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Junpei Hyde
Mar 15, 2013




Glad to see this isn't dead.

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NowonSA
Jul 19, 2013

I am the sexiest poster in the world!
Goddamn that was lucha underground as hell, particularly during Ziggler's thing and Styles losing it over the apocalypse titantron. I love seeing this whenever it comes up, and I hope you keep at it Chunnel, even if you just update sporadically. If you want to make Slamadu an insane event that ends with the arena exploding then I can accept that too, of course.

There is only SLAMADU.

CascadeBeta
Feb 14, 2009

by Cyrano4747
I had forgotten all about this for a while. I'm glad to see it's still going. Looking forward to WrestleMania, and if you need someone to do write ups still, I would love to lend my hand. I have PMs unless you absolutely want email contact.

Basic Chunnel
Sep 21, 2010

Jesus! Jesus Christ! Say his name! Jesus! Jesus! Come down now!

I'll reach out soon!

quote:


We’ve sweated through nights of night terrors and thick fog only we can see to bring you Prograps Unlimited for Saturday, Week 4 of March! Let’s run down the intense happenings of the past few days.

-------

- In WWE news, Bad News Barrett (shoot name Stu Bennett) has been reported missing from the New Jersey hotel he was staying in during the lead up to Wrestlemania. Local police have stated that Barrett reported sightings of a tall man in a top hat and facepaint outside his room in his last phone conversation to friends before he vanished.

- Reports of pandemonium in the streets of Memphis as random pedestrians began beating and piledriving one another in and around Beale Street, where a recently unveiled statue of Jerry Lawler was seen crying blood.

-------

Now for the indies!

- TNA saw its highest attendance of the last several months this Friday, as a robust crowd of 18 fans were drawn to an elementary school gymnasium in southern Georgia. When reached for comment, TNA president Dixie Carter downplayed recent reports of corpses rising from their graves and wandering aimlessly through the area and insisted that the severe bite mark lacerations sustained by Eddie Edwards after the show were the result of a Low Ki rib gone too far.

- Last week saw the precipitous rise of GFW, who drew a sellout crowd to Madison Square Garden. The highlight of the night was an impassioned promo from GFW owner Jeff Jarrett that brought the auditorium to tears. In it, he claimed that he was building “a great ark” within which “the chosen people will weather the coming darkness”.

PGU has learned that all coming dates on the GFW tour have sold out and that advance tickets are trading on the grey market for firstborn children and “blood sacrifice”, among other things. When reached for comment, Dave Meltzer told us “I was ready to dismiss everything that’s been going on this week as a work, but with this news that Jeff Jarrett has become a draw, I am taking steps to rekindle my relationship with God.”

- Many readers wrote into us with firsthand witness accounts of John Zandig “rose into heaven” in the middle of a backyard wrestling show in New Jersey. He descended briefly mid-flight to throw his opponent through a stack of glass panes before ascending through the clouds.

- Reports early this morning of Dixie Carter using social media with intelligence and tact have since been debunked.

-------

Gather your family and pray to whatever higher power will have you, Wrestlemania is on its way and it cannot be stopped!!

Basic Chunnel fucked around with this message at 22:16 on Jun 16, 2016

The Narrator
Aug 11, 2011

bernie would have won
:munch: oh man, this is going to be good.

Basic Chunnel
Sep 21, 2010

Jesus! Jesus Christ! Say his name! Jesus! Jesus! Come down now!

Here are the matches that have yet to be claimed for WM30:

Kurt Angle vs. Triple H for control of the company
Big E vs. Rusev for the US Title
Sami Zayn vs. Mark Henry for the WWE Network Title
ATGMBR feat. THE BIG SHOW
JAZZ CLUB vs. Tyson Kidd & Hideo Itami for the WWE Tag Team Titles
Jackson Shaw vs. Randy Orton
Daniel Bryan vs. Brock Lesnar for the WWE WHC

Writer Cath was onboard to write:
Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins
Beth Phoenix vs. AJ Lee for the WWE Divas Title

But that was awhile ago and I dropped off, they may or may not want to continue with that.

