helldump your pets [petshaming ITT]

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Pet Island > helldump your pets [petshaming ITT]

Distorted Kiwi: Jun 11, 2014; "C'mon! Let's tune our weapons!"

Let's try this one more time, Sukie.

Your cat door is on the LEFT side of the living room. The sliding door that I have to open for you, is on the RIGHT side! STOP SITTING IN FRONT OF THE SLIDING DOOR, LOOKING PATHETIC!

Additionally, stop sleeping on my foot. One pulled muscle from rolling over, only to find my foot is trapped beneath your rear end is enough! And stop headbutting doors when you're hungry.

Finally, no, you are not an accordion, although you do a very good impression when you're asleep.

# ¿ Mar 25, 2015 01:53

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# ¿ May 1, 2024 20:25

Distorted Kiwi: Jun 11, 2014; "C'mon! Let's tune our weapons!"

pooter03 posted:

Waffles, if you are going to threaten me, at least pretend that you give a gently caress.

Is this an audition tape from the Wolverine Blu-Ray?

# ¿ Aug 1, 2016 03:57

Distorted Kiwi: Jun 11, 2014; "C'mon! Let's tune our weapons!"

Sukie, there's three other chairs, and lots of warm, cozy beds in this house.

But sure, sleep on my hoodie. I love shedding fur everywhere I go.

# ¿ Aug 4, 2016 10:28

Distorted Kiwi: Jun 11, 2014; "C'mon! Let's tune our weapons!"

Distorted Kiwi posted:

Sukie, there's three other chairs, and lots of warm, cozy beds in this house.

But sure, sleep on my hoodie. I love shedding fur everywhere I go.

Additional complaint Sukie. Next time you decide to take a nap, don't do it in the garden shed! Because I only go in there once every few days or so, and I don't intend starving my cat to death.

Hope you enjoyed five hours in the dark last night, you fluffy moron.

# ¿ Aug 10, 2016 23:17

Distorted Kiwi: Jun 11, 2014; "C'mon! Let's tune our weapons!"

SneakyFrog posted:

its 4am kitten. My ear is not a chew toy.

That's what YOU think.

# ¿ Sep 2, 2016 10:23

Distorted Kiwi: Jun 11, 2014; "C'mon! Let's tune our weapons!"

Sukie, get out of the bathroom. Sure, good morning to you too, but shoving open the bathroom door the moment I step out of the shower to rub against my legs is just getting weird.

Oh, and trying to start a fight with the neighbours cat from the other side of a plate glass window just makes you look like an idiot.

# ¿ Oct 11, 2016 22:08

Distorted Kiwi: Jun 11, 2014; "C'mon! Let's tune our weapons!"

Freakbox posted:

At night though? When it's horribly dangerous for your owner because she's a woman in Tulsa, which is like one big rapey carjacking?

I can't get you to stop trying to walk.

Your dog is set to the wrong mode. Try sliding the switch from "CAT" to "DOG". Consult your user manual for switch placement.

# ¿ Oct 1, 2017 23:07

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# ¿ May 1, 2024 20:25

Distorted Kiwi: Jun 11, 2014; "C'mon! Let's tune our weapons!"

Hey Sukie, I know you love me, as evidenced by the 4am head butting and loud purring.

The giant-rear end dead rat you left in the hallway for me to step on at 5am seems... excessive.

It didn�t even have a mark on it, I notice. You actually dragged the corpse of a rat that died of natural causes into our house as a present, huh?

I�m glad I didn�t end up wearing it as a nightcap.

# ¿ Oct 16, 2018 00:57

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Pet Island > helldump your pets [petshaming ITT]