennet's expectations were fully answered. His cousin was as absurd as he had hoped, and he listened to him with the keenest enjoyment, maintaining at the same time the most resolute composure of countenance, and, except in an occasional glance at Elizabeth, requiring no partner in his pleasure.

Troll Achieved.

But after a while even trolling is boring -- this guy's just too easy -- so Mr. Bennett suggests something else.

quote:

By tea-time, however, the dose had been enough, and Mr. Bennet was glad to take his guest into the drawing-room again, and when tea was over, glad to invite him to read aloud to the ladies. Mr. Collins readily assented, and a book was produced; but on beholding it (for every thing announced it to be from a circulating library), he started back, and begging pardon, protested that he never read novels. -- Kitty stared at him, and Lydia exclaimed. -- Other books were produced, and after some deliberation he chose Fordyce's Sermons. Lydia gaped as he opened the volume, and before he had, with very monotonous solemnity, read three pages, she interrupted him with,

``Do you know, mama, that my uncle Philips talks of turning away Richard, and if he does, Colonel Forster will hire him. My aunt told me so herself on Saturday. I shall walk to Meryton to-morrow to hear more about it, and to ask when Mr. Denny comes back from town.''

Lydia was bid by her two eldest sisters to hold her tongue; but Mr. Collins, much offended, laid aside his book, and said,

``I have often observed how little young ladies are interested by books of a serious stamp, though written solely for their benefit. It amazes me, I confess; -- for certainly, there can be nothing so advantageous to them as instruction. But I will no longer importune my young cousin.''

Then turning to Mr. Bennet, he offered himself as his antagonist at backgammon. Mr. Bennet accepted the challenge, observing that he acted very wisely in leaving the girls to their own trifling amusements. Mrs. Bennet and her daughters apologised most civilly for Lydia's interruption, and promised that it should not occur again, if he would resume his book; but Mr. Collins, after assuring them that he bore his young cousin no ill will, and should never resent her behaviour as any affront, seated himself at another table with Mr. Bennet, and prepared for backgammon.

A scorn of novels was a thing then. Pretty much any book on proper lady's conduct at the time would have roundly denounced novel-reading. When they talked about how young ladies should be well-read, that meant books of history, philosophy, and religion, morally uplifting stuff, not that romantic trash. So it's typical for Mr. Collins, especially as a clergyman, to scorn the things, but good lord does it make him look pompous.

The Annotated also points out that apparently the book he does choose -- Fordyce's sermons -- was strongly moralistic, included "a picture of ideal womanhood which stands opposed to the character of Lydia Bennett in almost every way," and had this to say about novels: "which we are assured (for we have not read them) are in their nature so shameful, in their tendency so pestiferous, and contain such rank treason against the royalty of Virtue, such horrible violation of all decorum, that she who can bear to peruse them must in her soul be a prostitute, let her reputation in life be what it will . . ."

It's also interesting to see Collin's reaction after the interruption. He says he's not offended, but he acts completely offended. He's a hypocrite.

Hieronymous Alloy fucked around with this message at 13:47 on Sep 9, 2014

Molybdenum
Jun 25, 2007
Melting Point ~2622C
I read this a few months back along with Sense & Sensibility. I remember Elizabeth getting in some pretty slick burns on people in Pride & Prejudice

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound
Chapter 15.

The chapter opens with some more insights from the narrator as to the character of Mr. Collins, and then he makes a Decision.

quote:

MR. COLLINS was not a sensible man, and the deficiency of nature had been but little assisted by education or society; the greatest part of his life having been spent under the guidance of an illiterate and miserly father; and though he belonged to one of the universities, he had merely kept the necessary terms, without forming at it any useful acquaintance.

In other words, he didn't actually bother to study or learn anything at the university; he just stayed there long enough to fill the technical requirements. The exams weren't exactly strict, you just had to bother to show up.

quote:

. . . Having now a good house and very sufficient income, he intended to marry; and in seeking a reconciliation with the Longbourn family he had a wife in view, as he meant to chuse one of the daughters, if he found them as handsome and amiable as they were represented by common report. This was his plan of amends -- of atonement -- for inheriting their father's estate; and he thought it an excellent one, full of eligibility and suitableness, and excessively generous and disinterested on his own part.

His plan did not vary on seeing them. -- Miss Bennet's lovely face confirmed his views, and established all his strictest notions of what was due to seniority; and for the first evening she was his settled choice. The next morning, however, made an alteration; for in a quarter of an hour's tęte-ŕ-tęte with Mrs. Bennet before breakfast, a conversation beginning with his parsonage-house, and leading naturally to the avowal of his hopes that a mistress for it might be found at Longbourn, produced from her, amid very complaisant smiles and general encouragement, a caution against the very Jane he had fixed on. -- ``As to her younger daughters she could not take upon her to say -- she could not positively answer -- but she did not know of any prepossession; -- her eldest daughter, she must just mention -- she felt it incumbent on her to hint, was likely to be very soon engaged.''

Mr. Collins had only to change from Jane to Elizabeth -- and it was soon done -- done while Mrs. Bennet was stirring the fire. Elizabeth, equally next to Jane in birth and beauty, succeeded her of course.


Nice to see Mr. Collins has his mind made up that easily. Clearly, he's a romantic soul.

quote:

Lydia's intention of walking to Meryton was not forgotten; every sister except Mary agreed to go with her; and Mr. Collins was to attend them, at the request of Mr. Bennet, who was most anxious to get rid of him, and have his library to himself; for thither Mr. Collins had followed him after breakfast, and there he would continue, nominally engaged with one of the largest folios in the collection, but really talking to Mr. Bennet, with little cessation, of his house and garden at Hunsford. Such doings discomposed Mr. Bennet exceedingly. In his library he had been always sure of leisure and tranquillity; and though prepared, as he told Elizabeth, to meet with folly and conceit in every other room in the house, he was used to be free from them there; his civility, therefore, was most prompt in inviting Mr. Collins to join his daughters in their walk; and Mr. Collins, being in fact much better fitted for a walker than a reader, was extremely well pleased to close his large book, and go.

According to The Annotated, during this period large folio editions would likely have only been reference books -- in other words, Collins just picked up a big book to look impressive, and probably wasn't actually reading it.

Anyway, the girls and Mr. Collins take a walk into town, giving Mr. Bennett a much needed-break. Once they're in town, some stuff happens.

quote:

In pompous nothings on his side, and civil assents on that of his cousins, their time passed till they entered Meryton. The attention of the younger ones was then no longer to be gained by him. Their eyes were immediately wandering up in the street in quest of the officers, and nothing less than a very smart bonnet indeed, or a really new muslin in a shop window, could recall them.

quote:

But the attention of every lady was soon caught by a young man, whom they had never seen before, of most gentlemanlike appearance, walking with an officer on the other side of the way. The officer was the very Mr. Denny, concerning whose return from London Lydia came to inquire, and he bowed as they passed. All were struck with the stranger's air, all wondered who he could be, and Kitty and Lydia, determined if possible to find out, led the way across the street, under pretence of wanting something in an opposite shop, and fortunately had just gained the pavement when the two gentlemen, turning back, had reached the same spot. Mr. Denny addressed them directly, and entreated permission to introduce his friend, Mr. Wickham, who had returned with him the day before from town, and he was happy to say, had accepted a commission in their corps. This was exactly as it should be; for the young man wanted only regimentals to make him completely charming. His appearance was greatly in his favour; he had all the best part of beauty -- a fine countenance, a good figure, and very pleasing address.

A New Suitor Approaches -- buut

quote:

The introduction was followed up on his side by a happy readiness of conversation -- a readiness at the same time perfectly correct and unassuming; and the whole party were still standing and talking together very agreeably, when the sound of horses drew their notice, and Darcy and Bingley were seen riding down the street. On distinguishing the ladies of the group, the two gentlemen came directly towards them, and began the usual civilities. Bingley was the principal spokesman, and Miss Bennet the principal object. He was then, he said, on his way to Longbourn on purpose to inquire after her. Mr. Darcy corroborated it with a bow, and was beginning to determine not to fix his eyes on Elizabeth, when they were suddenly arrested by the sight of the stranger, and Elizabeth happening to see the countenance of both as they looked at each other, was all astonishment at the effect of the meeting. Both changed colour, one looked white, the other red. Mr. Wickham, after a few moments, touched his hat -- a salutation which Mr. Darcy just deigned to return. What could be the meaning of it? -- It was impossible to imagine; it was impossible not to long to know.

A SECRET!

But we don't get to find out any more right away; everyone walks over to visit Mrs. Philips, who (I think?) is Mrs. Bennett's sister who married the attorney in Meryton.

quote:

Mrs. Philips was always glad to see her nieces, and the two eldest, from their recent absence, were particularly welcome, and she was eagerly expressing her surprise at their sudden return home, which, as their own carriage had not fetched them, she should have known nothing about, if she had not happened to see Mr. Jones's shop boy in the street, who had told her that they were not to send any more draughts to Netherfield because the Miss Bennets were come away, when her civility was claimed towards Mr. Collins by Jane's introduction of him. She received him with her very best politeness, which he returned with as much more, apologising for his intrusion without any previous acquaintance with her, which he could not help flattering himself, however, might be justified by his relationship to the young ladies who introduced him to her notice. Mrs. Philips was quite awed by such an excess of good breeding; but her contemplation of one stranger was soon put an end to by exclamations and inquiries about the other, of whom, however, she could only tell her nieces what they already knew, that Mr. Denny had brought him from London, and that he was to have a lieutenant's commission in the ----shire. She had been watching him the last hour, she said, as he walked up and down the street, and had Mr. Wickham appeared, Kitty and Lydia would certainly have continued the occupation, but unluckily no one passed the windows now except a few of the officers, who in comparison with the stranger, were become ``stupid, disagreeable fellows.'' Some of them were to dine with the Philipses the next day, and their aunt promised to make her husband call on Mr. Wickham, and give him an invitation also, if the family from Longbourn would come in the evening. This was agreed to, and Mrs. Philips protested that they would have a nice comfortable noisy game of lottery tickets, and a little bit of hot supper afterwards. The prospect of such delights was very cheering, and they parted in mutual good spirits. Mr. Collins repeated his apologies in quitting the room, and was assured with unwearying civility that they were perfectly needless.

Apparently "lottery tickets" was a really simple card game; similarly, offering a "supper" instead of a "dinner" was something only a very casual, unfashionable family would have done. In another of Austen's novels a snobbish character sneers "we never eat suppers."

Watch how the moment Austen starts talking about Mr. Collins all the words start spawning extra syllables.

quote:

As they walked home, Elizabeth related to Jane what she had seen pass between the two gentlemen; but though Jane would have defended either or both, had they appeared to be wrong, she could no more explain such behaviour than her sister.