I could've sworn I'd had a few of those written up already but I don't seem to. LMK if you want to write any of those up.

Writer Cath
Apr 1, 2007

Box. Flipped.
Plaster Town Cop
Yeah, I can still do those. PM me some details.

Junpei Hyde
Mar 15, 2013




Do you still have the Bray/Doplh match I sent you forever ago?

Basic Chunnel
Sep 21, 2010

Jesus! Jesus Christ! Say his name! Jesus! Jesus! Come down now!

I believe I do!

NowonSA
Jul 19, 2013

I am the sexiest poster in the world!

Basic Chunnel posted:

I could've sworn I'd had a few of those written up already but I don't seem to. LMK if you want to write any of those up.

Owens vs. Christian is still on the card right? Just checking. I figure if there's any you'd have done already it's that since we discussed it so much via email.

Basic Chunnel
Sep 21, 2010

Jesus! Jesus Christ! Say his name! Jesus! Jesus! Come down now!

Still on the card, and I've got it. I just thought I had more self-written stuff than I did. WM is a big event

NowonSA
Jul 19, 2013

I am the sexiest poster in the world!

Basic Chunnel posted:

Still on the card, and I've got it. I just thought I had more self-written stuff than I did. WM is a big event

Ok good, I went into panic mode for a minute there!

I helped out on that a bit folks, if you're a fan of the thread I encourage you to get in touch with Chunnel with ideas for how matches and storylines play out. Even if you can't commit to writing up a whole match, I have to imagine every little bit helps.

I Before E
Jul 2, 2012

I'll do Angle/HHH, you should still have my email.

Senerio
Oct 19, 2009

Roëmænce is ælive!
Sent my match in. I hope it's good.

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN
So what's the full card again?

GreatestLurker
Sep 12, 2011

Benne posted:

So what's the full card again?

WM XXXI PRE-SHOW

- Realest Guys On Raw vs. Los Malos Locals

- RyVaughan vs. Ascension (Cage Match In More Ways Than One!)

- I Beth Phoenix vs. AJ Lee (Divas Title Match)

- Kurt Angle vs. Triple H (Control of the Company Match)

- - - -

WM XXXI

- Rusev (c) vs. Big E (Iron Man match for United States Title)

- Sami Zayn vs. Mark Henry (c) (WWE Network Championship Match)

- 25-man Battle Royal (Andre The Giant Memorial Trophy Match)

- JAZZ CLUB vs. The Brass Ring Club (c) (WWE Tag Team Championship Match)

- Cesaro vs. John Cena (BRC barred from ringside)

- Randy Orton vs. Jackson Shaw (Falls Count Anywhere)

- Seth Rollins vs.Dean Ambrose

- Dolph Ziggler vs. Bray Wyatt (c) (No DQ match for Intercontinental Championship)

- Daniel Bryan vs. Brock Lesnar (c) (WWE World Heavyweight Championship match, WM Main Event)

Sanguinia
Jan 1, 2012

~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Hunter vs Angle is on THE PRE-SHOW? No disrespect to Sami Zayn and Mark Henry, but drat.

Basic Chunnel
Sep 21, 2010

Jesus! Jesus Christ! Say his name! Jesus! Jesus! Come down now!

Thanks for the assist, GreatestLurker.

There were three reasons for the card shaking out as it did - one, even at max time settings, the show was seriously stretched and I had to do a lot of finagling with the two blocks of relevant match time (preshow and show) I had. Two, I was pretty sure TEW2013 set limits on match quality when you had two non-wrestlers going at it (I could have changed their pushes I suppose, but I didn't) and I didn't want to drag the show rating. Three, there's a seriously massive gulf between the number of viewers who see the show and the preshow, since the latter doesn't count as being televised. Sami Zayn and the Network Title both needed the rub, Angle / Trips obviously do not.

