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I would totally watch this if it were real:
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Nov 24, 2014 17:28
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My favorite dumb poo poo about the EU is how every loving thing in the galaxy finds its way back to OUR HEROES somehow. A bad guy on Backwater poo poo Hole Planet can't so much as hatch a plot to take advantage of nerf herders by raising the price of bantha fodder or whatever without Luke, Han, Chewie, and the rest of the gang bursting on the scene to save the day. You're left with the impression that every problem in the universe is solved by the same 10-12 people and nobody else anywhere does a drat thing with their lives.
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Nov 24, 2014 17:28
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Bonzo posted:The EU was onto something with Anakin Solo being set up to be the next Darth but then Lucas got involved and wouldn't let them so they then made Jacen turn and undid 10+ years of character development. and from what i have read in discussions on here whenever anyone like matthew woodring stover tried adding nuance to the sith and a little moral ambiguity an order came down from on high to keep it as simple good vs evil as possible
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Nov 24, 2014 17:29
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Chomp8645 posted:My favorite dumb poo poo about the EU is how every loving thing in the galaxy finds its way back to OUR HEROES somehow. A bad guy on Backwater poo poo Hole Planet can't so much as hatch a plot to take advantage of nerf herders by raising the price of bantha fodder or whatever without Luke, Han, Chewie, and the rest of the gang bursting on the scene to save the day. You're left with the impression that every problem in the universe is solved by the same 10-12 people and nobody else anywhere does a drat thing with their lives. I like how the villains are almost always "On par/greater than Darth Vader and Emperor Palpatine." Yet no one talks about them, ever.
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Nov 24, 2014 17:29
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Neurosis posted:and from what i have read in discussions on here whenever anyone like matthew woodring stover tried adding nuance to the sith and a little moral ambiguity an order came down from on high to keep it as simple good vs evil as possible why don't the writers just tell george lucas to go gently caress himself and write what they want like why is george THAT involved in dumb glorified fan-fiction
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Nov 24, 2014 17:32
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I'm voting for the bug sex
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Nov 24, 2014 17:36
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Neurosis posted:and from what i have read in discussions on here whenever anyone like matthew woodring stover tried adding nuance to the sith and a little moral ambiguity an order came down from on high to keep it as simple good vs evil as possible well that explains why Jacen has his poo poo together for several books while using Sith beliefs to help form an actual decent Republic army and then just looses it and kills a main character for nothing other than total shock value.
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Nov 24, 2014 17:38
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ThePutty posted:why don't the writers just tell george lucas to go gently caress himself and write what they want George likes getting involved. I'm pretty fond of this story from the Lucas Arts studio's post-mortem. quote:A similar situation arose with Star Wars: The Force Unleashed’s protagonist, Starkiller. “[That name] was only supposed to be a nickname or call sign, not a proper name from the beginning,” a former LucasArts employee says. The development team hoped that Lucas would give Vader’s apprentice a Darth moniker, which at the time, was something that didn’t happen often. http://www.gameinformer.com/b/featu...PostPageIndex=1
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Nov 24, 2014 17:38
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e: ^^ oh my god darth insanius? ThePutty posted:why don't the writers just tell george lucas to go gently caress himself and write what they want because george lucas is a sperg control freak idiot who got free reign on a media empire. the only eu thing i ever had besides video games was this big illustrated book of characters from the movies and eu stuff. there were a couple characters who seemed kind of cool but even in the official lucas-approved media 90% of the eu characters sounded goofy as gently caress. to a child. oh speaking of video games, can we talk about masters of teras kasi? it had it all, lovely virtua fighter aping gameplay, lightsabers you could bonk on people 20 times before they fell down, and an eu character who was basically just "lovely knockoff boba fett"
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Nov 24, 2014 17:38
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shiksa posted:because george lucas is a sperg control freak idiot who got free reign on a media empire. I really enjoyed that game, Darth Vader just poo poo on everyone so he was basically easy mode.
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Nov 24, 2014 17:40
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http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Luke_Skywalker http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Luuke_Skywalker http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Luuuke_Skywalker
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Nov 24, 2014 17:55
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shiksa posted:because george lucas is a sperg control freak idiot who got free reign on a media empire. George Lucas makes sense once you realize he's basically 5 years old
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Nov 24, 2014 17:57
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The x-wing books were okay especially the ones by Aaron Allston. I think it was because Lucas didn't really care that much about them so they were allowed go their own way. Mike Stackpol, the other author, also wrote I, Jedi which was supposed to 'fix' KJA's trilogy but was really Clash of the Mary Sues. Still, it was funny reading Corran ripping Luke a new one for allowing an emotionally damaged teenager anywhere near the ghost of a dead Sithlord and the Mary Sue ship.
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Nov 24, 2014 18:18
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The People vs George Lucas is a very entertaining documentary about how fandom creates a sense of ownership of a franchise, especially when the original creator's work goes downhill. It has Tony Millionaire in it.     
