Cricket 2012: Cricket has always been a game stuck in the past

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Cricket This poll is closed.
Blackface in crowd	129	55.36%
References to Lord of the Rings	104	44.64%
Total:	233 votes

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webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

Burn Down Canberra posted:

I think a bit of it was giving Clarke and Faulkner a bit of a stretch.

Starc is bowling a ball attacking the stumps every ball now so he at least wants to go home.

Who wouldn't want to get out of Perth asap, honestly

# ¿ Mar 4, 2015 14:54

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# ¿ May 22, 2024 05:22

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

Drugs posted:

I didn't watch the game but looked at the score and can only assume that it was a game of graceless Australian showboating

I didn't see the end of the Afghan innings (who has a loving day/night game in Perth, honestly), but the Aussies were surprisingly subdued. Maxwell reverse-sweeping a seamer for six over third man was probably the most egregious thing I can think of. I can't think offhand of any overt wicket celebrations or hostile sledging either,which is unusual.

I'd actually say the worst part about the game was Warne and the other Nine idiots in the commentary box

# ¿ Mar 4, 2015 23:59

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

Drugs posted:

The lack of sledging is, I presume, because David Warner cannot theoretically speak Farsi

Should've played Watto, he's fully fluent in Farcey

# ¿ Mar 5, 2015 00:44

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

RideTheSpiral posted:

Butch dropping some truth bombs in the sky studio. Butch is pro tier punditry.

# ¿ Mar 5, 2015 03:41

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

Butt Wizard posted:

no the answer is to clearly cut a bunch of teams out of the tournament that have been playing reasonable matches against each other instead and completely annihilate the level of international exposure those teams get

then England can have a few more days off to come up with a fresh strategy for how to be poo poo.

And then somehow make the tournament last even longer with fewer teams :psyduck:

# ¿ Mar 6, 2015 00:31

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

auzdark posted:

Can we have a blank post in future thread with all awesome gifs and pics in it? Ie Warner killing a child, Heals stacking a Segway and Pakistan pants down gif?

I'll take responsibility for this in the next cricket thread (2018)

# ¿ Mar 7, 2015 11:46

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

RideTheSpiral posted:

Zimbers are hustling hard. Hope they do it.

Yeah it's bloody close! I think they'll fall short though

# ¿ Mar 7, 2015 12:12

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

holy poo poo this game owns

# ¿ Mar 7, 2015 12:27

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

welp

# ¿ Mar 7, 2015 12:29

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

Cracking catch that

# ¿ Mar 8, 2015 06:39

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

lol @ Brendan Julian

"Maxwell will definitely take this over to get his eye in and assess the situation"

*literally three seconds later the ball's flying over mid-off for four*

# ¿ Mar 8, 2015 06:43

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

Maxwell is at least always funny, whether he scores runs or not

# ¿ Mar 8, 2015 06:49

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

We could be on for 350 here, seems crazy after the early/middle overs

# ¿ Mar 8, 2015 07:11

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

cpaf posted:

Is... Is this the Wattozone??

The Wattozone is waiting for an unsuccessful LBW review

# ¿ Mar 8, 2015 07:13

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

That celebration lmao

# ¿ Mar 8, 2015 07:44

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

Maxwell looks like a tall skinny Justin Langer, how have I never noticed this before

# ¿ Mar 8, 2015 07:47

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

The Finisherd

# ¿ Mar 8, 2015 07:52

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

Gunna need a gif of that watto reaction face

# ¿ Mar 8, 2015 07:55

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

RideTheSpiral posted:

Compare and contrast:

English PL commentators know in depth every player in every squad in every division in Europe.

Australian cricket commentators can't be arsed learned 8 squads and know less than the average chump on the somethingawful dot com forums.

