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The worst part about probate proceedings is when the opposing lawyers start recommending things to other family members that start to seem really personal. The minute they hire a lawyer, that lawyer has one job and one client to maximize returns for. I lost sleep for 2 entire years before I realized "None of these people give a poo poo. Why do I?" Lo and behold, things appear to be wrapping up now. Just be prepared, when you are the responsible one, and especially the executor, the angry sibling A lawyering up will be the beginning of a character assassination the likes of which you've never imagined. It might only be the angry sibling listening to legal advice, try not to take it personal like I did. It sucks. You are so lucky they are working with you before hand on all this. There shouldn't be much mystery surrounding events and transactions if the will is complete and thorough. root of all eval fucked around with this message at 18:35 on Jan 21, 2015 |
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Jan 21, 2015 18:12
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| # ¿ May 22, 2024 06:07 |
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I had the distinct pleasure of being dragged through the mud by my Dad's Ex-wife since I have a half brother that's still a minor. That's another level of hell. The shittiest part is I never once disputed any claims they made, it was all just song and dance to push billable hours in my opinion. Broke people with the possibility of a settlement can still lawyer up at the lawyers discretion, if the lawyer thinks an agreed to amount/percentage of the settlement would cover their fees. That's how those TV accident lawyer claim "We don't get paid unless you win." I have a sibling that has a lot of financial emotional and mental issues, and I am going to be going through the exact same scenario as you again in a couple of years. My Mom has custody of his kids and he still has to beg for money for the power bill. It's just so sad all around. I'm taking notes for next time. Thanks for posting and being open about things. This is a dark side of life and finance I wish I had a chance to read into before it got thrust upon me at 25 without warning. It may help someone else.
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Jan 21, 2015 18:44
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My transition to executor wasn't very clear cut and I was advised not to excercise bank account control until the court order for the estate was granted. Especially since the Ex-wife called the will into question. This lead to a 2 month dead-zone of having to self fund funeral/legal expenses until the smoke cleared. I got to reimburse, but definitely find out how to avoid that.
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Jan 21, 2015 20:06
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I'm curious on other's thoughts about administration fees. Specifically compensation of time. You always want to do the right thing, and knowing you are the trusted adviser is a great honor. However, had I known I'd spend 2 years of personal time on paperwork, filings, travel, distributions, etc; I would have taken better log of my time itself and billed some reasonable $15-$25/h rate against administrative costs. It's too late now, but in the grief I wasn't thinking about how taxing and long the process would end up being. It is hard work, so you may discuss with your parents if they would be comfortable agreeing to any such compensation and at what rate to make sure it's written in.
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Jan 21, 2015 20:42
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Engineer Lenk posted:It may just be less of a headache drama-wise to have them name someone not related as executor and eat the fees that would incur. Make the will look as impartially fair as possible (i.e. if there are restrictions, put them equally on both of you), and don't try for any split other than perfectly equal. It's not ideal; he doesn't deserve being treated this well. It will, however, cut any arguments of unfairness or impartiality off at the knees, and you don't have to be the bad guy keeping him from his inheritance. I asked my Mom to do this, actually. She's still mid 50s so we don't have to look too deep, but I need some time off of probate court.
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Jan 21, 2015 21:31
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| # ¿ May 22, 2024 06:07 |
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The idea that family photos and journals would be of any interest to anyone is intriguing to me. I had no idea there were non-hobbyist repositories for that kind of stuff and I thought the hobbyists kept it to facts, trees and local lore.
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Jan 31, 2015 01:51
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