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Trig Discipline posted:I can't hear about someone sucking their own dick without thinking of the forums goon who said he could do it but said "it's a lot more like sucking a dick than it is like having your dick sucked". It's one of history's great accidentally profound quotes, along the lines of Mike Tysons "everyone's got a plan until they get punched in the mouth". That sounds like me and it is. I don't know how many people I've had to say "yeah I've sucked my own dick but that's NOT THE POINT" to but hopefully I have saved at least a handful of men a lot of time and effort or encouraged them in their quest. Age and fatness has long since removed any possibility of personally repeating the act but it's good to see that the knowledge from my trip report has entered the Goon Hivemind. If it wasn't me their description is dead on.
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Aug 24, 2020 12:34
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Trig Discipline posted:Aahaha, awesome. For real that quote has stuck with me through the years because it's kind of the perfect encapsulation of an experience that sounds great but turns out to be more work than it's worth. Another thing that stuck with me about that was that there were a couple of people in the thread who were completely not understanding what you meant but then a whole bunch of people were like "no I know exactly what he means". I just checked this thread again and I realized that there's going to be a subset of people who will see my avatar and think "hey the auto-fellatio goon," because I happened to read the same thread about marketing as someone who remembered my wisdom gained and chose to once again post about sucking my own dick. Hopefully they will also remember my teachings. My hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos led to me sucking my dick led to me telling people about the experience because I have no filter led to wisdom? Is telling people about this a dumb marketing move that is going to hurt my personal brand?
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Aug 29, 2020 15:55
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flatluigi posted:she's one of the people who went through disney's child star machine so i don't know how many points there are for or against her favor I know that she doesn't get her cats fixed so she has dozens of them, or at least she used to. So young and already a crazy cat lady. 
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Aug 29, 2020 16:42
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Picnic Princess posted:I was presumed to be anorexic but instead of happy meals or doctor's advice I was just yelled at for being stupid enough to be anorexic. Turns out I just don't like eating when I'm in deep despair. When I left home I started to feel hungry. Probably didn't help that you likely have food intolerances that weren't being catered to and you instinctively learned that some foods made you feel bad so you wouldn't eat them.
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Nov 29, 2020 20:49
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Platystemon posted:They discarded the brain as a useless organ though. No they ate the brain. That is why all the people hieroglyphics look like zombies. Learn a history.
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Jan 30, 2021 08:17
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The Bloop posted:My brother had a homemade chinger There was a Radioshack phone dialer that was easily modifiable with some other part sold at Radioshack that you could use to make the right noises to get free calls. A guy I used to know made one. Now he hunts for zero-day exploits, works as a penetration tester, and writes books about hacking. Apparently phreaking when you're young leads to neat careers later.
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May 1, 2021 19:45
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Captain Hygiene posted:I'm not gonna lie, I'd buy a bag of lumpy-rear end reject skittles the moment I saw one My local candy place (Albanese) sells 5lb bags of reject gummies. They make great gummy candy so it is always a great value to just buy the giant reject bags even if they are awful for me.
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Jun 15, 2021 03:02
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Hirayuki posted:Albanese makes the best gummies. You're lucky to have them nearby. I would weigh a thousand pounds. They are literally 15mins away and the fresh ones are so much better than what you can buy in a store. If I could do HFCS without issues it would be a problem. I still eat them because they are super good.
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Jun 15, 2021 19:11
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Picnic Princess posted:The funniest part of the Batman "please think of the children" thing is that almost every kid has made their toys make out or gently caress at some point. It's been a rite of passage for decades. I hate you why did you make me do this 
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Jun 17, 2021 03:19
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Douche Wolf 89 posted:Think that's PoppyWatch making fun of the rum, not official branding This is the only Poppy you will ever need: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gmswmbosYo
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Nov 10, 2021 20:27
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Platystemon posted:Just yesterday, I was told that it was unhealthy to go three hours without drinking. You need to stop taking medical advice from your bartender.
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Mar 15, 2022 18:34
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The Lone Badger posted:I read a scifi book a long time ago about a guy herding dairy whales. Dairy Whales are why Star Trek ships have whales on board. Non-replicated food is a real treat.
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Jul 16, 2022 22:11
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Just lol if this whole commercial isn't burnt into your brain: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4-e4nlfdRI
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Jul 21, 2022 02:26
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One of my local pizza places offers a "Keto Pizza" and you can get sauce/cheese + 7 toppings for way way less than a similar pizza. It's pretty great.
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Aug 17, 2022 19:34
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You can spend EBT money and get everything you need to whip up homebrew morphine/heroin. I 100% will not explain how, some knowledge just needs to be hardcore memory-holed.
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Aug 19, 2022 19:15
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BUT YOU CAN'T BUY A HOT CHICKEN This all makes sense.
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Aug 19, 2022 19:15
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Oh and people will 100% judge you if you spend food stamps on nice meat or really anything containing sugar. Cashiers will almost always scan down to the bottom of the receipt where it shows what your balance is too.
