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ZombieParts
Jul 18, 2009

ASK ME ABOUT VISITING PROSTITUTES IN CHINA AND FEELING NO SHAME. MY FRIEND IS SERIOUSLY THE (PATHETIC) YODA OF PAYING WOMEN TO TOUCH HIS (AND MY) DICK. THEY WOULDN'T DO IT OTHERWISE.
One time I was driving with my dog and decided to stop for some milk - I parked the car with the windows down plenty and went and bought milk. I came outside and there was an old man hovering around my car. He asked me what kind of a person leaves a dog in a sweltering car for 30 minutes. I told him I don't know because I was in there for about 5. And he just kept being a really passive aggressive prick about how my dog was dying in there. I was trying to be nice and tell him about my three dogs because I understand people get uppity about dogs but he was making poo poo up about how he'd stood there for half an hour watching my dog "suffer." I was finally like "You're lying. And I'm tired of being nice to you, god dammit! You came over here to fight, LET'S GET CRACKIN" and I started swinging my arms around in a real chimp out. He backed right on off. I got in the car and my dog high-fived me and we went to Arby's for some drive-thru.

I know that dude had good intentions but he was straight up lying about the situation and if a cop had showed up I probably would have gotten a pretty stiff fine for walking into a store and buying a gallon of milk on a saturday morning

ZombieParts fucked around with this message at 04:58 on Sep 16, 2014

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