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Weird Sandwich
Dec 28, 2011

FIRE FIRE FIRE hehehehe!


Has there ever been a more important culinary innovation than the marriage of cheese and bread? Surely not, according to the millions of poor university students who need a quick, delicious meal after a night of attempting to replace their blood with pure ethanol. So, I bring to you a short guide to crafting the perfect grilled cheese sandwiches, so that you may relive those bygone eras when you couldn’t afford actual food.

The Cheese

The single most important factor in determining which cheese to use is the quality of the melt. The cheese needs to melt quickly and easily, to provide the ideal gooey texture. Good choices include the reliable cheddar, mozzarella, and swiss varieties. Stay far, far away from those lovely plastic orange processed cheese slices. Using cream cheese is considered cheating however, as no grilling is required. Generally, anything softer than Brie is not recommended. Cheez-wiz isn’t cheating, it’s just depressing. Hard cheeses such as Parmesan do not melt well, so avoid.

The Bread

Completing the other last half of the equation is the bread. The bread must be either sliced or flatbread of course, for maximum grilling efficiency. Most people just use white bread, which is acceptable but criminally boring. At least use a nice bakery loaf of white, if you must. Multigrain bread is a good alternative, as are darker types like Rye. The grilled cheese does not look down upon any type of bread, so go hog wild.

Seasoning

While not strictly a part of the bread and cheese power duo, a good seasoning or paste can greatly enhance the overall experience. Runny sauces should not be used as they will interfere with the texture of the melted cheese, but things like tomato paste are fine. Herbs and spices are always a good choice. Avoid salt though.

Other Ingredients

If one starts to add too many additional ingredients, the line between elegant grilled cheese and mere toastie becomes distressingly blurred. The general rule of thumb is if the ingredient could be considered the ‘main’ part of the sandwich, then it is no longer a grilled cheese. Thus, any meat product cannot be considered (And why Casu Marzu can't be used). One or two vegetables are acceptable, although too many and you risk getting a grilled salad sandwich and an overwhelming sense of shame instead. Fresh tomatoes are the standby favourite, but they pale in comparison to their thinner, sexier alternative, the sun-dried tomato. Mushrooms are a good choice as well, as is practically any vegetable that can be found atop a pizza.

Summary

The perfect grilled cheese sandwich is:

Multigrain bread from a proper bakery
Sliced Cheddar cheese
Sun-dried tomatoes
Tuscan seasoning.
Butter on the outsides before grilling for that golden brown goodness.

A simple yet delicious grilled cheese sandwich. If your grilled cheese takes longer to prepare than to eat, then you have missed the point entirely. So goons (with spoons), tell me what you think of the classic grilled cheese, I would like to see your favourite variations.

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Butch Cassidy
Jul 28, 2010

Mustard. A smear of good, sharp mustard before grilling :colbert: And onions raw or caramelized are always welcome.

lament.cfg
Dec 28, 2006

we have such posts
to show you




Get some chicken in the mix and this thread might go places.

Butch Cassidy
Jul 28, 2010

It is Octoberfest season, so where is the chickencheese crusader?

ZetsurinPower
Dec 14, 2003

I looooove leftovers!
Parmesan is awesome on the outside of the bread, adds more crunch and cheesy goodness. Stick it to the buttered bread or smeared mustard like Butch recommended.

hifi
Jul 25, 2012

I use mayo on the outside instead of butter

Pudgygiant
Apr 8, 2004

Garnet and black? More like gold and blue or whatever the fuck colors these are
Try it with some Red Leicester. Also my life changed when I started browning the butter first.

Disco Salmon
Jun 19, 2004
I love mine with regular salted butter on the outside, and cheddar on the inside. However, I do occasionally do muenster or brie instead of cheddar, and add bacon or apple slices inside. Every so often I will do mayo instead of the butter on the outside, but regardless...it must ALWAYS be with a good tomato soup OR a bisque of some sort.

At least at our house that is the rule.

** Seriously though, try thin apple slices inside the grilled cheese. Its REALLY good!! I like fuji's :)

El Jebus
Jun 18, 2008

This avatar is paid for by "Avatars for improving Lowtax's spine by any means that doesn't result in him becoming brain dead by putting his brain into a cyborg body and/or putting him in a exosuit due to fears of the suit being hacked and crushing him during a cyberpunk future timeline" Foundation

Disco Salmon posted:

it must ALWAYS be with a good tomato soup

This is pretty standard in our house, too. Although, we prefer a nice sourdough with a chipotle mayo interior. Really kicks things up a notch.

THE MACHO MAN
Nov 15, 2007

...Carey...

draw me like one of your French Canadian girls

Butch Cassidy posted:

Mustard. A smear of good, sharp mustard before grilling :colbert: And onions raw or caramelized are always welcome.

