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  How is it played? I am going to keep this brief as I assume most of us (except the referees) know the rules by now. On the assumption that anyone yet to learn the rules (and yet also reading this section) is probably going to be an American, I will be comparing Rugby League to the NFL. You get a structured set of 6 plays which we call tackles (aka downs). The main method of scoring is tries (aka touchdowns) and they're worth 4 points each. If you score a try, you can attempt a conversion for a further 2 points. We also have penalty goals for infringements that are also worth 2 points and highly situational drop goals which are worth 1 point. There's 13 people on the park for each side and an interchange bench of a further 4 players that can rotate with the starting side. These players all have individual positions which I won't bore you with but suffice to say there is a forward pack who bashes the other team, playmakers who run everything (aka quarterbacks) and a back line who run fast and hopefully score the bulk of your tries. Why do we love the game? On the field, it's physical. Players are running into each other at top speed and it looks like it hurts a lot. Sometimes someone does something amazingly athletic to score a try or prevent a try. Apologies for the poor quality but here are some videos of hard tackles, try saving tackles and amazing tries. Off the field, the players are newspaper headline machines. Recreational drugs. Performance enhancing drugs. Drink Driving. Fights in bars. Blowjobs from dogs. Drinking your own urine. Gang bangs. making GBS threads in hallways. We've got everything! Ready to hear about the teams? ---  The Brisbane Broncos were established in 1987, have won 6 premierships and their last premiership was in 2006. They have been stuck in mid-table obscurity for a few years but they'll be hoping this can change with Wayne Bennett back at the helm. They love playing fullbacks at five-eight, centre and wing which explains why they've signed Boyd, Eden and Milford despite already having Hodges, Kahu and Maranta on the books. Predicted Finish: 3rd. Supporters: Akileese, BCR, BlackShadow, cpaf, Dirty Frank, GrunZicle, ili. You should support this club if you're a feral QLDer missing half your teeth.  The Canberra Raiders were established in 1981, have won 3 premierships and their last premiership was in 1994. No one wants to live in Canberra and their team has been awful for over a decade. Any talented played has been let go by the club after a string of behavioural issues, and then these players have subsequently cleaned up their acts and signed for clubs in Sydney - very covenient! They've cut a lot of dead weight for the 2015 season but the same could be said almost every year so we aren't expecting anything from them again. Ricky Stuart is still the coach so their performance will be everyone's fault except his. Predicted Finish: 16th. Supporters: aejix, Burn Down Canberra. You shouldn't bother supporting this club.  The Canterbury Bulldogs were established in 1934, have won 8 premierships and their last was in 2004 with a team full of salary cap cheats. They've been a solid side over the last few years under the stewardship of Des Hasler but two grand final appearances have resulted in no new premierships. Dirtbag hooker Michael Ennis has been moved on to the Sharks in a swap with young gun Michael Lichaa but otherwise the side is more or less unchanged. Predicted Finish: 7th. Supporters: Dumpstar, FlickingFire, Gobbledock, Hyperriker. You should support this club if you're ethnic.  The Cronulla Sharks were established in 1963 and have never won a premiership. Ouch! They've got a great forward pack and they've made some solid signings in Bukuya (from the Warriors) and Ennis (from the Bulldogs), and they've got a point to prove after their season was derailed last year for belated drug investigations from previous regimes, but I can't see it all coming together with an almost completely new spine. Predicted Finish: 14th. Supporters: Big Steveo, Lacklustre Hero. You should support this club if you like drugs, glassing people or drinking your own urine from the source.  The Gold Coast Titans were established in 2007 and have never won a premiership, but they're new so that's OK. There is absolutely nothing interesting happening with this side and they will continue to be mid-table performers on the back of a very talented halves pairing in Aidan Sezer and Albert Kelly. Predicted Finish: 13th. Supporters: Byolante, iajanus, oystertoadfish, Redeye Flight, Sojobo. You should support this club because there is nothing else to do on the Gold Coast.  