BREAKFAST HACKS megathread

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Saranya

spread some butter on the left over pizza crusts from the night before and you're good to go

# ? Oct 15, 2014 15:19

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# ? May 4, 2024 06:07

Senior Management

is bread just raw toast or is toast just overcooked bread?

# ? Oct 15, 2014 15:20

les fleurs du mall: by LadyAmbien

Vynar posted:

is bread just raw toast or is toast just overcooked bread?

toast is a sin so the question is irrelevant

also yeast is a sin

# ? Oct 15, 2014 15:21

Bo-Pepper: Want some rye?
Course ya do!

BrownianMotion posted:

if yuo are very quick you can just steal an egg from the ostrich and just eat that egg for breakfast

# ? Oct 15, 2014 15:29

google THIS

Entropic posted:

If you haven't seen real bacon in over a year it's actually possible to convince yourself turkey bacon is just as good. Has to be at least a year though.

what if i told you...it takes no time at all to convince yourself that real bacon is just as good as real bacon?

this is an advanced breakfast hack, mind you, not for the faint or diseased of heart

# ? Oct 15, 2014 15:54

Entropic: patriarchy sucks

Jett posted:

what if i told you...it takes no time at all to convince yourself that real bacon is just as good as real bacon?

this is an advanced breakfast hack, mind you, not for the faint or diseased of heart

Sure, if you want to play on easy mode.

# ? Oct 15, 2014 15:57

poverty goat

you know what tastes like bacon? real bacon

# ? Oct 15, 2014 15:59

google THIS

turkey scientists have actually created some reasonable facsimiles of other meats, but bacon? nah. eat a turkey sausage instead, that at least has a success rate greater than 0

# ? Oct 15, 2014 16:00

alnilam

real breakfast hacK: make a protein shake out of milk + whey powder, then put tha on cereal instead of melk

proceed to eat using goodbye turtles' page 1 spoon hack

# ? Oct 15, 2014 16:07

alnilam

always roast your coffe beans in the evening because they need at least 8 hours in a sealed container after roasting before you brew them :coffeepal:

# ? Oct 15, 2014 16:08

Entropic: patriarchy sucks

I didn't say it was good, I just laid out the circumstances in which it's possible to lie to yourself

# ? Oct 15, 2014 16:08

mailorder bees: FLUFFERNUTTER

GoodbyeTurtles posted:

ULTRAHACK: pour the cereal into your mouth then pour in the milk to save on washing up

# ? Oct 15, 2014 16:09

alnilam

pet pigs are increasingly popular these days; just like a plant in your garden, you can take bite's of bacon out of your pig and they will grow it back
:mrapig:

# ? Oct 15, 2014 16:09

smoobles

mods please sticky

# ? Oct 15, 2014 16:20

smoobles

alnilam posted:

always roast your coffe beans in the evening because they need at least 8 hours in a sealed container after roasting before you brew them

serious question, how stupid is this invention: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/jimguldi/worlds-first-roast-grind-brew-coffee-machine

# ? Oct 15, 2014 16:21

alnilam

smoobles posted:

serious question, how stupid is this invention: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/jimguldi/worlds-first-roast-grind-brew-coffee-machine

pretty dumb i think, you really are supposed to let the beans sit in a jar for at least overnight

:coffeepal:

the extra quality from a very fresh roast is awesome but is goign to be pretty constant for at least a week (at least not distinguishably different), so there's nothing better about "roasting just enough for each cup" than about "roasting enough for the coming week," so this machine gains you nothing but single-push-button convenience, and loses you the 8-24 hour sitting time you're supposed to give

:coffeepal:

that being said if people are intimidated by roasting separately for some reason (it's really not that hard you juts need a roaster), it could be okay i guess, to bring fresh-roasted coffee to the lazy masses. i've never actually tried to brew beans minutes after i roasted them because i thought you weren't supposed to so maybe it's not so bad? but stlil not ideal

:coffeepal:

all in all popular consensus is it's best to let the beans sit, and you don't gain anything by roasting cup-by-cup instead of week-by-week, so i think this machine is gimmicky and not designed around true coffe principles

# ? Oct 15, 2014 16:35

playground tough

thsi thread is way better than nitecrew

breakfastcrew

# ? Oct 15, 2014 16:35

alnilam

alnilam posted:

pretty dumb i think, you really are supposed to let the beans sit in a jar for at least overnight

the extra quality from a very fresh roast is awesome but is goign to be pretty constant for at least a week (at least not distinguishably different), so there's nothing better about "roasting just enough for each cup" than about "roasting enough for the coming week," so this machine gains you nothing but single-push-button convenience, and loses you the 8-24 hour sitting time you're supposed to give

that being said if people are intimidated by roasting separately for some reason (it's really not that hard you juts need a roaster), it could be okay i guess, to bring fresh-roasted coffee to the lazy masses. i've never actually tried to brew beans minutes after i roasted them because i thought you weren't supposed to so maybe it's not so bad? but stlil not ideal

all in all popular consensus is it's best to let the beans sit, and you don't gain anything by roasting cup-by-cup instead of week-by-week, so i think this machine is gimmicky and not designed around true coffe principles

what might be better is an all-in-one machine like this except you press the button the night before and it lets the beans dwell overnight, then auto-brews at a set time in the morning or something... maybe people wouldn't like it because it's not on-demand / requires forethougth?

i'd still think it's dumb and i'd rather have a separate roaster, but it'd be better than this imo

breakfast hack: start a breakfast kickstarter... haven't really fleshed this one out yet looking to workshop it

# ? Oct 15, 2014 16:39

Entropic: patriarchy sucks

I'm convinced that coffee snobbery is all just placebo bullshit a million times worse than wine bullshit. It's just coffee jesus christ.

