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LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

MysteryNad posted:

Punk is at least as qualified a fighter as Herschel Walker was, I have no doubt Joe Silva can find a Greg "Nudge" Nagy for him to fight.

Or Punk vs Nudge

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HOTLANTA MAN
Jul 4, 2010

by Hand Knit
Lipstick Apathy
He's fighting Canseco right

Dexo
Aug 15, 2009

A city that was to live by night after the wilderness had passed. A city that was to forge out of steel and blood-red neon its own peculiar wilderness.

oatgan posted:

good take, triple h

oh god, imagine the smug 20 minute promo Triple H is going to do if when Punk gets his rear end kicked by a nobody.

vainman
Nov 2, 2012

I find your lack of faith... disturbing
The UFC whips off a mask and my god it was Pride, Austin, it was Pride all along

HOTLANTA MAN
Jul 4, 2010

by Hand Knit
Lipstick Apathy
Neon Lights
Nobel Prize
When he hits the ring
Punk's gonna die

handsome only face
Apr 22, 2010

Cockroach went out of the room in anger. And roach's go to empty room...

Cockroache's Anarchist


HOTLANTA MAN posted:

He's fighting Canseco right

not fair, a finger short of a fist. then again nick newell.

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

Dexo posted:

oh god, imagine the smug 20 minute promo Triple H is going to do if when Punk gets his rear end kicked by a nobody.

anything triple h does will be through vague proxy in the wwe so look forward to some choice scripted lines directed at brock lesnar in the coming weeks

Joey McChrist
Aug 8, 2005

man to be a fly on the wall in Titan Tower right now

doverhog
May 31, 2013

Defender of democracy and human rights 🇺🇦
Punk could beat a lot of people in a MMA fight no doubt. Would any of them have been signed by the UFC for reasons other than to fight him is another question.

Mystery Opponent
Sep 27, 2006

but u was a real nigga
i could sense it in u
What is this legit jiu jitsu background that Punk has

Youtube videos with a mid tier Gracie don't count

colonel_korn
May 16, 2003

Dangersim posted:

have you heard of pride

it can get much worse



better?

Dangersim
Sep 4, 2011

:qq:He expended too much energy and got tired:qq:

I'M NOT SURPRISED MOTHERFUCKERS
I'm thinking chute boxe or crocop vs small japanese men

skaboomizzy
Nov 12, 2003

There is nothing I want to be. There is nothing I want to do.
I don't even have an image of what I want to be. I have nothing. All that exists is zero.
If Punk really has an eight-fight deal, he better hope his first six opponents can sell getting out-maneuvered into a submission by a BJJ blue-belt really well.

Punk has like two dozen chronic injuries and at least that many concussions (to hear him tell it), 2-3 years of training from whatever Gracie he's buddies with, and he's 36 years old... his first three or more fights are gonna be like that Mickey Rourke vs "a literal hobo" boxing match last week.

Dana will get his big PPV money as long as it's not exposed too early, but it'll cost him all kinds of credibility in the long run. I doubt he cares as long as he can still get sanctioned in NV and CA.

I suppose this whole enterprise is a step above "Herschel Walker, MMA fighter" but that's just because people have heard of UFC and CM Punk is probably not a crazy person.

sigmachiev
Dec 31, 2007

Fighting blood excels
Really hope he somehow wins his first fight so we can get some epic promos out of him and Bisping, because that's too good to pass up.

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007




Grimey Drawer

Fentry posted:

While I don't think this is likely the best move for his health I don't really get people acting like he's basically committing suicide compared to going back to wrestling where when he inevitably also gets a concussion the match doesn't stop. I would wager on his first couple matches being TUF losing grapplers

I don't think he's committing suicide but I do think it's pretty fuckin' weird given that the dude is more than rich enough to retire and cited wanting his health as a reason for getting out. I'm not saying he's gonna get a severe traumatic brain injury or anything but going from "I'm enjoying retirement!" to an eight fight UFC deal in like a week is slightly odd to me.

Lid
Feb 18, 2005

And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

LobsterMobster posted:

BJ Penn beat the poo poo out of Diego Sanchez for 23 minutes

Diego's tactics were: bad wrestling, terrible haymakers, MEAN MUGGING

None of it worked

Edgar v Penn 3 was a bigger beatdown. BJ even carried himself bigger.

vainman
Nov 2, 2012

I find your lack of faith... disturbing
LHW title challenger vs. the guy who makes coffee is the beatdown you're all thinking of

Maduo
Sep 8, 2006

You see all the colors.
All of them.


SamuraiFoochs posted:

I don't think he's committing suicide but I do think it's pretty fuckin' weird given that the dude is more than rich enough to retire and cited wanting his health as a reason for getting out. I'm not saying he's gonna get a severe traumatic brain injury or anything but going from "I'm enjoying retirement!" to an eight fight UFC deal in like a week is slightly odd to me.

