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We got this far without mentioning the incomprehensible Dr. Thinker? I seem to only be able to find old MSTs of his work, but here are some choice lines from "Dimision Troubles": "Serena: Look the same! Every the Cherry Bloosoms are out on the tree. Amy: That person look like Chad and a unknown old person with short red hair." "Grya famous on Amy" "Luna: She was not found the Dark Kindgom -- She on of us. (Demon tranforms arms it a phyopath's ax. Amy dodges) Luna: Catch! Say Mercury POWER! Amy: OK! (Catches) MERCURY POWER! (Amy is cover with 3 water waves. Out poops Sailor Mercury)" You can read the MST here: http://svamcentral.org/ewic/mstings/DimisionMST.txt Also, Artemis's Lover, a self-insertion fic wherein the author, a hermaphrodite, has sex with Artemis the magic moon cat. http://www.angelfire.com/geek/papirini/kousagi/badfic/oscar/artloveunedit.txt  "Artemis was too perturbated to notice the 6 cats that were hcasing him."drat! i hate being such a sexy cat!!" Then a loud MEOW filled the air Artemis turned his back, and saw the other cats him "GET THE gently caress OFF MY BACK!YOU BASTARDS, I'M IN A REALLY BAD MOOD TODAY!"he said as he prepared his claws and teeth to fight, he knew that he'll lost, but he couldn't just let those cats kick his butt without a fight. "
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Feb 9, 2015 08:30
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I think there was some weird TVTropes-favorite story describing a war between earth and heaven in the most  way possible that was like 2 million words. Might not be fanfiction? I'm not entirely sure.e: what happened to the tvtropes thread? I haven't looked for it in months. Cuntellectual has a new favorite as of 09:28 on Feb 9, 2015 |
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Feb 9, 2015 09:19
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Anatharon posted:I think there was some weird TVTropes-favorite story describing a war between earth and heaven in the most The Salvation War? Not fanfic, just a great premise mediocrely written by a sperglord. e: Terrible Fanfiction Thread - Mediocrely Written By a Sperglord
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Feb 9, 2015 09:43
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ungulateman posted:The Salvation War? Not fanfic, just a great premise mediocrely written by a sperglord. Seriously. I'm not sure how it managed to make an army of rebelling souls in hell with an army lead by the greatest generals of history boring.
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Feb 9, 2015 10:35
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A month or so ago, my friends and I discovered this gem: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/2709879/1/JigSonic A Sonic the Hedgehog/SAW crossover fanfic, apparently one of five such works on ff.net. It features the classic sonic crew being placed into a variety of deathtraps designed to make them consider their character flaws/maim or kill them Quote in spoilers, as character(s) die. Knuckles stood up and looked around him. There was so much clutter, finding the key would be like finding a shard of the master emerald in the ocean. "Why bother looking for a key when I can just pull this stupid thing off? When I get out of here, I'm gonna make you pay for this!" And with that, the hotheaded echidna started tugging at the belt around his waist. However, just as it was about to snap, the timer issued a tone, and the explosives issued flames and shrapnel. Before Knuckles died screaming, one last thought crossed his mind. 'How could I have failed?'
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Feb 9, 2015 10:43
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Has anyone heard the name Netraptor? She wrote this gigantic Sonic fanfic series for like a decade. Her site's gone now, but some of the highlights include time police, an homage to Hank the Cowdog (some series of kids books), Christian values, an OC who's a sparkledog-esque raptor (not like a Sonic furry but a literal raptor), and Shadow becoming a cyborg. Part of me thinks they weren't that bad, but that might just be rose-tinted glasses.
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Feb 12, 2015 22:12
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Mr Tastee posted:Has anyone heard the name Netraptor? She wrote this gigantic Sonic fanfic series for like a decade. Her site's gone now, but some of the highlights include time police, an homage to Hank the Cowdog (some series of kids books), Christian values, an OC who's a sparkledog-esque raptor (not like a Sonic furry but a literal raptor), and Shadow becoming a cyborg. Did she have a self-insert character who was a velociraptor? Because I remember reading a Sonic fanfic like that when I was a kid.
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Feb 12, 2015 23:04
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If Garfield - First Blood II: Forever Fist isn't in here, it's probably because of a mistake: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6611927/1/Garfield-First-Blood-Part-II-Forever-Fist I am just like Garfield in that I turn my DIO to beyond maximum volume. theironjef has a new favorite as of 23:54 on Feb 12, 2015 |
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Feb 12, 2015 23:52
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Kingkiller_Chronicle It's basically fanfiction by the second book anyways.
