We love the StarWars EU this much *outstretched arms nailed to Luu'uks X-Wing*

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > We love the StarWars EU this much *outstretched arms nailed to Luu'uks X-Wing*

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Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

is it this?

it might be these guys

could it be this? was this a real character?

actually it's probably this

you might be thinking it's this

trick question nerds, it's actually all of it, it's all terrible :owned:

# ¿ Nov 24, 2014 05:12

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# ¿ May 16, 2024 14:11

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

Dianetics posted:

Does the fact that I have no idea what any of this stuff is make me a better person than the OP?

reverse trick question, the EU is cool as gently caress, revan forever :owned:

# ¿ Nov 24, 2014 05:36

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

gohuskies posted:

KOTOR 2 is better than anything outside of (and maybe including?) the original trilogy

agreed, but it's a catch-22 because you have to be familiar with the EU to really appreciate how hard KOTOR2 is trashing it

# ¿ Nov 24, 2014 07:32

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

babypolis posted:

jesus christ

jesuus christ

# ¿ Nov 25, 2014 01:12

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

The first person to correctly list the number of times boba fett has fallen into and subsequently escaped the sarlacc wins a prize

^{the prize is shame}

# ¿ Nov 25, 2014 21:38

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

Sombrerotron posted:

and probably Atton Rand (who is extremely angsty and unfunny).

Atton Rand was great. He was a smuggler who was a stupid rear end in a top hat that everybody hated. He was the anti-Han Solo.

# ¿ Nov 26, 2014 06:08

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

Chomp8645 posted:

No you're completely wrong! Come on now, that's not the reality of the situation at all.

Having spoken lines is not a requirement. Simply appearing in frame somewhere at some time will suffice.

Please post the 20-novel series someone has written about all the guys at the conference table in the first star wars that just kinda awkwardly sat around while vader choked that guy that mouthed off to him, tia

# ¿ Nov 27, 2014 06:19

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

ManMythLegend posted:

I can't believe they wasted drew struzan's time with that poo poo

# ¿ Nov 27, 2014 06:44

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

Happy life day everyone

# ¿ Nov 27, 2014 20:13

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

Blistex posted:

Does Jabba's monkey have a backstory?

Uhhh yeah, the infamous Salacious Crumb has a backstory :rolleyes:

# ¿ Nov 28, 2014 02:10

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

gohuskies posted:

It could be made out of cortosis, you know.

I hate that I immediately thought the same thing :negative:

also I don't think lightsabers slide off of each other or whatever the way real swords do so i think it's just to meant look cool, i mean obviously guys

# ¿ Nov 28, 2014 22:10

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

Sombrerotron posted:

What always annoys me about cortosis is that my first exposure to it was Zahn's Vision of the Future, and there's it's described not only as a rare material, but as one that - as dog buttz says - actually causes lightsabers to shut down upon contact. Even so, the material gets damaged by the brief touch of the blade before it disappears; it's not actually lightsaber-proof or even particularly resistant. Yet in everything else I've encountered where cortosis is used, it's just some kind of super-hard substance that lightsabers either can't cut through at all, or at least not without great difficulty. This inconsistency makes me an upset nerd !!

i literally thought it only existed because KOTOR needed a melee weapons tier below 'lightsaber'

# ¿ Nov 29, 2014 03:27

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

RFC2324 posted:

some people deserve cancer

do people get cancer in star wars

surely some EU writer snuck it in somewhere to add grittiness to his dark jedi novels

# ¿ Nov 30, 2014 07:45

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

david... posted:

do fans count as eu

It's the same fans who grew up adoring Star Wars that are now creating EU material so yes

Which is why KOTOR2 owns, it was written out of spite

# ¿ Dec 2, 2014 01:50

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

burritolingus posted:

The official, canon explanation for this is that Lucas wrote episode 2 over the course of an afternoon and they never went beyond a first draft.

It's kind of mind-blowing that a movie that cost tens of millions of dollars was literally shot using the first pass of a rough draft of the script. I mean, I guess everyone figured they were getting a paycheck and selling a billion toys anyway, so gently caress it.

# ¿ Dec 3, 2014 06:31

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

I've always wondered what's the deal with those three random alien guys palpatine is hanging out with in every scene in the prequel. Are they other senators? Do they work for him? Why did he invite them to the space opera? Are they all friends? Is there an EU comic book where they all hang out?