I never though to try mustard. But caramelized onions are a+, especially with mushrooms.

Can't go wrong with plain ol' cheese and tomato though.

Suspect Bucket
Jan 15, 2012

SHRIMPDOR WAS A MAN
I mean, HE WAS A SHRIMP MAN
er, maybe also A DRAGON
or possibly
A MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL TEAM
BUT HE WAS STILL
SHRIMPDOR
I like it on a really nutty multigrain, only a bit of butter on the outside, and when I can be fancy, I use smoked Gouda. But it's usually Supermarket Brand individually wrapped Cheese Food Product.

Rapman the Cook
Aug 24, 2013

by Ralp
Layered like so:

Bread
Cream cheese
Cheese
Any Filling
Cheese
Cream cheese
Bread.

DankTamagachi
Jan 20, 2005
Tamagachi to your throat!
Everybody knows the secret to good grilled cheese is to butter both sides of both slices of bread.

Devil Wears Wings
Jul 17, 2006

Look ye upon the wages of diet soda and weep, for it is society's fault.
The best Grilled Cheese that I've ever had is at the Union Grill in Pittsburgh: Brie, bacon, and caramelized onions on sourdough.

Actually, just use brie no matter what you're doing. Brie is delicious and melts awesomely.

The Midniter
Jul 9, 2001

My ideal grilled cheese:

Thick-sliced pumpernickel with caraway seeds
Havarti and muenster
Bacon
Paper-thin slice of red onion
Red pepper flakes

I'll spread a thin layer of butter on both sides of each piece of bread, or a very thin layer of mayo if I don't have any room-temp butter.


I was going to have a grilled cheese with soup for dinner last night until I got nagged at that we had too many leftovers to go through. gently caress it, I am Grilling A Cheese tonight.

bombhand
Jun 27, 2004

DankTamagachi posted:

Everybody knows the secret to good grilled cheese is to butter both sides of both slices of bread.
Not just buttering, but also toasting, the insides before adding the cheese and toasting the outside. Plus the grated cheese on the outside. I notice that the photo in the OP looks like it's got outside-cheese, too.

Tyrone Biggums
Mar 5, 2013
Homemade white bread and fresh cheddar sliced from a block, fried in cast iron with 2 tablespoons of butter is the only acceptable way :colbert:

Butch Cassidy
Jul 28, 2010

Deli rye and sliced sharp cheddar, emmentaler, or Camembert is best. Again, with mustard and maybe onion while cast iron is obligatory. :ese:

Or skip cooking, don't slice the bread, add some Branston pickle, big pat of cultured butter in a dish, a bottle of beer, and just call it good at a ploughman's.

Wungus
Mar 5, 2004

Peri-peri is incredible to use inside the bread; throw in a nice Gouda and an Emmental, with some sunflower sprouts and some thickly sliced, lightly fried disks of potato, and it just makes me want to cry with how good it is.

Phaxtor
Sep 18, 2014

by XyloJW

DankTamagachi posted:

Everybody knows the secret to good grilled cheese is to butter both sides of both slices of bread.

I have to agree with this statement, by far the most crucial step of the perfect grilled cheese is to butter both slices. It should also be made with a nice aged sharp cheddar and no filler ingredients -- just cheese, butter and bread!

granpa yum
Jul 15, 2004
I really like to make cheese slices that melt better ala modernist cuisine's fancy cheese sauce, especially for cheddar. It melts so well and doesn't break and get all oily

I also occasionally like a slice of tomato on there but only if it's a good tomato

guppy
Sep 21, 2004

sting like a byob
I feel very strongly that the single most important factor in a good grilled cheese sandwich is to use as thin a layer of butter on the bread as humanly possible. It can't be dry, but too much butter on the outside is what makes grilled cheese soggy and gross. There is nothing sadder than a soggy, gross grilled cheese sandwich.

Croatoan
Jun 24, 2005

I am inevitable.
ROBBLE GROBBLE

guppy posted:

I feel very strongly that the single most important factor in a good grilled cheese sandwich is to use as thin a layer of butter on the bread as humanly possible. It can't be dry, but too much butter on the outside is what makes grilled cheese soggy and gross. There is nothing sadder than a soggy, gross grilled cheese sandwich.

It helps to have a good thick sturdy bread. Especially if you're grilling both sides. You want it to still be bread and not a buttery paste.

Also I have to disagree with the op on processed cheese. American cheese from the deli is totally different from the "singles" you get pre packaged from the dairy section. Deli american cheese is loving amazing on grilled cheese sandwiches.

