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*streams of piss spell out "Monday Night Football"*
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Jan 6, 2015 18:16
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| # ? May 6, 2024 03:05 |
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nude women walk onscreen and contort themselves into a shape. they spell out "SPORTS"
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Jan 6, 2015 18:17
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Sweet Tea posted:*streams of piss spell out "Monday Night Football"* "Sponsored by Bud Light"
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Jan 6, 2015 18:18
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*enormous Lexus advertisement takes up 2/3 of screen over slow helicopter shot of stadium, despite the fact that the pitcher has already warmed up and the count is 0-1*
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Jan 6, 2015 18:21
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THIS CALL TO THE BULLPEN BROUGHT TO YOU BY WHO loving CARES
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Jan 6, 2015 18:22
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*Pre 9/11 promo shows football player throwing football so hard it passes completely through both Twin Towers*
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Jan 6, 2015 18:23
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*a hiker climbs to the top of the mountain upon which is sitting a spartan temple* *a lone figure sits within, face shrouded in darkness* *the hiker listens as the figure leans forward and imparts his words of guarded wisdom* ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL
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Jan 6, 2015 18:23
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*elaborate technical graphics and whooshing noises* *pistons move and cogs turn* DUH NA NUH, DUH NA NUH *they reveal "SC" logo*
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Jan 6, 2015 18:25
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a pregnant robot lays on a table with stirrups and gives birth to a giant metal soccerball. a section of the soccer ball flips down into a ramp like a space ship and a tiny nude man walks out and waves at the camera, afterwards yelling out "It's soccer!"
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Jan 6, 2015 18:25
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Monkey Fracas posted:*a hiker climbs to the top of the mountain upon which is sitting a spartan temple* *The hiker pulls back his hood and reveals he is a football robot, indicating that yes, he is ready for some football*
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Jan 6, 2015 18:25
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*Football robot dances in front of screen for like fifteen seconds for no reason other than to give the commentators time to read another list of sponsors as though that four-minute commercial break didn't just loving happen*
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Jan 6, 2015 18:26
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Applewhite posted:*Pre 9/11 promo shows football player throwing football so hard it passes completely through both Twin Towers* *post 9/11 promo shows football player throwing football so hard it passes completely through Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein pictures hastily taped over twin towers*
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Jan 6, 2015 18:27
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Bip Roberts posted:*post 9/11 promo shows football player throwing football so hard it passes completely through Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein pictures hastily taped over twin towers* *tower wreckage still visible behind figures for a split second*
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Jan 6, 2015 18:28
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just a naked man cartwheeling into the blackness of space while jacking off and shooting ropes of thick jizzum forever
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Jan 6, 2015 18:28
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*football robot pursues film career* *football robot looks for the real killers*
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Jan 6, 2015 18:28
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*New post-9/11 baseball intro rolled out, is covered in flag imagery*
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Jan 6, 2015 18:28
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*While pitcher warms up, a graphic appears on the screen with random pipes and brackets, a Starbucks logo, and his pseudo-scouting report*
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Jan 6, 2015 18:30
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Seriously though, if Hank Jr doesn't get your loins pumping for some goddamn footbaw.
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Jan 6, 2015 18:31
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*Replaces scoreboard numbers for balls, strikes, and outs with little colored circles for no particular reason*
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Jan 6, 2015 18:32
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*A football-shaped satellite orbiting in space abducts Seahawks player. In a scene paralleling the climax of Oblivion the football player confronts the satellite's master: a giant Packers logo made out of liquid metal. He spikes a football into the logo's core and the satellite explodes, saving the earth but sacrificing himself in the process*
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Jan 6, 2015 18:32
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*fluorescent grid appear on the football field denoting the Wing Stop 30 Yard Defense Zone* If you team gets a Wing Stop in in under 30 yards you get 30% off at your next Wing Stop stop.
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Jan 6, 2015 18:33
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Bip Roberts posted:*fluorescent grid appear on the football field denoting the Wing Stop 30 Yard Defense Zone* *crosshairs jump wildly from player to player with no apparent purpose*
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Jan 6, 2015 18:34
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a football robot is shown doing a backflip into the frame. he spikes a robot baby into the ground and it flies into a million pieces while the fully grown football robot does a popular endzone victory dance.
