Dumb Marketing Moves: Tell me about Zoos

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Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Fuckin' turtle tracheotomies bro

# ? Mar 10, 2024 06:18

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# ? May 3, 2024 14:30

Screaming Idiot: Nov 26, 2007; JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.

BMan posted:

My straws go to the landfill, what are YOU doing with your straws?

Sounding

# ? Mar 10, 2024 07:32

Sentient Data: Aug 31, 2011; My molecule scrambler ray will disintegrate your armor with one blow!

E: nah, that would just be a derail

# ? Mar 10, 2024 07:47

littleratbastard: Aug 18, 2018

BMan posted:

My straws go to the landfill, what are YOU doing with your straws?

I keep my straws in a big bed with my wife

# ? Mar 10, 2024 07:49

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
PLANT MORE TREES
CLEAN THE SEAS
KISS TITTIESS

I use mine to inhale two spaghetti meals in one day

# ? Mar 10, 2024 07:58

Kwyndig: Sep 23, 2006; Heeeeeey

But then you can't slurp your noodles! That's one of the little joys in life.

# ? Mar 10, 2024 08:04

Red Oktober: May 24, 2006; wiggly eyes!

And bringing things full circle, you can get drinking straws made out of pasta.

Downside is they�re around 10x as expensive as paper ones, at around 10p each.

# ? Mar 10, 2024 08:43

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Facebook Aunt posted:

Yeah, but but it's burning stuff we already aren't going to recycle. You could make an argument for sequestering the carbon by burying the trash, but we aren't going to do that either. Plastics you burn don't turn into micro plastics or join the pacific garbage patch, instead turning into much smaller trash and airborne carbon.

It's actually kind of amazing and still a mystery to scientists how plastic can travel thousands of miles and still find its way home

# ? Mar 10, 2024 10:30

Teriyaki Hairpiece: Dec 29, 2006; I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.

I have a plastic straw habit that I try to hide from my loved ones

# ? Mar 10, 2024 13:20

Crescent Wrench: Sep 30, 2005; The truth is usually just an excuse for a lack of imagination.; Grimey Drawer

I remember when I was a kid telling my little brother about how you were supposed to cut open all the circles on those plastic six-pack rings so turtles didn't get caught and strangled. He just got this confused look on his face and asked "Why are people throwing them in the ocean?"

# ? Mar 10, 2024 14:05

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Because it sweeps the sea clean, Lisa!

# ? Mar 10, 2024 14:34

SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL: Feb 21, 2006; Holy Moly! DARKSEID IS!

I just toss my single use plastic straws into recycling :confused:

# ? Mar 10, 2024 18:44

Phanatic: Mar 13, 2007; Please don't forget that I am an extremely racist idiot who also has terrible opinions about the Culture series.

SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL posted:

I just toss my single use plastic straws into recycling

If you throw plastic into your recycling bin in America, what happens to it is mostly one of three things:

1. It gets commingled with the regular waste stream in your city and goes to a landfill or gets burned at a trash-to-steam plant because plastic isn't economical to recycle in the US and trying to do so is a net loss both economically and environmentally.
2. It gets shipped overseas to someone in a poorer country who has claimed they can recycle it economically (and the people saying "Sounds good to us!" have never engaged in the sort of analysis where you consider the environmental effects of putting your trash on a big ship and sailing that ship across the ocean so someone can turn your plastic straws into park benches and then shipping the park benches back across the ocean so you can put them in a park and say "See? We're helping!"). During some periods of time, they can, during some periods of time, they can't, and during the times they can't it sits on pallets by the local river which periodically floods and washes it out to sea.

Basically no plastic from the US *directly* winds up in the ocean, oceanborne plastic comes mainly from rivers in Asia, but the plastic in Asia frequently comes from richer countries who for one reason or another want to participate in the illusion that recycling plastic makes environmental sense. China at least had the good sense to refuse to keep taking our plastic garbage off our hands, but others still do it. If you don't want your plastic straws ending up in turtle nostrils, just throw them in the trash.

# ? Mar 10, 2024 18:56

Tunicate: May 15, 2012

Sequester carbon, put your petroproducts in landfills

# ? Mar 10, 2024 21:36

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

�When I cut up six pack rings, they call me a saint. When I ask why six pack rings end up in the ocean, they call me a communist.�

# ? Mar 10, 2024 22:00

Buttchocks: Oct 21, 2020; No, I like my hat, thanks.

Just make beverages into sliceable solids that you can eat with your fingers.