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Feb 13, 2015 00:30
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Finisher1 posted:Did she have a self-insert character who was a velociraptor? Because I remember reading a Sonic fanfic like that when I was a kid. Yeah, that's the one.
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Feb 13, 2015 00:40
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Mr Tastee posted:Yeah, that's the one. Is this her? http://www.netraptor.org/ searching for it led me to a wiki user page http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Shaftman quote:Shaftman is a member of the NetRaptor.org forums, which is dedicated to a number of topics ranging from everyday life, to entertainment, to the most bizaare. Shaftman joined NetRaptor.org in March of 1999, under the username Shaft Hedgehog. He had picked the name of Shaft after seeing the Shaft
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Feb 13, 2015 03:22
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So I used to write lovely My Little Pony fanfics when I was a high school freshman. I recently rediscovered my Fanfiction.net account and was prepared to post the fanfics in this thread. However, I had the bright idea of narrating it with the thread's OP since we're friends IRL. So, without further ado, here it is. Link to the original fanfic
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Feb 22, 2015 01:50
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Zarla collects bad fan fiction quotations. The collection goes back ten years or so. It's amazing. and  link, obviously.Also, to contribute more directly, my current favorite fan fiction author.
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Feb 22, 2015 02:32
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UltraVariant posted:So I used to write lovely My Little Pony fanfics when I was a high school freshman. I recently rediscovered my Fanfiction.net account and was prepared to post the fanfics in this thread. However, I had the bright idea of narrating it with the thread's OP since we're friends IRL. So, without further ado, here it is.  We all knew something like this was gonna happen, right?
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Feb 22, 2015 02:54
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UltraVariant posted:So I used to write lovely My Little Pony fanfics when I was a high school freshman. I recently rediscovered my Fanfiction.net account and was prepared to post the fanfics in this thread. However, I had the bright idea of narrating it with the thread's OP since we're friends IRL. So, without further ado, here it is. When you said "high school freshman," I thought "oh someone who really liked that 80s cartoon at the turn of the century." I keep forgetting it's 2015 and "high school freshman" can mean something as recent as 2014. We all had stuff we liked overmuch, and we're all nerds here so every one of us probably has a few dumb fan works out there somewhere on the wilds of the internet. I figured your link would have some silly short stories and I thought, "Maybe it'd make for a good segue to offer my own stuff for a roast, I'm sure I could dig it up and we could all have a good laugh at how I thought it was good writing, or even just funny at all!" I was not expecting this. v don't act so innocent you're the guy's irl friend and you helped him record that... that you're an enabler Fur20 has a new favorite as of 04:58 on Feb 22, 2015 |
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Feb 22, 2015 04:28
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Never again, man....never again. Seriously, you needed a psychologist during freshman year. Maybe a psychiatrist, if you really needed the drugs. I...just what?
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Feb 22, 2015 04:48
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Variant_Eris posted:Never again, man....never again. 4 more episodes of Fanfiction Hell.
