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First, catch the cat. Then, clamp the cat to a table. Once the cat is restrained, go get your circular saw. When you've completed these steps, get back to me.
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Dec 16, 2014 02:57
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| # ¿ May 21, 2024 10:27 |
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FluffieDuckie posted:lol if you think he owns a tool Good point. Op, sharpen your dick in the can opener until it's sharp enough to cut cat flesh.
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Dec 16, 2014 03:00
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wth posted:ok i have some now what careful PI is going to tell you to gently caress YOUR CAT WITH THE QTIPS AND YOUR CAT WILL loving MOAN AND WRITHE AND loving LOVE IT BECAUSE SHE'S A TRASHY loving WHORE, A TART, A PROSTITUTE FOR YOUR loving QTIP PRICK. I think my idea is better. At least you're using your own dick.
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Dec 16, 2014 03:08
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wth posted:is this the kind of stuff that goes on here? idk if I'm cut out for the rude boys of PI hey I didn't tell you to gently caress your cat I was gonna have you cut all your cat's limbs off and then it's loving head and stick a rod up it's goddamned rear end in a top hat and then you have a cat flag that won't bother anybody or insult anybody and hey then you don't even have to feed it but you don't wanna listen to me you wanna listen to somebody like supercondescending so I'm telling you that they're going to say to gently caress your cat with a qtip even though it's a boy because she's probably a homogay or something because APPARENTLY PIFB IS LESBIAN ISLAND *flips hair* *stomps out of thread*
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Dec 16, 2014 03:11
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*baseball slides back in*LITERALLY A BIRD posted:fluffy bunnies are you okay should i call the e-vet  I'm fine  but it's so sweet of you  to think about me  wth posted:so anyways, my cat did a funny thing DESTROY YOUR CAT'S TONGUE WITH A BELT SANDER AND ALL WILL BE WELL 
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Dec 16, 2014 03:16
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Demora posted:Has someone suggested he euth yet because, honestly, that's the only answer you will ever need in situations like this. euth+taxidermy
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Dec 16, 2014 03:18
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adventure in the sandbox posted:fluffy bunnies has finally gone off the deep end and lo off in the distance a breath whispers "ladislava gertzdenkielwctz" Darkness falls.
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Dec 16, 2014 03:21
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Superconsndar posted:I....you could...qtip do you qtip your loving murder dogs when they murder each other is that how you break them up I KNOW YOU'RE LIVING IN SIN! wth posted:is there a hardware suggestion thread anywhere I've heard a lot of solutions so far that require things I don't have if i'm going to become a PI reg I'm gonna need the tools the pros use Any old belt sander will work. We had a product rec thread years ago but it was filled with stupid fuckers and stupid loving rules so it burned to the goddamned ground where it loving belonged.
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Dec 16, 2014 03:23
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LITERALLY A BIRD posted:i'm afraid she'll turn me into a soup and feed me to khelmar if i do I'm about as wide as cartman if we're honest. WetNightmare posted:Why does Pet Island enjoy sexually molesting and disfiguring animals? We really don't, you see, they are called jokes and you're too loving stupid to understand them apparently.
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Dec 16, 2014 03:27
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Hugh Malone posted:jokes are usually funny, not disturbing and gross hth Oh no the q-tip thing is seriously a thing that some vets suggest and it's loving gross but boy oh boy it sure is a thing that circulates these days. You're safe.  I like you.
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Dec 16, 2014 03:31
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wth posted:ok so i borrowed my neighbor's belt sander but everytime i turn it on my cat bolts. he's riled up and blood thirsty! I told you you have to clamp the drat thing to a table first.
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Dec 16, 2014 03:31
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Okay wait hang on I'm gonna pause in screaming about dismemberment for a minute to ask: are all you bags of dicks from byob because I like the yob and it's population and I will be happynicer if you are instead of eating faces.
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Dec 16, 2014 03:35
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Siluvayne posted:we luv you bb we are just here to have fun and look at the cute pets, we come in peace oh well then please ignore my lizzyness and accept my love and welcome and still seriously that q-tip thing is real. So is cleaning the sheath of gelding horses, milking dogs, and all sorts of loving horrors of veterinary needs that involve your animals' reproductive parts for their general health. HI BYOB YOU GUYS SHOULD HANG OUT we're cool honest
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Dec 16, 2014 03:39
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Spiderjelly posted:you're cool too. a genuine SASSMASS hero you're really chill and I like you a lot despite having the most crazy impossible address ever and I actually hand-lettered your label one year and then wanted to stab myself in the face with a fork afterward.
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Dec 16, 2014 03:46
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Al Borland posted:The only pets I have owned are fish. I really wish I had a dog though. I want a dog holy loving poo poo your avatar is amazing.
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Dec 16, 2014 03:51
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ftfy
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Dec 16, 2014 03:56
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Demora posted:Surely you drug them first with only the most potent of organic cat nip grown on the hills of the Himalayas and plucked by virginal hands. dee eight was our cat date rape pharmacist but dee quit Awesome! posted:so now that the jokes are out of the way does anyone have some serious advice to help my friend with his cat problem? Cat is bein a cat all you can do is be like "yo cat, scat" and shoo cat and cat will go
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Dec 16, 2014 04:03
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Avshalom posted:I'm really fat, like obscenely so. My breasts hang almost to my knees and my vagina nestles amid the ripe folds of my flesh like a currant in an unbaked bun. I'm too american to know what a currant in an unbaked bun nestles like. What?
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Dec 16, 2014 14:18
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| # ¿ May 21, 2024 10:27 |
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I Dunno posted:ruin your cat's life. then he'll be too depressed to lick himself.....or do much of anything. buying your cat a something awful account is animal abuse
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Dec 18, 2014 17:26
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