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Clayton has to do all cleaning and cooking now. Also, let him learn cooking so Samara has something nice to eat.
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Jun 10, 2015 17:09
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your out of school and you know what that means. .. VACATION!
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Jun 10, 2015 17:26
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venom3053000 posted:your out of school and you know what that means. .. VACATION! And bring home one of the locals as a souvenir... Y'know, to add some culture to the dungeon.
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Jun 11, 2015 00:02
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Simsmagic posted:We hear that Quincy has been looking for love while we've been gone. Use your phone to make him romantically involved with as many people as possible.
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Jun 11, 2015 13:37
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Simsmagic posted:We hear that Quincy has been looking for love while we've been gone. Use your phone to make him romantically involved with as many people as possible. I am almost certain that Quincy is shacked up with our robot. I think we should use our newfound powers to arrange a beautiful wedding party for Quincy and his Clockwork Bride.
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Jun 11, 2015 13:41
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deadly_pudding posted:I am almost certain that Quincy is shacked up with our robot. I think we should use our newfound powers to arrange a beautiful wedding party for Quincy and his Clockwork Bride. Second, but we should also include fireworks. Dangerously explosive fireworks.
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Jun 11, 2015 16:27
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deadly_pudding posted:I am almost certain that Quincy is shacked up with our robot. I think we should use our newfound powers to arrange a beautiful wedding party for Quincy and his Clockwork Bride. And if he isn't shacked up with her yet, use your phone to make it so.  Well, her and as much other
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Jun 13, 2015 15:24
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Day 25: Work Time to get to work. To do ☐ Travel abroad ☐ Tragic clown to the face ☐ Adopt a magical unicorn ☐ Blame it on Quincey ☐ Time travel ☐ Become an official criminal ☐ ☐ Try forming a band ☐ Stop the freak show ☐ Do some more alchemy ☐ Throw a bachelorette party ☐ Try every job ☐ Punish Quincey and Brenda for their insubordination ☐ Become the Hotdog ☐ Blow up the fanciest thing we don't want ☐ Install an elevator ☐ Get fat again ☐ Make Clayton learn cooking ☐ See how Gengis is doing ☐ Get a new prisoner for the Fungeon  Okay, nix that. That's a lot of work. Time for YOU to get to work, Clayton. We might as well take advantage of our newly acquired asset, right? Speaking of which, let's take a look at those personality traits.  Well, saw that one coming. Anyways, onto our to do list.  Starting with getting fat.  We spent the remaining amount of our money on this little kitchen area. In retrospect that was most likely a poor decision, but honestly that's the name of the game at this point.  Conveniently, this will also compliment our goal of teaching SOMEBODY in this household to cook. Since we're too lazy to read any instructional books, we're going to jump right in and start cooking some meals immediately. Starting with some macaroni and cheese.  Woah, woah, woah, what's this?  You want US to eat THAT?  No, no, no. YOU are going to sit here and eat that entire bowl.  Samara already tried getting fat, and her freakish metabolism kept burning it off in a matter of hours. We're going to watch a movie on our super-TV, and when we get back, we better see that entire bowl licked clean.  Okay, all watched. Spoiler warning: it sucked. So let's take a look at that progress.  Wha--!? You're just as skinny as when we started! What gives!?  Wait a second...  Take your shirt off! Now!  Y-you're...ripped!?  ...Hmm...  Uh, er--no! That's terrible! It's gonna take forever for you to get fat now!  You'd figure getting fat would be easy if so many people can do it by accident! Why is it that we can as buff or fat as possible when we don't want it, but the moment we actually go for a body type, it's like the entire forces of nature work against it!?  This is probably your fault, you failure. Time to move onto something else.  Your next mission is to infiltrate our enemy Quincey's base to disable and retrieve our robot which he reprogrammed against us. To do this, you're going to need a disguise. You can't just go waltzing in like you own the place.  There you go. They'll never suspect a thing.  But uh, make sure to bring that thing back in one piece, alright? We're gonna need it later.  Don't come back unless you've got a robot or a compound fracture.                           Aaand the book sucks too, what a surprise.  Oh, you're back. And without a robot or internal bleeding. What gives?  What!? What do you mean you can't separate them!?  