Mr. Collins, on his return, highly gratified Mrs. Bennet by admiring Mrs. Philips's manners and politeness. He protested that except Lady Catherine and her daughter, he had never seen a more elegant woman; for she had not only received him with the utmost civility, but had even pointedly included him in her invitation for the next evening, although utterly unknown to her before. Something he supposed might be attributed to his connection with them, but yet he had never met with so much attention in the whole course of his life.

Is Collins forgetting all the women he's talking to right then, and perhaps Mrs. Bennett? This guy is loving ludicrous. Slap him. Please someone slap him now. Well, yesterday by 200 years. That's how long ago he needed to be slapped.

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound
Chapter 16

Collins and the girls all go to visit Mr. & Mrs. Phillips in Meryton. They arrive and Collins is promptly obnoxious and pompous.

quote:

Mr. Collins was at leisure to look around him and admire, and he was so much struck with the size and furniture of the apartment, that he declared he might almost have supposed himself in the small summer breakfast parlour at Rosings; a comparison that did not at first convey much gratification; but when Mrs. Philips understood from him what Rosings was, and who was its proprietor, when she had listened to the description of only one of Lady Catherine's drawing-rooms, and found that the chimney-piece alone had cost eight hundred pounds,[quote]. "Chimney Piece" == mantelpiece. Remember, annual average salary, 30 pounds.

The girls get bored.

[quote]To the girls, who could not listen to their cousin, and who had nothing to do but to wish for an instrument, and examine their own indifferent imitations of china on the mantlepiece, the interval of waiting appeared very long.
. "Wish for an instrument" means there's no piano or harpsichord so there's no music; "imitations of china" means fake British imitations of imported Chinese porcelain, possibly with attempts at Chinese designs on it. (Europeans at the time didn't know how to make quality porcelain, it had to be imported from China, and the British attempts at porcelain were particularly bad). These, again, are indications that the Philips aren't gentry, they don't have any of the creature comforts.

Anyway, the important thing is that that new sexy officer has arrived.

quote:

The gentlemen did approach; and when Mr. Wickham walked into the room, Elizabeth felt that she had neither been seeing him before, nor thinking of him since, with the smallest degree of unreasonable admiration. The officers of the ----shire were in general a very creditable, gentlemanlike set, and the best of them were of the present party; but Mr. Wickham was as far beyond them all in person, countenance, air, and walk, as they were superior to the broad-faced stuffy uncle Philips, breathing port wine, who followed them into the room.

Mr. Wickham was the happy man towards whom almost every female eye was turned, and Elizabeth was the happy woman by whom he finally seated himself; and the agreeable manner in which he immediately fell into conversation, though it was only on its being a wet night, and on the probability of a rainy season, made her feel that the commonest, dullest, most threadbare topic might be rendered interesting by the skill of the speaker.

Mr. Phillips is apparently already drunk and wanders off, and everyone else is playing card games, so Elizabeth gets a chance to talk to the handsome Mr. Wickham. Of course she wants to know about THE MYSTERY between him and Darcy, but as a polite properly raised young girl, she's not one to go prying into other people's scandals. It's none of her business so she can't ask without seeming horribly forward and rude.

Fortunately, Mr. Wickham doesn't share her scruples; even though he's just met Elizabeth that day, he's perfectly happy to air his laundry to her.

quote:

Mr. Wickham was therefore at leisure to talk to Elizabeth, and she was very willing to hear him, though what she chiefly wished to hear she could not hope to be told, the history of his acquaintance with Mr. Darcy. She dared not even mention that gentleman. Her curiosity however was unexpectedly relieved. Mr. Wickham began the subject himself. He inquired how far Netherfield was from Meryton; and, after receiving her answer, asked in an hesitating manner how long Mr. Darcy had been staying there.

``About a month,'' said Elizabeth; and then, unwilling to let the subject drop, added, ``He is a man of very large property in Derbyshire, I understand.''

``Yes,'' replied Wickham; -- ``his estate there is a noble one. A clear ten thousand per annum. You could not have met with a person more capable of giving you certain information on that head than myself -- for I have been connected with his family in a particular manner from my infancy.''

Elizabeth could not but look surprised.

``You may well be surprised, Miss Bennet, at such an assertion, after seeing, as you probably might, the very cold manner of our meeting yesterday. -- Are you much acquainted with Mr. Darcy?''

``As much as I ever wish to be,'' cried Elizabeth warmly, -- ``I have spent four days in the same house with him, and I think him very disagreeable.''

``I have no right to give my opinion,'' said Wickham, ``as to his being agreeable or otherwise. I am not qualified to form one. I have known him too long and to well to be a fair judge. It is impossible for me to be impartial. But I believe your opinion of him would in general astonish -- and perhaps you would not express it quite so strongly anywhere else. -- Here you are in your own family.''

Fortunately for the plot and the gossips of Meryton, Mr. Wickham proceeds to give his own opinion.

quote:

``Upon my word I say no more here than I might say in any house in the neighbourhood, except Netherfield. He is not at all liked in Hertfordshire. Every body is disgusted with his pride. You will not find him more favourably spoken of by any one.''

``I cannot pretend to be sorry,'' said Wickham, after a short interruption, ``that he or that any man should not be estimated beyond their deserts; but with him I believe it does not often happen. The world is blinded by his fortune and consequence, or frightened by his high and imposing manners, and sees him only as he chuses to be seen.''

``I should take him, even on my slight acquaintance, to be an ill-tempered man.'' Wickham only shook his head.

``I wonder,'' said he, at the next opportunity of speaking, ``whether he is likely to be in this country much longer.''

``I do not at all know; but I heard nothing of his going away when I was at Netherfield. I hope your plans in favour of the ----shire will not be affected by his being in the neighbourhood.''

``Oh! no -- it is not for me to be driven away by Mr. Darcy. If he wishes to avoid seeing me, he must go. We are not on friendly terms, and it always gives me pain to meet him, but I have no reason for avoiding him but what I might proclaim to all the world; a sense of very great ill-usage, and most painful regrets at his being what he is. His father, Miss Bennet, the late Mr. Darcy, was one of the best men that ever breathed, and the truest friend I ever had; and I can never be in company with this Mr. Darcy without being grieved to the soul by a thousand tender recollections. His behaviour to myself has been scandalous; but I verily believe I could forgive him any thing and every thing, rather than his disappointing the hopes and disgracing the memory of his father.''

Elizabeth found the interest of the subject increase, and listened with all her heart; but the delicacy of it prevented farther inquiry.

I shan't be a gossip! I shan't! Oh but what happened next

quote:

Mr. Wickham began to speak on more general topics, Meryton, the neighbourhood, the society, appearing highly pleased with all that he had yet seen, and speaking of the latter especially, with gentle but very intelligible gallantry.

``It was the prospect of constant society, and good society,'' he added, ``which was my chief inducement to enter the ----shire. I knew it to be a most respectable, agreeable corps, and my friend Denny tempted me farther by his account of their present quarters, and the very great attentions and excellent acquaintance Meryton had procured them. Society, I own, is necessary to me. I have been a disappointed man, and my spirits will not bear solitude. I must have employment and society. A military life is not what I was intended for, but circumstances have now made it eligible. The church ought to have been my profession -- I was brought up for the church, and I should at this time have been in possession of a most valuable living, had it pleased the gentleman we were speaking of just now.''

``Indeed!''

``Yes -- the late Mr. Darcy bequeathed me the next presentation of the best living in his gift. He was my godfather, and excessively attached to me. I cannot do justice to his kindness. He meant to provide for me amply, and thought he had done it; but when the living fell, it was given elsewhere.''

``Good heavens!'' cried Elizabeth; ``but how could that be? -- How could his will be disregarded? -- Why did not you seek legal redress?''

``There was just such an informality in the terms of the bequest as to give me no hope from law. A man of honour could not have doubted the intention, but Mr. Darcy chose to doubt it -- or to treat it as a merely conditional recommendation, and to assert that I had forfeited all claim to it by extravagance, imprudence, in short any thing or nothing. Certain it is, that the living became vacant two years ago, exactly as I was of an age to hold it, and that it was given to another man; and no less certain is it, that I cannot accuse myself of having really done any thing to deserve to lose it. I have a warm, unguarded temper, and I may perhaps have sometimes spoken my opinion of him, and to him, too freely. I can recall nothing worse. But the fact is, that we are very different sort of men, and that he hates me.''

``This is quite shocking! -- He deserves to be publicly disgraced.''

``Some time or other he will be -- but it shall not be by me. Till I can forget his father, I can never defy or expose him.''

The "living" they're talking about here is one of the rectory posts I was talking about in Chapter 13 -- basically, legally appointed to be the rector of a parish along with the resulting rights to tax/tithe revenue. It's a shocking cut because not getting that living basically means Wickham has been shut out of the gentry -- church livings like that were much fought over, expensive as hell, and you would never, ever get them without great connections or spending a bunch of money. So Wickham didn't have any other options for a gentlemanly career short of the militia (which was basically the only place he could become an officer at his age without connections or buying a commission; to be an officer in the Navy he would have had to have started much younger).

quote:

Elizabeth honoured him for such feelings, and thought him handsomer than ever as he expressed them.

``But what,'' said she after a pause, ``can have been his motive? -- what can have induced him to behave so cruelly?''

``A thorough, determined dislike of me -- a dislike which I cannot but attribute in some measure to jealousy. Had the late Mr. Darcy liked me less, his son might have borne with me better; but his father's uncommon attachment to me, irritated him I believe very early in life. He had not a temper to bear the sort of competition in which we stood -- the sort of preference which was often given me.''

``I had not thought Mr. Darcy so bad as this -- though I have never liked him, I had not thought so very ill of him -- I had supposed him to be despising his fellow-creatures in general, but did not suspect him of descending to such malicious revenge, such injustice, such inhumanity as this!''

After a few minutes reflection, however, she continued, ``I do remember his boasting one day, at Netherfield, of the implacability of his resentments, of his having an unforgiving temper. His disposition must be dreadful.''

``I will not trust myself on the subject,'' replied Wickham, ``I can hardly be just to him.''

It's interesting how Wickham keeps repeating that he's an unreliable narrator here. Elizabeth is having a hard time believing him, but Mr. Wickham is so charming, and Mr. Darcy sure did seem like an rear end in a top hat, so . . .

quote:

Elizabeth was again deep in thought, and after a time exclaimed, ``To treat in such a manner, the godson, the friend, the favourite of his father!'' -- She could have added, ``A young man too, like you, whose very countenance may vouch for your being amiable'' -- but she contented herself with ``And one, too, who had probably been his own companion from childhood, connected together, as I think you said, in the closest manner!''

