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How did agile improve your process? Did you deliver on time and on budget? Were you able to adapt to constantly changing requirements? Did your company send you to be scrum-master certified (tm)? Post the best sprint retrospective and scrum stories u got. Some of my favorite agile words: Estimation Kaizen Product owners Scrum Theme Regression test Scrum-Master Story Point Bottleneck Agile Spike XP Pattern Refactor War Room Unit Test Sprint Planning Emergent Test Driven Development Manifesto Iterate Retrospective Stand-up Epic ![]()
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# ? May 18, 2024 18:38 |
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Six smega cum lord
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agile is a great way to get mediocre work out of developers from whom you were previously getting terrible work because they can't just dick around for 3 months and show no progress
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akadajet posted:How did agile improve your process? Did you deliver on time and on budget? Were you able to adapt to constantly changing requirements? Did your company send you to be scrum-master certified (tm)? Post the best sprint retrospective and scrum stories u got. I literally can't read this, my vision blurs red and I hear a buzzing noise in my ears
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agile: just keep having meetings until the people who suck finally run out of excuses
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qirex posted:agile: just keep having meetings until the people who suck finally run out of excuses
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agile: don't worry, the other team doesn't believe you guys will do your job properly either
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dont mean to brag but ive got lots of epic on my level 90 troll elemental shaman, op
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what the heck is agile
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i agilely choose "next iteration" on all my tasks at the end of every iteration, so i'm doing agile programming, op
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Hum If U Scrum
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carry on then posted:i agilely choose "next iteration" on all my tasks at the end of every iteration, so i'm doing agile programming, op i think u work with me. Haha, j/k!!! this is what we all do as far as i can tell!!
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In the process of migrating my team away from agile to something resembling continuous integration and it is soooo much better.
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Hen posted:In the process of migrating my team away from agile to something resembling continuous integration and it is soooo much better. You can do both. (We do)
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my company is migrating to some kind of scrum-life and is trying to make people from the support department with no engineering or project management experience be little project managers. it's going great.
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Hen posted:In the process of migrating my team away from agile to something resembling continuous integration and it is soooo much better.
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has anyone said scrumdog millionaire yet cya later scrumlords
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synergy
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when people say "scrum" what they usually mean is rapid(er) releases and I dont really see anything wrong with that.
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if i never have to explain what a "point" is to people ever again i can die a happy man
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my advice is to use XP. If you don't want to do XP, scrum is ok and if you Just Use Hours On Your Estimate For Fucks Sake you probably won't annoy people too much and you might actually ship something at some point.
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qirex posted:agile is a great way to get mediocre work out of developers from whom you were previously getting terrible work because they can't just dick around for 3 months and show no progress lol
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I set my mail rules to delete anything with the word agile in the subject and it has worked out pretty well so far. another agile success story.
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qirex posted:agile is a great way to get mediocre work out of developers from whom you were previously getting terrible work because they can't just dick around for 3 months and show no progress this is basically all process programs. the more incompetent and lazy a team is, the more they benefit from a strict process. the converse is also true that the better and more productive a team is, the more they are harmed by stricter process.
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a scrum is that rugby thing with thumbs in butts right? sounds like i will be sticking to waterfall thanks!!
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qirex posted:agile is a great way to get mediocre work out of developers from whom you were previously getting terrible work because they can't just dick around for 3 months and show no progress we do a standup every morning where we talk about what we did and unless you feel fine straight up lying and assuming no one will check, it is plenty of motivation not to dick around
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echinopsis posted:what the heck is agile who cares op
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MALE SHOEGAZE posted:we do a standup every morning where we talk about what we did and unless you feel fine straight up lying and assuming no one will check, it is plenty of motivation not to dick around i went to a preschool too op are u rly treated this badly at ur job i hope not
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theadder posted:i went to a preschool too op i mean i also like knowing what other people are doing
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MALE SHOEGAZE posted:we do a standup every morning where we talk about what we did and unless you feel fine straight up lying and assuming no one will check, it is plenty of motivation not to dick around i would spend more time constructing this daily speech than working on anything
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echinopsis posted:what the heck is agile
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"agile" is when a company that's completely institutionally incapable of carrying on a modern software development process forces the programmers to do a bunch of tiresome rituals and spends company money on whiteboards and TV screens instead of actually looking critically at how they work people who actually have what an agile process is supposed to be don't say "agile" as a noun. in fact they just call it programming
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ii oh el posted:i would spend more time constructing this daily speech than working on anything
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qirex posted:agile is a great way to get mediocre work out of developers from whom you were previously getting terrible work because they can't just dick around for 3 months and show no progress
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whats agileechinopsis posted:what the heck is agile
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Someone is farting in the departmental stand up
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kwinkles posted:a scrum is that rugby thing with thumbs in butts right? sounds like i will be sticking to waterfall thanks!! ![]()
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pretty much any iterative development model works fine if you have the right people involved and committed to your project
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# ? May 18, 2024 18:38 |
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the best place i ever worked at with the most successful projects used a scaled down version of rup
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