Ah, whatever. If the Great Samara can't do something, then nobody can. Don't even know why we tried with you. All we can do now is wait for karma to strike them both with lightning or something.  That's, uh, how karma works, right? Actually, forget it. Our next goal is to try every job. Or should we say YOUR next goal? In other words, get your butt out there.  This goal sort of conflicts with our other goal of becoming an...unsavory citizen. So instead, we'll have Clayton do one day of every job available. Including the part-time stuff nobody cares about.  His first job as at the local recording studio.  One day of this, and we'll move onto the next job.  As for Samara, we need to wait for the local crimina--uh, the local LEGITIMATE BUSINESSPEOPLE to notice her resume and agree to hire her. In the meantime, we'll be training her athletic stat...  ...When she's...not busy staring at the giant TV like a mouth-breather.  We've been multitasking since Clayton got home from his job application. Samara's been exercising while Clayton's been stuffing his face. Now that Samara's exhausted, let's see how Clayton's doing.  Well, Clayton certainly made a mess around here.  But where is he--  Woah! Don't know how we missed you to begin with. Looks like you've been putting on some chub recently. Just a little more and we can start classifying you as fat.  Huh...Samara just thunk a thought...  That hole in our front yard...we made that with a digger, didn't we? Is that thing still at city hall where we held our civil protest for firing us based on our...less-than-legitimate practices?  Hey! It is!  Sweet. Looks like nobody even touched it! Or noticed. Probably the latter, honestly. Everyone in this town is incredibly thick.  Hey, stand back there, Clayton. We're moving this out of the way.  You get caught in this thing and civil service will need a mop and bucket instead of a pushbroom to clean this up.  This hole was almost finished last time before we got distracted with uh... ...Why DID we stop drilling this? It must've been important or something.  Time to give this baby a test run. The hole, not the digger.  In you go!  Don't worry, the tunnels in that hole are...mostly connected with the hole to our house!  Just feel around! You'll find your way back home eventually!     Man, you smell almost as bad as these dishes.  Speaking of which, clean this up. We're sleepy.     It's about time! You've been cleaning this dishes for hours! Get up!  We've been thinking about these past few days... ...Wait, it's only been a day. Well, this past day has got us thinking. Life outside college is hard work. So we decided to treat ourselves to a vacation. You're free to come along, of course.  Haha, just kidding! You're coming with us whether you like it or not. All that snow at that freakish college was really getting to us, so we're going to Hawaii!  Three days is more than enough time to take a load off and relax for a little while. Anyways, the flight leaves in ten minutes, so you can only bring the clothes on your back. Sorry, Clayton. Try being more prepared next time.  And we're here! The island paradise of the world! Funny how quickly you can travel during loading screens.  Take a deep breath and enjoy those great Hawaiian palm trees!  Or soak in the waves of the beautiful Hawaiian shores!  And if you're feeling adventurous, explore the ancient Hawaiian tombs and pyramids!  Honestly, it's up to you.  Personally, exploring the tombs seems like a more interesting option.  It's dark, musky, and filled with death...so basically like home but really hot.  The locals are probably in need of a lot of help, too. They're probably just ready and willing to give some random tourist their life story and ask them to make important decisions for them.  Of course, there's always an option to explore the local markets as well. We can probably get some neat junk and cheap toys that we can't normally get elsewhere.  So, where to first? ...You've been paying attention, right?
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Jun 22, 2015 10:03
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The totally Hawaiian tombs of death!
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Jun 22, 2015 11:34
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Kick start Samara's criminal career and earn some major cred by becoming a tomb robber.
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Jun 22, 2015 12:52
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Raid every tomb
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Jun 22, 2015 16:04
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Holy poo poo I loving died laughing during the Hotdog infiltration. I don't know how you managed to get comedic timing down using only screenshots but good job!
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Jun 22, 2015 19:03
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He is a natural spy. Perhaps he should do it professionally! The international hotdog of mystery.
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Jun 22, 2015 19:15
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GET A BIRD TOO
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Jun 22, 2015 19:16
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Watch the birds for suspicious behavior. One of them might be a spy.