Junpei Hyde
Mar 15, 2013




You're trying to sell the preshow, available on the WWE Network for 9.99 MAGGLE

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005

Does Vince have a Mil Muertes style throne he can watch the action from? Because if not, Slamadu needs one

I Before E
Jul 2, 2012

GreatestLurker posted:

WM XXXI PRE-SHOW

- Realest Guys On Raw vs. Los Malos Locals

- RyVaughan vs. Ascension (Cage Match In More Ways Than One!)

- I Beth Phoenix vs. AJ Lee (Divas Title Match)

- Kurt Angle vs. Triple H (Control of the Company Match)

- - - -

WM XXXI

- Rusev (c) vs. Big E (Iron Man match for United States Title)

- Sami Zayn vs. Mark Henry (c) (WWE Network Championship Match)

- 25-man Battle Royal (Andre The Giant Memorial Trophy Match)

- JAZZ CLUB vs. The Brass Ring Club (c) (WWE Tag Team Championship Match)

- Cesaro vs. John Cena (BRC barred from ringside)

- Randy Orton vs. Jackson Shaw (Falls Count Anywhere)

- Seth Rollins vs.Dean Ambrose

- Dolph Ziggler vs. Bray Wyatt (c) (No DQ match for Intercontinental Championship)

- Daniel Bryan vs. Brock Lesnar (c) (WWE World Heavyweight Championship match, WM Main Event)

Wait what about Christian/Owens?

Also, BC, which ones are left? I know a good portion of the matches you originally posted as unclaimed got called, so I'd like to know what's left.

Basic Chunnel
Sep 21, 2010

Jesus! Jesus Christ! Say his name! Jesus! Jesus! Come down now!

I've got Christian-Owens on lock, here are the outstanding, unclaimed matches:

quote:

WM XXXI PRE-SHOW

- Realest Guys On Raw vs. Los Malos Locals

- RyVaughan vs. Ascension (Cage Match In More Ways Than One!)

- - - -

WM XXXI

- Sami Zayn vs. Mark Henry (c) (WWE Network Championship Match)

- Randy Orton vs. Jackson Shaw (Falls Count Anywhere)

- Daniel Bryan vs. Brock Lesnar (c) (WWE World Heavyweight Championship match, WM Main Event)

I Before E
Jul 2, 2012

Basic Chunnel posted:

I've got Christian-Owens on lock, here are the outstanding, unclaimed matches:

Send me the booking notes for the RyVaughan and Henry matches, I'll write them up.

Basic Chunnel
Sep 21, 2010

Jesus! Jesus Christ! Say his name! Jesus! Jesus! Come down now!

Alright cool?l, I'll send those off tomorrow morning

Basic Chunnel
Sep 21, 2010

Jesus! Jesus Christ! Say his name! Jesus! Jesus! Come down now!

Basic Chunnel posted:

Alright cool?l, I'll send those off tomorrow morning

Did I ever send those to you, IbE? I must have been blotto when I wrote this.

How's everyone on their writeups so far? Now that I'm watching more IRL wrestling again I'm moving forward with mine, and thinking about possible moves forward - either continuing on in TEW2013 or somehow rigging up a TEW2016 game.

I Before E
Jul 2, 2012

Basic Chunnel posted:

Did I ever send those to you, IbE? I must have been blotto when I wrote this.

How's everyone on their writeups so far? Now that I'm watching more IRL wrestling again I'm moving forward with mine, and thinking about possible moves forward - either continuing on in TEW2013 or somehow rigging up a TEW2016 game.

You did not.

Junpei Hyde
Mar 15, 2013




Basic Chunnel posted:

Did I ever send those to you, IbE? I must have been blotto when I wrote this.

How's everyone on their writeups so far? Now that I'm watching more IRL wrestling again I'm moving forward with mine, and thinking about possible moves forward - either continuing on in TEW2013 or somehow rigging up a TEW2016 game.