To be fair, they can't be arsed learning about two squads really, they don't seem to know much about anyone who's not Australia

# ¿ Mar 8, 2015 08:08

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

lmao what a suicidal run

# ¿ Mar 8, 2015 08:11

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

Scylo posted:

i still don't really understand why an Australian selector is a commentator

It's a step up from the captain at least

# ¿ Mar 8, 2015 08:12

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

The most infuriating thing about mark Waugh commentating isn't that he's a selector, it's that he says literally nothing interesting or insightful. It's just 100% pointless banter

If he wasn't a cricketer I'm pretty sure he'd be a labourer spending all his cash betting on the greyhounds

# ¿ Mar 8, 2015 08:17

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

Airstream Driver posted:

I've often thought they could save money by just having the batting team commentate. Even if their English isn't that great.

Especially if their English isn't great

# ¿ Mar 8, 2015 08:19

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

Great chase from SL even though they didn't win. They made a pretty good game of it!

Someone needs to start a change.org petition to get Mark Waugh off air, he's such a loving hopeless commentator. I wonder what Steve's up to these days, he'd make a cracking commentator imo

# ¿ Mar 8, 2015 12:33

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

Drugs posted:

Steve Waugh, international cricket's greatest cheat, would not be a good or objective commentator

Are you kidding, he'd be amazing. "That's poo poo, he's poo poo, that's a shithouse over. Get this bloke off, he's useless"

And the sledges would be top-notch

# ¿ Mar 8, 2015 13:10

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

Lionel Richie posted:

The Australian commentary team is like a cult, they join and all of a sudden their eyes glaze over and they start talking about Big Units and That Time Mark Waugh Hit A Six On The Roof In Perth.

Agreed

# ¿ Mar 8, 2015 13:22

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

I am looking forward to this spirited clash between plucky cricketing minnows

# ¿ Mar 9, 2015 04:17

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

runoverbobby posted:

They definitely haven't just taken one.

welp

# ¿ Mar 9, 2015 06:05

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

Bangers will score 300+ imo

# ¿ Mar 9, 2015 06:42

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

Airstream Driver posted:

Yep, rookie mistake forgetting the Big Bat Stat.

You've also gotta factor in the Small Grounds These Days I Tell Ya What Mate

# ¿ Mar 9, 2015 07:14

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

cpaf posted:

Can anyone here inform me on what might be the most English way to go about a ritual mass suicide? Probably looking at a group of maybe ten or eleven people, all male, so a pretty modest affair as far as the "mass" part of it goes, lol. Thanks.

Another English capitulation. Sad stuff this

# ¿ Mar 9, 2015 07:36

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

275 is a par score for England in this tournament so it's set up for a nail biting finish

# ¿ Mar 9, 2015 08:33

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

Just got out of the cinema and holy loley, England are officially the World's Funniest Team

# ¿ Mar 9, 2015 13:00

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

dsriggs posted:

This needs to be quoted on every page

# ¿ Mar 9, 2015 13:01

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

Drugs posted:

The Queen is Dead

Died of shame I assume

# ¿ Mar 9, 2015 13:13

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

Hey guys, I've got a joke for you!

English cricket!!

# ¿ Mar 9, 2015 23:23

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

Scylo posted:

Ed Cowan retired, guess his coffee business is doing well or something

http://www.cricket.com.au/news/ed-cowan-announces-first-class-cricket-retirement-tasmania-australia/2015-03-10

This was posted on cricket..com.au's facebook page as "AUSTRALIAN CRICKETER'S SHOCK ANNOUNCEMENT!" :rolleyes:

# ¿ Mar 10, 2015 03:44

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

auzdark posted:

Saw it via the Cricket AU site too - my first response was 'Holy poo poo Watson finally calling it!' but no.

One day...

Haha, that was my exact response as well!

# ¿ Mar 10, 2015 04:07

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

Anyone got access to England's Advanced Stats Computer Database? Wondering if this score is par for this pitch or not

# ¿ Mar 10, 2015 05:00

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# ¿ May 22, 2024 05:22

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

Looking forward to MS Dhoni padding out his average this afternoon, waiting until the last two overs to hit some sixes and get called a hero

# ¿ Mar 10, 2015 05:47

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