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Jun 22, 2015 19:30
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Samara Croft: Tomb Raider.
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Jun 22, 2015 19:36
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Samaura Trent: Sarcophagus Snatcher Burial Bandit Grave Pirate Charnel Crook Necropolis Pilferer Catacomb Marauder
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Jun 22, 2015 20:59
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It's a long-standing tradition that people of Polynesian DNA are immune to head-injuries and love it when people test said theory. So let's have
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Jun 22, 2015 22:51
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Poor Clayton, he's certainly being pushed around a lot lately... I love it! Let's explore the tombs! Clayton will take the lead. 
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Jun 22, 2015 23:29
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Change Samara's outfit to match the environment for... camoflage while raiding tombs. Or just go bright, eye-searing yellow. That works too.
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Jun 23, 2015 01:17
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It would be rude to raid the tombs completely, you should leave something in the treasure's place.
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Jun 23, 2015 02:25
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Antitonic posted:It would be rude to raid the tombs completely, you should leave Clayton in the treasure's place. I'll put my vote in for this.
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Jun 23, 2015 04:35
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Get a Camera at the market! Obnoxiously take pictures of everything!
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Jun 23, 2015 05:02
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Keep that bird as a pet to fill the void left by Brenda! I really like falcons 
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Jun 23, 2015 08:53
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Space Cadet Omoly posted:Raid every tomb I'm going to put in a vote for this.
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Jun 23, 2015 18:38
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Vacation 1: Hawaii Today, we're going to explore the ancient tombs scattered across the Hawaiian desert!  But first we're going to head to the market to pick up some new clothes and a camera to take photos. Somehow Clayton managed to sneak his car into the plane's luggage, so we'll be saving some time driving from place to place.  First stop, the clothing department.  Hey, this market is really fancy looking. Let's try out some new clothes to fit in with the local yokels.  Perfect. Nobody ever suspects a tourist. So, uh, where do we pay?  Wait a second. This is somebody's house. Sweet, free clothes!  The REAL market is a few buildings over.  The only way to get a camera is from here. We also need to stock up on supplies before we go exploring. Things like tents and food and stuff. Our needs decay slower when we're in a tomb, but we still need to take care of ourselves.  While Clayton handles the smooth talking, let's try out some snake charming.  Apparently snake charming is mostly in the motion of the flute and the noise it makes, rather than the actual music you play. So you can be actually terrible at playing the flute, and still be a good snake charmer.  Which is great because we're usually terrible at everything!  Okay, Mr. Snake. Wake up, we wanna try this out.  Fine, be that way. We'll just play until you decide to--  Eugh...  This thing tastes like old person mixed with sand.  Alright, forget the flute. Let's just head over to a tomb and check things out.  Clayton can just meet us there.  Let's check out one the pyramids. There should be one within walking distance.    Okay, maybe "walking distance" was a bit of a stretch. We're here now, anyways. Man, that's one ripped uh...anteater statue?  Woah...uh...  This place is a lot bigger than what was on the brochure.  Apparently this dump has rested undisturbed for thousands of years. Unfortunately, Samara's here and she's a very disturbing person, so all that's going to change today.  Clayton finally decided to show up, and he brought along the supplies and the camera. He'll be our designated photographer. Throughout this vacation, he'll be taking all sorts of photos. We'll take a look at them when we get back home.  Now that Clayton's here, let's use him as our workhorse for this dungeon.  While Clayton figures this door out, we'll have the bird keep us company.  Yes you will! Won't you boy? Or girl. It's hard to tell with birds.     Are you done yet? This is taking forever.    About time. Let's take a look around the area here. Hmm...there's a door over there that's already opened...  ...A treasure chest with a star shaped indent on the front...  ...And a star shaped cog over there. We're going to go out on a limb and guess that the two are related. In the meantime, let's have Clayton check out that door.  Cool, it's an underground jungle.  With another star-shaped cog. It probably is supposed to go in that wall slab back there.    Well, that was refreshing.  Let's plug this sucker in and see what's under the hood.  It's...it's...!  Really crappy, ancient food. Great. Thanks, dungeon.    Puzzle solved.  And it unlocked the door right next to it. How convenient.  Some more underground jungle. Fair enough, at least it's pretty.  There was another door right across from that slab Clayton shoved the cog into. Behind it is...  ...The same room, minus a puzzle that needed to be solved. Thanks, dungeon. That floor looks suspicious though. It's probably got some crazy death trap underneath.  Let's have Clayton figure it out while we supervise.  And enjoy our newly found treasure!  Mmm...tastes like...old person mixed with sand.  Huh. Were those there before?  They're probably not dangerous. But, uh...in case they are...let's have Clayton cross over first.  Oh my god!  It sprayed water all over Clayton! That was cool.  But we don't want to get wet, so let's have Clayton to figure out how to disarm it.  In the meantime, our secret door senses are tingling in the previous room.  Aha! Behind this hidden door is...some bags?  Oh, maybe something's behind these heavy yet conveniently moveable statues.  Looks like all that time playing Zelda finally payed for itself.  Although...they make it...look easier in the games...!  Phew. Alright, time to reap our rewards! Wow, it's a...  ...Pile of crap.  Great. Thanks, dungeon.  Clayton finished disarming the trap separating us, although in retrospect we probably could've just...walked around. Either way, let's check out this new room.  Hmm...there's two suspicious statues on each side of the room...  They both look moveable, so let's see what happens.  A little nudge should be enough to activate whatever mechanism it's tied to.  Cool, some more water spouts?  Oh. That's not water.  You know, usually solving puzzles are supposed to help you progress.  Either way, moving the statues revealed some pressure plates, so let's just shove these guys on top of those.  There, problem solved. Now let's see what we got here... Hey!  A hand-hole! We can stick our arms in that and discover all sorts of things! Like a switch, or some treasure!  Or like, a bunch of gears or a guillotine that'll sever our arm.  Either way, Clayton's going to be the one to feel around in there.  Hey! Looks like somebody found a secret!  Cool, some secret bugs!  Oh, and a switch that unlocked this door at the end of the hall.  There's two doors at the end of the hall, so let's have Samara and Clayton split up and explore both. Behind door number 1 is...  Hey, somebody left some perfectly good treasure lying around!  One man's trash...  Is another woman's treasure! Sweet! We can sell this for a quick buck back home.  Behind door number 2 is another underground jungle, but it's currently flooded from that water spout.  At the very least, it'll make a very nice photo for us to frame back home.  Clayton, what are you doing? It's probably just another water tr--  AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!  How the hell did Clayton not even get singed by that!?  Well, now we know what that water spout is for.  Ahh...much better.  Okay, let's just...try taking things more slowly now. There's a treasure chest back there, but it's blocked off by all sorts of thick marsh and plants, so getting there is out of the question right now.  Let's just head through this door behind the fire trap. It's the only way we can go now.  Sweet! Some treasure! That'll get us a pretty penny. But for now, let's have it get us a pretty picture before we collect it.  And over here is a hand-hole!  Clayton's still all scared from the last one, so we'll have to open it ourselves.  Sweet, a hidden door leading to that blocked off treasure chest!  Now what was so important that they had to hide it behind all these puzzles?  Woah, that's a lot of artifacts. Why do we even have a job? We can just go on a vacation if we need money.  It's getting late and Clayton and Samara are getting sleepy. Let's see what's in the next room and we'll tackle the rest tomorrow.  And this one is a doozy. Electric traps, a water well, pushable statues and preassure plates, oh my. There's enough space in this room for us to set up camp, though.  We'll build the tent next to these perfectly safe ancient electricity traps and call it a night.  And after that pleasant sleep, why not take a refreshing bath with this shower in a can?  It even launders your clothes right on your back!  Let's also take a photo of Samara. I forgot to talk about the photography skill. Basically, you just point at stuff and take photos. There's "sets" of subjects you can take photos of. Samara's an example of friends and family. To complete the set we'll have to take pictures of people in Clayton's pool of friends and family. Given this criteria, it's actually impossible for Clayton to complete the set since he has neither.  