I sent mine like forever ago iirc.

Writer Cath
Apr 1, 2007

Box. Flipped.
Plaster Town Cop

I Before E posted:

You did not.

I know I didn't either, but would Sunday or Monday be all right? Work's been kind of insane for me.

Basic Chunnel
Sep 21, 2010

Jesus! Jesus Christ! Say his name! Jesus! Jesus! Come down now!

Junpei Hyde posted:

I sent mine like forever ago iirc.
Oh yeah they've been integrated into the document


Writer Cath posted:

I know I didn't either, but would Sunday or Monday be all right? Work's been kind of insane for me.
Of course! No pressure, it will likely take that long for me as well.

Basic Chunnel
Sep 21, 2010

Jesus! Jesus Christ! Say his name! Jesus! Jesus! Come down now!

Sanguinia posted:

I think after you get to Mania 32 and D-Brys big win you should auto-run it to Mania DALLAS STAR and we can see what our timeline changes wrought and keep up with the current product :D
BTW I did want to do this, I ported over the original mod DB to TEW2016 and with some help from the Grey Dog forums hopefully I should be able to make some necessary edits to get us roughly where we are and then kick it off to WM32. But just loading the default mod into 2016 and running it gives us some real dream WM32 matches

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005

Basic Chunnel posted:

BTW I did want to do this, I ported over the original mod DB to TEW2016 and with some help from the Grey Dog forums hopefully I should be able to make some necessary edits to get us roughly where we are and then kick it off to WM32. But just loading the default mod into 2016 and running it gives us some real dream WM32 matches



When does Dillinger turn on Sting?

Senerio
Oct 19, 2009

Roëmænce is ælive!

Jenkem Delivery posted:

When does Dillinger turn on Sting?

After their tenth match together.

GreatestLurker
Sep 12, 2011

Basic Chunnel posted:

BTW I did want to do this, I ported over the original mod DB to TEW2016 and with some help from the Grey Dog forums hopefully I should be able to make some necessary edits to get us roughly where we are and then kick it off to WM32. But just loading the default mod into 2016 and running it gives us some real dream WM32 matches



I beg to differ - converting the mod to TEW 2016 sounds exciting as hell, but why simulate to WM32? Basically makes the last two months of booking devoid of any meaning. Just continue as is...

Basic Chunnel
Sep 21, 2010

Jesus! Jesus Christ! Say his name! Jesus! Jesus! Come down now!

That's a fair point, it just involves a LOT more hand-tooling of the database. And porting over to TEW2016 means that the database file itself is locked and that most things (chemistry, etc) can't be altered after a game starts.

Another fun highlight of this alternate universe is that even though Curtis Axel and Bray Wyatt have kept their gimmicks, they're storming the tag division as McGillicutty and Harris

IcePhoenix
Sep 18, 2005

Take me to your Shida

Sanguinia posted:

I think after you get to Mania 32 and D-Brys big win you should auto-run it to Mania DALLAS STAR and we can see what our timeline changes wrought and keep up with the current product :D

I thought Mania 32 was Mania DALLAS STAR :confused:

GreatestLurker
Sep 12, 2011

Basic Chunnel posted:

That's a fair point, it just involves a LOT more hand-tooling of the database. And porting over to TEW2016 means that the database file itself is locked and that most things (chemistry, etc) can't be altered after a game starts.

Another fun highlight of this alternate universe is that even though Curtis Axel and Bray Wyatt have kept their gimmicks, they're storming the tag division as McGillicutty and Harris

Oh certainly! No need for us to expect you to jump through hoops for this.
Maybe just stick with 13?

I unno', it's your game man. I'm just happy that I can watch from the sidelines.

Basic Chunnel
Sep 21, 2010

Jesus! Jesus Christ! Say his name! Jesus! Jesus! Come down now!

