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 Hambone, I know you want attention at all times ever, and I appreciate your commitment to being in the way. You need to stop changing my monitor settings with your butt, though. Also, please stop laying on the keyboard's "volume up" button. I am now blind and deaf. Edit: Look at your dumb loving face. You're so proud of yourself. ScamWhaleHolyGrail fucked around with this message at 04:39 on Aug 14, 2015 |
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Aug 14, 2015 03:46
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Your cat is two cats. Tell it to stop that.
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Aug 14, 2015 04:46
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Chicken in Black posted:Bird, please stop hopping onto my laptop in order to poo poo on the keys. Also please stop trying to rip the keys off, you little bastard. give me my shift key back also please could you not look so loving pleased with yourself about it?
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Aug 15, 2015 21:32
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Ok seriously, you little bastard, STOP eating the cat food. You have your own food! Go eat out of your own motherfucking bowl, it's not even that different! Jesus christ, this is the third time in the last week I've seen you try to shoulder the cat out of the way while he's eating and take his food away. Keep this up and I'm going to start throwing you out of the house when I feed the cat.
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Aug 16, 2015 18:07
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Lucy: I don't know why you're so obsessed with eating the leaves from the eggplant in the garden, but STAHP. There's a reason why humans don't eat them. Seriously, I have a bunch of actual nutritious, tasty, non-toxic stuff like tomatoes and lettuce and squash and actual eggplants growing back there and you go for the one thing (well, apart from the tomato leaves) that turns you into a sad, lethargic lump every time you eat a piece. Are you getting high off it? (I've got some barriers set up around the eggplant now)
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Aug 16, 2015 20:19
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Gathers, next time you lay down in front of me in the bathroom hallway and trip me when i really need to pee, you have two options: Get stepped on Get peed on Your move dumb cat.
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Aug 20, 2015 01:46
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Duke you are a Buzzkill. when I'm high listening to music I don't want you jumping in my face and trying to lick it. especially after I've seen you pick up and eat a 3 week old piece of roadkill. gently caress off duke if you weren't such a cute redbone coonhound you'd all ready be at the pound
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Aug 28, 2015 21:13
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Digital-Smoke posted:Duke you are a Buzzkill. when I'm high listening to music I don't want you jumping in my face and trying to lick it. especially after I've seen you pick up and eat a 3 week old piece of roadkill. gently caress off duke if you weren't such a cute redbone coonhound you'd all ready be at the pound Pics
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Aug 29, 2015 03:53
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Hey. Dog who doesn't have a name yet! Tell your previous owner that if I catch his tiny penis bro truck driving rear end throwing another dog out of the window of a moving vehicle, I might actually do something drastic.
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Aug 30, 2015 12:24
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Name him Ben. He looks like a Ben. Tux, stop trying to push the blanket out from behind my monitor. It's for you to lay on, you little assbag.
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Aug 30, 2015 12:44
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I work with dogs now, and some dog breeds need helldumping. Mastiff: HELLO, I AM LAP DOG Shetland Sheepdog: Let me sing you the song of my people: BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK Akita/Sibe/Any spitz, really: KING poo poo OF gently caress MOUNTAIN Beagle: I will eat all of the poo poo. I hover around the other dogs like a goddamned turd vulture :D Yellow lab: rear end in a top hat Black lab: Chill as hell Weimaraner: Crackheads of the dog world German Shepherd: THE FUN POLICE YOU CANNOT HAVE FUN NO NO NO >:( French Bulldog/Boston Terrier snortsnortsnortfartsnortfartfartsnort
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Aug 31, 2015 06:49
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SneakyFrog posted:Hey. Dog who doesn't have a name yet! Tell your previous owner that if I catch his tiny penis bro truck driving rear end throwing another dog out of the window of a moving vehicle, I might actually do something drastic. Yeah that's totally a Ben. Guys. For five minutes. For five loving minutes. Stop fighting for the love of Christ. 
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Aug 31, 2015 13:57
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Its a girl dog.. There is already a Ben, and my suggestion of "Cat" is not flying well with the girlfriend. Still trying to figure out the breed. Know there is definitely pit in there but she is huge. She weighs about 26 pounds and is about 30 inches long. Still has milk teeth and puppy breath  I'm going to go broke feeding this monster. TehRedWheelbarrow fucked around with this message at 14:24 on Aug 31, 2015 |
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Aug 31, 2015 14:05
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SneakyFrog posted:Hey. Dog who doesn't have a name yet! Tell your previous owner that if I catch his tiny penis bro truck driving rear end throwing another dog out of the window of a moving vehicle, I might actually do something drastic. Quick translation search for the noun "stripe" in Hindi yielded "Dhaari" or "Dhari."
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Aug 31, 2015 15:51
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Arriviste posted:Quick translation search for the noun "stripe" in Hindi yielded "Dhaari" or "Dhari." Daria!
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Aug 31, 2015 16:12
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Drum posted:I work with dogs now, and some dog breeds need helldumping. Oh yeah, the little gsd girl in paxs puppy class would actively try to break up any puppy play or rough housing
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Aug 31, 2015 20:59
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Drum posted:Mastiff: HELLO, I AM LAP DOG If you have no lap, I must lean on you!
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Aug 31, 2015 21:58
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kitten posted:If you have no lap, I must lean on you!
