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oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

lmao

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oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

its going to be funny if he wins or loses i cant wait

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

cm punk has years of amateur experience as a backyard wrestler he'll be fine

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

skaboomizzy posted:

CM Punk is gonna get Bart Gunn'd by some schlub who's had three fights at a warehouse in Montana. He'll get wrecked so badly that he'll never pass a WWE physical again. TNA won't care and will sign him so he and Kurt Angle can have a Last Man Standing match. They won't realize until too late that the stipulation is a shoot and the loser will literally spend the rest of their life in a wheelchair.

The end.

good take, triple h

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

Dexo posted:

oh god, imagine the smug 20 minute promo Triple H is going to do if when Punk gets his rear end kicked by a nobody.

anything triple h does will be through vague proxy in the wwe so look forward to some choice scripted lines directed at brock lesnar in the coming weeks

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

SamuraiFoochs posted:

I don't think he's committing suicide but I do think it's pretty fuckin' weird given that the dude is more than rich enough to retire and cited wanting his health as a reason for getting out. I'm not saying he's gonna get a severe traumatic brain injury or anything but going from "I'm enjoying retirement!" to an eight fight UFC deal in like a week is slightly odd to me.
punk giving up on retirement would be signing a new contract with wwe, this seems more like a thing he's always wanted to do and finally has the cache and freedom to do. You can't watch hockey forever.

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

Dexters Secret posted:

Punk is an incredibly driven individual and I think he has a decent chance of defeating another UFC rookie. But even if he doesn't, it's not gonna be a big deal, other than his next fight won't be as much of a draw. He's doing this for fun anyway, and is a writer for Marvel now.

I think all the remarks that Punk is gonna get literally murdered is comin' from people that are just upset deep down that this nigh-clenches the fact he's never returning to the WWE.

people keep saying CM PUNK WORKS FOR MARVEL NOW as if he's been given a book to work on full time but he's just writing a 10 page backup story in someone else's comic like a whole bunch of other famous comic fans before him

he's more of an independent contractor

oatgan fucked around with this message at 09:28 on Dec 7, 2014

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

Perdido posted:

He's better than your average professional wrestler because he's straight edge and has avoided PEDs, but he's never been one of the most athletic guys out there. His selling point as a wrestler was being more of a personality than as an athletic freak a la Lesnar. He was a good wrestler, but his strengths laid more in story telling and plotting out matches.

no actually he's worse off for avoiding PEDs

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

Spermgod posted:

kinda surprising no freakshow japanese mma promotion has ever done a 3 way match tbh

why stop at three https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GixDXD44_yA

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

Yuriy posted:


i already said that it'd be funny to see him get fitched, so i'm down for seeing cm punk get beaten up but instead they'll feed him a can and we get to do it all over again and the GDT for any CM Punk UFC thread are going to be so bad

it would be a real shame if we had some bad posts around here

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

SaberToothedPie posted:

WWE signing Lebron would be awesome, imagine a 6'9'' dude doing dives and moonsaults.

you can tell from his superhuman durability and receding hairline that he does steroids and would never pass a rigorous wwe physical

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

Meat Recital posted:

me and arf will buy a part of your fight banner. it will contain one of my posts.

hope its this one

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3634084&pagenumber=150&perpage=40#post434319779

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

Punk's wrestling commentary was mostly him saying things to amuse himself during horrible segments he wasnt very good at calling the action. I'm not sure this would translate to MMA unless he was riffing on d-league fights

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

Memento posted:

I think they get their internet infrastructure from the same guys as Colt Cabana...

colt cabana is a part owner so

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

UFC should do a better job fixing fights if Dana has to periodically go on twitter to bitch about reffing and robberies

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

omg chael crash posted:

does wresting acknowledge that Undertaker(2spooky) wears MMA gloves?

When he started wearing them he was given the title The Best Pure Striker In WWE so most definitely

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

Dangersim posted:

:stare:

Sometimes I go into the wrestling threads and amused when people talk about his the most wildly successful promoter in history has no idea what he's doing

don't actually read posts

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

chill

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

all great champions use drugs and cm punk is not committed to succeeding in this sport until he does them

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

CM Punk got knocked out by Teddy Hart

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

you remind me of my trolls, on twitter

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

cm punk compared himself to the punisher

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

a stevia water straight edge

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

remember when he refused to wear them in wwe

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

OneThousandMonkeys posted:

That's funny, because unlike some wrestlers I could name (CM Punk) he gives interview responses like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCngu7E8z8I

Like, being a wrestler means you are a wrestler all the time and forever, man. Macho Man interviews are the reason he is a legend, and this poo poo here is the reason why everyone is going to forget about John Cena and his big bowl of nothing Make-A-Wish "career" five years after he is forced into retirement from doing too many lovely hip tosses.

Or maybe he could reassure us he has two working balls and keep it real with Larry King, instead of looking like he's late for prep school. If that's the best wrestler in the world, then gently caress this gay earth.
what the hell are you talking about

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

RZApublican posted:

I'm thoroughly certain that Kyle Maynard would completely destroy Dan Quinn in a fight.

yeah but he can't play the violin

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

eh, he still had a new japan run that is funny in hindsight

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

david carmichael posted:

Earlier in the thread I claimed that Bautista was a good comparable for punk. Old, injured, new to mma. The major difference is that Bautista picked up bjj and muay Thai relatively quickly because he was very athletic and very strong, even for an old guy. His coaches said he was quite often less skilled than other people at his level, but he could crush them based on strength and athleticism.

Punk is the opposite. He is picking up skills slowly, and also he is weaker and slower than people his size. 1.5 years ago I claimed that punk was considered as a very good white belt by his online sensei, and he was recently revised to be a white belt who was progressing more slowly than normal. After 1.5 years of training full time. That ain't great.

The biggest difference between them is that Batista fought

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

cm punk got his rear end kicked by teddy hart

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

the only person here cm punk worked was himself

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

Bluedeanie posted:

He said a lot of disrespectful and borderline racist things about these Brazilian and Mexican guys he was matched up with, he ducked one of the best wrestlers in the game, and when he finally lost a match he called his own rematch and refused to do any promos for it so he got pulled from the biggest ppv of the year

E: wait sorry that's the wrong one

finally a good post in this thread

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

Write the article bix

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

All cards on the table I think the best case scenario here is that the fight isn't really sad to watch

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

double negative posted:

Coolest thing Punk could possibly do is pull off the fluke win and then get popped by USADA

fluke win with the leaning uppercut

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

nah

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

EugeneJ posted:

...Del Rio was 9-5 in MMA

does he have a win over a single respectable fighter

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

the solution is not to pay cm punk less, but to pay everyone else more, imo

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oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

EverettLO posted:

Grinding himself down to a nub trying to fit into a sport he has no business in?

he already quit wrestling

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