Hey Writer Cath, how's it coming? Do you need more time? I aspire to have this whole shebang completed by Friday

Writer Cath
Apr 1, 2007

Box. Flipped.
Plaster Town Cop

Basic Chunnel posted:

Hey Writer Cath, how's it coming? Do you need more time? I aspire to have this whole shebang completed by Friday

You'll get it tomorrow.

And SENT!

Writer Cath fucked around with this message at 19:29 on Aug 1, 2016

Basic Chunnel
Sep 21, 2010

Jesus! Jesus Christ! Say his name! Jesus! Jesus! Come down now!

Oney.Lorcan69@wrestlehut.net posted:

There can be no more delay.






- - - - -


Fireworks explode heavy in the air, casting red and sickly yellow glow down upon the massive crowd as it roars from the floor of the great cavernous expanse they call SLAMADU, deep below New Jersey.

The fateful day has arrived, it can no longer be denied – WRESTLEMANIA XXXI is upon us! As the camera pans over the venue the hot crowd - those lucky few whom made it through the gates before they closed - breaks out in thunderous chant: “SAVE. US. GOD. SAVE. US. GOD.” But God is asleep in heaven and cannot hear us. Down here there is no God, there is only the inexorable march of time, and wrestling.

Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler and JBL are on hand and fired up in the ring announcer’s cage, and they outline the night’s ridiculous card: Beth Phoenix defends her Diva’s Championship against AJ Lee and Triple H takes on Kurt Angle for the WWE Commissionership on the WM31 Pre-Show, while the event itself holds riches upon riches – Rusev defends his United States championship against Big E, inaugural WWE Network Champion Mark Henry defends his title against a mystery opponent, and the Brass Ring Club puts their Tag Team Championship on the line against the prowess of JAZZ CLUB. The second Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal will take place and Christian fights one last match against the savage Kevin Owens.

And then? The night’s semi-main is broken into four parts. While Cesaro and John Cena enact a final battle and Jackson Shaw faces off against Randy Orton for the soul of the WWE, Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins lay the Shield to rest, and Dolph Ziggler will demonstrate how far he’s willing to go to regain his WWE Intercontinental Championship from the sinister Bray Wyatt.

When all that is completed, we shall witness the hotly anticipated main event – Daniel Bryan will attempt to go through the Beast, Brock Lesnar, to claim the WWE World Heavyweight Championship that he was never defeated for. It all happens tonight, in the depths of SLAMADU. WRESTLEMANIA XXXI: THE YEAR OF THE BEAST, only on the WWE Network! and participating pay-per-view providers, even if they even exist in the world outside this cursed place

- - - - -

A video plays on the immense Tron that wraps around the walls of the venue. A red mass beats in a vast blackness, each rhythmic patter showing a crimson portrait of the night’s gladiators, their visages leaving ghostly imprints running together until the blackness is now a red blur. Then, as if cut out from the image, the silhouette of the W symbol, Vince McMahon’s terrible creation, appears.

The crowd howls. It is time to begin.

- - - - -

Our first match of the night is a palette cleanser – the Italian reverie of the Realest Guys on Raw theme plays as the duo of Big Cass and Enzo Amore make their way down the ramp (hewn from ruddy, rough stone and shimmering with veins of some unknown metal) to the ring, where a duo of masked luchadors await them, Los Malos Locals!

Enzo heralds their arrival as they enter the ring. “My name is Enzo Amore and I am a certified G and a bonafide stud and you can’t teach that! And this right here, this is Big Cass, and he’s seven foot tall and you can’t teach that! Bada boom, til the world’s doom, realest guys in the room! How you doin?!” Out among the crowd, it’s hard to tell where the answers begin and the guttural moans of approval end. Enzo continues. “Now I been hearing a lot about what’s going on outside this dome, all the terror and upheaval and uncertainty, but I don’t care! Cuz far as I’m concerned you gotta be off your dome if you’re anywhere but here, in Slamadu, for Wrestlemania!” More moans from the crowd. “Now these guys-“ Enzo points at the luchas, “all I’m gonna say is, you’re lucky you already got masks, cuz when we’re done with you, ain’t nobody gonna wanna see your faces! Now let’s do this!” The ref motions for the bell as Enzo and El Malo Local #1 square off.