``We were born in the same parish, within the same park, the greatest part of our youth was passed together; inmates of the same house, sharing the same amusements, objects of the same parental care. My father began life in the profession which your uncle, Mr. Philips, appears to do so much credit to -- but he gave up every thing to be of use to the late Mr. Darcy, and devoted all his time to the care of the Pemberley property. He was most highly esteemed by Mr. Darcy, a most intimate, confidential friend. Mr. Darcy often acknowledged. himself to be under the greatest obligations to my father's active superintendance, and when immediately before my father's death, Mr. Darcy gave him a voluntary promise of providing for me, I am convinced that he felt it to be as much a debt of gratitude to him, as of affection to myself.''

``How strange!'' cried Elizabeth. ``How abominable! -- I wonder that the very pride of this Mr. Darcy has not made him just to you! -- If from no better motive, that he should not have been too proud to be dishonest, -- for dishonesty I must call it.''

``It is wonderful,'' -- replied Wickham, -- ``for almost all his actions may be traced to pride; -- and pride has often been his best friend. It has connected him nearer with virtue than any other feeling. But we are none of us consistent; and in his behaviour to me, there were stronger impulses even than pride.''

. . .

After many pauses and many trials of other subjects, Elizabeth could not help reverting once more to the first, and saying,

``I am astonished at his intimacy with Mr. Bingley! How can Mr. Bingley, who seems good humour itself, and is, I really believe, truly amiable, be in friendship with such a man? How can they suit each other? -- Do you know Mr. Bingley?''

``Not at all.''

``He is a sweet tempered, amiable, charming man. He cannot know what Mr. Darcy is.''

``Probably not; -- but Mr. Darcy can please where he chuses. He does not want abilities. He can be a conversible companion if he thinks it worth his while. Among those who are at all his equals in consequence, he is a very different man from what he is to the less prosperous. His pride never deserts him; but with the rich, he is liberal-minded, just, sincere, rational, honourable, and perhaps agreeable, -- allowing something for fortune and figure.''

Elizabeth is pretty good at spotting the reasons that Wickham's story doesn't make sense, but she wants to believe it. Is she right, or is she just rationalizing?

Their little chat finishes up with the card game, and Collins is pompous as ever.

quote:

``I know very well, madam,'' said he, ``that when persons sit down to a card table, they must take their chance of these things, -- and happily I am not in such circumstances as to make five shillings any object. There are undoubtedly many who could not say the same, but thanks to Lady Catherine de Bourgh, I am removed far beyond the necessity of regarding little matters.''

Five shillings is a small amount of money but not an utterly trivial one -- about a quarter pound total; I'm not sure if Collins is bragging about his wealth or trying to laugh off what are actually significant losses to him or both. The chance mention piques Wickham's interest though and we get some more exposition.

quote:

Mr. Wickham's attention was caught; and after observing Mr. Collins for a few moments, he asked Elizabeth in a low voice whether her relation were very intimately acquainted with the family of de Bourgh.

``Lady Catherine de Bourgh,'' she replied, ``has very lately given him a living. I hardly know how Mr. Collins was first introduced to her notice, but he certainly has not known her long.''

``You know of course that Lady Catherine de Bourgh and Lady Anne Darcy were sisters; consequently that she is aunt to the present Mr. Darcy.''

``No, indeed, I did not. -- I knew nothing at all of Lady Catherine's connections. I never heard of her existence till the day before yesterday.''

``Her daughter, Miss de Bourgh, will have a very large fortune, and it is believed that she and her cousin will unite the two estates.''

This information made Elizabeth smile, as she thought of poor Miss Bingley. Vain indeed must be all her attentions, vain and useless her affection for his sister and her praise of himself, if he were already self-destined to another.

So Darcy is already slated to marry the sickly, uncomely Miss DeBourgh that Collins was prating about a few chapters ago.

The party draws to a close, and

quote:

Elizabeth allowed that he had given a very rational account of it, and they continued talking together with mutual satisfaction till supper put an end to cards; and gave the rest of the ladies their share of Mr. Wickham's attentions. There could be no conversation in the noise of Mrs. Philips's supper party, but his manners recommended him to every body. Whatever he said, was said well; and whatever he did, done gracefully. Elizabeth went away with her head full of him. She could think of nothing but of Mr. Wickham, and of what he had told her, all the way home; but there was not time for her even to mention his name as they went, for neither Lydia nor Mr. Collins were once silent
.

Oh he was so dreamy and such gossip oh my can it be true oh my

paradoxGentleman
Dec 10, 2013

wheres the jester, I could do with some pointless nonsense right about now

Thank you very much for taking the time to explain the context to all of these lines. I am much further into the book and I missed three quarters of these references.

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound

paradoxGentleman posted:

Thank you very much for taking the time to explain the context to all of these lines. I am much further into the book and I missed three quarters of these references.

Thanks!

I know I'm falling behind a bit but it takes a fair bit of time for each post, and the chapters are getting longer. I should be able to knock out a bunch this weekend.

Popular Human
Jul 17, 2005

and if it's a lie, terrorists made me say it

Hieronymous Alloy posted:

Thanks!

I know I'm falling behind a bit but it takes a fair bit of time for each post, and the chapters are getting longer. I should be able to knock out a bunch this weekend.

No worries - hell, I only just started the book today, so I appreciate having these to wade through. Thanks!

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound
Chapter 17

Elizabeth goes back to Jane and shares this hot juicy gossip. Jane is so nice that she has a hard time believing it.

quote:

ELIZABETH related to Jane the next day, what had passed between Mr. Wickham and herself. Jane listened with astonishment and concern; -- she knew not how to believe that Mr. Darcy could be so unworthy of Mr. Bingley's regard; and yet, it was not in her nature to question the veracity of a young man of such amiable appearance as Wickham. -- The possibility of his having really endured such unkindness, was enough to interest all her tender feelings; and nothing therefore remained to be done, but to think well of them both, to defend the conduct of each, and throw into the account of accident or mistake, whatever could not be otherwise explained.

``They have both,'' said she, ``been deceived, I dare say, in some way or other, of which we can form no idea. Interested people have perhaps misrepresented each to the other. It is, in short, impossible for us to conjecture the causes or circumstances which may have alienated them, without actual blame on either side.''

``Very true, indeed; -- and now, my dear Jane, what have you got to say in behalf of the interested people who have probably been concerned in the business? -- Do clear them too, or we shall be obliged to think ill of somebody.''

``Laugh as much as you chuse, but you will not laugh me out of my opinion. My dearest Lizzy, do but consider in what a disgraceful light it places Mr. Darcy, to be treating his father's favourite in such a manner, -- one, whom his father had promised to provide for. -- It is impossible. No man of common humanity, no man who had any value for his character, could be capable of it. Can his most intimate friends be so excessively deceived in him? oh! no.''

``I can much more easily believe Mr. Bingley's being imposed on, than that Mr. Wickham should invent such a history of himself as he gave me last night; names, facts, every thing mentioned without ceremony. -- If it be not so, let Mr. Darcy contradict it. Besides, there was truth in his looks.''

``It is difficult indeed -- it is distressing. -- One does not know what to think.''

``I beg your pardon; -- one knows exactly what to think.''

But Jane could think with certainty on only one point, -- that Mr. Bingley, if he had been imposed on, would have much to suffer when the affair became public.

This little dialogue shows Jane's and Elizabeth's character in interesting ways. Jane is so convinced of the best in everyone that she's almost turning a blind eye to the facts; conversely, though, Elizabeth is giving Wickham a lot more credit than he deserves --- Wickham was actually really vague on important details, and Darcy can't contradict it because he isn't there (he might also think of such denials as beneath his dignity). Why is Elizabeth doing this? Well, "there was truth in his looks." He so pretty!

One thing I just realized is that I don't think "Prejudice" had its modern, wholly negative connotation when this book was written. Both Jane and Elizabeth are making hasty judgments here, for different reasons and in different ways.

Anyway, what was that about a ball?

quote:

The two young ladies were summoned from the shrubbery where this conversation passed, by the arrival of some of the very persons of whom they had been speaking; Mr. Bingley and his sisters came to give their personal invitation for the long expected ball at Netherfield, which was fixed for the following Tuesday. The two ladies were delighted to see their dear friend again, called it an age since they had met, and repeatedly asked what she had been doing with herself since their separation. To the rest of the family they paid little attention; avoiding Mrs. Bennet as much as possible, saying not much to Elizabeth, and nothing at all to the others. They were soon gone again, rising from their seats with an activity which took their brother by surprise, and hurrying off as if eager to escape from Mrs. Bennet's civilities.

Well, it's nice of them to come over. I love how Austen starts the sentence with "The two ladies were delighted to see their dear friend again," i.e., they have one friend present, Jane, not Elizabeth.

But now there's a BALL, everyone get ready! Oh my!

quote:

The prospect of the Netherfield ball was extremely agreeable to every female of the family. Mrs. Bennet chose to consider it as given in compliment to her eldest daughter, and was particularly flattered by receiving the invitation from Mr. Bingley himself, instead of a ceremonious card; Jane pictured to herself a happy evening in the society of her two friends, and the attention of their brother; and Elizabeth thought with pleasure of dancing a great deal with Mr. Wickham, and of seeing a confirmation of every thing in Mr. Darcy's looks and behaviour. The happiness anticipated by Catherine and Lydia, depended less on any single event, or any particular person, for though they each, like Elizabeth, meant to dance half the evening with Mr. Wickham, he was by no means the only partner who could satisfy them, and a ball was at any rate, a ball. And even Mary could assure her family that she had no disinclination for it.

``While I can have my mornings to myself,'' said she, ``it is enough. -- I think it no sacrifice to join occasionally in evening engagements. Society has claims on us all; and I profess myself one of those who consider intervals of recreation and amusement as desirable for every body.''

Mary is such a nerd. Well, at least Elizabeth can have some fun in the meanwhile teasing Mr. Collins, right? Surely he won't approve of dancing?

quote:

Elizabeth's spirits were so high on the occasion that, though she did not often speak unnecessarily to Mr. Collins, she could not help asking him whether he intended to accept Mr. Bingley's invitation, and, if he did, whether he would think it proper to join in the evening's amusement; and she was rather surprised to find that he entertained no scruple whatever on that head, and was very far from dreading a rebuke either from the Archbishop, or Lady Catherine de Bourgh, by venturing to dance.

``I am by no means of opinion, I assure you,'' said he, ``that a ball of this kind, given by a young man of character to respectable people, can have any evil tendency; and I am so far from objecting to dancing myself, that I shall hope to be honoured with the hands of all my fair cousins in the course of the evening, and I take this opportunity of soliciting yours, Miss Elizabeth, for the two first dances especially, -- a preference which I trust my cousin Jane will attribute to the right cause, and not to any disrespect for her.''

Oh poo poo. Well, that backfired.