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Sep 1, 2015 01:39
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FactsAreUseless posted:Is this like a big dog thing, because I knew a great dane who does this. Yeah I knew a guy who had a pair of great danes that would just come up and lean against you for petting. If you were by a wall then, whelp, you were trapped until sufficient petting was given.
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Sep 1, 2015 04:21
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(Posting on behalf of a friend) Hello Stubs. You are a very cute and affectionate doberman, and we let you get away with a lot. We even don't mind you sitting on people because it's kind of funny. That said, we have to draw a line somewhere and this is it: Please stop trying to follow people in to the bathroom. They do not need your supervision or require your help to use the toilet. Frankly it's creepy as gently caress to try and go with a dog staring at you from three feet away. Waiting outside the locked door and whining and scratching to be let in is right out as well. And for the love of all things holy STOP DOING IT TO HOUSEGUESTS.
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Sep 1, 2015 07:54
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Oh yes, the Big Dog Lean. Try to move away and they lean harder. Or they go between your legs so your only options are shuffling backward or attempting to step over them, but they're just going to keep moving with you in the endless dance. You are trapped, and now you have drool going down your legs.
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Sep 1, 2015 17:45
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Drum posted:Oh yes, the Big Dog Lean. Try to move away and they lean harder. Or they go between your legs so your only options are shuffling backward or attempting to step over them, but they're just going to keep moving with you in the endless dance. You are trapped, and now you have drool going down your legs. You are literally a big dog plaything. I get to dogsit a St Bernard this weekend.
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Sep 1, 2015 17:56
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You mean you get to be dogsat by a St. Bernard this weekend.
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Sep 1, 2015 20:15
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More like sat upon. It weighs over 30 pounds more than I.. big dogs are the best 
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Sep 1, 2015 21:32
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Hi Sterling. I missed you when I went away too. I put my bag on the floor to give you hugs because you were so EXCITED TO SEE ME. What a lovely homecoming, I thought to myself. Then I went out of the room for 5min and came back to you eating an extremely expensive leather glove you helped yourself to out of my bag. No leather specialist in the city does glove repairs. Thanks, fucker.
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Sep 2, 2015 08:33
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Yo Patrick you can hang out in my room once you stop pissing everywhere. Until then you can just shut up all the complaining, i don't care how you feel nothing in my room needs a new pee-coating. You are only pissing everywhere because Roommate hosed up your food but I still don't want to hear it. And stop clawing my butt when I sit down you stinky gently caress!
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Sep 3, 2015 12:39
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Please stop herding children
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Sep 6, 2015 00:23
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You look like a dumbass, which is fitting because you are a dumbass. Remember when you got a bath and how much you hated it? Why are you back in the sink of your own free will?   HOLY poo poo BUBBLES
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Sep 6, 2015 08:57
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Isaac, your in the cage because you forgot how to cat and broke your leg jumping off a desk, not because I'm punishing you, so SHUT THE gently caress UP WITH THE PITIFUL MEOWS! You know what, screw it, I'm going to play mad max with headphones on and ignore your poo poo today.
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Sep 6, 2015 23:29
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dear dogs, two cats in one week is an excessively high body count, don't you think?
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Sep 8, 2015 22:16
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Azrael, You too were on death row when I adopted you. We only met because I had an hour to kill before I could get my hair cut. The "adoption tech" at Petsmart told me about how you had been adopted twice and were going to be put down in a few days as a lost cause. They said you were shy and had issues around other animals.. That you were antisocial.. I wasn't looking for a cat..  You are sweet and VERY needy.. But I do not need to wake up to this EVERY morning 20 minutes before my alarm goes off..  And though I have fun chasing you around the house, deciding to attack me at 0300 while I am staggering to the bathroom to pee was a bad idea.. I like to think we both learned something about ourselves that morning..
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Sep 8, 2015 22:19
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Variety is the spice of life. Stupid dogs are the spice of rabies shots.
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Sep 9, 2015 04:16
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LOLA, I let you scream your own name into my ear, the least you can do is let me pet you, you loving jellybean
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Sep 10, 2015 06:27
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Tasty_Crayon posted:LOLA, I let you scream your own name into my ear, the least you can do is let me pet you, you loving jellybean That bird is the very essence of smugderp.
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Sep 12, 2015 19:49
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Dear porchcat, I'm glad you decided to pick our front porch as your home away from home, but could you please stop meowing at the front door every morning? You aren't coming in.
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Sep 13, 2015 23:34
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Hitlers Gay Secret posted:Dear porchcat, let him in
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Sep 14, 2015 00:31
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Hitlers Gay Secret posted:Dear porchcat, Did you just helldump yourself? Let him in. He's probably some old cat that was abandoned and he just wants to come in and pretend for one day that he has a family that loves him like he remembers before he spends another cold night on the street and freezes to death.
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Sep 14, 2015 00:48
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Isaac, can you PLEASE stop stepping in your own poop in the cage? We dont like you being in there, you dont like being in there, but its two more weeks and im sure you dont like the foot scrubbings as much as i dont like the foot scrubbings!
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Sep 14, 2015 08:07
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EXTREME INSERTION posted:let him in My house apparently has a sign "throw animals here" but for serials let him in.
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Sep 14, 2015 12:09
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Hitlers Gay Secret posted:Dear porchcat, You should let him in.
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Sep 14, 2015 23:27
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