The Manly Sea Eagles were established in 1946, have won 8 premierships and their last premiership was in 2011. The players, coaches, management and fans have been cunts since inception and this has never changed. Originally hated for being a rich club that bought the best players from other clubs to win premierships, their holier-than-thou attitude hasn't changed despite almost going bankrupt earlier this decade. Objectively, the second-most hated team. Predicted Finish: 2nd. Supporters: Crawfoot, Fanatic, The Deadly Hume. You should support this club if you're OK with no one liking you.  The Melbourne Storm were established in 1997, have won 2 premierships and their last premiership was in 2012. Supporters of this club think that they're true victims of hate coming from Sydney and they blame this for their two stripped titles (which explains why they've won 4 grand finals but have 2 premierships to show for it). Everyone else simply acknowledges that it is cheating to pay your squad twice as much as any other team, and then lie about it. They've left an unfortunate stain on the game that will probably never be removed. Most of us would feel better about them if they would just start performing poo poo as atonement but that probably won't happen given they have 3 of the top players in the game in Cameron Smith, Billy Slater and Cooper Cronk and have made some solid signings for 2015 in Dale Finucane, Marika Koroibete and Tom Learoyd-Lahrs. The only shining light is that those 3 top players are another year older and are no longer the spring chickens they once were; they're still good but they're definitely not ageing like fine wines. Predicted Finish: 8th. Supporters: Franko, I Love Sanchize, piss explosion. You should support this club if you have no respect for yourself.  The Newcastle Knights were established in 1988, have won 2 premierships and their last premiership was in 2001. They've got fanatical supporters but that's about all that can be said for them. The squad is terrible and nothing is expected out of them in 2015. Club favourite Kurt Gidley is due for another season-ending injury. Predicted Finish: 11th. Supporters: bowmore, fuckpot, Mackay, LuckySevens. You should support this club because there is nothing else to do in Newcastle.  The New Zealand Warriors were established in 1995 and have never won a premiership. But what an entertaining side! Typically slow starters to a season, they're known for putting 50 points on a team one week, and then having it done to them the next week. Always great fun to watch but their lack of consistency should continue. Predicted Finish: 10th. Supporters: Ewar Woowar, Jono C, Smorgasboard. You should support this club because you're an edgy New Zealander who doesn't want to like Rugby Union like everyone else in the country.  The North Queensland Cowboys were established in 1992 and have never won a premiership. Most of us accept that the secret NRL High Council has a hidden reason for ensuring that they never win since they have been the victims of a terrible refereeing decision in the finals for three years in a row. They've still got a great strong young side so, once again, expect them to go far and then fall at the final hurdle through no fault of their own. Expected finish: 5th. Supporters: foolish fool. You should support this club if you're comfortable with not getting a fair go.  The Parramatta Eels were established in 1946, have won 4 premierships and their last premiership was in 1986. They were surprise improvers in 2014 but no one will be tipping much from them in 2015 with star player Jarryd Hayne leaving to try and make a fist of the NFL. They still have a solid young squad and I don't expect them to embarrass themselves. Capabale of flashes of brilliance which will leave you depressed in between these occurances. Expected finish: 9th. Supporters: Danoss, Saul Goode. You should support them if you enjoy rollercoasters.  The Penrith Panthers were established in 1966, have won 2 premierships and their last premiership was in 2003. The surprise performers of 2014, new coach Ivan Cleary and a host of underrated savvy signings saw them make it all the way to the preliminary finals when most expected them to miss the top 8 altogether. Their starting 17 is practically unchanged and they're definitely capable of winning the premiership in 2015. Predicted Finish: 6th. Supporters: Mootallica, Pig in the City. You should support this club if you're looking for someone inoffensive and on their way up!  