It's interesting that Collins calls her "Miss Elizabeth" here, using her first name -- he can get away with it, as her cousin, but it's still a bit forward of him. Maybe think of it like calling her "sweetie" or something today. Elizabeth can't turn Collins down without being shockingly rude to him OR announcing she doesn't want to dance with anyone, which would mean she couldn't dance with Wickham.

quote:

Elizabeth felt herself completely taken in. She had fully proposed being engaged by Wickham for those very dances: -- and to have Mr. Collins instead! her liveliness had been never worse timed. There was no help for it however. Mr. Wickham's happiness and her own was perforce delayed a little longer, and Mr. Collins's proposal accepted with as good a grace as she could. She was not the better pleased with his gallantry from the idea it suggested of something more. -- It now first struck her that she was selected from among her sisters as worthy of being the mistress of Hunsford Parsonage, and of assisting to form a quadrille table at Rosings, in the absence of more eligible visitors. The idea soon reached to conviction, as she observed his increasing civilities toward herself, and heard his frequent attempt at a compliment on her wit and vivacity; and though more astonished than gratified herself by this effect of her charms, it was not long before her mother gave her to understand that the probability of their marriage was exceedingly agreeable to her. Elizabeth, however, did not chuse to take the hint, being well aware that a serious dispute must be the consequence of any reply. Mr. Collins might never make the offer, and till he did, it was useless to quarrel about him.

Oh poo poo. Well, this is going to be awkward. (In case it isn't obvious, the "Mistress of Hunsford Parsonage" would be Collin's wife).

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound
Chapter 18

Let's Have a Ball!

quote:

TILL Elizabeth entered the drawing-room at Netherfield and looked in vain for Mr. Wickham among the cluster of red coats there assembled, a doubt of his being present had never occurred to her. The certainty of meeting him had not been checked by any of those recollections that might not unreasonably have alarmed her. She had dressed with more than usual care, and prepared in the highest spirits for the conquest of all that remained unsubdued of his heart, trusting that it was not more than might be won in the course of the evening. But in an instant arose the dreadful suspicion of his being purposely omitted for Mr. Darcy's pleasure in the Bingleys' invitation to the officers; and though this was not exactly the case, the absolute fact of his absence was pronounced by his friend Mr. Denny, to whom Lydia eagerly applied, and who told them that Wickham had been obliged to go to town on business the day before, and was not yet returned; adding, with a significant smile,

``I do not imagine his business would have called him away just now, if he had not wished to avoid a certain gentleman here.''

Oh no. Well, that's a disappointment.

quote:

This part of his intelligence, though unheard by Lydia, was caught by Elizabeth, and as it assured her that Darcy was not less answerable for Wickham's absence than if her first surmise had been just, every feeling of displeasure against the former was so sharpened by immediate disappointment, that she could hardly reply with tolerable civility to the polite inquiries which he directly afterwards approached to make. -- Attention, forbearance, patience with Darcy, was injury to Wickham. She was resolved against any sort of conversation with him, and turned away with a degree of ill humour, which she could not wholly surmount even in speaking to Mr. Bingley, whose blind partiality provoked her.

Darcy comes up to her to say hello and she's so angry that Wickham isn't there that she can barely speak to Darcy. Note how Elizabeth is complaining about Bingley's blind partiality to Darcy, even though she actually knows far less of Darcy that Bingley does.

quote:

But Elizabeth was not formed for ill-humour; and though every prospect of her own was destroyed for the evening, it could not dwell long on her spirits; and having told all her griefs to Charlotte Lucas, whom she had not seen for a week, she was soon able to make a voluntary transition to the oddities of her cousin, and to point him out to her particular notice. The two first dances, however, brought a return of distress; they were dances of mortification. Mr. Collins, awkward and solemn, apologising instead of attending, and often moving wrong without being aware of it, gave her all the shame and misery which a disagreeable partner for a couple of dances can give. The moment of her release from him was exstacy.

Uuuughh.

quote:

She danced next with an officer, and had the refreshment of talking of Wickham, and of hearing that he was universally liked. When those dances were over she returned to Charlotte Lucas, and was in conversation with her, when she found herself suddenly addressed by Mr. Darcy, who took her so much by surprise in his application for her hand, that, without knowing what she did, she accepted him. He walked away again immediately, and she was left to fret over her own want of presence of mind; Charlotte tried to console her.

``I dare say you will find him very agreeable.''

``Heaven forbid! -- That would be the greatest misfortune of all! -- To find a man agreeable whom one is determined to hate! -- Do not wish me such an evil.''


Why are all these horrible men chasing me? Why can't Mr. Wickham be here? Dammit, dammit, dammit.

Nevertheless, Charlotte Lucas gives her some practical advice.

quote:

When the dancing recommenced, however, and Darcy approached to claim her hand, Charlotte could not help cautioning her, in a whisper, not to be a simpleton, and allow her fancy for Wickham to make her appear unpleasant in the eyes of a man of ten times his consequence. Elizabeth made no answer, and took her place in the set, amazed at the dignity to which she was arrived in being allowed to stand opposite to Mr. Darcy, and reading in her neighbours' looks their equal amazement in beholding it.

Again, she just scored a dance with a celebrity billionaire. It's an impressive status coup for her just to be there, and everyone is impressed.

quote:

They stood for some time without speaking a word; and she began to imagine that their silence was to last through the two dances, and at first was resolved not to break it; till suddenly fancying that it would be the greater punishment to her partner to oblige him to talk, she made some slight observation on the dance. He replied, and was again silent. After a pause of some minutes, she addressed him a second time with:

``It is your turn to say something now, Mr. Darcy. -- I talked about the dance, and you ought to make some kind of remark on the size of the room, or the number of couples.''

He smiled, and assured her that whatever she wished him to say should be said.

``Very well. -- That reply will do for the present. -- Perhaps by and by I may observe that private balls are much pleasanter than public ones. -- But now we may be silent.''

``Do you talk by rule then, while you are dancing?''

``Sometimes. One must speak a little, you know. It would look odd to be entirely silent for half an hour together, and yet for the advantage of some, conversation ought to be so arranged as that they may have the trouble of saying as little as as possible.''

``Are you consulting your own feelings in the present case, or do you imagine that you are gratifying mine?''

``Both,'' replied Elizabeth archly; ``for I have always seen a great similarity in the turn of our minds. -- We are each of an unsocial, taciturn disposition, unwilling to speak, unless we expect to say something that will amaze the whole room, and be handed down to posterity with all the eclat of a proverb.''

``This is no very striking resemblance of your own character, I am sure,'' said he. ``How near it may be to mine, I cannot pretend to say. -- You think it a faithful portrait undoubtedly.''

``I must not decide on my own performance.''


I just love that dialogue exchange there; really this whole exchange while Elizabeth and Darcy are dancing. It's terse and playful and witty and that "He smiled, and assured her that whatever she wished him to say should be said" works on at least three different levels I can think of (gruff polite nothing, a little snarky, but if you stop and think for a second, awfully romantic); this is Austen at her best, this is why she's still the model everyone else imitates, even 200 years later.

The bit about "private balls" is meant as a contrast to the public Assembly at Meryton in the earlier chapter. The people here have been invited, they didn't just pay a fee. The Annotated informs me that "Do you talk by rule then" means "according to a set of rules and regulations," not "as a rule" -- in other words, "Are you so stiff and formal that you plot out your conversations in advance."

quote:

He made no answer, and they were again silent till they had gone down the dance, when he asked her if she and her sisters did not very often walk to Meryton. She answered in the affirmative, and, unable to resist the temptation, added, ``When you met us there the other day, we had just been forming a new acquaintance.''

The effect was immediate. A deeper shade of hauteur overspread his features, but he said not a word, and Elizabeth, though blaming herself for her own weakness, could not go on. At length Darcy spoke, and in a constrained manner said,

``Mr. Wickham is blessed with such happy manners as may ensure his making friends -- whether he may be equally capable of retaining them, is less certain.''

``He has been so unlucky as to lose your friendship,'' replied Elizabeth with emphasis, ``and in a manner which he is likely to suffer from all his life.''

Darcy made no answer, and seemed desirous of changing the subject.

Oh, you had to go there, didn't you. But just as the conversation might be getting us some real info --

quote:

At that moment Sir William Lucas appeared close to them, meaning to pass through the set to the other side of the room; but on perceiving Mr. Darcy he stopt with a bow of superior courtesy, to compliment him on his dancing and his partner.

``I have been most highly gratified indeed, my dear Sir. Such very superior dancing is not often seen. It is evident that you belong to the first circles. Allow me to say, however, that your fair partner does not disgrace you, and that I must hope to have this pleasure often repeated, especially when a certain desirable event, my dear Miss Eliza (glancing at her sister and Bingley), shall take place. What congratulations will then flow in! I appeal to Mr. Darcy: -- but let me not interrupt you, Sir. -- You will not thank me for detaining you from the bewitching converse of that young lady, whose bright eyes are also upbraiding me.''

The latter part of this address was scarcely, heard by Darcy; but Sir William's allusion to his friend seemed to strike him forcibly, and his eyes were directed with a very serious expression towards Bingley and Jane, who were dancing together.

Does Darcy have a (negative?) opinion on Bingley and Jane? At any rate, it's a good chance to change the subject.

quote:

Recovering himself, however, shortly, he turned to his partner, and said,

``Sir William's interruption has made me forget what we were talking of.''

``I do not think we were speaking at all. Sir William could not have interrupted any two people in the room who had less to say for themselves. -- We have tried two or three subjects already without success, and what we are to talk of next I cannot imagine.''

``What think you of books?'' said he, smiling.

``Books -- Oh! no. -- I am sure we never read the same, or not with the same feelings.''

``I am sorry you think so; but if that be the case, there can at least be no want of subject. -- We may compare our different opinions.''

``No -- I cannot talk of books in a ball-room; my head is always full of something else.''

``The present always occupies you in such scenes -- does it?'' said he, with a look of doubt.

``Yes, always,'' she replied, without knowing what she said, for her thoughts had wandered far from the subject,
She's acting a little ditzy here because she still wants to figure out THE WICKHAM MYSTERY.

quote:

as soon afterwards appeared by her suddenly exclaiming,

``I remember hearing you once say, Mr. Darcy, that you hardly ever forgave, that your resentment once created was unappeasable. You are very cautious, I suppose, as to its being created.''

``I am,'' said he, with a firm voice.

``And never allow yourself to be blinded by prejudice?''

``I hope not.''

``It is particularly incumbent on those who never change their opinion, to be secure of judging properly at first.''

``May I ask to what these questions tend?''

``Merely to the illustration of your character,'' said she, endeavouring to shake off her gravity. ``I am trying to make it out.''

``And what is your success?''

She shook her head. ``I do not get on at all. I hear such different accounts of you as puzzle me exceedingly.''