# ¿ Dec 3, 2014 09:19

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

Woolie Wool posted:

I wonder if that ridiculous stereotypical drug dealer with the stupid name from Episode II has an EU backstory.

Holy poo poo, I was literally going to mention sleazebaggano after i read otisburg's post :wth:

is this...is this what it's like to meet your soulmate?

# ¿ Dec 4, 2014 07:15

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

ThePutty posted:

can someone explain the u-tsang vong for me or whatever the gently caress they're called because they seem really stupid and nobody has really gone into why

imagine aliens so evil that they're not even dark side, they're anti-the force

and they're so mysterious that they're not just from a remote planet, they're from a different galaxy entirely

also they all look like extras from one of the hellraiser sequels

oh and their ships are made of skin or something??

# ¿ Dec 4, 2014 07:29

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

I like that they made sure she didn't actually look like she wasn't enjoying it

# ¿ Dec 6, 2014 18:19

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

IAmThatIs posted:

Real talk though the best thing to come out of Star Wars is Battlefront 1 & 2

battlefront 2 was garbage because it became less about learning to get good at certain classes than it was "the jedi wins"

also the space levels and vehicles were terrible

also they took away the ability to death star planets in galactic conquest mode

also they ruined galactic conquest mode in general

# ¿ Dec 8, 2014 00:56

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

Well from my point of view the Jedi arrrrnnnnnNNGGGGHHHH

# ¿ Dec 8, 2014 23:16

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

homullus posted:

Best part of the EU, or worst? (NSFW)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVJjP2Jsj1g

serious question, was anyone able to see both the title and preview image of this video and still bring yourself to actually click play

# ¿ Dec 13, 2014 06:55

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

Do most authors operate under a specific canon

Like is the last tycoon an official part of the gatsbyverse or an elseworlds tale or what

# ¿ Dec 13, 2014 18:02

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

McPhearson posted:

In ESB they try to recruit Luke to the dark side, but how does that work with the whole only two sith at a time thing? My immersion!

if clone wars is still canon then there's also that bald sith lady kicking around

basically there was zero thought put into it and i think they've tried to retcon it to be a metaphorical rule of two or an honorarium or whatever

btw i started watching the clone wars and it's mostly bad but i've legitimately enjoyed some of the episodes, i've become the very thing i started this thread to make fun of
:negative:

# ¿ Dec 15, 2014 05:14

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

Otisburg posted:

no, you see thrawn did not have the power of battle meditation himself, he employed the services of the clone dark jedi joruus cibath, being sure to keep a bunch of force-voiding space weasels around him at all time (not the kind han solo made love to, a different kind of space weasel) as a hedge should joruus turn on him

From a few pages back, but this is easily the most EU sentence I've ever read. It features a character not in the movies using the secret ultra-powerful Force abilities of a clone of a character not in the movies and using anti-Force powers from a creature not mentioned in the movies that is different from a similar creature Han Solo hosed, and it all takes place inside of a scene in Return of the Jedi. This is peak EU.

# ¿ Dec 15, 2014 22:57

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

Like you could be watching any scene in Star Wars and if the camera moved like one room over you're going to have Boba Fett's Jedi clone fighting Darth Vader's secret apprentice and the little bat guy from the cantina for the fate of the galaxy

# ¿ Dec 15, 2014 23:02

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

That monster that grabs Luke in the trash compactor wasn't just some random creature, it was Ancient Jedi Master Striss Goblai, and as soon as he grabbed Luke's leg he realized that he was holding the fate of the galaxy in his tentacle and released him, and also he trained Yoda

# ¿ Dec 15, 2014 23:05

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

At first I was relieved that starship troopers tactical realism chat was over but if you nerds are just gonna start talking about battlestar galactica instead then bring on the power armor and unisex showers

# ¿ Dec 19, 2014 10:02

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

Happy Bear Suit posted:

The dumbest EU moment was when they made the Wampa (the Yeti-looking thing) that got his hand cut of by Luke Skywalker, to be force-sensitive. Then, this Wampa, fuelled by his eternal rage, vowed on a quest of vengeance to destroy Luke Skywalker. His pure Dark-Side hatred caught the attention of Darth D'ooki, who took on this Wampa as his apprentice, and named him Darth One-Hand. And his missing hand got replaced by a lightsaber chainsaw.