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Jan 6, 2015 18:36
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*a noise of increasing frequency is heard as a power meter fills to the top, upon which a large flashing warning sign with rotating lights and blaring klaxons lights up and indicates READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL status*
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Jan 6, 2015 18:36
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*Nova Corps fighters in football team colors engage in a dogfight over a futuristic city as a giant football descends ominously from the sky*
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Jan 6, 2015 18:40
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*complete 30-second preview spot for network's new sitcom plays in the bottom half of the screen while camera moves to show stars of said sitcom sitting in the crowd* *something really important could happen down on the actual field, but you'd never know*
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Jan 6, 2015 18:41
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*football robot suffers hardware failure from overclocking, commits suicide by decapitating self with a rocket propelled steel football emblazoned with the Bud Bowl logo*
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Jan 6, 2015 18:41
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a fetus inside an embryo is shown floating in space. it is holding a football
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Jan 6, 2015 18:41
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*three people in military dress turn keys in console at once* may god have mercy on our souls *missile bay doors slowly open at surface, giant football flies out and through giant uprights*
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Jan 6, 2015 18:47
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Kyle Reese: Listen, and understand. That football robot is out there. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead. *football robot jumps through brick wall like the kool-aid man, spikes a football, and does a victory dance as Kyle Reese and Sarah Connor run at a full sprint in the opposite direction*
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Jan 6, 2015 18:52
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*aliens fire a missile from the nearest habitable star system* *it takes 370 years to arrive at earth which in the meantime has been nuked into a wasteland by humanity. the last survivors of the apocalypse stare wide eyed into the sky as the missile descends upon them from beings they have never spoken to or beheld with their own eyes* *the missile strikes the earth with such force that it sends the earth out of the orbit of the sun, sending it spiraling through the darkness* *a billion years later, the debris cloud from earth strikes a planet around a yellow sun in the andromeda galaxy and wipes all life out on it except one lone robot. it picks up a piece of debris. it is a basketball. it slam dunks the ball through a nearby basketball hoop and then transforms into the NBA logo*
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Jan 6, 2015 18:52
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StandardVC10 posted:*complete 30-second preview spot for network's new sitcom plays in the bottom half of the screen while camera moves to show stars of said sitcom sitting in the crowd* *Sports anchors spend an additional 20 second segment discussing new sitcom in a manner that is apparently ad-libbed but is in fact tightly scripted*
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Jan 6, 2015 18:54
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*new movie teaser magically appears out of the center's butt before the quarterback can move into position*
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Jan 6, 2015 18:56
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*innumerable dark footballs converge on the planet jupiter, gravitationally collapsing it into a newborn star, while the following message appears on video screens throughout the solar system*code:
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Jan 6, 2015 18:57
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*The council of galactic elders meets, their faces grim and drawn. It is a dark task before them this day* *Before them, a basketball player stands defiant, bound by thick manacles that completely envelop both forearms. He is further restrained by magnetic boots and he is encircled by glowing rings that hum with deadly energy* *The elders nod, one by one, indicating a unanimous guilty verdict* *For the crime of visiting inhuman dunks on the people of an innocent planet and completely destroying their civilization, the basketball player is banished from the Galactic Federation* *The dome of the council chamber opens and the basketball player is swept away by a flying NBA logo* *NBA logo drifts through space for a thousand years until it makes contact with a little known backwater planet.* *That planet... is EARTH!* *NBA Playoffs begin*
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Jan 6, 2015 19:02
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*Ad for Archer season premiere digitally overlaid over entire field during game*
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Jan 6, 2015 19:04
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*Last play reenacted by neon green wireframe models of players. Football trails lightcycle-style energy wall*
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Jan 6, 2015 19:07
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*a war hammer 40k man runs with a metal football, beheading orcs as he makes his way towards the end zone, at the end of his run he is stopped by an explosion, from which erupts a volcano. The camera swings up top to reveal a scantily clad blonde country singer screaming about football in a shrill country twang. Two steel plates crash together revealing the nfl logo*
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Jan 6, 2015 19:09
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*congo, 1959. the first known death of an hiv/aids patient occurs. this kicks off an epidemic that infects millions and kills thousands over the subsequent decades.* *scientists work tirelessly to find a cure for AIDS. the human genome is sequenced and this gives doctors a new chance at curing the awful disease* *genetic cures prove fruitless, but in the year 2025, nanotechnology is developed as a cure for many diseases. the camera zooms into the back of a scientist's head and through it, along the neural pathways and the ocular nerve until it zooms into the microscope viewer and gives a view of the petri dish* *tiny little nanotech bots eat away at a microscopic view of the virus and the camera continues to zoom until it centers on tiny words written on the hull of one of the nanotech robots* WIMBLEDON
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Jan 6, 2015 19:09
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| # ? May 6, 2024 03:05 |
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*John Madden curled up on the turf as 8 men simultaneously pummel his body with full strength spirals from 5 yards away as the word "FOOTBALL" blinks on the screen*
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Jan 6, 2015 19:12
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