``I can readily believe,'' answered he gravely, ``that report may vary greatly with respect to me; and I could wish, Miss Bennet, that you were not to sketch my character at the present moment, as there is reason to fear that the performance would reflect no credit on either.''

``But if I do not take your likeness now, I may never have another opportunity.''

``I would by no means suspend any pleasure of yours,'' he coldly replied. She said no more, and they went down the other dance and parted in silence; on each side dissatisfied, though not to an equal degree, for in Darcy's breast there was a tolerable powerful feeling towards her, which soon procured her pardon, and directed all his anger against another.

"I would by no means suspend any pleasure of yours," he coldly replied. Oh hubba hubba. More seriously, though, Darcy's right -- we're learning more about Elizabeth's character here than we are his.

quote:

They had not long separated when Miss Bingley came towards her, and with an expression of civil disdain thus accosted her,

``So, Miss Eliza, I hear you are quite delighted with George Wickham! -- Your sister has been talking to me about him, and asking me a thousand questions; and I find that the young man forgot to tell you, among his other communications, that he was the son of old Wickham, the late Mr. Darcy's steward. Let me recommend you, however, as a friend, not to give implicit confidence to all his assertions; for as to Mr. Darcy's using him ill, it is perfectly false; for, on the contrary, he has been always remarkably kind to him, though George Wickham has treated Mr. Darcy, in a most infamous manner. I do not know the particulars, but I know very well that Mr. Darcy is not in the least to blame, that he cannot bear to hear George Wickham mentioned, and that though my brother thought he could not well avoid including him in his invitation to the officers, he was excessively glad to find that he had taken himself out of the way. His coming into the country at all, is a most insolent thing indeed, and I wonder how he could presume to do it. I pity you, Miss Eliza, for this discovery of your favorite's guilt; but really, considering his descent one could not expect much better.''

``His guilt and his descent appear by your account to be the same,'' said Elizabeth angrily; ``for I have heard you accuse him of nothing worse than of being the son of Mr. Darcy's steward, and of that, I can assure you, he informed me himself.''

``I beg your pardon,'' replied Miss Bingley, turning away with a sneer. ``Excuse my interference. -- It was kindly meant.''

Miss Bingley is being really snobbish by calling him "George Wickham" with no "Mr." and pointing out that he was the son of a mere servant; he's not a gentleman, he's just a servant. (She's also still calling Elizabeth "Miss Eliza.")

quote:

She then sought her eldest sister, who had undertaken to make inquiries on the same subject of Bingley. Jane met her with a smile of such sweet complacency, a glow of such happy expression, as sufficiently marked how well she was satisfied with the occurrences of the evening. -- Elizabeth instantly read her feelings, and at that moment solicitude for Wickham, resentment against his enemies and every thing else gave way before the hope of Jane's being in the fairest way for happiness.

``I want to know,'' said she, with a countenance no less smiling than her sister's, ``what you have learnt about Mr. Wickham. But perhaps you have been too pleasantly engaged to think of any third person, in which case you may be sure of my pardon.''

``No,'' replied Jane, ``I have not forgotten him; but I have nothing satisfactory to tell you. Mr. Bingley does not know the whole of his history, and is quite ignorant of the circumstances which have principally offended Mr. Darcy; but he will vouch for the good conduct, the probity and honour of his friend, and is perfectly convinced that Mr. Wickham has deserved much less attention from Mr. Darcy than he has received; and I am sorry to say that by his account as well as his sister's, Mr. Wickham is by no means a respectable young man. I am afraid he has been very imprudent, and has deserved to lose Mr. Darcy's regard.''

``Mr. Bingley does not know Mr. Wickham himself?''

``No; he never saw him till the other morning at Meryton.''

``This account then is what he has received from Mr. Darcy. I am perfectly satisfied. But what does he say of the living?''

``He does not exactly recollect the circumstances, though he has heard them from Mr. Darcy more than once, but he believes that it was left to him conditionally only.''

``I have not a doubt of Mr. Bingley's sincerity,'' said Elizabeth warmly; ``but you must excuse my not being convinced by assurances only. Mr. Bingley's defence of his friend was a very able one I dare say, but since he is unacquainted with several parts of the story, and has learnt the rest from that friend himself, I shall venture still to think of both gentlemen as I did before.''

Jane is so trusting. But maybe she's right? Maybe Elizabeth is? Such a mystery. Note how Elizabeth and Jane are actually caring here about each other's happiness, which is surprisingly rare between the members of their family.

quote:

She then changed the discourse to one more gratifying to each, and on which there could be no difference of sentiment. Elizabeth listened with delight to the happy, though modest hopes which Jane entertained of Bingley's regard, and said all in her power to heighten her confidence in it. On their being joined by Mr. Bingley himself, Elizabeth withdrew to Miss Lucas; to whose inquiry after the pleasantness of her last partner she had scarcely replied, before Mr. Collins came up to them and told her with great exultation that he had just been so fortunate as to make a most important discovery.

``I have found out,'' said he, ``by a singular accident, that there is now in the room a near relation of my patroness. I happened to overhear the gentleman himself mentioning to the young lady who does the honours of this house the names of his cousin Miss de Bourgh, and of her mother Lady Catherine. How wonderfully these sort of things occur! Who would have thought of my meeting with -- perhaps -- a nephew of Lady Catherine de Bourgh in this assembly! -- I am most thankful that the discovery is made in time for me to pay my respects to him, which I am now going to do, and trust he will excuse my not having done it before. My total ignorance of the connection must plead my apology.''

``You are not going to introduce yourself to Mr. Darcy?''

``Indeed I am. I shall intreat his pardon for not having done it earlier. I believe him to be Lady Catherine's nephew. It will be in my power to assure him that her ladyship was quite well yesterday se'nnight.''

Elizabeth tried hard to dissuade him from such a scheme; assuring him that Mr. Darcy would consider his addressing him without introduction as an impertinent freedom, rather than a compliment to his aunt; that it was not in the least necessary there should be any notice on either side, and that if it were, it must belong to Mr. Darcy, the superior in consequence, to begin the acquaintance. -- Mr. Collins listened to her with the determined air of following his own inclination and when she ceased speaking, replied thus,

Oh God, Collins again. You keep loving that same horse, Mr. Collins. By the standards of the time, Elizabeth is completely right here and Collins is completely wrong -- you generally would only speak to someone you didn't know only after being introduced by a mutual acquaintance, and people lower down the social pecking order didn't put themselves forward to their social betters without a reason.

quote:

``My dear Miss Elizabeth, I have the highest opinion in the world of your excellent judgment in all matters within the scope of your understanding, but permit me to say that there must be a wide difference between the established forms of ceremony amongst the laity, and those which regulate the clergy; for give me leave to observe that I consider the clerical office as equal in point of dignity with the highest rank in the kingdom -- provided that a proper humility of behaviour is at the same time maintained. You must therefore allow me to follow the dictates of my conscience on this occasion, which leads me to perform what I look on as a point of duty. Pardon me for neglecting to profit by your advice, which on every other subject shall be my constant guide, though in the case before us I consider myself more fitted by education and habitual study to decide on what is right than a young lady like yourself.'' And with a low bow he left her to attack Mr. Darcy, whose reception of his advances she eagerly watched, and whose astonishment at being so addressed was very evident. Her cousin prefaced his speech with a solemn bow, and though she could not hear a word of it, she felt as if hearing it all, and saw in the motion of his lips the words ``apology,'' ``Hunsford,'' and ``Lady Catherine de Bourgh.'' -- It vexed her to see him expose himself to such a man. Mr. Darcy was eyeing him with unrestrained wonder, and when at last Mr. Collins allowed him time to speak, replied with an air of distant civility. Mr. Collins, however, was not discouraged from speaking again, and Mr. Darcy's contempt seemed abundantly increasing with the length of his second speech, and at the end of it he only made him a slight bow, and moved another way. Mr. Collins then returned to Elizabeth.

``I have no reason, I assure you,'' said he, ``to be dissatisfied with my reception. Mr. Darcy seemed much pleased with the attention. He answered me with the utmost civility, and even paid me the compliment of saying that he was so well convinced of Lady Catherine's discernment as to be certain she could never bestow a favour unworthily. It was really a very handsome thought. Upon the whole, I am much pleased with him.''

Jesus lord what a pompous rear end in a top hat. Collins is inventing this special clergy exception up out of whole cloth; members of the clergy had a very precise place in the social order of precedence, just like everyone else did, and everyone who isn't Mr. Collins knows that. Also that crack about "more fitted by education and habitual study to decide on what is right than a young lady like yourself" -- we know from before the Collins didn't even bother to study when he was in school, while Elizabeth actually reads books on her own, and on top of that, has grown up as a member of the gentry, whereas Collins hasn't. But he doesn't listen, because she's a girl. Pompous, bigoted, self-important, impudent, sexist . . . gaaah.

The Annotated points out that Darcy doesn't actually say he thinks his aunt has made a good decision in Mr. Collin's particular case.

Anyway, the dancing is over now, and it's time for the rest of Elizabeth's family to do everything possible to embarrass her.

quote:

As Elizabeth had no longer any interest of her own to pursue, she turned her attention almost entirely on her sister and Mr. Bingley, and the train of agreeable reflections which her observations gave birth to, made her perhaps almost as happy as Jane. She saw her, in idea, settled in that very house, in all the felicity which a marriage of true affection could bestow; and she felt capable, under such circumstances, of endeavouring even to like Bingley's two sisters. Her mother's thoughts she plainly saw were bent the same way, and she determined not to venture near her, lest she might hear too much. When they sat down to supper, therefore, she considered it a most unlucky perverseness which placed them within one of each other; and deeply was she vexed to find that her mother was talking to that one person (Lady Lucas) freely, openly, and of nothing else but of her expectation that Jane would be soon married to Mr. Bingley. -- It was an animating subject, and Mrs. Bennet seemed incapable of fatigue while enumerating the advantages of the match. His being such a charming young man, and so rich, and living but three miles from them, were the first points of self-gratulation; and then it was such a comfort to think how fond the two sisters were of Jane, and to be certain that they must desire the connection as much as she could do. It was, moreover, such a promising thing for her younger daughters, as Jane's marrying so greatly must throw them in the way of other rich men; and lastly, it was so pleasant at her time of life to be able to consign her single daughters to the care of their sister, that she might not be obliged to go into company more than she liked. It was necessary to make this circumstance a matter of pleasure, because on such occasions it is the etiquette, but no one was less likely than Mrs. Bennet to find comfort in staying at home at any period of her life. She concluded with many good wishes that Lady Lucas might soon be equally fortunate, though evidently and triumphantly believing there was no chance of it.

In vain did Elizabeth endeavour to check the rapidity of her mother's words, or persuade her to describe her felicity in a less audible whisper; for to her inexpressible vexation, she could perceive that the chief of it was overheard by Mr. Darcy, who sat opposite to them. Her mother only scolded her for being nonsensical.