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Feb 22, 2015 04:49
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Falcon2001 posted:Having grown up with friends who wrote and read fanfiction obsessively, nothing in My Immortal is beyond the pale for me. If it really is fake, it's not nearly fake enough. My Immortal is fake, on the basis of one primary thing. While there are fanfiction 'writers' who are that bad, they have immensely fragile egos and are looking for praise. If My Immortal was legit, the writer would have quit three or four chapters in, probably putting in one last bit yelling at everyone who was insulting them. They don't handle criticism well, or at all. The fact it kept going denotes someone with a wholly different intention. It's a troll fic. Really though, 99.9 percent of exceptionally terrible fanfiction is either troll fics or mental masturbation of a whole bunch of stripes. You have to go REALLY beyond the pale to be more than just someone's ego jackoff material, or just literal jackoff material. Fallout Equestria is a good example: it's a bunch of men who are terrified that people will make fun of their nonexistent masculinity so they take the little girl's show they like and insert all the most graphic and grim poo poo they can to prove it, and they, are mature, which of course has the exact opposite effect. Even stuff like Methods is just masturbation; you have to get to Pokegirls level misogyny before it becomes truly BAD. On that basis, the worst fanfic I've ever tried to peruse is The Girl Who Lived, which seems to have been mostly purged from the internet as if (here's the Encyclopedia Dramatica page if you really care). On the surface it's just another 'gender flips Harry Potter, turns character into horrific Mary Sue' story, but there's two exceptionally aggravating aspects to it that elevate it above the rest. 1) It plagiarizes massive chunks of J.K Rowling's actual work. 2) The 'writer' clearly thought they were superior to Rowling, so there's all this snide mockery of aspects in the books all throughout the 'story', primarily the main character explaining jokes like the writer believed the jokes were stupid. So this 'writer' not only had the gall to steal huge parts of the actual book, but spend the whole time insulting it and Rowling. Most fanfiction is terrible, but for the absolute worst, I think it's about the closest you can come to defiling a work. At least Methods didn't mix outright theft with all his arrogant masturbation. Cornwind Evil has a new favorite as of 07:41 on Feb 22, 2015 |
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Feb 22, 2015 07:37
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Cornwind Evil posted:My Immortal is fake, on the basis of one primary thing. While there are fanfiction 'writers' who are that bad, they have immensely fragile egos and are looking for praise. If My Immortal was legit, the writer would have quit three or four chapters in, probably putting in one last bit yelling at everyone who was insulting them. They don't handle criticism well, or at all. The fact it kept going denotes someone with a wholly different intention. It's a troll fic. Well, she also hooks up with Marty McFly at one point. So that should probably also be a tipoff.
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Feb 22, 2015 08:56
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JollityFarm posted:
quote:ShakespeareHemmingway Author has written 23 stories for Garfield And I stopped right there. That's some balls. "ShakespeareHemmingway" writes GARFIELD.
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Feb 22, 2015 17:35
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Davros1 posted:And I stopped right there. That's some balls. "ShakespeareHemmingway" writes GARFIELD. Garfield: First Blood Part II: Forever Fist posted:"Haha Garfield it is too late. Natalie Portman soul is mine and my life will be immortal!" Ashton Kutcher declared with vile grin. Are you saying that's NOT Hemingway-level writing quality? 
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Feb 22, 2015 18:14
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ShakespeareHemmingway and Hans von Hozel are both god-tier trolls, but even they are bested by ComicsNix:"Love Beyond Circuits, Love Beyond Flesh" posted:Granted my fellow cilindrical pal, you can enter my dark caves of mystery." said Optimus. There's also his magnum opus "Doomsday Womb" , which I would love to quote here if not for its pedophilia and bestiality. Still linking it because it is absolutely his defining creation.
Sham bam bamina! has a new favorite as of 20:49 on Feb 22, 2015 |
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Feb 22, 2015 20:28
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Cornwind Evil posted:My Immortal is fake, on the basis of one primary thing. While there are fanfiction 'writers' who are that bad, they have immensely fragile egos and are looking for praise. If My Immortal was legit, the writer would have quit three or four chapters in, probably putting in one last bit yelling at everyone who was insulting them. They don't handle criticism well, or at all. The fact it kept going denotes someone with a wholly different intention. It's a troll fic. But she ran a Youtube channel with Raven. If it were a trollfic, whoever wrote it would have to have coordinated making a youtube channel starring girls acting like idiot teenagers. Not to mention, Raven was writing lovely HP self-insert fics that romance Draco at the same time as Tara. Including slapfights over posters and sweaters. I'm Not Okay posted:a/n: TARA IS DA BIGGEST loving BITCH EVER AND BY THE WAY I'M A BIGGER MCR FAN AND GERARD IS MINE 4EVA SO gently caress U! AND I'M NOT GIVING U UR SWEATER BACK
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Feb 23, 2015 01:13
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I did the sequel. The OP and I might start doing any terrible fanfics besides my own. That would be fun. Video Fanfic
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Mar 1, 2015 20:11