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Nov 24, 2014 18:26
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Chomp8645 posted:George likes getting involved. I'm pretty fond of this story from the Lucas Arts studio's post-mortem. I dunno loving with dorks who think a buzzcut angry ORIGINAL CHARACTER bitchlord is a good protagonist seems pretty ace.  "But he did not say it was a joke after that, how could I tell?" this is a fandom that routinely compares being dissatisfied with movies to being raped and writes thousands of words about JIZZ MUSIC and that wolf guy from the cantina; lucas was right selling the whole shebang to a giant corporation and ensuring that it never gets into the public domain because gently caress you
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Nov 24, 2014 18:42
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Wilford Brimley in a lovely Ewok movie.
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Nov 24, 2014 20:13
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Nov 24, 2014 20:57
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icantfindaname posted:post the poo poo where Han Solo fights the giant weasels or whatever They're called Selonians.  Aesop Poprock posted:Haha I am almost certain he either almost hosed one or used to date one of them as well During the First Corellian Insurrection, the female Selonian Dracmus was captured by Thrackan Sal-Solo, the leader of the Human League. She gave him a promise that she would not attempt to escape, and as Selonians could not easily break their promises, Thrackan trusted her. He allowed her to be removed from her cell and fight his cousin Han Solo. However, Han was familiar with Mandaba, the Seloian language, and was able to convince Dracmus to go easy on him during the fight without Thrackan catching on. Though he was battered and knocked unconscious, he won Dracmus's trust. The two were placed in the same cell following the battle, to the amusement of Thrackan. The two talked about the massive interdiction field that prevented anyone from leaving or entering the Corellian System in hyperspace, and possible escape plans. When the Hunchuzuc Den staged a rescue by digging through the floor, Solo was allowed to come along. Dracmus and Solo then traveled deep into the Selonian Tunnels under Corellia, into areas which Dracmus acknowledged no non-Selonian had ever seen. The two crawled through the tunnels for days, eventually boarding a primitive Selonian cone ship to take them to Selonia. Dracmus revealed to Solo that the Hunchuzuc Den was one of a handful of rebel clans fighting against the Selonian Overden, which sought independence from the New Republic. The Overden and the Hunchuzuc Den were involved in a dispute that was part military confrontation, part debate, and part public relations. The two were joined by Salculd, who piloted the Selonian vessel. The coneship traveled through the system to Selonia, where they encountered the ship Jade's Fire, piloted by Mara Jade and Leia Organa Solo, Han's wife. However, they also were met by Overden LAF-250 starfighters. The coneship, outdated and lacking any weapons of sufficient shields, was severely damaged. Thanks to Han's mechanical genius, they managed to survive a controlled crash. Once on the planet, the Humans learned that the Overden had discovered the all-important planetary repulsor, giving them victory. Dracmus attempted to negotiate with the Overden. The key representative for the Overden was a female by the name of Kleyvits. However, as her side had control of the repulsor, Kleyvits was in a position to make demands—specifically, Selonian independence. The three Humans were kept as captives and questioned for a time, but together they reasoned that the Overden must have had outside help to control the repulsor. During one of their interrogations, Han questioned Kleyvits about who was operating the repulsor. Kleyvits was unable to answer, to the shock of Dracmus, who seized upon the opportunity and demanded to know. Kleyvits revealed that her allies were the Selonians of the Sacorrian Triad, who had been exiled generations ago. The fact that the exiles were helping completely destroyed the Overden's credibility and shifted the balance of power. Dracmus now had the upper hand, as the Sacorrian Selonians had been utterly dishonored among their exile, and it was a shame to be associated with them. During the Battle of Centerpoint Station a short time later, Dracmus was in heated negotiations with the Selonians of the Triad, another delicate public relations battle, to persuade them to hand over control of the Selonian repulsor. However, the process was too slow, prompting the trader Mara Jade to make a suggestion: a bribe. With a hefty bribe, she was able to convince the Selonians to part with the instructions for the repulsor, allowing young Anakin Solo and a team of Bakuran engineers to fire the planetary repulsor on Drall and prevent Centerpoint Station from destroying another star. The Triad and the Overden (and their ally, Thrackan) had lost. Corellia remained a part of the New Republic, thanks to the Solos, Luke Skywalker, Gaeriel Captison and the Bakuran fleet and Dracmus.
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Nov 24, 2014 21:09
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suspicious donkey! posted:so why did that r2 unit have a bad motivator?? i need to know the epic back story http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Skippy_the_Jedi_Droid
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Nov 24, 2014 21:12
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people have somehow been deceived into placing feces on their bookshelves and that is the sw eu
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Nov 24, 2014 23:48
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Applewhite posted:Allegedly it comes into its own around season three or whatever, and has won some awards but I've never been able to make it that far to verify for myself. no i heard that too so i decided to tune in one night to watch an episode. a bunch of the boba fetts were on some planet fighting that racist alien from the diner in the second prequel, except he was an evil jedi for some reason and he had two double-bladed lightsabers lol. some of the boba fetts died and we were supposed to be sad even though they had no personality and all looked exactly the same. it was poo poo fatherboxx posted:I dunno loving with dorks who think a buzzcut angry ORIGINAL CHARACTER bitchlord is a good protagonist seems pretty ace. i probably hate george lucas more than anyone in this thread and even i can tell he was loving with those dorks. lol at anyone who uses that as a reason to hate lucas, as opposed to the thousand actual legitimate reasons that exist.