``What is Mr. Darcy to me, pray, that I should be afraid of him? I am sure we owe him no such particular civility as to be obliged to say nothing he may not like to hear.''

``For heaven's sake, madam, speak lower. -- What advantage can it be to you to offend Mr. Darcy? -- You will never recommend yourself to his friend by so doing.''

Nothing that she could say, however, had any influence. Her mother would talk of her views in the same intelligible tone. Elizabeth blushed and blushed again with shame and vexation. She could not help frequently glancing her eye at Mr. Darcy, though every glance convinced her of what she dreaded; for though he was not always looking at her mother, she was convinced that his attention was invariably fixed by her. The expression of his face changed gradually from indignant contempt to a composed and steady gravity.

Oh god Mooooom stop you're sooo embarrasssing. She really, really is though. She's not just counting her chickens before they hatch, she's announcing her upcoming chicken farm to the whole neighborhood. Not that she's the only Bennett planning on making an exhibit of themselves this evening.

quote:

At length however Mrs. Bennet had no more to say; and Lady Lucas, who had been long yawning at the repetition of delights which she saw no likelihood of sharing, was left to the comforts of cold ham and chicken. Elizabeth now began to revive. But not long was the interval of tranquillity; for when supper was over, singing was talked of, and she had the mortification of seeing Mary, after very little entreaty, preparing to oblige the company. By many significant looks and silent entreaties, did she endeavour to prevent such a proof of complaisance, -- but in vain; Mary would not understand them; such an opportunity of exhibiting was delightful to her, and she began her song. Elizabeth's eyes were fixed on her with most painful sensations; and she watched her progress through the several stanzas with an impatience which was very ill rewarded at their close; for Mary, on receiving amongst the thanks of the table, the hint of a hope that she might be prevailed on to favour them again, after the pause of half a minute began another. Mary's powers were by no means fitted for such a display; her voice was weak, and her manner affected. -- Elizabeth was in agonies. She looked at Jane, to see how she bore it; but Jane was very composedly talking to Bingley. She looked at his two sisters, and saw them making signs of derision at each other, and at Darcy, who continued however impenetrably grave. She looked at her father to entreat his interference, lest Mary should be singing all night. He took the hint, and when Mary had finished her second song, said aloud,

``That will do extremely well, child. You have delighted us long enough. Let the other young ladies have time to exhibit.''

Mary, though pretending not to hear, was somewhat disconcerted; and Elizabeth sorry for her, and sorry for her father's speech, was afraid her anxiety had done no good. -- Others of the party were now applied to.


I actually do feel sortof sorry for Mary here. Poor nerdy girl. Not only was her playing not that great, but Mr. Bennett's public shutdown has just made it all more public and embarassing.

Not to be left out, though, Collins of course has to shove his foot in (after all, he's a Bennett cousin too):

quote:

``If I,'' said Mr. Collins, ``were so fortunate as to be able to sing, I should have great pleasure, I am sure, in obliging the company with an air; for I consider music as a very innocent diversion, and perfectly compatible with the profession of a clergyman. -- I do not mean however to assert that we can be justified in devoting too much of our time to music, for there are certainly other things to be attended to. The rector of a parish has much to do. -- In the first place, he must make such an agreement for tithes as may be beneficial to himself and not offensive to his patron. He must write his own sermons; and the time that remains will not be too much for his parish duties, and the care and improvement of his dwelling, which he cannot be excused from making as comfortable as possible. And I do not think it of light importance that he should have attentive and conciliatory manners towards every body, especially towards those to whom he owes his preferment. I cannot acquit him of that duty; nor could I think well of the man who should omit an occasion of testifying his respect towards any body connected with the family.'' And with a bow to Mr. Darcy, he concluded his speech, which had been spoken so loud as to be heard by half the room. -- Many stared. -- Many smiled; but no one looked more amused than Mr. Bennet himself, while his wife seriously commended Mr. Collins for having spoken so sensibly, and observed in a half-whisper to Lady Lucas, that he was a remarkably clever, good kind of young man.

Collins is being horrible in a lot of ways here. The bit about 'make such agreement for tithes" indicates that he thinks his first priority is to be an efficient tax collector. Not his religious duties, but his tax collection ones. That's his first priority. He's also wrong about sermons -- for an intelligent, educated rector, writing one sermon a week is not exactly hard labor, and on top of that, most rectors of the time would often read the published sermons of others (such as Fordyce, above). He barely even mentions any other religious work he might have to do as "parish functions," and then talks about how important it is that he make his own house all comfortable. What a selfish prat.

The rest of the evening is pretty horrible for Elizabeth; Collins continues to follow her around.

quote:

She was teazed by Mr. Collins, who continued most perseveringly by her side, and though he could not prevail with her to dance with him again, put it out of her power to dance with others. In vain did she entreat him to stand up with somebody else, and offer to introduce him to any young lady in the room. He assured her that as to dancing, he was perfectly indifferent to it; that his chief object was by delicate attentions to recommend himself to her, and that he should therefore make a point of remaining close to her the whole evening. There was no arguing upon such a project. She owed her greatest relief to her friend Miss Lucas, who often joined them, and good-naturedly engaged Mr. Collins's conversation to herself.

She can't turn Collins down without turning down everyone, so his constant attention shuts her out of dancing with anyone. The eventing draws to a close and Mrs. Bennett continues to make a scene of herself. Finally it's all over, and

quote:

When at length they arose to take leave, Mrs. Bennet was most pressingly civil in her hope of seeing the whole family soon at Longbourn; and addressed herself particularly to Mr. Bingley, to assure him how happy he would make them by eating a family dinner with them at any time, without the ceremony of a formal invitation. Bingley was all grateful pleasure, and he readily engaged for taking the earliest opportunity of waiting on her, after his return from London, whither he was obliged to go the next day for a short time.

Mrs. Bennet was perfectly satisfied; and quitted the house under the delightful persuasion that, allowing for the necessary preparations of settlements, new carriages, and wedding clothes, she should undoubtedly see her daughter settled at Netherfield in the course of three or four months. Of having another daughter married to Mr. Collins, she thought with equal certainty, and with considerable, though not equal, pleasure. Elizabeth was the least dear to her of all her children; and though the man and the match were quite good enough for her, the worth of each was eclipsed by Mr. Bingley and Netherfield.
.

paradoxGentleman
Dec 10, 2013

wheres the jester, I could do with some pointless nonsense right about now

The Netherfield Ball seems designed to show off the worst of the Bennet family; in particular Collins, who apparently feels the need to enumerate his "duties" as a clergyman with no particular provocation, on top of everything else you pointed out.

The Wickham Mistery becomes even more entangled here: on one hand, treating a peon badly seems pretty in character for Darcy, plus we probably wouldn't trust Miss Bingley's word on the subject given that she's basically Darcy's lackey and a bitch on the side. On the other hand, at this point it's pretty clear that Elizabeth and Darcy are the designated couple and it would be odd for a romantic interest to have such a stain on his conscience.

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound
Chapter 19.

Could things possibly get worse? Yes.

quote:

THE next day opened a new scene at Longbourn. Mr. Collins made his declaration in form. Having resolved to do it without loss of time, as his leave of absence extended only to the following Saturday, and having no feelings of diffidence to make it distressing to himself even at the moment, he set about it in a very orderly manner, with all the observances which he supposed a regular part of the business. On finding Mrs. Bennet, Elizabeth, and one of the younger girls together soon after breakfast, he addressed the mother in these words,

``May I hope, Madam, for your interest with your fair daughter Elizabeth, when I solicit for the honour of a private audience with her in the course of this morning?''

poo poo. RUN, Lizzie! Ruuuuun!

quote:


Before Elizabeth had time for any thing but a blush of surprise, Mrs. Bennet instantly answered,

``Oh dear! -- Yes -- certainly. -- I am sure Lizzy will be very happy -- I am sure she can have no objection. -- Come, Kitty, I want you up stairs.'' And gathering her work together, she was hastening away, when Elizabeth called out,

``Dear Ma'am, do not go. -- I beg you will not go. -- Mr. Collins must excuse me. -- He can have nothing to say to me that any body need not hear. I am going away myself.''

``No, no, nonsense, Lizzy. -- I desire you will stay where you are.'' -- And upon Elizabeth's seeming really, with vexed and embarrassed looks, about to escape, she added, ``Lizzy, I insist upon your staying and hearing Mr. Collins.''

Elizabeth would not oppose such an injunction -- and a moment's consideration making her also sensible that it would be wisest to get it over as soon and as quietly as possible, she sat down again, and tried to conceal by incessant employment the feelings which were divided between distress and diversion. Mrs. Bennet and Kitty walked off, and as soon as they were gone Mr. Collins began.

``Believe me, my dear Miss Elizabeth, that your modesty, so far from doing you any disservice, rather adds to your other perfections. You would have been less amiable in my eyes had there not been this little unwillingness; but allow me to assure you that I have your respected mother's permission for this address. You can hardly doubt the purport of my discourse, however your natural delicacy may lead you to dissemble; my attentions have been too marked to be mistaken. Almost as soon as I entered the house I singled you out as the companion of my future life. But before I am run away with by my feelings on this subject, perhaps it will be advisable for me to state my reasons for marrying -- and moreover for coming into Hertfordshire with the design of selecting a wife, as I certainly did.''

He has to state his reasons. He isn't there to listen to her answer; he's there to make his statements. So amazingly self-centered, pompous, and utterly oblivious to what anyone else thinks, or at any rate anyone who isn't Lady Catherine de Bleeeeeuuuuurrrrggghhhhh.

quote:

The idea of Mr. Collins, with all his solemn composure, being run away with by his feelings, made Elizabeth so near laughing that she could not use the short pause he allowed in any attempt to stop him farther, and he continued:

Collins is using standard phrases and formulas; he's not actually in any danger of being "run away with by [his] feelings," but that was a standard phrase in the era so he's saying it. Half his speech here is cliches and the other half is just obnoxious.

quote:

``My reasons for marrying are, first, that I think it a right thing for every clergyman in easy circumstances (like myself) to set the example of matrimony in his parish. Secondly, that I am convinced it will add very greatly to my happiness; and thirdly -- which perhaps I ought to have mentioned earlier, that it is the particular advice and recommendation of the very noble lady whom I have the honour of calling patroness. Twice has she condescended to give me her opinion (unasked too!) on this subject; and it was but the very Saturday night before I left Hunsford -- between our pools at quadrille, while Mrs. Jenkinson was arranging Miss de Bourgh's foot-stool, that she said, "Mr. Collins, you must marry. A clergyman like you must marry. -- Chuse properly, chuse a gentlewoman for my sake; and for your own, let her be an active, useful sort of person, not brought up high, but able to make a small income go a good way. This is my advice. Find such a woman as soon as you can, bring her to Hunsford, and I will visit her." Allow me, by the way, to observe, my fair cousin, that I do not reckon the notice and kindness of Lady Catherine de Bourgh as among the least of the advantages in my power to offer. You will find her manners beyond any thing I can describe; and your wit and vivacity I think must be acceptable to her, especially when tempered with the silence and respect which her rank will inevitably excite.

