December Veteran Thread For Satan

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tyler: Jun 2, 2014

# ¿ Dec 1, 2014 09:05

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# ¿ May 23, 2024 12:20

tyler: Jun 2, 2014

Get the gently caress out.

# ¿ Dec 1, 2014 09:07

tyler: Jun 2, 2014

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sg-vgGuTD8A

# ¿ Dec 1, 2014 09:37

tyler: Jun 2, 2014

Shia Labouf was good in Lawless. If you haven't watched it, it's on Netflix. Fix it.

# ¿ Dec 2, 2014 06:45

tyler: Jun 2, 2014

This is a good first page.

# ¿ Dec 2, 2014 22:52

tyler: Jun 2, 2014

# ¿ Dec 2, 2014 23:14

tyler: Jun 2, 2014

gently caress grenades. The only time I was legit scared during training was when we had to cook off a grenade.

# ¿ Dec 4, 2014 22:04

tyler: Jun 2, 2014

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

Yet another training event that I would like to see safety plan write up for. You'd need a signature from way up the food chain if cooking off grenades was legit part of the training plan.

Yeah I highly doubt it got the okay from anyone above E-7.

# ¿ Dec 4, 2014 22:18

tyler: Jun 2, 2014

Cooking the live grenade was just my squad if I remember correctly. But cooking training grenades was required for knocking out a bunker for you EIB. It is in the 7-8

E: wrong FM I'm dumb.

tyler fucked around with this message at 07:31 on Dec 5, 2014

# ¿ Dec 5, 2014 07:24

tyler: Jun 2, 2014

# ¿ Dec 5, 2014 07:37

tyler: Jun 2, 2014

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

You're triggering me. That's the old ROTC bible.

That is the infantry Bible in general.

# ¿ Dec 5, 2014 16:13

tyler: Jun 2, 2014

Everyone knows that slow cookers are for making cannabutter.

# ¿ Dec 6, 2014 21:53

tyler: Jun 2, 2014

FAT SLAMPIG posted:

hahahahahhahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

# ¿ Dec 9, 2014 01:53

tyler: Jun 2, 2014

That's what MRE boxes are for.

# ¿ Dec 10, 2014 08:08

tyler: Jun 2, 2014

Stanley Goodspeed posted:

One of my proudest military moments was having to take a huge poo poo on guard and we didn't have anything convenient to leave it in since we were on one of those ghetto get everyone killed COPs you'd find in Afghanistan circa-2007, so I cut a square foot of parachute silk off our guard post and poo poo onto that. Wrapped that turd up like a cross between Christmas and Chipotle and slung it down the hill. Didn't think anything of it until a couple weeks later when some dipshit fell asleep on guard and had extra duty to police up the perimeter - I guess he grabbed the corner of my Amazon frustration-free packaged poo poo shipment because that log leapt free right down his leg.

Nothing like the MRAP full of liquid poo poo from the Marines thread but lol I still got to poo poo on someone.

# ¿ Dec 10, 2014 09:10

tyler: Jun 2, 2014

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

gently caress, I'll say it. There are only two genders.

# ¿ Dec 10, 2014 20:43

tyler: Jun 2, 2014

So what exactly do those groups do then?

# ¿ Dec 10, 2014 20:58

tyler: Jun 2, 2014

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

Volunteer Boy: That doesn't look very scary. More like a six-foot hambeast.

Dr. Alan Grant: A hambeast, huh? OK, try to imagine yourself in Berkeley. You get your first look at this "six foot hambeast" as you enter a clearing. Xe moves like an elephant, lumbering, wheezing, mopping xer head. And you keep still because you think that maybe xis visual acuity is based on movement like cishets - he'll lose you if you don't move. But no, not Polysexor. You stare at xer, and xe just stares right back. And that's when the attack comes. Not from the front, but from the side,

[makes 'whoshing' sound]

Dr. Alan Grant: from the other two polysexers you didn't even know were there. Because polysexer's a pack hunter, you see, xe uses coordinated attack patterns and xe is out in force today. And he slashes at you with this...
[he produces a smartphone from his pocket]

Dr. Alan Grant: A blog of "undeafeatable arguments" and illogical hate, like nails on a chalkboard, in xer sweaty paw. He doesn't bother to debate you like a civilized person, say... no no. He shrieks at you here, or here...

[he lightly tongues the boy's ear, and twists his natural sexual organs]

Dr. Ellie Sattler: Oh, Alan...

Dr. Alan Grant: Or maybe you fight back and the group starts screaming rape as a trump card. The point is, you are alive when they doxx you, your lose your job, and the police finally come. So you know, try to show a little respect.

Volunteer Boy: OK.

# ¿ Dec 10, 2014 23:12

tyler: Jun 2, 2014

nwin posted:

What's with all the 'xe' and 'xir' poo poo?

Not everyone falls in to your standard two genders you loving philistine.

# ¿ Dec 12, 2014 00:01

tyler: Jun 2, 2014

Books don't die.

# ¿ Dec 12, 2014 02:09

tyler: Jun 2, 2014

Bust a deal, face the wheel!

# ¿ Dec 12, 2014 05:25

tyler: Jun 2, 2014

I am attracted to chicks that will I will never see again.

# ¿ Dec 12, 2014 08:57

tyler: Jun 2, 2014

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

See that little tip at the top? They sell fake cum that pumps out of it.

You're welcome for that mental image.

Can I use your rewards points?

# ¿ Dec 13, 2014 01:32

tyler: Jun 2, 2014

pkells posted:

Just finished my senior design presentation, which means after 11 years split between school, military, then school again, I'll finally be graduating college this Monday.

And I was just offered a civil engineering job I was hoping for in Charleston, SC starting in January, which means I get to relax and do nothing for the next month or so besides make a trip up to Boston for the holidays.

Being a vet rules.

# ¿ Dec 13, 2014 02:44

tyler: Jun 2, 2014

MaxPowers posted:

Because it was easier to do that than the paperwork to send it back states side. Someone mentioned how they slept roughly two miles away from their burn pit. Ours was less than 200 feet in marjah. I cant wait to be 80 with all sorts of cancers.

Yeah our tiny patrol base had a huge burn pit. Cancer crew checking in.

# ¿ Dec 14, 2014 19:27

tyler: Jun 2, 2014

Stanley Goodspeed posted:

Where's the links to all those posts that I think Deathy McDeath read out loud?

http://216.86.148.111/showthread.php?threadid=3577577

# ¿ Dec 20, 2014 20:20

tyler: Jun 2, 2014

pkells posted:

Beer chat: I'm driving up from SC to MA this weekend, and decided to stop by the original Dogfish Head Brewpub in Delaware. Got a hotel a block away, so I'm getting hammered on crazy beers tonight