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There's one terrible fanfic I remember vividly from my childhood, and I remember it mostly because I think it was the first work of fiction I ever read that seemed to me to be trying to force a system of mortality on its readers. Seriously. I'm probably going to be ashamed of all the  I'm about to type but this fanfic really freaked me out when I was a kid, and not because of sex or rape or anything like that. Honestly this story would probably belong in the "I was friends with an anime girl" thread in My first internet forum were the official Nintendo forums. They're closed now but before that Nintendo allowed people posting fan-fics, even giving a whole board for fanfics, and back then I liked reading them. A lot of them were incomprehensible word vomit, which meant the ones with actually literate writers got a lot of readers. I remember there was a gang of Metroid writers who loved writing sprawling Metroid "epics" , with each user taking turns writing chapters. A few times they offered readers the chance to write chapters of their own, but whenever someone outside their circle wrote a chapter all the new characters they introduced would die and their plot twists untwisted. Honestly it was a weird community, but the weirdest of them all was SSJDKCREW. SSJ was super-popular because he was one of the literate ones and he began with writing "novelizations" of Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask. Then he started working on sequels and things got really freaking weird. They started out normally enough, but in the middle of Link fighting off new evils and poo poo as you'd expect suddenly an Earth-man in his '50s named Mark warped into Hyrule. He went on to take this grand tour of Hyrule and all its races, and what do you know, Hyrule's a utopia! You see because the only bad people that ever showed up in Hyrule in OoT were Ganon or Ganon-influenced, obviously Hylians didn't have original sin, I guess. I remember how SSJ would engage in long explanations pointing this out, and when people pointed out exceptions in the game, like this house where everbody was cursed into spiders due to their greed or this graveyard dungeon that had text talking about how bloody Hyrule's history was, he'd come up with some dismissive explanation for that. I learned what abortion was because of how Mark was explained to how the local race of woman-warriors conceived through meditation and, when he explained to a woman sometimes children weren't wanted in America and how they were aborted, she was horrified and talked about how meditation meant all children were wanted. Eventually he went visiting back to Earth to try to bring his family to Hyrule, but they tell him Hyrule sounds stupid and they'd rather have TVs and make-up and stuff and so he abandons them forever. I don't think he's ever important to the story after this. It gets worse. The next part is a sequel to Wind Waker, the game which I remember him claiming literally made him cry because it destroyed Hyrule (by flooding it). He used examples like a hobo and a rich man who show up in the game to explain how the island world of Wind Waker had become as horrible and sinful as our own. The original Link comes forward in time, works together with Wind Waker Link to fight Ganondorf again, and at the end? Link decides that the new world is horribly evil because it isn't as perfect as Hyrule. He tells the other Link this, who freaks out about how he's basically destroying all the people of his timeline, and the first Link basically says "Yep, and they all deserve it too" and whisks back to his own time to retcon Wind Waker out of existence. To cap it all off Link rejects every other love interests that comes his way and marries Saria, his childhood friend who is of a race that never grows up, but stay as children forever. Honestly I remember me and several others arguing with him how messed up this seemed, but in retrospect he seemed to be pretty messed up. He and his eternal supporter, and online girlfriend called HYLIANELF, seemed obsessed with the N64 Hyrule as some perfect Edenic utopia, and both thought WW left them heart-broken and betrayed. The girlfriend sometimes implied she was emotionally abused. I randomly googled his name some time ago when something reminded me of him, and found him and his fanfic on ff.net. I guess it's here if anybody wants to take a look, because I sure as heck don't want to read it again. God, it's embarrassing I still remember all this crap, but I guess its impossible to forget how a fanfic taught you about abortion.
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Mar 2, 2015 03:49
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This reminds me of a post I found years ago on a forum that was mostly dedicated to making fun of furries. I lost interest quickly, but I saved this story about one of the Internet's first crazy fan-fiction writers.JRR posted:HOW TO GET THE MORTIMER STORY I couldn't find the actual Mortimer story after a cursory search. Perhaps it's gone forever.
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Mar 2, 2015 06:57
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I found part one.quote:--- With a masterpiece like this, how could you resist the next thrilling parts?
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Mar 3, 2015 23:23
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http://www.vulture.com/2015/03/bizarre-unsolved-mystery-of-my-immortal.html
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Mar 14, 2015 23:25
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quote:Like Stonehenge or the works of Shakespeare, we’ll probably never know who was behind “My Immortal” 
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Mar 15, 2015 03:22
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Shakespeare didn't write any of his plays. It was someone else with the same name.
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Mar 15, 2015 04:41
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I wrote a fanfic, once. When I was 12 I was heavily invested in the band The Offspring. Well, I wrote that the lead singer Dex Holland and Noodles (the guitarist) were in a secret homosexual tryst when they got caught by the cops and shot to death. Anyway, that's it. Cya.
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