There’s no mistaking it – the evil luchas have the edge on Enzo in terms of skill, as they quickly lock the smaller man down with mat techniques and vicious kicks, isolating him in their corner. But what Amore lacks in skill he makes up for in spirit, and after a series of kicks to his hairy ribs from El Malo Local #2, he catches the lucha’s foot and charges forward, knocking the opponent down and leaving him helpless against a hail of Jersey fists. With the masked man dazed, Enzo stumbles to his corner and manages to get the tag to Big Cass before he can be pulled back. #2 recovers in time to tag #1 back in but the partner is a little too eager, running from the corner into a big boot from Cass that lays him out!

#2 leaps onto the ropes for a springboard splash but he’s snatched from the air by Cass, who raises him into a gorilla press and tosses him clean over the ropes to outside! By this point #1 has gotten up and swings with an axe handle smash to Cass’ back, but it barely dazes the big man. Unfazed, #1 lights up Cass’ chest with a resounding chop but no time is wasted on the receipt, which leaves the lucha staggered. Cass follows with another, and then another, until the man is teetering on his feet. Cass picks him up effortlessly, yells at the moaning crowd, and lands a picture perfect East River Crossing! And if that wasn’t enough, he runs the ropes Rock-style before getting big air on an Empire Elbow. El Malo Local #2 can’t get back in to stop the 3 as The Realest Guys on Raw win their first WM match! D+

- - - - - -

The second warm up match of the pre-show is muscle vs. mysticism as RyVaughan squares off against The Ascension. After their entrances of impressive flexing and hammy menace, respectively, we are subjected to tornado tag action inside a fearsome steel cage!

Both teams come out strong, Ryback battering Konnor for his team with hard jabs as Vaughan slammed Viktor with a few crushing elbow bashes. From there, RyVaughan kept the advantage, whipping The Ascension to the ropes and taking them to the mat with stereo lariats off the rebound. As their opponents hit the mat, RyVaughan knelt onto their opponents, driving knees into their opponent's backs as they flexed for the crowd. RyVaughan went for yet another team maneuver, but while Ryback was able to take Konnor down with a big shoulderblock, Viktor slammed Vaughan face first into the cage before rejoining his teammate.

The Ascension regained the advantage with a two-on-one attack on Ryback, pummeling him with big strikes and slams, before setting him up for the Fall Of Man! Ryback was able to dodge it, though, and sent both big men straight into each other before sending them crashing to the mat with a double German suplex! Vaughan had recovered by now, and rejoined his partner. They shared a smirk before hauling Konnor and Viktor off the mat into deadlift stalling suplexes! After that, all that was left was the winning, as Ryback selflessly allowed Vaughan to take his Wrestlemania moment, climb the cage, and claim victory for RyVaughan. C+



- - - - -

Now the true show-before- the-show has begun! It is time for Beth Phoenix versus AJ Lee for the Divas championship! The grand entrances mirror one another – AJ Lee comes out first with a dozen lookalikes, and they skip around her as she walks down the ramp, serious in temperament for the fight ahead. Once she arrives in the ring, the champion makes her entrance – carried upon a throne hauled by six swole glamazons, Beth Phoenix and her title are carried to the foot of the ring, and they genuflect as she rises. With both opponents present in the ring, the entrance attendants prowl around it, fixated upon them, like strange lumberjacks.

Before the bell rings, the ref holds the title aloft and AJ reaches out for a handshake. Beth considers it, and takes her hand firmly – before pulling her opponent straight into a knee strike! The bell rings and this match is on.