The Midniter
Jul 9, 2001

I made a grilled cheese last night with rosemary olive oil bread, muenster and provolone cheese, and a leftover pork chop. It was loving phenomenal.

Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006


Just wear the fucking mask, Bob

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!

I thought one of the two allowed uses for Kraft singles was grilled cheese on Wonder bread (the other being on a hamburger)?

Reiterpallasch
Nov 3, 2010



Fun Shoe
Modernist Cusine's grilled cheese preps are obviously way too involved for any practical purpose, but I'd just like to take the chance to plug their insane genius food photography guys.



(also, c'mon, a sandwich with ham and an egg inside isn't a grilled cheese anymore)

THE MACHO MAN
Nov 15, 2007

...Carey...

draw me like one of your French Canadian girls
it's pushing it, but i'd eat the gently caress out of it that's for sure.

Senrab
May 10, 2012
Am I the only one who likes gruyere grilled cheese? Sure, it's hard, but it melts fine if cut thin. And for bread, it must be sourdough.

Phaxtor
Sep 18, 2014

by XyloJW

Senrab posted:

Am I the only one who likes gruyere grilled cheese? Sure, it's hard, but it melts fine if cut thin. And for bread, it must be sourdough.

I have never had one with it.. as for sourdough -- drat right!

e: I'm not actually sure if I can think of a bread I like better for most sandwich type applications.

Phaxtor fucked around with this message at 06:32 on Oct 23, 2014

But Not Tonight
May 22, 2006

I could show you around the sights.

Call me weird, but I like putting mayo on the outside with a small sprinkle of italian seasoning and stuffing it with havarti and turkey. Bread doesn't matter so much, but it has to be something decently sturdy.

swampface
Apr 30, 2005

Soiled Meat

Bob Morales posted:

I thought one of the two allowed uses for Kraft singles was grilled cheese on Wonder bread (the other being on a hamburger)?

I'm with you except for the hamburger bit. Sometimes you just need a plain old grilled cheese.

the littlest prince
Sep 23, 2006


The only true grilled cheese is made lovingly with <bread I grew up with>, topped with <cheese I grew up with>, paired with <soup I grew up with>, and served with a big glass of <drink I grew up with>.

Phaxtor
Sep 18, 2014

by XyloJW

the littlest prince posted:

The only true grilled cheese is made lovingly with <bread I grew up with>, topped with <cheese I grew up with>, paired with <soup I grew up with>, and served with a big glass of <drink I grew up with>.

There is only one soup that goes with grilled cheese perfectly ->

Democratic Pirate
Feb 17, 2010

There aren't many emotions that can rival waking up from a drunken stupor after drinking all day on a beach and finding out that your friend got bored and used an entire loaf of bread to make grilled cheese sandwiches for everyone. With good pickles on the side.

SymmetryrtemmyS
Jul 13, 2013

I got super tired of seeing your avatar throwing those fuckin' glasses around in the astrology thread so I fixed it to a .jpg

Senrab posted:

Am I the only one who likes gruyere grilled cheese? Sure, it's hard, but it melts fine if cut thin. And for bread, it must be sourdough.

Gruyere and havarti make the most amazing grilled cheese. Also, grate, don't slice. Easier to distribute easily, melts quicker, just better.

KettleWL
Dec 28, 2010
This thread motivated me to make the best kind of grilled cheese with my dinner tonight.

A quesadilla.

Bob Morales
Aug 18, 2006


Just wear the fucking mask, Bob

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!

the littlest prince posted:

and served with a big glass of <drink I grew up with>.
Big glass of OJ. Nothing pairs with melted cheese quite like orange juice.

whos that broooown
Dec 10, 2009

2024 Comeback Poster of the Year

Senrab posted:

Am I the only one who likes gruyere grilled cheese? Sure, it's hard, but it melts fine if cut thin. And for bread, it must be sourdough.



I made a grilled cheese last night with smoked gruyere, gala apple, and dijon on homemade whole wheat. Would eat again.

the littlest prince
Sep 23, 2006


Bob Morales posted:

Big glass of OJ. Nothing pairs with melted cheese quite like orange juice.

That's disgusting. Some whole milk for me, please. For every meal, for all of eternity.

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VictualSquid
Feb 29, 2012

Gently enveloping the target with indiscriminate love.
I think I have never tried an actual American style Grilled Cheese Sandwich.
How do you do that actual grilling?
For the most similar thing I make I just put some cheese and other stuff on some buns, baguette or toast and put those in the oven like a pizza.

Senrab posted:

Am I the only one who likes gruyere grilled cheese? Sure, it's hard, but it melts fine if cut thin. And for bread, it must be sourdough.
I like Gruyvere or lots of similar local cheeses for my baked cheese on bread.

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