The St George Illawarra Dragons were founded in 1998, have won 1 premiership and their last premiership was in 2010. Fans of this club will probably say I'm underselling them if I don't mention they were a merger between the St George Dragons (15 premierships) and the Illawarra Steelers (0 premierships). For most of the early 2000s they had an incredibly strong squad and continually underachieved. In 2010, they had a much weaker squad but Wayne Bennett was able to drag them to the grand final with a boring style of play that suffocated other teams. Ever since then, they've been complete poo poo again and 2015 will not be substantially different despite the 'key' signings of Josh Dugan and Benji Marshall who are talented but very inconsistent. Predicted Finish: 12th. Supporters: heladocasero, Gregorio. You should support them if you won't get angry watching your club be obviously mis-managed.  The South Sydney Rabbitohs were founded in 1901, have won 21 premierships and their last premiership was in 2014. Where do I start? A founding club, the most successful club ever, and last season's premiers. Often thought to be everyone's 'second' club, they're also considered to be the "pride of the league" and there is an old adage that if Souths are going well, then Rugby League is going well. A somewhat weaker squad in 2015 means that they've fallen back to the chasing pack. Premiership contenders, but it's generally considered very difficult to go back-to-back in the modern game. Predicted Finish: 4th. Supporters: Antitonic, Mills, Penguin Radar. You should support them if you want a club rich with history, passion and success. Or if you love Russell Crowe.  The Sydney Roosters were founded in 1901, have won 13 premierships and their last premiership was in 2013. Where do I start? Objectively, the most hated club. Their players are cunts and their fans are cunts who don't even turn up to their games. Despite this, they're a very wealthy club and can afford to attract talented players. Their squad is still very strong in 2015 and, as much as everyone wants to see them fail, they're top contenders. Predicted Finsh: 1st. Supporters: Apollodorus, Green Eggs and Sam, Ribbo. You should support them if you identify as a oval office.  The West Tigers were founded in 1999, have won 1 premiership and their last premiership was in 2005. Fans of this club will probably say I'm underselling them if I don't mention they were a merger between the Western Suburbs Magpies (4 premierships) and the Balmain Tigers (11 premierships). On the field, they weren't a very good side in 2014 and having let a few of their better performing players to go in order to sign absolutely no one of relevant it's difficult to see how 2015 is going to be any better. Throw in off-field drama with their finances and captain Robbie Farah who is slowly trying to hire his family members into all areas of the club and you have a recipe for further disaster. Predicted Finish: 15th. Supporters: Abalone Malone, Contra Duck, emjayelle, Gorbash, MacDougall, Minisune. You should support them if you like to drink yourself unconcious while watching your team play. Mills fucked around with this message at 03:23 on Jan 12, 2015 |
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| # ¿ May 22, 2024 18:26 |
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FIRST UTILITY SUPER LEAGUE 2015, A NEW ERA™ [WITH THANKS TO  STICKYFNGRBOY ]It's a new Super League era™ in tyool 2015. How long that era will last is anybody's guess. I wouldn't put money on it. In a complete restructure, there are now 12 clubs in the top division, down from 14 prior to this year (Goodbye London and Bradford), and 12 teams in the Kingston Press Championship (the division lower than Super League). Promotion and relegation have returned, but, well, not as we know it. Here's what happens: Super League: 12 teams play each other twice in the regular season, plus one game in the 'Magic Weekend'. The Magic Weekend is when all clubs meet in one stadium over a three day period, all of which are televised. More Money Weekend, basically. Championship: 12 teams play each other twice in the regular season, plus one game in the 'Summer Bash' (idk wtf this even is it can't be for money). After playing 23 games, the 24 teams involved will split into three groups of 8, based on league position, which we now call the SUPER 8s™. Still with me? The top 8 remain Super League. - guaranteed top flight status for 2016 The middle 8 will be The Qualifiers - top 3 clubs guaranteed top flight status 2016 - 4th and 5th placed clubs will play for the MILLION POUND GAME which will be the last top flight spot for 2016. the bottom 8 will contest the Championship Shield - who cares. From here, everyone plays 7 games in a league format, the scheduling of which will... get this, there's a grid to explain it.  