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Jessie I understand you are less than a year old and prone to post-poo zoomies but please stop zipping back across the yard and stepping in your own turd before I have a chance to pick it up 
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Feb 27, 2015 03:39
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Holy_Zarquon posted:Seamus, you shat IN the router, you glorious retard. What? 
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Feb 28, 2015 05:12
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Precious, you belch like a goddamn trucker. How can your tiny body contain such a violent noise? There's never any warning, either- you'll roll over in bed and then let out a monstrous "BHRUUUUP" and  at me like I am somehow responsible for you vibrating the window.Jess, you fart like a Clydesdale both in volume and in potency, and you revel in it. You eat the same food Precious does, what the gently caress.
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May 1, 2015 10:15
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Precious, stop trying to pick fights with Jessica; she is literally three times your size. If she got tired of your poo poo there is literally nothing we could do to save you before she's eaten your face. Quit it.
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Jun 2, 2015 09:01
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Name him Ben. He looks like a Ben. Tux, stop trying to push the blanket out from behind my monitor. It's for you to lay on, you little assbag.
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Aug 30, 2015 12:44
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I'm gonna be the contrarian one and say don't let the cat in, just to add a little variety to the page. you should totally let the cat in. Speaking of cats: Tux why are you afraid of the brush. You sulk and hide under the coffee table when I get within ten feet of you with it. Malachite_Dragon fucked around with this message at 11:42 on Sep 16, 2015 |
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Sep 16, 2015 11:40
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Rayne you are the worst ninja-cat. After being foiled again and again trying to slip through the gap between my monitor and my computer tower (because I keep pushing you back), your genius idea is to climb on top of the tower... then try to slip back down into the gap. Where you are again pushed back.
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Sep 29, 2015 01:16
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Puppy Galaxy posted:
She looks almost exactly like my Porthos  who we also nickname Bear.Speaking of: Porthos, I appreciate your wanting to cuddle as the weather gets cold, but please stop tearing up the inside of my shin with your kneading.
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Oct 15, 2015 05:40
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Bear,
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It always was. It was inside us all along
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Oct 15, 2015 12:21
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cyberia posted:When Neon was a puppy and teething really badly I would use that bitter spray on the furniture or whatever he was trying to destroy and he'd watch me spray it then walk up and lick the furniture I'd just sprayed while maintaining eye contact the whole time We tried the hot sauce thing to get Jessica to stop chewing the corners of the coffee table. It only encouraged her. You're welcome for the seasoning, puppy!  
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Nov 14, 2015 11:48
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Also because we're already over the legal limit for cattes as we are and can't take in any more 
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Nov 20, 2015 21:46
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Oh my, that tail bristle She's a pretty thing
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Dec 4, 2015 19:11
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"I am not receiving vast amounts of attention right this very second, therefore everything is terrible." There, that's all you need to know about the mindset of cats.
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Feb 21, 2016 15:41
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Rayne I swear to god if you piss in the dogs' crate one more time We changed all the litter boxes today and we do so regularly. There's no reason for this. You're not sick, the vet said you're the picture of health though you could stand to lose a little weight, so stop being a dick to the dog.
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Apr 25, 2016 11:51
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Athos, the collar with the Giant Lace Rose of Shame will remain on you until you stop being a dick to the other cats.
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Jun 19, 2016 04:17
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Tux, I tolerate you laying on top of my computer tower for the warmth only because you don't impact the airflow any up there. If you hork a hairball through the mesh and it drips onto my video card I swear to god your old-man cuteness will not save you.
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Jul 3, 2016 12:39
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Athos I swear to god, if you run across my stomach just as I'm getting to sleep one more loving time I'm shoving you into the laundry basket. I work nights. gently caress off.
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Jul 10, 2016 14:33
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wait a few hours and see which one starts farting clouds?
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Sep 14, 2016 03:39
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One of my childhood cats set herself alight like that. We had candles going because it had been storming out earlier, and were feeling too lazy to put them out just yet. She was stretched out asleep on the coffee table near them, and rolled over- near enough for her belly fluff to flop over into one of the smaller ones. No one noticed 'til the smell of burned hair started, then everyone lunged for her at once. For her part she hardly seemed to notice a shorter patch in her stomach fur for a while, she just enjoyed all the attention. VVV Athos has done that. She jumped up onto the stove roughly thirty seconds after I took a pot off of the (electric) burner, hopped right the gently caress back off. She didn't seem hurt by it, but she hasn't jumped back directly onto the stove since. Malachite_Dragon fucked around with this message at 04:04 on Nov 22, 2016 |
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Nov 22, 2016 03:51
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With lots of whining and howling and general complaining, because husky.
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Feb 12, 2017 01:30
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He looks to be part pibble; pibblefarts are just part of the package, alas
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Aug 20, 2017 13:35
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My 5 cats don't destroy poo poo. They just puke all over the place 
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Mar 3, 2018 01:09
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On that note: Porthos, you know we don't want you jumping up onto the top of the entertainment center. The glue trap up there was for catching roaches, not cat tails. I did appreciate your trust in immediately running over to me when your flailing failed to free yourself, and you were very well behaved when I had to snip your tail fur to get the drat thing off. No clawing, no biting, and perfectly understandable that you were bitching up a storm the whole time. Your tail fluff is now incredibly uneven, and you have no one but yourself to blame.
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Mar 21, 2018 14:07
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Porthos, I already have a hole in my thumbnail because you chomped on my thumb as hard as you goddamn could on it a month ago and the nail is still growing it out. Stop trying to bite me again.
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Oct 4, 2018 22:34
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Yeah that's basically how it happened to my family as a kid 
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Dec 16, 2018 00:07
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Porthos, you have never ever done the whole "desperate paws under the door" thing before in your life, that the gently caress. I'm poopin', go away.
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Dec 17, 2018 16:26
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Aaaaaa he looks so soft 
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Jan 24, 2019 02:22
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Which one is the one in your av?
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Apr 16, 2019 13:47
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Before I forget yet again, it seems I've never posted a picture of Porthos, for all my complaining about her. Behold, the little turd. She is every bit as soft as she looks.
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Apr 16, 2019 14:09
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NO gently caress YOU I DO WHAT I WA- *thud*
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Aug 27, 2019 01:32
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Cassandra, I understand you're in heat again and that's on us for still having not gotten you fixed. This doesn't give you a reason to piss in one of my slippers and take a hefty poo poo in the other.
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Jan 7, 2020 05:46
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iospace posted:Post the offender.   Old pictures from years ago, we no longer have that table or that couch. I'll take newer ones later.
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Jan 7, 2020 06:14
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Athos. Porthos. Rayne. If y'all could go a full 24 godbedamned hours without any of the three of you horking up a hairball or anything else, that would be just fuckin' dandy.
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Jun 28, 2021 13:25
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