From the outset, Beth goes for sheer dominance like a woman who knows exactly what’s at stake. She whips AJ into the corner and lays into her with vicious clubbing forearms, barely backing off even when the ref admonishes her. When Beth is distracted by the ref, AJ leaps on to her back with a headlock, only to get hefted on to Beth's shoulders and smashed into the mat with a modified Samoan drop.

Beth follows up with a number of suplexes, but each one fails to get the pin. At one point, she clubs AJ with a discus punch, then nails her with the Glam Slam. One, two - AJ gets her foot on the ropes. Beth didn't see it and was convinced she had the win, holding her hand up, even as the ref points out AJ's foot.

Beth starts to lose her cool, losing all semblance of technique and going for pure power. This costs her as she runs straight into a spin kick from AJ. With Beth on her knees, AJ follows up with a dropkick to the face. Feeling it, AJ goes up top, only to get caught mid cross body and slammed down to the mat, but this gets another two. Beth goes for a second Glam Slam, but AJ reverses into a schoolgirl pin. Surprisingly, AJ lets Beth up at two; she wants a decisive finish.

Beth makes AJ pay for it by raking the eyes. She goes for a third Glam Slam, but AJ counters into the Black Widow! Beth fights her way to within inches of the ropes, but drops to a knee. Just when it seems as though victory is all but assured for AJ, Beth roars and launches herself into the ropes! It’s not clear who got the worst of that last resort, as AJ is knocked away and Beth hangs haphazardly between the first and second ropes.

AJ is dazed and Beth is clearly in pain, but she takes a moment to steel herself before pulling herself up, selling the damage both AJ and herself have inflicted. AJ gets up to meet her but is caught in a belly to belly that ragdolls the former champion. Beth is slow and wincing but she brings AJ up to hit another belly to belly, and then another. Both lie on the mat until Beth pulls herself up, shaking slightly, and brings AJ into a second Glam Slam! She exerts just enough energy to flip AJ over for the pin and she’s all but limp as the ref makes the three count. Beth Phoenix retains as the crowd roars, and the glamazons surrounding the ring snap out of their trance and begin savagely attacking the AJ clones, driving them into the back. C+

- - - - -

A haggard Beth raises her title before falling to her knees as the lights go down and we’re treated to a supercut of all the great Christopher Walken performances, scored to the dulcet tones of Slayer’s greatest hits! Soon we will meet our evening’s master of ceremonies. But first, the Commissionership of the WWE must be decided!

- - - - -



The adrenaline-pumping theme of Kurt Angle plays as the Olympian runs out to the stage, clad in a red white and blue robe, his gold medal dangling around his neck. The crowd moans YOU ROCK in time with the beats as he briskly moves to the ring. He does his signature spin upon arriving once, as blue flame erupts in a row on the apron opposite hard cam, and he doffs the robe and medal to begin stretching in intense focus, his eyes trained on the ramp.

The arena goes dark.

BEHOLD THE KING

THE KING OF KINGS


HHH appeared at the top of the ramp, in a crown of thorns, purple and gold gear, and hauling a cross through a ghostly fog enveloping the stage, casting his figure in silhouette. As his theme blared, he dragged the cross down the ramp, finally letting it fall as he neared the ring. He dropped the crown and a purple cloak he had been wearing onto it and entered the ring, a malicious smirk on his face. As ringside attendants carried the cross and crown away, the ref checked both men, with HHH being a bit less willing to submit to the check than Angle, and signaled for the bell.

The match began with Angle trying a technical approach, wrapping HHH up in wristlocks and waistlocks, while HHH rebuffed him with hard strikes. Neither man really got an advantage here, with Angle getting a hold in only for HHH to get out, get a good hit in, and get hooked right back into another hold. This kept going until Angle was able to take HHH to the mat with a German Suplex, at which point he got the decisive lead. Once HHH was down, Angle started going after his legs, wearing him down with a few stomps before going for the first Ankle Lock of the match, but HHH got out quick, reaching the ropes and forcing a break.