That was pretty dumb.

While you're joking, there is an EU story where Luke has to return to Hoth years later for some reason and meets up with that very same wampa, who both remembers him and seeks revenge :angel:

# ¿ Dec 19, 2014 20:53

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

spacemang_spliff posted:

is robit chicken considered EU?

it's bad enough to be

# ¿ Dec 21, 2014 20:25

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

I'm still watching the clone wars and it's funny how many characters they use from Episode III, and not just like anakin or whatever but like the random jedi masters who get killed and cody, the clone who shoots at obi wan

it really takes a lot of tension out of the scene when you know that absolutely nothing of consequence will happen to any of the named characters, they've literally had general grievious fight anakin or obi wan half a dozen times thus far for no reason, and conversely the 4-5 times they had some random jedi or soldier show up that wasn't from a movie it's almost guaranteed he'll be dead by the end of that episode

having said that i'm starting to enjoy it despite myself, i really am everything i hate about star wars fans :negative:

# ¿ Dec 27, 2014 05:41

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

His Wookieepedia entry is over 10,000 words long

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Lumpawaroo

# ¿ Dec 27, 2014 06:48

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

Fetus Tree posted:

Probably cheaper and easier to build a protocol droid than an astromech

don't try to justify this poo poo fetus tree

# ¿ Dec 27, 2014 07:19

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

dog buttz posted:

It wouldn't surprise me if he did try to prevent him considering if I remember correctly, he had no faith in Vader and pretty much saw him as the ultimate failure.

edit: Also I kinda agree and disagree with you. The way they're shown and described, all the jedi were surrounded by clones when the order was given. However, it would be pretty easy for a Jedi anywhere with civilians to survive considering all you have to do is ditch the clones, ditch the robes, and blend in for a few minutes.

I thought it was pretty hilarious that the Jedi are all unstoppable lightsaber ninjas up to that point and then they all just kinda get shot down effortlessly, and the only one who gets any kind of Force warning or whatever is Yoda

I mean you'd think that one Jedi master guy with the big cone head would have put up more of a fight than lazily blocking one shot with his sword or w/e

# ¿ Dec 27, 2014 19:56

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

That's not them, the skeleton army happened to be raiding through the area and Ben+Beru took two out before being captured and dragged off. Empire was framed.

i'm willing to bet there is a literal skeleton race in the EU somewhere

i mean we already have werewolf man and that other cantina guy who was some kind of vampire

# ¿ Dec 29, 2014 07:07

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

If you guys turn this into another SMG thread I will lose my poo poo :mad:

Instead can we talk about Savage Opress

# ¿ Dec 30, 2014 22:22

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

muscles like this? posted:

Those immortal Force people showed up on an episode of The Clone Wars. Which was mostly notable for getting Liam Neeson back to voice Qui Gon's force ghost.

I just watched this and thought "Wow that guy is doing a spot-on Liam Neeson impression"

Kinda surprising they got him considering he refused to be a Force ghost for like twenty seconds in Episode III

# ¿ Jan 2, 2015 19:04

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

Moola posted:

yeah its supes dumb

I think a lot of writers just don't understand how loving big a galaxy is

See also: the entire clone army fighting a galaxy-wide war that lasts several consists of a few million people

# ¿ Jan 3, 2015 08:21

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

Iseeyouseemeseeyou posted:

hahaha i am trying to watch the cartoon series and they got some fuckin jamaican guy to voice kit fisto

it's the guy who voices the bureaucrat in futurama i think

# ¿ Jan 3, 2015 23:12

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# ¿ May 16, 2024 14:11

Wolfsheim: Dec 23, 2003; "Ah," Ratz had said, at last, "the artiste."

Calico Heart posted:

the rogue one concept art looks like they want to do some kind of downbeat loving star was Nam movie

https://uk.yahoo.com/movies/star-wars-rogue-one-concept-art-detailed-113776076869.html

fortunate sun crusher

If it ends up literally being Apocalypse Now set in Star Wars then I will officially forgive the prequels, EU and everything else. Bonus points considering Apocalypse Now was originally supposed to be directed by George until he dropped out.

# ¿ Mar 19, 2015 06:26

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > We love the StarWars EU this much *outstretched arms nailed to Luu'uks X-Wing*

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