Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
Bernard McFacknutah
Nov 13, 2009

Hezzy posted:

we measure poo poo in MPH as well, its the rest of the euros that seem to get hard for KPH

I keep mixing KPH and MPH up, that's why I have 9 points on my license and can't touch a police vehicle until March. I blame the EU.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Bernard McFacknutah
Nov 13, 2009

chartley posted:

What a great statutory defence. That would never work. As a wannabe traffic wank, shame on you but that's for the work returns.

Er, pretty sure it would wash with some of the UKIP supporters in the home county mags courts.

I literally got 3 points the morning I was going to attest. Had to fill out a declarable form for that one even though I was a good 2 hours short of being a police officer. It's a piece of piss to get points in London because there are cameras everywhere and loads of sneaky 20mph zones.

Bernard McFacknutah
Nov 13, 2009
Gwent Police have also managed to kill a man with a tazer for eating out his girlfriend (I skim read the article)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-south-east-wales-29957977

There are now shitloads of people demanding that we suspend the use of tazers.

I'm hoping that by Monday, Gwent police won't have tazers or PAVA spray so the public can really see what happens when a slag get's tuned up with a steel ASP

Bernard McFacknutah fucked around with this message at 20:23 on Nov 7, 2014

Bernard McFacknutah
Nov 13, 2009
Yep, they've been pretty busy for a force with 1300 officers. At least it gives us a week out of the press so our hate crimes go unnoticed until the Sunday papers.

Bernard McFacknutah
Nov 13, 2009
I had a splendid day at a war memorial, spoke to some bad-rear end 90 yearolds who ran the Arctic convoys to Murmansk, watched all the ex-soviet ambassadors turn up and place wreaths (apart from Georgia and Ukraine who won't have theirs next to the russian one, which is sad) and then watched the old boys get tanked on rum and get a lift to the train station in meat wagons. A good day.

Bernard McFacknutah
Nov 13, 2009

chartley posted:

But it's surely just a contraction of drink(ing) and driving. Seems to make sense to me.

Do you guys north of the border differentiate between driving whilst having drunk too much and drunk and/or drug driving? Lowering the drink drive limit is a good idea, I'm a fairly large guy and after a single pint of export larger I know my reaction times are slower but I wouldn't be over the limit.

Bernard McFacknutah
Nov 13, 2009

beanieson posted:

Car Chasing the Dragon is what we called it when we'd drive around & shoot up heroin.

Pretty sure chasing the dragon is where you inhale the fumes from heroin being heated on foil, which I can tell you is particularly difficult if you're driving, especially in a manual. Personally mainlining just before you get behind the wheel is the optimum method of consuming opiates prior to a long drive.

Bernard McFacknutah
Nov 13, 2009

Branis posted:

Who drives manuals anymore though? I never have learned to drive stick and the only manual anything i've ever had to drive is a motorcycle.

Anyone who has roads with corners in their country.

Bernard McFacknutah
Nov 13, 2009
So, I nicked a student from Florida on Saturday night. I won't go in to particulars as he is due in court later but one of the offenses was assault on police after he kneed a senior officer in the groin after telling the custody Sergeant to suck his dick. Because of his diminutive size he was just placed in cuffs, didn't even hit the deck. I'm just curious what would happen if someone kneed a lieutenant in the balls in a Florida police station/gaol? He said 'Nothing' is what would have happened.

Bernard McFacknutah
Nov 13, 2009

Cmdr. Shepard posted:

He'd probably have been shot.

We were hoping this would have been the answer.

Apparently the silly boy has missed his flight home and his deportation ordered. Won't ever be allowed into the UK again I don't doubt.

Bernard McFacknutah
Nov 13, 2009
To be honest the arrest was half for his own protection, he was in a really rough part of London, just gotten thrown out of a club and was starting a fight with a bunch of 'bouncers' that would have eaten him for breakfast. He wouldn't accept a friendly lift from us, then he refused to accept a dispersal order and after about a billion warnings and trying to shove me away he got nicked. He calmed down when he was in the slam wagon and we were going to de-arrest him because even minor offenses can have permanent repercussions when you are a non-EU tourist but as he was being let out he went nuts.

The look on the guvenors face after he got kneed in the balls, at least he got a free cock examination from the duty nurse, who was quite hot. I hope he went and warmed up his tallywhacker in the toilets to get a bit of bloodflow going for the evidential pictures. Pretty sure they got passed around CID a few times.

Bernard McFacknutah
Nov 13, 2009

zombie303 posted:

That's a cool cop.

He is city of London, a tiny 950 officer service covering about 8 square miles within the met. Those horses are always out and about making GBS threads on the streets and causing me to have to slow down so they don't bolt and kick a bystander in the face. The MET has about 150 of those arseholes.

Bernard McFacknutah
Nov 13, 2009
They should jazz those up a bit by swapping the pictures for ISIS propaganda and a beheading montage.

I'll never forget City police printing leaflets telling city traders to stay inside during work hours on May Day, which just gave them a heads up to order tens of thousands of blatantly fake £50 notes to get printed so they could hoof them out of windows on to the protestors below. It actually help them in an abstract way. After we kettled them for 10 hours and they had to poo poo in the street the notes got used as arse wipe.

Bernard McFacknutah
Nov 13, 2009
Whip has gone back to posting under his parachue account, SedanChair

Bernard McFacknutah
Nov 13, 2009
P.Much everyone involved in that episode is a scumbag and the officers in question apparently had a terrible reputation. I remember canteen discussions between old sweats saying that everyone got what they deserved.

Bernard McFacknutah
Nov 13, 2009

Branis posted:

smash the monarchy

I will fight you.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Bernard McFacknutah
Nov 13, 2009
I have to say, I love Anchor Steam and a lot of American IPA but your Whisky and Bourbon is garbage. The Japs do it best, if you've not had a decent Hibiki or Yamazaki then you haven't lived. Makes Laphroaigh taste like dishwater. I tanned a bottle of Kilchoman single cask the other night, liked it so bad I grabbed another bottle the next morning.

  • Locked thread