# ? Mar 11, 2024 02:11

Kwyndig: Sep 23, 2006; Heeeeeey

Ice is messy

# ? Mar 11, 2024 02:18

Facebook Aunt: Oct 4, 2008; wiggle wiggle

Brawnfire posted:

Fuckin' turtle tracheotomies bro

I can't wait for some future tv/movie improvised tracheotomy where they grab a straw but then 2 minutes later the guy is chocking again because the flimsy straw collapsed.

Has anybody got a ballpoint pen? Everyone pats their pockets and mumbles about just taking notes with their phone.

The day is saved when it turns out one guy has a ~~crack pipe~~ gas station rose in glass.

# ? Mar 11, 2024 02:24

Croccers: Jun 15, 2012

Phanatic posted:

If you throw plastic into your recycling bin in America, what happens to it is mostly one of three things:

1. It gets commingled with the regular waste stream in your city and goes to a landfill or gets burned at a trash-to-steam plant because plastic isn't economical to recycle in the US and trying to do so is a net loss both economically and environmentally.
2. It gets shipped overseas to someone in a poorer country who has claimed they can recycle it economically (and the people saying "Sounds good to us!" have never engaged in the sort of analysis where you consider the environmental effects of putting your trash on a big ship and sailing that ship across the ocean so someone can turn your plastic straws into park benches and then shipping the park benches back across the ocean so you can put them in a park and say "See? We're helping!"). During some periods of time, they can, during some periods of time, they can't, and during the times they can't it sits on pallets by the local river which periodically floods and washes it out to sea.

Basically no plastic from the US *directly* winds up in the ocean, oceanborne plastic comes mainly from rivers in Asia, but the plastic in Asia frequently comes from richer countries who for one reason or another want to participate in the illusion that recycling plastic makes environmental sense. China at least had the good sense to refuse to keep taking our plastic garbage off our hands, but others still do it. If you don't want your plastic straws ending up in turtle nostrils, just throw them in the trash.

Australia had an very low key underreported recycling crisis starting in 2018 a while back because China stopped taking out trash.

Then the major soft-recycling company went under in in 2022 because the lack of infrastructure. Also it was revealed they had warehouses crammed full of soft plastics.

But it's ok, we'll just grow some plastic eating fungi instead :confused:

That'll fix the issue!

It's gotten so bad that corporate overlord Mondelez is stepping in. :sigh:

# ? Mar 11, 2024 02:55

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Buttchocks posted:

Just make beverages into sliceable solids that you can eat with your fingers.

Cranberries keep winning.

# ? Mar 11, 2024 03:34

I Miss Snausages: Mar 8, 2005; Volvorific!

Tiggum posted:

Buy ten things, put each in its own bag, save a dollar?

The store we go to has full time baggers so if they use 5 of your bags, you get 50 cents off.

# ? Mar 11, 2024 04:51

PhazonLink: Jul 17, 2010

Facebook Aunt posted:

I can't wait for some future tv/movie improvised tracheotomy where they grab a straw but then 2 minutes later the guy is chocking again because the flimsy straw collapsed.

Has anybody got a ballpoint pen? Everyone pats their pockets and mumbles about just taking notes with their phone.

The day is saved when it turns out one guy has a ~~crack pipe~~ gas station rose in glass.

i dunno, isnt it a low key social media fad to do things analog?

"any one have a pen?"

"i have a 200$ fountain pen of NICEBRAND"

"nice, but im not breaking that for this guy. sorry guy you'll gonna die because no one here has a cheap pen.(also i wont use my pilot metro even though theyre 20$)"

# ? Mar 11, 2024 06:29

Tunicate: May 15, 2012

My favorite accidental obscure forum find was stumbling upon one devoted to turning snakeskins into pens. Like, the skin from literal actual snakes on the outside.

I mean snakes have cool patterns but no idea that was a big enough niche for a community

# ? Mar 11, 2024 16:52

Blue Footed Booby: Oct 4, 2006; got those happy feet

PhazonLink posted:

i dunno, isnt it a low key social media fad to do things analog?

"any one have a pen?"

"i have a 200$ fountain pen of NICEBRAND"

"nice, but im not breaking that for this guy. sorry guy you'll gonna die because no one here has a cheap pen.(also i wont use my pilot metro even though theyre 20$)"

IME it's less a social media fad and more a thing some people are into, and talk about on social media because single-topic forums are dead and their irl friends don't care. There's reddit, but that has its own problems.