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Nov 25, 2014 00:09
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Willrow Hood decided to take it easy.
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Nov 25, 2014 01:01
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Arian_Samurai posted:http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Luke_Skywalker jesus christ
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Nov 25, 2014 01:03
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Cnut the Great posted:i probably hate george lucas more than anyone in this thread and even i can tell he was loving with those dorks. lol at anyone who uses that as a reason to hate lucas, as opposed to the thousand actual legitimate reasons that exist. $4.05 billion And all he did was direct 2 of the originals (there's a reason Empire is the best of the 3), sit on his fat rear end and let the cash roll in, then decided he wanted more and made the prequels.
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Nov 25, 2014 01:05
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Dely Apple posted:Wow even the blue elephant guy had a name
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Nov 25, 2014 01:08
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babypolis posted:jesus christ jesuus christ
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Nov 25, 2014 01:12
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quote:http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Breast :zooming stare face into the sun:
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Nov 25, 2014 02:03
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gohuskies posted:They're called Selonians. I withdraw my submission. This is the worst.
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Nov 25, 2014 02:13
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boba fett is stupid and useless
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Nov 25, 2014 02:25
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Gaunab posted:boba fett is stupid and useless Yeah but he looks cool and looking cool is literally 85% of the reason anyone likes Star Wars for any reason.
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Nov 25, 2014 02:32
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Gaunab posted:boba fett is stupid and useless boba fett is an even worse jobber than loving vegeta. that is saying something.
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Nov 25, 2014 02:40
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mind the walrus posted:Oh is that why KOTOR 2 is so highly regarded? I was in a busy place when it came out and heard mixed things (this was well before the patches) so I never checked it out, but if it's a takedown of the EU I could definitely make time for it now. if you understandably don't wanna figure out the eu stuff it's basically planescape torment in space
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Nov 25, 2014 02:41
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have we talked about how in courtship of princess leia, she wanted some dick from a prince with an eight pack so han basically kidnapped her and dragged her to a planet to make her fall back in love with him but the planet had a witch with a bunch of rancors so luke had to come save the day and han was tortured by having all his teeth broken? because in retrospect that book is hosed up
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Nov 25, 2014 02:48
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FizFashizzle posted:have we talked about how in courtship of princess leia, she wanted some dick from a prince with an eight pack so han basically kidnapped her and dragged her to a planet to make her fall back in love with him but the planet had a witch with a bunch of rancors so luke had to come save the day and han was tortured by having all his teeth broken? I think it's worse than that, I think Han even drugged or mind-controlled her somehow at some point. Edit: Yeah he mind-controlled her when she didn't want to get with him, this is date rape The Gun of Command was a high-tech weapon from the planet Charubah in the Hapes Cluster. The gun was more dangerous than almost any other weapon because it made victims unable to distinguish between their own thoughts and the enemy's, allowing the Hapans to control them. The guns worked by releasing an electromagnetic wave field which disabled the victim's thought processes. Once affected, the victim would follow any simple command given, even blatantly suicidal ones. In fact, the Gun of Command was used as a form of execution, where the condemned male (no females were executed on Hapes under any circumstances) would be shot with the weapon, then handed a blaster and ordered to take his own life. The rulers of the Hapes Cluster presented Princess Leia Organa with 63 treasures from their worlds, including the Gun of Command. Han Solo used the gun to force Leia to run away with him to the planet of Dathomir, then removed the circuitry on the barrel, rendering it useless to Leia when she thought to use it against him once she realized what he had done. Edit 2: Wow this is kind of hosed up about the author's family: Though Han's stalkerish behavior and his willingness to kidnap Leia received criticism from readers, Dave Wolverton, in an interview with Jedi Council Forums member Doug McCausland, described Han's behavior as him regressing to his scoundrel spice smuggling days under heavy stress, reversion being a psychological defense mechanism Wolverton saw in his own children at the time. gohuskies fucked around with this message at 02:56 on Nov 25, 2014 |
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Nov 25, 2014 02:50
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gohuskies posted:I think it's worse than that, I think Han even drugged or mind-controlled her somehow at some point. yeah he literally had a mind control rape gun he used on the girl he professed love to
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Nov 25, 2014 02:51
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natetimm posted:I withdraw my submission. This is the worst. 
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Nov 25, 2014 02:58
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god i remember so much stupid poo poo at one point leia was held captive and the way they kept her down was spiking her drinking water with a drug that just made her want to lay around and like, do nothing, man honestly that sounds pretty great.
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Nov 25, 2014 03:04
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There are mind-boggling reams of EU material that make the Christmas Special look like Empire.
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Nov 25, 2014 03:07
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Empty Sandwich posted:There are mind-boggling reams of EU material that make the Christmas Special look like Empire. yet neither the christmas special nor any of the eu poo poo is as bad as episode 2
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Nov 25, 2014 03:08
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like i can't think of anything specific but kevin j anderson was consistently the worst author i've ever seen published.
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Nov 25, 2014 03:10
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