- Improbable Lobster
- Jan 6, 2012
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"From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.
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Buglord
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It turns out that Gypsies are an enthic group and none of them are able to curse people.
The twist is that this is because Hitler killed all of the ones the knew magic.
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Feb 11, 2015 18:06
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 22, 2024 05:05
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- Improbable Lobster
- Jan 6, 2012
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"From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.
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Buglord
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The Improbable Lobster
Darrel Figby is obsessed with statistics. He bases every choice in his life around probabilities. He carries an umbrella with him on a sunny day because he heard there was a 20% chance of rain, doesn't take the bus on Thursdays because that's when the highest number of bus accidents occur, only buys certain products etc...
One day he learns he is up for a big promotion at his job (he works as an actuary, of course). Figby knows from observation that employees who take the boss out to dinner are significantly more likely to get promoted than those who don't, so he does the smart thing and invites his boss out after work that day. The boss heartily accepts and offers the man a ride to the restaurant.
Unfortunately, the boss is the man's exact opposite in his approach to life: he drives his dangerous car fast, he smokes, he drinks and takes all kinds of other unnecessary risks. Poor Figby is at his wits' end before they even reach the restaurant!
There, the boss orders a big steak. Figby knows off the top of his head that an alarmingly high number of people choke to death on steak every year, so he scans the menu, zeroing in on the meal with the lowest probability of causing death or intestinal discomfort: lobster.
Unfortunately for him, he gets the lobster intended for a young couple at a different table, and there is a diamond ring concealed inside as part of an elaborate proposal scheme.
Poor Figby chokes on the diamond ring and dies.
You're good at this. Too good at this.
A popular newsletter is causing stirs in the quiet community of Somethingville. The newsletter is made up of short stories, each one ending in an ironic twist or morality lesson. While they enjoy great popularity the community is soon terrorized when the stories in the newsletter begin to happen in real life! Now the whole town must work together to find who's writing the letters.
The twist is that it's a dog
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Feb 13, 2015 00:52
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- Improbable Lobster
- Jan 6, 2012
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"From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.
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Buglord
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A man loses his job after being made redundant, comes home to find an identical copy of him coming home after losing his job
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Feb 16, 2015 09:25
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