# ? Mar 11, 2024 16:56

bobjr: Oct 16, 2012; Roose is loose.
🐓🐓🐓✊🪧

https://twitter.com/MorePerfectUS/status/1767241511522193766

Wendy�s execs upset they got all the attention

# ? Mar 11, 2024 19:50

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

lmao at the cited WSJ article desperately trying to sell this as anything but naked greed that even the marketing sociopaths know nobody likes.

https://www.wsj.com/business/hospitality/surge-pricing-is-coming-to-more-menus-near-you-66a245f3 posted:

If you are hungry for barbecue on a Saturday night this month, a delivery of a pulled-pork sandwich from Cali BBQ could cost you around $18.

Or you could hold off a few days and order the same sandwich delivered on a weekday afternoon for around $12.

Restaurants like San Diego-based Cali BBQ are experimenting with a form of the dynamic pricing long used by airlines, hotels and ride-hailing services. Technology providers are pitching services that enable restaurants to change prices weekly or monthly, increasing or slashing the cost of a taco or sandwich between a few quarters to several dollars, depending on demand and sales patterns.

The small changes can add up for restaurants seeking more sales, though operators must weigh the potential gains with the risk of upsetting inflation-weary consumers.

Shawn Walchef, Cali BBQ’s owner, said that variable pricing attached online to the pulled-pork sandwich boosted the four-unit chain’s $30,000 in monthly delivery sales by $1,500 since the company began testing it in early 2023.

“That’s very meaningful for a small business,” Walchef said about the sales boost. “I recommend it to every restaurant owner.” Cali BBQ has since expanded the technology to a $32 combo meal.

Dynamic pricing—charging higher rates at peak times and dropping them at slower ones—has become commonplace in industries such as e-commerce, and mobile apps have made it easier for companies to study consumers’ buying and browsing and quickly adapt. Rising costs in recent years have led more retailers to implement it.

Restaurants are experimenting with the technology as the industry looks for ways to boost sales and increase profits. Many restaurants increased menu prices as labor, food and other costs have soared since 2021. Prices for food eaten away from home in January were 30% higher than in the same month in 2019, according to Labor Department data.

Wendy’s drew public scrutiny after the burger chain said in a mid-February earnings call that it was looking to test dynamic pricing. The chain said it would invest around $20 million in its U.S. restaurants to install digital menu boards by 2025 that could suggest items to customers and present different offerings depending on the time of day.

Inflation-fatigued consumers protested the possibility of surge pricing hitting their burgers, and Wendy’s last week said it wouldn’t raise prices at the busiest times. New digital menus could instead allow the chain to offer discounts during slower hours, Wendy’s said.
Drew Patterson, co-founder of restaurant dynamic pricing provider Juicer, said restaurants need to reference “happy hour” and other known promotions when explaining variable pricing to customers.

“You need to make it clear that prices go up and they go down,” said Patterson.

Dozens of restaurant brands use Juicer’s technology to change their prices based on demand trends, with an average swing of up to 15%, Patterson said. Delivery services such as Uber Eats and technology platforms like Tock also allow restaurants to bump prices up or down.

Dave & Buster’s and other chains are dabbling with the technology to help spread out customer visits over a broader part of the day and better capitalize on rush periods. “We’re going to have a dynamic pricing model, so we have the right price at the right time to match the peak demand,” Dave & Buster’s CEO Chris Morris said during an investor presentation last year. The company declined to comment further.

Coastal cuisine chain Bartaco first started testing dynamic pricing for its app delivery orders last year, increasing to-go prices on its taco packs by between 5% and 10% during weekend peak hours and discounting them during slower weekday afternoons. Revenue from sales made through apps has been up 4% to 6% every month since the 31-unit chain started using dynamic pricing, and customers haven’t complained, executives at the Arlington, Va.-based company said.

“We look at it as a little sales boost to offset our costs,” said Bartaco Chief Financial Officer Levi Martin, who said the company is particularly struggling with app-related fees.

Other restaurants, particularly sit-down ones, are charging more for prime seats during peak hours. Gene and Georgetti, a historic Chicago steakhouse where Frank Sinatra once regularly dined, in late 2022 implemented dynamic pricing on two booths frequented by celebrity customers. Diners typically pay a $20 fee when they book the booths at busy hours, helping counterbalance the restaurant’s rising expenses, managing partner Michelle Durpetti said.
“If you are willing to invest, it guarantees you have a great experience and it’s been a positive addition to us,” said Durpetti, who said the restaurant gets a handful of the reservations weekly.

Some chains said they have no interest in the technology and fear further angering consumers livid over high restaurant prices.

Dine Brands, the parent of Applebee’s and IHOP
, looked at the technology but passed because their customers are price sensitive, Chief Executive John Peyton said in an interview. “We don’t think it’s an appropriate tool to use for our guests at this time,” he said.

