A Waste of Time and Money: The Worst PPVs of All Time

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > A Waste of Time and Money: The Worst PPVs of All Time

Madtrixr: Nov 27, 2010

Kirios posted:

I keep seeing New Blood Rising mentioned in this discussion...can someone explain just why that PPV was so historically bad?

6 words: Judy Bagwell on a Forklift match.

That's not even the worst loving part, also the awful mud wrestling match that transforms into a miscarriage angle, a tag clusterfuck that had like 10 special guest refs, the loving Canadian Rules match that was literally just Jacques Rougeau continually screwing Mike Awesome out of beating Lance Storm, to make storm a HEEL. IN CANADA. and then Bret Hart just comes out and hugs??? And finally, it has the absolute worst worked shoot poo poo ever when goldberg refuses to go up for the jackknife powerbomb and the commentating team go on about how, "oh steiner is so professional for going up for it, that drat goldberg isnt following the script."

Its the loving worst thing ever. god alive.

All that needs to be said is the ppv is named for a stable that died before the ppv aired. Fuckin WCW.

# ¿ Sep 2, 2014 05:09

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 04:53

Madtrixr: Nov 27, 2010

StarkRavingMad posted:

I never saw it, but that sounds amazing. In the worst possible way.

Oh its awful. Its so ironic that when they tried to force "real" poo poo so hard that it came off extra fake, and no one but the markiest mark ever fell for it. But WCW never understood that, and that is why they loving died.

# ¿ Sep 2, 2014 05:24

Madtrixr: Nov 27, 2010

jpmeyer posted:

Most of the candidates people are bringing up have self-evident, easy to grok explanations for why they are bad. So-and-so was on drugs, X number of matches featuring people that can't work, etc.

The short answer to "Why is New Blood Rising the worst PPV ever" is that it was so overbooked and so obsessed with shooting that you basically had no idea what your response was supposed to be to anything that was going on.

People will say things like "5 words: Judy Bagwell on a forklift" but that doesn't really get into why that is terrible. It seems self-evident, but it's so much deeper than that.

First: why is she on a forklift? There's multiple levels to this. "Why?" in the sense of "what is the reasoning behind having her on a forklift at ringside rather than like sitting at the announce table or something?", but also "why?" in the sense of "What exactly does this stipulation in the match mean for the match itself?" You don't win by racing to the top of the forklift with her, for example like in a viagra on a pole match. She's not a weapon, like a coal miner's glove on a pole match.

This then also fails to recognize that the match features a run-in by David Arquette. Again, you read "run-in by David Arquette" and assume that that's enough by itself to make a match terrible, but again that's not even the whole picture. He wasn't around for months before then, so why come back now? And of course, it also leaves out the fact that OF COURSE this leads to a heel turn by him (which again, also doesn't make sense since everyone already hated him legitimately) in yet another swerve-for-swerve's sake.

Almost every match (even the opening ladder match) suffers from these problems, combined of course with the standard complaint of the actual wrestling in the matches also being terrible.

This is all very true. Like, Judy Bagwell is just up there on a forklift screaming her head off. It's so awkward and adds nothing other than maybe a vague sense of "Oh man Kanyon is gonna sleep with her if he wins. Oh boy". And I loving FORGOT about the Arquette run-in, because gently caress man. Yes former WCW World Heavyweight Champion David Arquette does a heel run in on the Judy Bagwell on a forklift match. Best part? he fails to help Kanyon win and gets beat up by The Stuff as a result.

# ¿ Sep 3, 2014 20:33

Madtrixr: Nov 27, 2010

sexy_trash posted:

I was at this PPV in Vancouver and when David Arquette we were all so unbelievably confused, it truly made zero sense. I was with my mom, and her and the people around us thought maybe it being filmed for a movie or something, because we had no clue.

The Goldberg in a motorcycle accident/refuse to follow the script storyline made no sense because nobody told us in the arena what was happening. Goldberg just showed up with his ribs taped and nobody knew where he was. They didn't even play his music because the announcers explained it on TV.

WCW was so bad at this point, the people in Vancouver were just going to it for the sake of going to wrestling, so we are all excited to see Sting wrestle...52 seconds later it was over.

I vividly remember David Penzer or one of the wrestlers asking if they wanted to see Kronik wrestle again in that impromptu match vs. Vampiro and Great Muta and the crowd more or less saying 'no'.

This PPV was such a clusterfuck by the time Lance Storm came out in his pro-Canadian gimmick vs. Mike Awesome, we more or less gave up on the story lines and just cheered for him uncontrollably like Canadians used to do for the Hart Foundation in 1997.

Seriously, such an awful show in a barely half full Pacific Coliseum.

Great line from the wikipedia article for the show "Despite never being announced before or during the show, every match on the card was contested under no disqualification rules."

Oh my god. I am so sorry. They didn't explain the whole Goldberg thing to the crowd at the show? What in the flying hell.

# ¿ Sep 4, 2014 07:14

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