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wheez the roux posted:les mes loving sucks That play made me throw up my hands in the air and go on a profanity-laced rant about how the Seahawks can't be stopped because Russell Wilson is a goddamned magical leprechaun who defies the laws of physics.
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Sep 4, 2014 16:15
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| # ¿ May 16, 2024 18:14 |
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I posted this in the Farthouse late last night when everyone was arguing about syllables but it seems more important here: Every week one matchup. Football, guys. Football. Twas the night before week one, when all through the league The offseason was over; it left us fatigued. Lombardis displayed with the utmost of care, In hopes that St. Collinsworth soon would be there. The Seahawks were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of pick-sixes danced in their heads. And fans in their cheeseheads, and Aaron his cap, Had just settled in to cease the long summer’s nap. When down in Atlanta, the first Sunday matter, Two NFC South teams will see who is radder. (Provided that Drew Brees remembered his ladder). Away up Minny, AP flies like a flash, In the backfield, Robert Quinn does his sack dance. A season without Gordon; Roger says so. Big Ben doesn’t listen when the ladies say no. When, what from Chip Kelly’s brain should appear, But a miniature BORT, and BORT BORTY BORT BORT. With a little young Carr boy, so lively, yet vexed, Will know in a moment he’s against St. Rex. More rapid than eagles the blitzers they came, And refs whistled, and flagged, and called them by name! "Now Ed (“Guns”)! now, Triplette! now, Bogler and Leavy! On, Carey! On, Corrent! on, on Gene Steratore! To the fifty-yard line! When they touch the ball! Now flag away! flag away! Go flag them all!" From Red Rocket to AJ, let the pigskin fly, But don’t think T-Sizzle will lay down & die. Down from New York, young Sammy makes you say “ooh.” With Marc Tressman alongside, Jay says, “gently caress you.” Then, with a new coach, RG3 is no goof He saw JJ and Clowney; inside he thought, “oof!” CJ2k couldn’t run and ran out of town, And for the Chiefs, Alex Smith came to check down. Brady dressed all his fur, with an Ugg on each foot, Miami dreams already burnt down to soot. “I could use more toys,” says Cam the Quarterback; And Tampa’s D hopes to ensure no smile he cracks Their king—how he twinkles! He’s known just as Jerry! Jerseys red like roses, their defense less scary! As day turns to night, to NBC we all go, And the game of the night will be quite the show. The beard of his neck makes him look quite a geek, But he gets the job done, winning week after week. He has a long face and a little brother named… "Elly?" That he’s not our QB, we all are quite jelly! And Eli the Lesser, a right jolly old elf, And his face is quite goofy, in and of itself! A wink of his eye and a kick to the head, Suh gave Eli fear, it filled him with dread. He has not one ring, for all of his work, And Phil’s always screaming; he seems like a jerk. Ignoring coverage, looking deep Carson throws, And giving a nod, to Fitzgerald he goes! Fans cheered as they may, to their teams gave a whistle, And away teams were met with jeers of dismissal. But I heard them exclaim, off-season in hindsight, "Happy Football to all, and to all a Good-Night!" Spoeank fucked around with this message at 20:04 on Sep 4, 2014 |
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Sep 4, 2014 20:01
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