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Ok seriously, you little bastard, STOP eating the cat food. You have your own food! Go eat out of your own motherfucking bowl, it's not even that different! Jesus christ, this is the third time in the last week I've seen you try to shoulder the cat out of the way while he's eating and take his food away. Keep this up and I'm going to start throwing you out of the house when I feed the cat.
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Aug 16, 2015 18:07
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| # ¿ May 2, 2024 14:31 |
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I know you're 15, and you're actually a very adorable, well behaved cat... but dear god you stink sometimes. We've changed your food around, tried all kinds of stuff, but you still fart and I have to open every window in the house while lighting every candle we own. I once worked in a slaughterhouse and even that smell wasn't this bad. Your rear end is a toxic waste dump and we only tolerate it because you're like, retirement age for a cat. He knows it too, look at this smug gently caress: 
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Oct 31, 2016 21:31
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Why do you attack all our bath towels, what the hell, cat The worst part is how adorable he looks doing it.
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Dec 29, 2016 05:44
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Zaftig posted:Look at his face markings! Of course he'd attack the towels. He is literally a dick-head.  drat I somehow hadn't noticed that. if you get him from the right angle the black fur on his face looks like a cock'n'balls... this explains EVERYTHING.
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Dec 29, 2016 21:08
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Look, god drat it. I know you're old and sometimes you fumblefuck the whole litterbox process, but if you step in your own poo poo it is NOT OKAY to come jump on my bed to tell me about it. I had to do two loads of laundry, you loving jerk.
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Jan 14, 2017 08:18
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| # ¿ May 2, 2024 14:31 |
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This self-appointed princess of the house refuses to cover her poop and so it stinks up the joint until her big brother covers it or I scoop it look at her, she gives no fucks
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Nov 26, 2023 04:19
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