All about him. The only role Elizabeth has in all this is apparently to allow her "wit and vivacity" to be "tempered with the silence and respect" due to Lady de Blaaaaargh, i.e, "once we're married, you will finally shut up."

quote:

Thus much for my general intention in favour of matrimony; it remains to be told why my views were directed to Longbourn instead of my own neighbourhood, where I assure you there are many amiable young women. But the fact is, that being, as I am, to inherit this estate after the death of your honoured father (who, however, may live many years longer), I could not satisfy myself without resolving to chuse a wife from among his daughters, that the loss to them might be as little as possible, when the melancholy event takes place -- which, however, as I have already said, may not be for several years. This has been my motive, my fair cousin, and I flatter myself it will not sink me in your esteem. And now nothing remains for me but to assure you in the most animated language of the violence of my affection. To fortune I am perfectly indifferent, and shall make no demand of that nature on your father, since I am well aware that it could not be complied with; and that one thousand pounds in the 4 per cents, which will not be yours till after your mother's decease, is all that you may ever be entitled to. On that head, therefore, I shall be uniformly silent; and you may assure yourself that no ungenerous reproach shall ever pass my lips when we are married.''

Well, that's romantic. The Annotated points out that in the course of this paragraph Collins knocks down his estimate of Mr. Bennett's impending death down from "many years" to "several years." Boy wants his cash.

quote:

It was absolutely necessary to interrupt him now.

``You are too hasty, Sir,'' she cried. ``You forget that I have made no answer. Let me do it without farther loss of time. Accept my thanks for the compliment you are paying me, I am very sensible of the honour of your proposals, but it is impossible for me to do otherwise than decline them.''

``I am not now to learn,'' replied Mr. Collins, with a formal wave of the hand, ``that it is usual with young ladies to reject the addresses of the man whom they secretly mean to accept, when he first applies for their favour; and that sometimes the refusal is repeated a second or even a third time. I am therefore by no means discouraged by what you have just said, and shall hope to lead you to the altar ere long.''

``Upon my word, Sir,'' cried Elizabeth, ``your hope is rather an extraordinary one after my declaration. I do assure you that I am not one of those young ladies (if such young ladies there are) who are so daring as to risk their happiness on the chance of being asked a second time. I am perfectly serious in my refusal. -- You could not make me happy, and I am convinced that I am the last woman in the world who would make you so, -- Nay, were your friend Lady Catherine to know me, I am persuaded she would find me in every respect ill qualified for the situation.''

``Were it certain that Lady Catherine would think so,'' said Mr. Collins very gravely -- ``but I cannot imagine that her ladyship would at all disapprove of you. And you may be certain that when I have the honour of seeing her again I shall speak in the highest terms of your modesty, economy, and other amiable qualifications.''

``Indeed, Mr. Collins, all praise of me will be unnecessary. You must give me leave to judge for myself, and pay me the compliment of believing what I say. I wish you very happy and very rich, and by refusing your hand, do all in my power to prevent your being otherwise. In making me the offer, you must have satisfied the delicacy of your feelings with regard to my family, and may take possession of Longbourn estate whenever it falls, without any self-reproach. This matter may be considered, therefore, as finally settled.'' And rising as she thus spoke, she would have quitted the room, had not Mr. Collins thus addressed her,

``When I do myself the honour of speaking to you next on this subject I shall hope to receive a more favourable answer than you have now given me; though I am far from accusing you of cruelty at present, because I know it to be the established custom of your sex to reject a man on the first application, and perhaps you have even now said as much to encourage my suit as would be consistent with the true delicacy of the female character.''

``Really, Mr. Collins,'' cried Elizabeth with some warmth, ``you puzzle me exceedingly. If what I have hitherto said can appear to you in the form of encouragement, I know not how to express my refusal in such a way as may convince you of its being one.''

``You must give me leave to flatter myself, my dear cousin, that your refusal of my addresses is merely words of course. My reasons for believing it are briefly these: -- It does not appear to me that my hand is unworthy your acceptance, or that the establishment I can offer would be any other than highly desirable. My situation in life, my connections with the family of De Bourgh, and my relationship to your own, are circumstances highly in its favor; and you should take it into farther consideration that in spite of your manifold attractions, it is by no means certain that another offer of marriage may ever be made you. Your portion is unhappily so small that it will in all likelihood undo the effects of your loveliness and amiable qualifications. As I must therefore conclude that you are not serious in your rejection of me, I shall chuse to attribute it to your wish of increasing my love by suspense, according to the usual practice of elegant females.''

I just realized that Mr. Collins may be the first mansplainer in western literature. He sure does seem to have a lot of knowledge of the silly conventions found in contemporary romantic novels, especially for someone who professes never to read them.

quote:


``I do assure you, Sir, that I have no pretension whatever to that kind of elegance which consists in tormenting a respectable man. I would rather be paid the compliment of being believed sincere. I thank you again and again for the honour you have done me in your proposals, but to accept them is absolutely impossible. My feelings in every respect forbid it. Can I speak plainer? Do not consider me now as an elegant female intending to plague you, but as a rational creature speaking the truth from her heart.''

``You are uniformly charming!'' cried he, with an air of awkward gallantry; ``and I am persuaded that when sanctioned by the express authority of both your excellent parents, my proposals will not fail of being acceptable.''

To such perseverance in wilful self-deception, Elizabeth would make no reply, and immediately and in silence withdrew; determined, that if he persisted in considering her repeated refusals as flattering encouragement, to apply to her father, whose negative might be uttered in such a manner as must be decisive, and whose behaviour at least could not be mistaken for the affectation and coquetry of an elegant female.

Hieronymous Alloy fucked around with this message at 22:13 on Sep 14, 2014

Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound
Chapter 20

quote:

MR. COLLINS was not left long to the silent contemplation of his successful love; for Mrs. Bennet, having dawdled about in the vestibule to watch for the end of the conference, no sooner saw Elizabeth open the door and with quick step pass her towards the staircase, than she entered the breakfast room, and congratulated both him and herself in warm terms on the happy prospect of their nearer connection. Mr. Collins received and returned these felicitations with equal pleasure, and then proceeded to relate the particulars of their interview, with the result of which he trusted he had every reason to be satisfied, since the refusal which his cousin had stedfastly given him would naturally flow from her bashful modesty and the genuine delicacy of her character.

This information, however, startled Mrs. Bennet; -- she would have been glad to be equally satisfied that her daughter had meant to encourage him by protesting against his proposals, but she dared not to believe it, and could not help saying so.

``But depend upon it, Mr. Collins,'' she added, ``that Lizzy shall be brought to reason. I will speak to her about it myself directly. She is a very headstrong foolish girl, and does not know her own interest; but I will make her know it.'

You know things are bad when your own mother is declaring that she will make your "No" into "Yes."

quote:

``Pardon me for interrupting you, Madam,'' cried Mr. Collins; ``but if she is really headstrong and foolish, I know not whether she would altogether be a very desirable wife to a man in my situation, who naturally looks for happiness in the marriage state. If therefore she actually persists in rejecting my suit, perhaps it were better not to force her into accepting me, because if liable to such defects of temper, she could not contribute much to my felicity.''

"Your pardon, ma'am, but literally raping my own wife might be bothersome."

"Defects of temper."

quote:

``Sir, you quite misunderstand me,'' said Mrs. Bennet, alarmed. ``Lizzy is only headstrong in such matters as these. In every thing else she is as good natured a girl as ever lived. I will go directly to Mr. Bennet, and we shall very soon settle it with her, I am sure.''

She would not give him time to reply, but hurrying instantly to her husband, called out as she entered the library,

``Oh! Mr. Bennet, you are wanted immediately; we are all in an uproar. You must come and make Lizzy marry Mr. Collins, for she vows she will not have him, and if you do not make haste he will change his mind and not have her.''

Mr. Bennet raised his eyes from his book as she entered, and fixed them on her face with a calm unconcern which was not in the least altered by her communication.

``I have not the pleasure of understanding you,'' said he, when she had finished her speech. ``Of what are you talking?''

``Of Mr. Collins and Lizzy. Lizzy declares she will not have Mr. Collins, and Mr. Collins begins to say that he will not have Lizzy.''

``And what am I to do on the occasion? -- It seems an hopeless business.''

``Speak to Lizzy about it yourself. Tell her that you insist upon her marrying him.''

``Let her be called down. She shall hear my opinion.''

Mrs. Bennet rang the bell, and Miss Elizabeth was summoned to the library.

``Come here, child,'' cried her father as she appeared. ``I have sent for you on an affair of importance. I understand that Mr. Collins has made you an offer of marriage. Is it true?'' Elizabeth replied that it was. ``Very well -- and this offer of marriage you have refused?''

``I have, Sir.''

``Very well. We now come to the point. Your mother insists upon your accepting it. Is not it so, Mrs. Bennet?''

``Yes, or I will never see her again.''

``An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth. From this day you must be a stranger to one of your parents. -- Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins, and I will never see you again if you do.''

Fist-pump the air for dad, everyone. Mr. Bennett shows why he's awesome.

There's also a nice play on dramatic conventions here -- the normal, cliche'd plot point here would be for both parents to get VERY ANGRY at Elizabeth and try to force her into the marriage. Mr. Bennett isn't just redeeming his own character, he's also turning a parody on more conventional contemporary romances. Mr. Bennett may have his flaws, but he's a decent human being who loves his daughter and wants her to be happy.

The parents actually bicker a bit, and

quote:

Mr. Collins, meanwhile, was meditating in solitude on what had passed. He thought too well of himself to comprehend on what motive his cousin could refuse him; and though his pride was hurt, he suffered in no other way. His regard for her was quite imaginary; and the possibility of her deserving her mother's reproach prevented his feeling any regret .

. . .