I think the difference is Dana White isn't going to make Punk fight again two weeks after whatever nobody beats the poo poo out of him.

Dexters Secret
Jun 19, 2014

SamuraiFoochs posted:

I don't think he's committing suicide but I do think it's pretty fuckin' weird given that the dude is more than rich enough to retire and cited wanting his health as a reason for getting out. I'm not saying he's gonna get a severe traumatic brain injury or anything but going from "I'm enjoying retirement!" to an eight fight UFC deal in like a week is slightly odd to me.

That is him enjoying retirement.

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

SamuraiFoochs posted:

I don't think he's committing suicide but I do think it's pretty fuckin' weird given that the dude is more than rich enough to retire and cited wanting his health as a reason for getting out. I'm not saying he's gonna get a severe traumatic brain injury or anything but going from "I'm enjoying retirement!" to an eight fight UFC deal in like a week is slightly odd to me.
punk giving up on retirement would be signing a new contract with wwe, this seems more like a thing he's always wanted to do and finally has the cache and freedom to do. You can't watch hockey forever.

Malcolm Excellent
May 20, 2007

Buglord
PUNK DOESN'T WANT TO KNOW WHO'S NEXT, HE WANTS TO KNOW WHO'S FIRST?!

Dexters Secret
Jun 19, 2014

Punk is an incredibly driven individual and I think he has a decent chance of defeating another UFC rookie. But even if he doesn't, it's not gonna be a big deal, other than his next fight won't be as much of a draw. He's doing this for fun anyway, and is a writer for Marvel now.

I think all the remarks that Punk is gonna get literally murdered is comin' from people that are just upset deep down that this nigh-clenches the fact he's never returning to the WWE.

zetamind2000
Nov 6, 2007

I'm an alien.

Gonna be funny as hell when Punk wins every fight he's in and goes right to the top.

Fentry
Mar 7, 2003



SamuraiFoochs posted:

I don't think he's committing suicide but I do think it's pretty fuckin' weird given that the dude is more than rich enough to retire and cited wanting his health as a reason for getting out. I'm not saying he's gonna get a severe traumatic brain injury or anything but going from "I'm enjoying retirement!" to an eight fight UFC deal in like a week is slightly odd to me.

The eight fight number is most likely nowhere near the reality of how many fights he will actually have, it's just set high enough to ensure he'll never run through his contract and sign with Bellator or some other org that would be willing to throw even more ridiculous contracts at him. It's similar to how Anderson Silva just signed a contract for some absurd number of fights he will never complete as a sign of UFC loyalty

MassRafTer
May 26, 2001

BAEST MODE!!!

skaboomizzy posted:

If Punk really has an eight-fight deal, he better hope his first six opponents can sell getting out-maneuvered into a submission by a BJJ blue-belt really well.

Punk has like two dozen chronic injuries and at least that many concussions (to hear him tell it), 2-3 years of training from whatever Gracie he's buddies with, and he's 36 years old... his first three or more fights are gonna be like that Mickey Rourke vs "a literal hobo" boxing match last week.

Dana will get his big PPV money as long as it's not exposed too early, but it'll cost him all kinds of credibility in the long run. I doubt he cares as long as he can still get sanctioned in NV and CA.

I suppose this whole enterprise is a step above "Herschel Walker, MMA fighter" but that's just because people have heard of UFC and CM Punk is probably not a crazy person.

He doesn't it was a joke. Michael Coughlin is a wacky man who makes fun of Brazilian and Armenian fighters (and doesn't even post here) and posted that as a joke. The length of a UFC contract doesn't even really matter, if you lose they cut you, if you win they extend you.

Sanguinia
Jan 1, 2012

~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

When I think about everything Punk is doing since he left, becoming a comic book writer, being an anime, talking to people about music deals, twitter waring with hockey mascots, and now fighting in UFC... I'm sure these are things he wants to do for himself, but I can't help but wonder if it isn't that old "you can't change anything sitting on the couch," nagging at him. That maybe he wants to see if he can parley his wrestling fame into become that epic mainstream crossover star that they never allowed him to be, and if he can that maybe that will change something in WWE because they'll finally see what they passed up on and resolve not to make that mistake ever again.

Or maybe he just wants to make as much money and get as much fame as he can to piss all over them.

Or maybe it is just him doing whatever he wants. Or some combination of all three. Only punk knows I guess.

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

Dexters Secret posted:

Punk is an incredibly driven individual and I think he has a decent chance of defeating another UFC rookie. But even if he doesn't, it's not gonna be a big deal, other than his next fight won't be as much of a draw. He's doing this for fun anyway, and is a writer for Marvel now.