Yeah. After these seven matches, the top four super league clubs will play the play offs (1st v 4th, 2nd vs 3rd) with the winners of these games going on to play the Grand Final. Easy. Rules: There are a number of rule changes this season. If a player cannot continue because he needs 'concussion assessment' his club can use a 'free interchange'. Referees have to give a decision before going to the screen (as in NRL, I think). Obstruction has changed so a team has to be 'materially disadvantaged' before it can be given as an infringement. This will hopefully stop the shambles that was last season. Unsportsmanlike conduct, dissent, repeated infringements and foul play/dangerous contact are the only four guidelines that refs now have to follow wrt giving cards or putting a player on report (down from seven infringements last season). Now because of the ridiculous amount of explaining I've had to do, which is necessary to understand the god drat format they've decided upon, no one will want to know about the teams involved. So I'll give you the 4 clubs which will (probably) finish in the play off places. If anyone disagrees feel free to add your own, and mills can choose to edit it in later. The top four clubs will (very probably) be, in descending order of greatness:  Leeds Rhinos. Poor showing in the league last time out will be rectified this season with the addition of Adam Cuthbertson, who is a good Aussie, and a number of young players coming through the excellent Headingley academy. Current holders of the Challenge Cup, beating Castleford Tigers in last year's final (HA). 2015 is the great Jamie Peacock's final, and testimonial year.  Phwoar!  St Helens RLFC. Current champions, also finished top of the pile after the regular season. No mean feat. Lance Hohaia, the st helens back, was on the end of this punch  which led to Ben Flower, the Wigan prop, being sent off, in a move that guaranteed Saints victory. Team player, Lance. Good chance of making another Grand Final, this lot.  Warrington Wolves. It's always their year. They'll make top four this year more down to other clubs being garbage rather than anything they do themselves. A collection of really good players who on their day can beat anyone, but who, more often than not, bottle it on the big stage. The 2014 Man of Steel, Daryl Clark, joined from Cas Tigers, and may make a big difference. Probably won't. Some giant Aussie guy called Ashton Sims also joined in the winter break. He looks big.  Wigan Warriors. Lost in the grand final last time out to St Helens. Because their prop, Ben Flower, did this to Lance Hohaia. Team player, Ben. Anyway, Wigan did well last season, unexpectedly for most people after Sam Tomkins, their star man, went to New Zealand. Hard to tell what they'll do because I hate them and want them to fail in everything but they'll probably win it again the fuckers. Wigan, btw, are the only club I know of that give their fans a squad number. 18, I think it is. Morons. Still bang on about the 'glory years' which was the duration of time in which they were the only RL club in England who were professional and played against pit-men and plumbers every week. (if anyone does actually want the remaining 8 clubs writing up I will happily get to it later in the week, but who actually cares or even reads this) edit: Okay here's the remaining eight while i've got a few minutes free.  Castleford Tigers. Runners up in the Challenge Cup final at Wembley, will get nowhere near those heights this season after all their good players left. Craig Huby, Weller Hauraki, Lee Gilmour and Dan Fleming all left, but perhaps the biggest loss will be that of Daryl Clark, the young hooker who won last season's Man of Steel award. He's gone to warrington as I already mentioned. Tigers fans have six fingers instead of the more normal five. They used kenny, the tiger with down syndrome, for their logo.  Expect them to be in the middle 8 qualifiers after round 23.  Catalans Dragons. Started last season really badly, but ended up going further than the Leeds Rhinos in the play-offs after embarrassing them at home. Remy Casty and Scott Dureau, along with Morgan Escare, keep them ticking along nicely and they should find themselves in the top 8 after 23 games. Totally forgot about Todd Carney joining this club. Should make for some interesting headlines at least, which is more than can be normally said about the Dragons.  