Elizabeth passed quietly out of the room, Jane and Kitty followed, but Lydia stood her ground, determined to hear all she could; and Charlotte, detained first by the civility of Mr. Collins, whose inquiries after herself and all her family were very minute, and then by a little curiosity, satisfied herself with walking to the window and pretending not to hear. In a doleful voice Mrs. Bennet thus began the projected conversation. -- ``Oh! Mr. Collins!'' --

``My dear Madam,'' replied he, ``let us be for ever silent on this point. Far be it from me,'' he presently continued, in a voice that marked his displeasure, ``to resent the behaviour of your daughter. Resignation to inevitable evils is the duty of us all; the peculiar duty of a young man who has been so fortunate as I have been in early preferment; and I trust I am resigned. Perhaps not the less so from feeling a doubt of my positive happiness had my fair cousin honoured me with her hand; for I have often observed that resignation is never so perfect as when the blessing denied begins to lose somewhat of its value in our estimation. You will not, I hope, consider me as shewing any disrespect to your family, my dear Madam, by thus withdrawing my pretensions to your daughter's favour, without having paid yourself and Mr. Bennet the compliment of requesting you to interpose your authority in my behalf. My conduct may, I fear, be objectionable in having accepted my dismission from your daughter's lips instead of your own. But we are all liable to error. I have certainly meant well through the whole affair. My object has been to secure an amiable companion for myself, with due consideration for the advantage of all your family, and if my manner has been at all reprehensible, I here beg leave to apologise.''

This guy makes the mail-order bride industry seem a lot more comprehensible.

The Annotated points out that a lot of then-contemporary Christian morals focused on "resignation or forbearance in the face of inevitable evils . . . Mr. Collins gives it a particularly absurd twist by saying that resignation is most perfect when one has not lost anything of value, i.e., when there is no real resignation or need for forbearance."

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Hieronymous Alloy
Jan 30, 2009


Why! Why!! Why must you refuse to accept that Dr. Hieronymous Alloy's Genetically Enhanced Cream Corn Is Superior to the Leading Brand on the Market!?!




Morbid Hound
Chapter 21


quote:

The morrow produced no abatement of Mrs. Bennet's ill humour or ill health. Mr. Collins was also in the same state of angry pride. Elizabeth had hoped that his resentment might shorten his visit, but his plan did not appear in the least affected by it. He was always to have gone on Saturday, and to Saturday he still meant to stay.

Of course! Why leave? It's Mr. Collins!

Fortunately, there's still at least one pleasant beau in the neighborhood:

quote:

After breakfast, the girls walked to Meryton, to inquire if Mr. Wickham were returned, and to lament over his absence from the Netherfield ball. He joined them on their entering the town and attended them to their aunt's, where his regret and vexation, and the concern of every body was well talked over. -- To Elizabeth, however, he voluntarily acknowledged that the necessity of his absence had been self imposed.

``I found,'' said he, ``as the time drew near, that I had better not meet Mr. Darcy; -- that to be in the same room, the same party with him for so many hours together, might be more than I could bear, and that scenes might arise unpleasant to more than myself.''

Unfortunately, though, things aren't going well for anyone in the family:

quote:


Soon after their return, a letter was delivered to Miss Bennet; it came from Netherfield, and was opened immediately. The envelope contained a sheet of elegant, little, hot-pressed paper, well covered with a lady's fair, flowing hand; and Elizabeth saw her sister's countenance change as she read it, and saw her dwelling intently on some particular passages. Jane recollected herself soon, and putting the letter away, tried to join with her usual cheerfulness in the general conversation; but Elizabeth felt an anxiety on the subject which drew off her attention even from Wickham; and no sooner had he and his companion taken leave, than a glance from Jane invited her to follow her up stairs. When they had gained their own room, Jane taking out the letter, said,

``This is from Caroline Bingley; what it contains, has surprised me a good deal. The whole party have left Netherfield by this time, and are on their way to town; and without any intention of coming back again. You shall hear what she says.''

It wouldn't have been proper for Mr. Bingley to send a letter to Jane because they aren't formally engaged. "Hot pressed paper" is very fancy, expensive paper that has been pressed between hot metal plates to make it glossy and shiny and fancy-looking.

quote:

She then read the first sentence aloud, which comprised the information of their having just resolved to follow their brother to town directly, and of their meaning to dine that day in Grosvenor street, where Mr. Hurst had a house. The next was in these words.

quote:

``I do not pretend to regret any thing I shall leave in Hertfordshire, except your society, my dearest friend; but we will hope at some future period, to enjoy many returns of the delightful intercourse we have known, and in the mean while may lessen the pain of separation by a very frequent and most unreserved correspondence. I depend on you for that.''

To these high flown expressions, Elizabeth listened with all the insensibility of distrust; and though the suddenness of their removal surprised her, she saw nothing in it really to lament; it was not to be supposed that their absence from Netherfield would prevent Mr. Bingley's being there; and as to the loss of their society, she was persuaded that Jane must soon cease to regard it, in the enjoyment of his.]

Grosvenor Street was a fancy, high-tone London address. Note how Miss Bingley apparently hates *everything* in Hertfordshire except Jane's society; i.e., she doesn't regret leaving Elizabeth, Mrs. Bennett, the country, the grounds of Netherfield, etc.

The letter continues:

quote:

``When my brother left us yesterday, he imagined that the business which took him to London, might be concluded in three or four days, but as we are certain it cannot be so, and at the same time convinced that when Charles gets to town he will be in no hurry to leave it again, we have determined on following him thither, that he may not be obliged to spend his vacant hours in a comfortless hotel. Many of my acquaintance are already there for the winter; I wish I could hear that you, my dearest friend, had any intention of making one in the croud, but of that I despair. I sincerely hope your Christmas in Hertfordshire may abound in the gaieties which that season generally brings, and that your beaux will be so numerous as to prevent your feeling the loss of the three of whom we shall deprive you.''

i.e. "I hope you find a new boyfriend or three (and forget about my brother)."

quote:

``It is evident by this,'' added Jane, ``that he comes back no more this winter.''

``It is only evident that Miss Bingley does not mean he should.''

``Why will you think so? It must be his own doing. -- He is his own master. But you do not know all. I will read you the passage which particularly hurts me. I will have no reserves from you.''

quote:

``Mr. Darcy is impatient to see his sister, and to confess the truth, we are scarcely less eager to meet her again. I really do not think Georgiana Darcy has her equal for beauty, elegance, and accomplishments; and the affection she inspires in Louisa and myself is heightened into something still more interesting, from the hope we dare to entertain of her being hereafter our sister. I do not know whether I ever before mentioned to you my feelings on this subject, but I will not leave the country without confiding them, and I trust you will not esteem them unreasonable. My brother admires her greatly already, he will have frequent opportunity now of seeing her on the most intimate footing, her relations all wish the connection as much as his own, and a sister's partiality is not misleading me, I think, when I call Charles most capable of engaging any woman's heart. With all these circumstances to favour an attachment and nothing to prevent it, am I wrong, my dearest Jane, in indulging the hope of an event which will secure the happiness of so many?''
``What think you of this sentence, my dear Lizzy?'' -- said Jane as she finished it. ``Is it not clear enough? -- Does it not expressly declare that Caroline neither expects nor wishes me to be her sister; that she is perfectly convinced of her brother's indifference, and that if she suspects the nature of my feelings for him, she means (most kindly!) to put me on my guard? Can there be any other opinion on the subject?''

``Yes, there can; for mine is totally different. -- Will you hear it?''

``Most willingly.''

``You shall have it in few words. Miss Bingley sees that her brother is in love with you, and wants him to marry Miss Darcy. She follows him to town in the hope of keeping him there, and tries to persuade you that he does not care about you.''

This passage is kindof neat because it shows Jane and Elizabeth doing the same sort of close reading of this letter, that we've been doing of this novel.

quote:

Jane shook her head.

``Indeed, Jane, you ought to believe me. -- No one who has ever seen you together, can doubt his affection. Miss Bingley I am sure cannot. She is not such a simpleton. Could she have seen half as much love in Mr. Darcy for herself, she would have ordered her wedding clothes. But the case is this. We are not rich enough, or grand enough for them; and she is the more anxious to get Miss Darcy for her brother, from the notion that when there has been one intermarriage, she may have less trouble in achieving a second; in which there is certainly some ingenuity, and I dare say it would succeed, if Miss de Bourgh were out of the way. But, my dearest Jane, you cannot seriously imagine that because Miss Bingley tells you her brother greatly admires Miss Darcy, he is in the smallest degree less sensible of your merit than when he took leave of you on Tuesday, or that it will be in her power to persuade him that instead of being in love with you, he is very much in love with her friend.''

``If we thought alike of Miss Bingley,'' replied Jane, ``your representation of all this, might make me quite easy. But I know the foundation is unjust. Caroline is incapable of wilfully deceiving any one; and all that I can hope in this case is, that she is deceived herself.''

``That is right. -- You could not have started a more happy idea, since you will not take comfort in mine. Believe her to be deceived by all means. You have now done your duty by her, and must fret no longer.''

The Annotated points out that even though the "my dearest Jane" and so forth language here seems rather formal, it was actually typical for the time; Austen isn't being stilted or formal, she's writing reality as she saw it at the time.

quote:

``But, my dear sister, can I be happy, even supposing the best, in accepting a man whose sisters and friends are all wishing him to marry elsewhere?''

``You must decide for yourself,'' said Elizabeth, ``and if, upon mature deliberation, you find that the misery of disobliging his two sisters is more than equivalent to the happiness of being his wife, I advise you by all means to refuse him.''

``How can you talk so?'' -- said Jane faintly smiling, -- ``You must know that though I should be exceedingly grieved at their disapprobation, I could not hesitate.''

``I did not think you would; -- and that being the case, I cannot consider your situation with much compassion.''

``But if he returns no more this winter, my choice will never be required. A thousand things may arise in six months!''

The idea of his returning no more Elizabeth treated with the utmost contempt. It appeared to her merely the suggestion of Caroline's interested wishes, and she could not for a moment suppose that those wishes, however openly or artfully spoken, could influence a young man so totally independent of every one.

He's independent because he's independently wealthy and the male decisionmaker in his household; he doesn't have any parents or anyone else to tell him what to do. He makes the decisions, not his sister (at least in theory). The question about what to do when your & your intended's wishes go against the rest of everyone's family turns out to be a big one.

Fortunately, they've still invited him to dinner, so maybe he'll come back and have dinner, right?

quote:

She represented to her sister as forcibly as possible what she felt on the subject, and had soon the pleasure of seeing its happy effect. Jane's temper was not desponding, and she was gradually led to hope, though the diffidence of affection sometimes overcame the hope, that Bingley would return to Netherfield and answer every wish of her heart.

They agreed that Mrs. Bennet should only hear of the departure of the family, without being alarmed on the score of the gentleman's conduct; but even this partial communication gave her a great deal of concern, and she bewailed it as exceedingly unlucky that the ladies should happen to go away, just as they were all getting so intimate together. After lamenting it however at some length, she had the consolation of thinking that Mr. Bingley would be soon down again and soon dining at Longbourn, and the conclusion of all was the comfortable declaration that, though he had been invited only to a family dinner, she would take care to have two full courses.

It's kindof telling that it's Mrs. Bennett who thinks he's going to come all the way back to the country just to have a dinner at Longbourn. "Courses" at this point meant like an assortment of multiple dishes.

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