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Pretty sure I've told parts of this story here before, but I ended up getting involved with a ring of those astral plane/channeling/demon fighting types during my teenage years. This particular group made no use of incantations, instead relying on intense meditation, visualization and expression of willpower - Very eastern, really. Being a daydreamer and having some shaolin kempo training, I was a natural fit for anything that required a meditative state of mind. Before I joined the group, I had been warned that the development and usage of my powers would turn me into a beacon for demons and spirits. I was fine with this because I wanted to kill bad guys and do cool poo poo, as any teenager does. I stopped being fine with it when I started hearing voices. Bear in mind that 'hearing' is something of a misnomer - I heard these things with my ears, yes, but also in my mind. Like a thought just... Forcing its way into my skull from the outside. It was typical horror movie poo poo, for the most part: Whispers, screams, eerie crying baby sounds. This was understandably creepy as poo poo, but also pretty cool, so I kept on. With time, I became very, very good at visualizing the ah, 'astral plane' as it were. Having discovered that I possessed the element of fire, I began to feel considerable heat radiating through my body during my energy manipulation practice. Right around that time was when I started to feel things touching me. Sudden sensations of cold and little stabs of pain were commonplace. I felt forced to use my powers with greater and greater frequency just to maintain a bubble of personal space. The whole thing came to an end when I heard what sounded like an enormous explosion going off in my face and felt a horrendous stabbing pain in my chest, like some sort of foreign object had run me completely through - I was later told that I had encountered an 'impaler'. The sensation I felt in that moment is difficult to explain, honestly. I felt it twice, if that makes sense, like something had punched through and gored me through the soul. I was done at that point. I got out, stopped using my powers and dedicated a goodly portion of my time trying to work out the truth of what had happened to me. I eventually turned up a small amount of research on something called shamanic illness. The gist of what I read was that the brain could be utterly broken through intense, frequent meditation, thereby altering one's perception of the world. Things are seen, voices are heard, sensations are felt, so on and so forth. You essentially force your mind into a state that isn't unlike schizophrenia. I guess this makes for kind of a lovely, non-specific ghost story, but... It isn't a ghost story. Don't gently caress with the occult, kids. You'll break your brain.
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Feb 5, 2015 23:54
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| # ¿ May 11, 2024 15:53 |
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