Now, onto this puzzle. Well gee, how do we solve this brain-teaser?  Maybe stand on the pressure plate right in front of the trap?  Ooh, expert mode. This pad activated another trap.  Alternatively, Clayton just moved the statue to a spot where it shouldn't be.  And it was. Great job, dungeon. That'll teach us to explore things. So what's here that's worth defending with all these traps?  A well?  There's probably treasure down there. We should check it out.  By "we" I of course mean "Clayton." Besides, the worst that'll happen is that the well will seal off and he'll slowly drown to death. Nothing a quick chat with ol' Death can't fix.    Look at Mr. Olympic Diver over here.  The bubbling stopped, so Clayton either found an exit or we need to reconsider our marriage options.  Aww...I mean, oh good.  Looks like there's a tunnel to a new room in that well.  I'll get Clayton to do some pre-puzzle solving before Samara gets over there.  Realistically, there's no way Samara can know that it's safe to go in there at this point.  So for consistency's sake, let's just say the bird told her to jump in.  When Samara reaches the other side, Clayton conveniently opened a hidden wall.  It's a shortcut back to the entrance of this dump. We can use this to exit later.  Let's see...there's a pressure plate and some rubble.  Samara will opt for the difficult task of standing on the pressure plate.  Clayton, on the other hand, will take it easy clearing this pile of collapsed stone.  Which would go much faster if he didn't stop to scratch his butt every ten seconds.  Clayton manages to clear the rubble, only to reveal another pile directly behind it.  I put Samara on butt scratching duties while Clayton moves a statue onto some pressure plates.  Needless to say, activating the pressure plates opens the locked door right next to it.  Time to steal some free money.  Neat, some petrified organs.  That sounds like a great idea that couldn't possibly backfire horribly. We can analyze this later and see if it's worth any more than its estimated value.  Samara clears the rubble and reveals another pressure plate. There's only one statue in the room, so Clayton needs to make a tactical escape from the treasure room so Samara can solve this puzzle.  While she does that, Clayton cleans up some of the puddles the two of them spread.  You know what they say, take only photos and leave only footprints.  Activating the switch opened up these stairs to the lower levels.  Looks like a tomb. Well, more than the rest of the dungeon does, anyways. Hawaiians liked to be buried with treasure, right? Let's see what we can score down here.  Cool, free money!  Sweet, free bones!  Awesome, free mush--  Do you hear whispering?  It greats pretty loud when we get closer to this other staircase going lower below.  Ominous whispering seems welcoming enough. Let's check it out.  Great, a pile of crap.  Let's move this along, we don't have all day here.  In the next room, this treasure room is blocked by...  ...This boulder.  A magical boulder, apparently. If we don't die in this dungeon, we'll have to come back after visiting China and finding this magical boulder-destroying whatever.  There's also some blue statues in this room. Let's multitask here and touch both of them at the same time.  Wow, that whispering really didn't like that.  At least it stopped after a while. Now we just need to put up with that electrical buzzing noise.  Oh wait, that's Clayton being electrocuted. Heh heh, I could watch this all da--  --AAAAAAEEEEEEYYY!  Let's not touch the statues.  Well...maybe not those statues.  But this one has a pressure plate directly across from it. So it's probably meant to be pushed.  Clayton can handle that statue. But there's probably a secret wall right around here.  Called it. Let's survey the area.  Gotta love that moldy mildew scent. Man, what's the water bill for this place?  Hey, a hole!  Let's stick our body parts in it!  That unlockede the door on the other side. There's another door into this room from where Clayton is, so we can just head back there.  Speaking of which, Clayton finished doing the usual statue moving and deactivated all the traps in the room.  Time to see what's Clayton's reward for his diligent puzzle solving.  Bugs!  Pain!  And trapping his fiance behind a wall!  Apparently this pressure plate Clayton activated locks this wall in place. Whoops.  We need to send Clayton back and move the statue so Samara can leave that room.  Or Samara can just use her freakish strength to break open the wall anyways. Whatever. I have the two split up, Clayton going past the electricity room, Samara past the water room.  Clayton first. Let's check this out.  Hey, fancy.  This chest is more opulent than the others. Either we're about to score it big, or this holds the key to this dungeon's boss fight.  Hey, it is both! Well, kinda. It's a key to some room, probably the one blocked by a boulder, and some really crappy metals. Also this key calls this place the "Water Dungeon." Can't imagine why.  