HHH kept near the ropes, daring Angle to come at him, but Angle played coy, keeping his distance and waiting for HHH to go for him. The standoff lasted a few moments, with both men feinting strikes, before Angle drove HHH into the corner with a running European Uppercut, prompting a few CE-SA-RO chants from the crowd, before laying into him with more uppercuts. Kurt got a little cocky, and scaled the ropes for a 10 punch spot, but HHH took advantage, grabbing Angle by the waist and driving him back-first into the opposite turnbuckle before laying in some strikes of his own. After a particularly harsh strike, HHH whipped Angle back across the ring into the turnbuckle and hit a running step-up knee strike. As the woozy Angle stumbled out of the corner, HHH smirked to the camera, put his hands together, and laid his head on them like a pillow before picking Angle up for the Go To Sleep! However, on the way down, Angle grabbed HHH's leg, turning the GTS into a Dragon Screw and sending HHH back to the mat before locking on the Ankle Lock yet again. HHH yet again made the ropes, and once the break was made he pulled himself out of the ring.

Angle didn't follow HHH out of the ring quite yet, instead keeping his distance as HHH hobbled around ringside, the ref starting to count to 10. At 5, Steph had made her way through the crowd with a water bottle for her husband, and he enjoyed a drink as Angle began getting impatient. At 8, he had finished the bottle and rolled back into the ring, immediately rolling back out and restarting the count. This ticked Angle off, and he ran for HHH, knocking him over with a baseball slide kick off the apron before going on the offensive. Angle whipped him into the barricade, following up with a running uppercut and an attempted belly-to-belly, but Hunter reversed the suplex into a suplex of his own, tossing Angle against the (thankfully padded) barricade before picking him up, whipping him into a barricade closer to the announce desk, and hitting a running lariat, which hit hard despite HHH's slowed pace. As the ref got to 8, HHH rolled back in and out, restarting the count again, before clearing out the announce table and dragging Angle over. He set Angle down on the table, scaled it himself, and started to set Angle up for a Pedigree through the table, but Angle fought back, and the two tenderized each other with hard strikes before HHH got the advantage, hooked Angle's arms, AND PUT HIM FACE FIRST THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE DESK WITH A PEDIGREE!

Neither man left that spot intact, with HHH's already weakened leg further damaged by the knees-first drop and Angle's arm having landed wrong on a piece of equipment, causing a laceration. As officials checked on both men, the ref momentarily paused his count. While Angle was bleeding, the officials didn't deem it serious enough to stop the match, and the count continued. Neither man was able to get to his feet before 7, but Angle was able to drag HHH to the ring and roll him in before rolling in himself. Rather than going immediately for the Ankle Lock, Angle scaled the turnbuckle, waited for HHH to struggle to his feet, AND KICKED HHH'S LEG OUT FROM UNDER HIM WITH A MISSILE DROPKICK! HHH was on the mat, clutching his leg, and Angle struck, getting the Ankle Lock hooked in. HHH kept struggling, trying to make it to the ropes, trying to roll through, but through it all, Angle kept the hold on. After one more attempt to make the ropes, Angle grapevined, taking some pressure off his bleeding arm, and HHH had no choice but to tap out. Once Hunter tapped, Angle fell to the mat, unconscious.

As officials rushed the ring to provide both men medical attention, the ref raised the still-prone Angle's good arm, declaring him the winner, and the undisputed Commissioner of the WWE! B

More soon...

Basic Chunnel fucked around with this message at 05:12 on Aug 6, 2016

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Basic Chunnel
Sep 21, 2010

Jesus! Jesus Christ! Say his name! Jesus! Jesus! Come down now!

Organizing and doing some minor editing, rest goes up tomorrow, provided I can churn the B-plot from outline! Sincere thank you to those who contributed and to everyone for their patience. I'll go ahead and edit the remainder into the above post when it's ready.

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