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Aug 20, 2022 01:21
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I live in a hardcore Red State in the USA and the cashier not checking the balance on the bottom of the receipt is the abnormal action. I don't even understand why EBT prints it on there, but they almost always check it.
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Aug 20, 2022 22:26
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Tunicate posted:You can buy purina monkey chow, which is a nutritionally complete meal for primates, but it doesn't taste great. http://www.nathanedwardwilliams.com/fun/monkeydiet.htm
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Oct 16, 2022 21:46
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How hard is it to not cook meat in dairy? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tUX4tQ6m7U
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Nov 16, 2022 19:13
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The nice thing about Common Names for animals is that many species have multiple. If you live in North America and/or are speaking English? It is best to use the, quite frankly superior modern name "Trash Panda" when referring to Procyon lotor.
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Jun 6, 2023 16:06
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Also we have a pretty awesome Raccoon thread: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3737917
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Jun 6, 2023 16:07
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"To call a spade a spade" needs to be retired too, but I don't know what object to replace the garden tool with. What words DON'T have some sort of racist connotations these days?
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Jun 6, 2023 16:45
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Breetai posted:This is like the third time in the last couple months I've seen a thread get an extended "what do you mean that *word/phrase* has negative connotations/is an outright slur? I for one have never heard it/don't think it's actually all that bad really" derail and this poo poo is starting to appear less like clueless/sheltered loving whiteboy goons and more like a high pitched whistle. It was a hyperbolic throwaway joke about trash pandas and wordplay. I assumed people would ignore it, as they do most of my awful posts. I misjudged. I apologize to you all for the lovely racism derail.
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Jun 8, 2023 00:38
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I have the one and only NFT of the idea of Al Cowling's white Bronco as it existed in space and time during the low speed chase involving O.J. Simpson. No you can not see it it is with my broker in Canada. He's a model.
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Jul 14, 2023 21:25
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I trade crypto while on salvia. It's the ultimate rush.
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Jul 20, 2023 22:36
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Sentient Data posted:You realize the cap isn't the color, right? Is the cap blue or gold?
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Jul 25, 2023 01:50
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Eclipse12 posted:Musk strikes me as the type of weirdo who, if he could get away with it, would absolutely have hardcore porn playing openly on public TVs/monitors in the workplace. He is 100% the weird guy at the party who puts porn on and makes poo poo weird.
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Jul 30, 2023 22:22
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Read After Burning posted:I've never worn a fake nail in my life, but uhhh, I...I don't think these look right? This belongs in the AUG thread or at least like spoiler it. Gross.
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Sep 11, 2023 22:44
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Read After Burning posted:She appears to be doing a full-on "No, this is fine" and deleting/blocking people who are asking wtf. That is a terrible fake nail job with a terrible paint job on top of some badly taken care of fingernails. How do you look at that and not question your entire life let alone think its good sponcon? I had to go grab some clippers and a file so my nails stop bothering me after seeing it lol
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Sep 11, 2023 23:42
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SulfurMonoxideCute posted:This popped up on my FB feed, it looks like someone hanging to me. They got Zuckerberg as a model.
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Sep 16, 2023 21:58
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Mr. Belpit posted:My impression from Instagram is that like about a third of all dogs in America are pit bulls You should try looking at dogs IRL and not on Instagram. You will find that 99% of all dogs everywhere are good puppers.
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Nov 3, 2023 02:15
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Shroud posted:There's definitely a whale shark in there. We go multiple times a year. The big tank is absolutely massive. W hale sharks don't do well in captivity so once every 2-3 years they kill and butcher the oldest one and hold a feast for big donors and aquarium staff before they get a new one from the breeder.
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Nov 8, 2023 21:48
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Xlorp posted:
They really hoped the same about you
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Nov 15, 2023 04:08
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Leon Sumbitches posted:I got mine this summer. Incredibly easy to get, free for life, and they'll replace the card if you ever lose it. Don't sleep on the disabled seating at events too. Most venues will give you a great seat.
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Nov 27, 2023 21:51
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Pallas Cats are the best looking.
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Dec 27, 2023 00:18
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Cowslips Warren posted:That looks like AI attempted to make a porn. Oh god, that stuff exists, doesn't it. It does and sometimes it's hilarious but it's mostly bad and/or disturbing. Boobs are sexy so why not add an extra 4? You like legs we're gonna make this lady's pelvis brush the clouds.
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Jan 3, 2024 23:07
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EXTRA NIPPLES GET YOU EXTRA NIPPLES HERE
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Jan 3, 2024 23:09
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Kwyndig posted:It does and it's horrifying because people just take their fetishes and dial them up to 11. DeviantArt cranked to 11
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Jan 3, 2024 23:10
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That's somehow scarily far more accurate.
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Jan 4, 2024 06:48
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