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FooF
Mar 26, 2010
Pure Perception
John, an average, middle-class man wakes up one day with a slight headache. Nothing seems awry at first until he begins his morning commute. While driving to work, he begins to notice that every other driver around him looks like male/female models, though some of them do have a few years on them. Perfect complexion, fit, and healthy, John can't help but wonder why everyone is so physically attractive.

Arriving at work, he runs into what John can only assume to be Helen, one of his colleagues. She is gorgeous and has seemingly lost 200 lbs. Her language is elevated and she cant't stop talking about teaching chemistry (which is odd because she is working at a FedEx). John then runs into the office clown, Jeremy, only to find him ripped like a costumed superhero. Jeremy is also talking much differently and while he is still somewhat of a goofball, his jokes are poignant critiques of society. It's as if he had become Ph.D. in sociology overnight.

John continues to run into acquaintances and friends that have all had this inexplicable makeover and cannot make heads or tails of it. Even people on TV look and sound better. On his way home, he witnesses a very peculiar sight (which is saying something considering the day John is having). There ahead of him was a curvaceous woman in a baby carriage. She is still in a onesy and has a pacifier in her mouth. Though she does not speak, she looks at John with eyes that pierce his soul. Intuitively, he knows that she will grow-up to be a psychologist.

"Grow-up?" John thinks. It then dawns on him that the woman in the carriage is actually a baby. What was he seeing? John becomes light-headed and scrapes his palm as he hits the ground. In an instant, he realizes that he is seeing everyone at the hypothetical peak of their physical and mental prowess. He's seeing people as they should be. John realizes that he has to get a mirror. He has to see...himself.

Rushing to the bathroom, John hesitates before stepping to the mirror. Does he really want to know? Would he be hopelessly depressed at what he could have been? Or, would he see an image that was never attainable and thus, just another fantasy of his young adult life? Sheepishly going in front of the mirror, John witnesses an even crueler image: nothing has changed.

John weeps bitterly and crumples into a heap. He wants to believe his new-found vision does not work on its owner but he knows the truth. To John's everlasting shame, his utmost and all he could ever hope to accomplish was always going to be...a Goon

FooF fucked around with this message at 00:26 on Feb 16, 2015

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