Huddersfield Giants. Took Craig Huby and Jamie Ellis from the Tigers, and both will be good additions to a decent squad. Danny Brough is the stand out half and Sean Lunt is a quality hooker, but they're a decent side all round and play well together. Top 8.  Hull FC. One of two sides from the fishing village of Hull, on the river Humber. Signed Richard Whiting because he's named after a fish and they got confused. Gareth Ellis, former Leeds and Wests Tigers forward, plays for this lot. They must pay him loads because he's miles better than the rest of this shambles. Middle 8 qualifiers  Hull Kingston Rovers. The second hull side. Recently signed Leeds legend Ryan Bailey, but he won't change much. They're garbage. Middle 8 qualifiers.  Salford Red Devils. Built from the ground up by the owner, multi billionaire (maybe) Dr Marwan Koukash. He's currently trying to buy an NRL side. His philosophy at Salford was 'spend a poo poo load of money on average players and make it work', which he's had to change due to that philosophy being completely stupid. Players like Kevin Locke, Ben Jones Bishop, and Rangi Chase will give their fans something to get excited about this season, but they'll not win anything. top 8.  Wakefield Wildcats. Meh. Couple of players who can make things happen, such as Paul McShane and Tim Smith, but no real depth and they'll struggle to win many this season. Ian Kirke is a recent addition from the Rhinos, and he'll improve things in the forward line, but not enough to make any real difference. Middle 8 qualifiers.  Widnes Vikings. I like the Vikings. Kevin Brown is a tasty little back, as is Patrick Ah Van, and Rhys Hanbury knows what he's doing. Manese Manuokafoa, from the Bradford Bulls, and Chris Clarkson from the Rhinos (on loan) will both add strength to a decent set of lads. Some of their fans have a habit of upsetting stewards and causing trouble, but most of them aren't like that at all. They'll finish Top 8. Mills fucked around with this message at 07:23 on Jan 13, 2015 |
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Jan 11, 2015 00:57
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You've got season tickets!  
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Jan 11, 2015 05:27
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Lacklustre Hero posted:ahem. Albert Kelly is signed with Hull KR Who do they play in their halves instead? Mortimer or Hoffman?
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Jan 13, 2015 22:50
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Burn Down Canberra posted:Really from my point of view the best I can hope for is ~9. That would be pretty good. Stuart has cleared out a lot of the poo poo and has brought in some decent talent despite that lolworthy period where he missed out on a stack of high profile signings in a row. I'm not sure I agree with your assessment of your signings and losses. Gains: Blake Austin Josh Hodgson Rhys Kennedy Frank-Paul Nu'uausala Iosia Soliola Sisa Waqa Sam Williams Austin is very quality and Hodgson is worth a go at hooker, but the rest of those signings don't excite me. FPN was solid at the Roosters but solid players at weaker clubs don't always stay solid. Losses: Matt Allwood Terry Campese Jake Foster Matt Frawley Tom Learoyd-Lahrs Sam Mataora Matt McIlwrick Anthony Milford Mosese Pangai Reece Robinson Sami Sauiluma Lagi Setu Brett White Yeah there is a lot of poo poo in here but half of it is just journeymen moving on, and I'm not sure your replacements will be anything other than journeymen. You should have kept Reece too!
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Jan 13, 2015 22:55
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Luke Burgess to the Eagles!
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Jan 21, 2015 06:11
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The problem with the Dragons is they've got half their cap invested in Dugan, Widdop and Marshall. All 3 are talented, and the first 2 are consistent, but how much can they do with absolute poo poo surrounding them?
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Jan 23, 2015 03:53
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NRL Supercoach launches at midnight tonight FYI.
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Jan 27, 2015 03:04
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Any big injuries today?
