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Duane Walker
Sep 10, 2010

snodig posted:

What I need help with:
- conversation topics
- transition phases during the date.
- how to ask her to leave after I feel we're done.

What I don't need help with:
- music playlists
- brazilian jiu-jitsu
- food suggestions (I'm going with soup. Deal with it)

OP your buddy Duane's got your back, don't even worry.

CONVERSATION TOPICS:
- Gamergate: Show her you are a sensitive gamer who understands the plight of feminism.
- The failing Russian economy: Discuss global economics with her, and you two can make fun predictions for the fall of the ruble.
- How you didn't put bacon in your clam chowder.
- Discuss the thread you made on the internet forum where you paid $10 to a man in Missouri to post upon.

TRANSITION PHASES:
- Arrival: Tell her how pretty she looks in her hijab. Alternatively, if you want to appear sensitive to her muslimness, provide her with a headscarf that she may wear when shaming her family.
- Eating: Pull out her chair, and when she is about to sit down, pull it away from her. Women love a man with a sense of humour.
- After the meal: Politely wait for her to clear the table and wash the dishes. I mean, that's only fair.
- Between the meal and you asking her to leave: Put on some music, I take it by your refusal of suggestions that you already have chosen the correct soundtrack for your date. This of course is Neil Young's 1982 masterpiece, Trans, featuring such hits as "Transformer Man" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eblFQppJfyg
- Asking her to leave: Yawn loudly, and state that you have to be up early. If she's a keeper, she will understand that you are a busy man and have work to do. Give her a tap on the buttocks on her way out. Kissing on the first date is an affront to Allah, and she will admire your restraint and cultural sensitivity.

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Duane Walker
Sep 10, 2010

snodig posted:


No. If I don't plan anything I will be hosed. The whole reason you plan something is so you don't get hosed.

The whole reason you date is so you get hosed, hth.

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