Samara's room doesn't get anything too fancy, just a treasure chest and some junk.  But she does get some ancient coins and...  A vase. A fancy one that you pronounce as "vaahs." It's got a piddly sale price, but it'll probably be worth more when we analyze it later.  Samara catches up with Clayton and they both go into this hallway of fountains. It's actually pretty noisy with all these things. It sounds more like a raging river than a room of silent fountains.  But hey, free gold is payment enough for putting up with this noise. This chest just had a bunch of money. Not like I'm complaining.  Our last puzzle of this dungeon, if you can call it a puzzle, is this pressure plate that's placed plain as day in front of this wall.  It's the only door we can go through, and it leads back outside. Looks like we're done with this dungeon until we can come back with the magical boulder exploder thing in China.  That was fun, and we just might turn a profit from this whole trip. Maybe even a net profit coupled with the cost of flying here if we do particularly well.  Our vacation is almost over, so for our last few hours, Samara and Clayton screw around at the beach.    Heh. Alright, that's enough fun. Time to head home and sell these relics for some unbelievable cash!  WHAT!?  I don't believe this! Every single one of these relics are piles of junk! They're hardly worth ten bucks! This whole trip was just a giant waste of time AND money!  And worst of all, Clayton is skinny again! Oh wait...Clayton. He was taking photos, wasn't he? At the very least, we have Clayton's photos to capture the memories of our first trip. Let's check them out.  ...The ones of the dungeon are all blurry...  ...The pictures of Samara are all corrupted...  ...Aaand the rest have Clayton's giant sausage fingers blocking the shot. ...  ...I hate you. To do ☑ Travel abroad ☐ Tragic clown to the face ☐ Adopt a magical unicorn ☐ Blame it on Quincey ☐ Time travel ☐ Become an official criminal ☐ ☐ Try forming a band ☐ Stop the freak show ☐ Do some more alchemy ☐ Throw a bachelorette party ☐ Try every job ☐ Punish Quincey and Brenda for their insubordination ☐ Become the Hotdog ☐ Blow up the fanciest thing we don't want ☐ Install an elevator ☐ See how Gengis is doing Theta Zero fucked around with this message at 01:29 on Aug 5, 2015 |
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Jun 29, 2015 17:10
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You're not supposed to rest except when you run out of daily spells (every room), don't you know proper dungeon crawling etiquette? 
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Jun 29, 2015 17:24
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Samara and Clayton look like a Disney Channel villain and her bumbling side-kick. When are some tweens going to stop their criminal shenanigans?
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Jun 29, 2015 17:43
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Lotish posted:Samara and Clayton look like a Disney Channel villain and her bumbling side-kick. When are some tweens going to stop their criminal shenanigans? If someone tries to stop Samara, they can expect retribution in the form of explosive. I can have moments of... eccentricity and sometimes be quite curious about things. Please forgive me if I do something foolish or rude.
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Jun 29, 2015 18:17
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Sorry for the wait, I got a new update coming soon, I promise. Also because the vacation days are particularly interactive for all of you, I opted to make the whole vacation just one update. Reread the post if you've read it before now for the rest Samara's vacation.
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Aug 5, 2015 01:32
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So did the
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Aug 5, 2015 03:20
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FredMSloniker posted:So did the It made up for the trip there, but not the junk we bought at the market.
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Aug 5, 2015 03:36
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The sunglasses and the hawk really go well with Samara. This means that Samara must get a hawk. it makes her look good and serves as a weapon against troublemakers.
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Aug 5, 2015 03:46
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Electricity hurt us. Therefore we must hurt electricity. Blow up at least three electric appliances! (that don't belong to us) Possibly combine this with the "punish Quincey and Brenda" task.
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Aug 5, 2015 09:11
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| # ? May 5, 2024 01:58 |
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Build Brenda 2.0 and have the Brendas Fight.
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Aug 5, 2015 09:29
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