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Bongo Bill
Jan 17, 2012

Dragon Quest 3. Ortega's revenge-crazed child is an embarrassing reminder of the king's biggest boondoggle, so as soon as they're old enough they get 120 gold pieces and a copper sword or whatever, and a sarcastic Important Mission to get the gently caress out of the country and go die in a ditch somewhere. Joined by a thief who feigns loyalty out of a need to skip town before their most recent heist is discovered, and a persistent crazy drunk who shouts obscenities at ghosts early in the morning, their unlikely tale is narrated by a the fourth member of the party, a hapless and disfavored royal auditor who's been punished with the "honor" of keeping track of the hero's traveling expenses.

Together, they are the worst adventurers ever, but in the course of their journey they discover that the world really is in danger from the dark lord, that raiding ancient ruins is far more profitable than regular burglary, that the weird hobo was enlightened all along, and the power of friendship.

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