I think all the remarks that Punk is gonna get literally murdered is comin' from people that are just upset deep down that this nigh-clenches the fact he's never returning to the WWE.

people keep saying CM PUNK WORKS FOR MARVEL NOW as if he's been given a book to work on full time but he's just writing a 10 page backup story in someone else's comic like a whole bunch of other famous comic fans before him

he's more of an independent contractor

oatgan fucked around with this message at 09:28 on Dec 7, 2014

Qonas
Apr 21, 2010

RZApublican posted:

Gonna be funny as hell when Punk wins every fight he's in and goes right to the top.

Dude doesn't have to do a thing, yet CHOOSES to fight because it's his passion. That is awesome. Punk for life.

Ninja PD
Jul 21, 2006
Phil Baroni would be a decent opponent for his 2nd or 3rd fight in the vein of Old Lion vs "Young" Cub, and the lead-up would be some fantastic stuff. It's all cosmetic.

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007




Grimey Drawer

oatgan posted:

punk giving up on retirement would be signing a new contract with wwe, this seems more like a thing he's always wanted to do and finally has the cache and freedom to do. You can't watch hockey forever.

Yeah good point I guess.


Fentry posted:

The eight fight number is most likely nowhere near the reality of how many fights he will actually have, it's just set high enough to ensure he'll never run through his contract and sign with Bellator or some other org that would be willing to throw even more ridiculous contracts at him. It's similar to how Anderson Silva just signed a contract for some absurd number of fights he will never complete as a sign of UFC loyalty

This makes more sense. I know nothing of MMA so I didn't know whether the eight fight number was any kind of binding amount or if it was more a symbolic kind of thing.

GrimGypsy
Mar 27, 2007

Why are people saying he can't win in UFC because a Ryback kick broke his ribs?

You know it's different when you're actually expecting the other guy to try to hurt you, right?

Minitrue
Aug 6, 2010

oatgan posted:

people keep saying CM PUNK WORKS FOR MARVEL NOW as if he's been given a book to work on full time but he's just writing a 10 page backup story in someone else's comic like a whole bunch of other famous comic fans before him

he's more of an independent contractor

You seem to know a lot about comic books, nerd.

Okuteru
Nov 10, 2007

Choose this life you're on your own

SamuraiFoochs posted:



This makes more sense. I know nothing of MMA so I didn't know whether the eight fight number was any kind of binding amount or if it was more a symbolic kind of thing.

A good rule of thumb in MMA is that fighters usually get cut after 3 to 4 fight losing streak, unless you're a big draw (Dan Hardy for English fans a few years ago), an exciting fighter who's loyal (Diego Sanchez) or they'll cut you anyway is your a boring fighter with a dull personality (Jon Fitch, Yushin Okami, Jake Shields).

Don't some indie and Puro wrestlers also do MMA? I know Inoki went apeshit with shoot fights in NJPW, but don't some of the wrestlers there have MMA records. If I remember correctly, the tag team reDRagon of Ring of Honor have been in MMA bouts before. Can the UFC sign one of these guys for Punk, or would that be too carny?

Dangersim
Sep 4, 2011

:qq:He expended too much energy and got tired:qq:

I'M NOT SURPRISED MOTHERFUCKERS

SamuraiFoochs posted:

Yeah good point I guess.


This makes more sense. I know nothing of MMA so I didn't know whether the eight fight number was any kind of binding amount or if it was more a symbolic kind of thing.

Yeah you can always retire, they can't force you to fight if you don't want to. You just can't fight anywhere else if you still have fights left on your contract.

Anderson Silva just signed a 15 fight contract and he's about to be 40.

MassRafTer
May 26, 2001

BAEST MODE!!!
They need to do boxer vs wrestler so Dave Meltzer can die a happy man. Roy Jones Jr. vs CM Punk. Come on Joe Silva, do it.

History Comes Inside!
Nov 20, 2004




He's going to get his face punched clean off the front of his skull by a chubby redneck who's mad at him for quitting WWE.

rovert
Jun 10, 2013
Imagine Colt Cabana, Ace Steel and Cliff Compton as cornermen

MassRafTer
May 26, 2001

BAEST MODE!!!

rovert posted:

Imagine Colt Cabana, Ace Steel and Cliff Compton as cornermen

It's gonna be Joe because he's a real shooter and currently unemployed.

slev
Apr 6, 2009

Can't wait to see Punk get beat up by Andrew Craig

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AlmightyPants
Mar 14, 2001

King of Scheduling
Pillbug
As someone who knows almost nothing about UFC, do they let their fighters cut promos? I don't care if Punk wins or loses, I just want him to have an open mic.

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