# ? Oct 15, 2014 16:42

Entropic: patriarchy sucks

alnilam posted:

breakfast hack: start a breakfast kickstarter... haven't really fleshed this one out yet looking to workshop it

I want to buy an Egg McMuffin for breakfast

1
backer
$0.50 pledged of $3.39 goal
15 minutes left

STRETCH GOALS:

$5
I will get a small coffee too

# ? Oct 15, 2014 16:46

mailorder bees: FLUFFERNUTTER

i will drink any coffee put in front of me, lest i risk death

# ? Oct 15, 2014 16:46

alnilam

dumb descriptions like "melodic fruity notes with a strong, yet light, body and a nutty finish" are bullshit and yes they ar esnobbish and high-falutin

but there are different subtle flavors to coffee and freshly roasted coffee tastes different than older coffee, bean A tastes different from bean B, dark vs light roast, etc, that i would not call snobbery

what IS snobbery is when people say "ew i wouldn't be caught dead drinking folgers" because

Entropic posted:

it's just coffee jesus christ.

in other words i enjoy poo poo coffee i just also really enjoy nice coffee, i mean i go into diners all the time and drink the poo poo they brew and enjoy it, i juts also really like to enjoy really good coffee :coffeepal:

in a similar way i enjoy mid-tier wine but i will never turn down a nice glass of carlo rossi mmm mm

my other comment on "snobbery" is, like wine, mid-tier stuff is better than bad stuff, but past that you get diminishing returns and it's dumb to spend $100 on a bottle of wine or $40 on a bag of coffee, THAT is snobbery

# ? Oct 15, 2014 16:48

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

black coffee and some toast. problem loving solved, you nancies.

# ? Oct 15, 2014 16:49

Saranya

alnilam posted:

what might be better is an all-in-one machine like this except you press the button the night before and it lets the beans dwell overnight, then auto-brews at a set time in the morning or something... maybe people wouldn't like it because it's not on-demand / requires forethougth?

i'd still think it's dumb and i'd rather have a separate roaster, but it'd be better than this imo

breakfast hack: start a breakfast kickstarter... haven't really fleshed this one out yet looking to workshop it

I roasted coffee for awhile using this roaster http://www.behmor.com/behmor-1600.php and it was really easy to use. It would probably give a more even roast than the all-in-one machine and you have more freedom with the controls and settings. Clean up isn't too bad, you just have to sweep some chaff out and run the clean cycle every 5 batches or so.

# ? Oct 15, 2014 16:51

SIDS Vicious

bacon

# ? Oct 15, 2014 16:54

Entropic: patriarchy sucks

bacoff

# ? Oct 15, 2014 16:56

City of Glompton

mailorder bees! posted:

i will drink any coffee put in front of me, lest i risk death

same

# ? Oct 15, 2014 16:57

poverty goat

before you push the plunger down on the coffee press just pick up the press and gently tap it down on the counter 3-5 times. This will make most of the solids sink to the bottom on their own, so you'll end up with less sludge at the bottom of your cup (since you arent forcing it through the screen with the plunger)

# ? Oct 15, 2014 17:12

bird.

if you're in a hurry you can just bring a candle and use that to toast your bread in the car

or if you ride the bus just do the same thing but be very sneaky about it

# ? Oct 15, 2014 17:45

A Time To Chill

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

black coffee and some toast. problem loving solved, you nancies.

# ? Oct 15, 2014 19:02

alnilam

Entropic posted:

I want to buy an Egg McMuffin for breakfast

1
backer
$0.50 pledged of $3.39 goal
15 minutes left

STRETCH GOALS:

$5
I will get a small coffee too

*doughnates*

# ? Oct 15, 2014 19:06

mailorder bees: FLUFFERNUTTER

i usually just have coffee

# ? Oct 15, 2014 19:06

Entropic: patriarchy sucks

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

black coffee and some toast. problem loving solved, you nancies.

It starts off all pure like that but then you're like "what if I could dip my toast in the coffee" and the next thing you know you've invented biscotti.

# ? Oct 15, 2014 19:08

les fleurs du mall: by LadyAmbien

Cup of drink with caffeine content and cheap cigarette

snack on dirt if u get too hungry before dinner

# ? Oct 15, 2014 19:18

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# ? May 4, 2024 06:07

A LOVELY LAD: Hey man, wanna hear a secret?

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

black coffee ~~and some toast~~. problem loving solved, you nancies.

# ? Oct 15, 2014 19:18

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > BREAKFAST HACKS megathread

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