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Jan 31, 2015 07:51
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We could buy a trophy online or make one in a store. I made one with my mates for like $100. That's nothing between 12-20 people.
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Jan 31, 2015 08:13
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I can do some research when I get back to Australia about a good trophy if people think they can contribute? Let's say in the order of $10-15 pp? It's "mostly" one off cost I guess because each year the previous premier can pay to ship it on; I'll pay the first years shipping if required.
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Jan 31, 2015 08:15
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Yeah but who wants a stock standard trophy
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Jan 31, 2015 08:30
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How are the Rabbits doing?
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Feb 1, 2015 01:00
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We should have put this away!
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Feb 1, 2015 07:51
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Tv feed must be behind. Foxtel website is 10 mins into extra time?
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Feb 1, 2015 08:04
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Oh your comments just sounded behind. So I guess now I can say... When the Rabbits are going well, League is going well. 
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Feb 1, 2015 08:09
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Sixteen clubs, seventeen players per club, for a total of 272. Top 200 is pretty laughable.
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Feb 10, 2015 01:15
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Love the goanna
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Feb 13, 2015 12:22
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Karmichael Hunt, drug trafficking, blah blah, http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2015/feb/20/karmichael-hunt-charged-with-supplying-cocaine
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Feb 19, 2015 23:17
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I'm hearing Dave Taylor's name getting thrown around with the Titans drug crap.
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Feb 20, 2015 03:47
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Hearing Andrew Symonds name being thrown around in connection to the drugs story.
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Feb 23, 2015 04:31
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I am staunchly anti-drugs and I think recreational drugs are stupid. Having said that, even I can see that this is a media beat-up. They're not trafficking drugs; they've bought it for themselves and a few mates. I love stories about stupid league players doing stupid things but this isn't a good example.
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Feb 23, 2015 05:43
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Just hear lots of league rumours. People at work, etc. I think I'm 95% accurate if you go through the things I post.
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Feb 23, 2015 06:12
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I love the Daily Telegraph. THEY never found her body. But her killers would reveal how they had kidnapped her, tortured her, repeatedly raped her, decapitated her, then played soccer with her head. Middle class Westerners, some of them quite possibly Australian professional footballers, enjoyed the cocaine trafficked by these animals.
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Feb 24, 2015 04:59
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Thaiday Hodges Lockyer
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Feb 25, 2015 04:33
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idgi unless its a parody of those ridiculous comments that people are being sexist against triggs, but what an odd thread to bring that up in
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Feb 25, 2015 06:23
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im not defensive, ill cut you
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Feb 25, 2015 06:34
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Oh you're not using the daily tele one
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Mar 3, 2015 01:45
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we've used the daily tele one every year though!
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Mar 3, 2015 02:38
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You think Eagles get stronger after losing Watmough and Stewart and replacing them with a bunch of journeymen props?
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Mar 4, 2015 05:21
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I think Lolohea was only picked because Fisiiahi and Fusitua are out.
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Mar 4, 2015 05:59
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Nathan Friend?
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Mar 5, 2015 01:17
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iajanus posted:Apparently south's grand final win was the most incredible win this century. Thanks Rabs. Which one was better?
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Mar 5, 2015 10:19
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bowmore posted:Knights and Manly 1997 Wrong century. 
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Mar 5, 2015 10:25
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I think Souths are playing exceptionally well given a tough off-season visit to the UK and the supposed premiership hangover. We look like we picked up where we left off last year.
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Mar 5, 2015 11:16
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Wow.
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Mar 5, 2015 11:18
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Rugby league is back!
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Mar 5, 2015 11:30
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Not sure why Bennett only put Parker on for 50 minutes, and then stuck him in hooker for half those minutes.
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Mar 5, 2015 23:16
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2 ACLs 1 Match
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Mar 6, 2015 11:31
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| # ¿ May 22, 2024 18:26 |
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I'll just leave this here. https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10206093547648366
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Mar 6, 2015 21:26
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