An estimated 61% of adults support variable pricing where a restaurant lowers or raises prices based on business, with younger consumers more in favor of the approach than older ones, according to an online survey of 1,000 people by the National Restaurant Association trade group.

While some consumers tend to resent surge pricing, as Wendy’s discovered last month, they like happy-hour discounts and other deals at slow times, industry consultants said.

“People know how much a small fry or burger costs,” said Matthew Tucker, head of the reservation platform Tock, which offers dynamic pricing options to the 7,000 restaurants that use its services. “If they mess with that formula, you have to be careful.”

# ? Mar 11, 2024 21:52

teen witch: Oct 9, 2012

The app is literally called Juicer?

# ? Mar 11, 2024 21:56

Kwyndig: Sep 23, 2006; Heeeeeey

Where'd they find 610 people dumb enough to say they support surge pricing, silicon valley?

# ? Mar 11, 2024 22:13

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Kwyndig posted:

Where'd they find 610 people dumb enough to say they support surge pricing, silicon valley?

It was Elon Musk, his vote counts more because he is richer, and therefore smarter

# ? Mar 11, 2024 22:15

Kwyndig: Sep 23, 2006; Heeeeeey

Let's just say I don't trust opinion polls because only freaks want to spend their time answering weird questions from survey people.

# ? Mar 11, 2024 22:21

Silver Falcon: Dec 5, 2005; Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight and barbecue your own drumsticks!

Kwyndig posted:

Where'd they find 610 people dumb enough to say they support surge pricing, silicon valley?

Was going to post about that. That is a ridiculously small sample size and they should be ashamed.

# ? Mar 11, 2024 22:26

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

You can easily sell that kind of idea because it�s honestly the most American idea.

You can get people to thank you for it

# ? Mar 11, 2024 22:43

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

Haifisch posted:

lmao at the cited WSJ article desperately trying to sell this as anything but naked greed that even the marketing sociopaths know nobody likes.

It's insanely stupid because people already pay out the rear end for delivery meals they don't care if the entree is $12 or $18 they just want their favorite meals delivered.

You try that at a drive through or a sit down then why the gently caress are they even coming to the brick and mortar location? If you serve beer/liquor, the vastly more profitable item, no on is going to bother to come in and sit down to eat if the costs spike up like that and they can just save the driving time instead.

Also, no one's getting tipped ever again for those places either, so good luck keep FOH staff.

# ? Mar 11, 2024 22:47

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
PLANT MORE TREES
CLEAN THE SEAS
KISS TITTIESS

Juicer? Oh.

# ? Mar 12, 2024 02:38

Volmarias: Dec 31, 2002; EMAIL... THE INTERNET... SEARCH ENGINES...

Silver Falcon posted:

Was going to post about that. That is a ridiculously small sample size and they should be ashamed.

Of all the things the WSJ does, I imagine this is #12 on the list of things they should be ashamed of

# ? Mar 12, 2024 03:27

Ultima66: Sep 2, 2008

Not sure if this would count as dumb or smart for marketing but this is apparently a Chinese tutoring ad that went viral:

# ? Mar 12, 2024 03:34

Volmarias: Dec 31, 2002; EMAIL... THE INTERNET... SEARCH ENGINES...

Ultima66 posted:

Not sure if this would count as dumb or smart for marketing but this is apparently a Chinese tutoring ad that went viral:

I've got to assume that there's some wordplay here that isn't translating

E: unless I'm missing something because the English text has overlaid it, the fourth sentence is the same as the second, except that it has characters at the end, so I wonder if it's something like "we will tutor and help your child('s competing applicants)"

Volmarias has a new favorite as of 03:53 on Mar 12, 2024

# ? Mar 12, 2024 03:44

Ultima66: Sep 2, 2008

Volmarias posted:

I've got to assume that there's some wordplay here that isn't translating

There's no wordplay it's just very openly calling out the fact that for standardized tests every kid is competing with each other. It's like if a US weapons manufacturer told Ukraine "if you don't buy missiles from us, we're gonna sell them to Russia instead".

# ? Mar 12, 2024 03:50

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Maybe I think so little of their services that I welcome that development.

If you don�t buy the Ross rifle, the Kaiser will.

# ? Mar 12, 2024 03:57

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# ? May 3, 2024 14:30

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Buttchocks posted:

Just make beverages into sliceable solids that you can eat with your fingers.

I simply get all my sustenance from these:

# ? Mar 12, 2024 03:57

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