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Dude breaks his toe. Despite seeking medical treatment, he breaks more bones in his foot and then breaks some bones in his other foot. Stupid fucker just keeps breaking his bones up through his legs and then his pelvis. Eventually he's all just a sad limp sack of busted bones jutting out of his skin and face. Also his foreskin won't stop growing. Kinda like the blob.
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Feb 5, 2015 07:33
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| # ¿ May 22, 2024 17:28 |
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Scientists finally perfect a bacteria that secretes oil as a waste product, grown in the stomachs of pigs. Pig farms expand across the country and oil production skyrockets while prices fall. Pig bodies begin utilizing the oil as a source for sustenance and proceed to grow and breed at an alarming pace. The oil also makes their brains defective causing severe anger issues. All hell breaks lose as these obese and oppressive pigs belching out fumes and making GBS threads out crude oil run amok. At the same time, the bacteria spreads to the human population through the lungs and guts due to people eating oil secreting bacteria infested pig meat. Eventually mankind, overrun with gaseous oil making GBS threads pigs poisoning the environment, collapses as everyone chokes to death with throats full of toxic crude and eyes burning from the fumes, writhing helplessly in a thick black sheen that coats everything around them. Their assholes are of course blackened and feeling scorched and all the pants are ruined forever. President Kucinich fucked around with this message at 04:50 on Feb 7, 2015 |
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Feb 7, 2015 04:45
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Fashion scientists start gauging ballsacks with cannulas. Men everywhere are dribbling cum out of their balls all over the floor leading to lots of slippage and twisted broken ankles. The fashion scientists were actually ankle support manufacturers. They make millions.
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Feb 7, 2015 07:34
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Woman builds real dolls for a living with each one custom built per the customer's preference. She is renowned the world over for crafting the must lush and sensual sex dolls in existence. How this woman is able to craft a sex object that perfectly hits all the right pleasure spots per each individual customer is discussed and speculated widely. Turns out when a customer places an order, the lady looks them up on ancestry.com, digs up their closest relatives or immediate family members corpses and builds the doll around whatever parts she can find while trapping and imbuing the souls of the deceased within the silicon rubber. The public finds out and is revolted, but is unable to let go of their familial soul vessel sex dolls because they feel too good.
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Feb 7, 2015 20:38
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Nameless_Steve posted:A man wakes up in Hawaii in 1941 on December 9th. He immediately proceeds to warn everybody about the impending attack by the Japanese, but nobody believes him because Pearl Harbor was attacked on December 7th, and he just sucked at history. I like this one. It's simple, but good.
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Feb 8, 2015 07:08
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A passionate gape artist's dream comes true as their butthole becomes infinitely elastic. whole cities are consumed. Or A passionate gape artist's worst nightmare comes true as their butthole becomes sentient and seizes revenge by gaping the owner.
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Feb 12, 2015 09:51
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Autism syrup inadvertently cures AIDS.
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Feb 13, 2015 07:07
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Mr. Denny's very serious and well mannered ball pit. A Willy Loman looking motherfucker can be found on the byroads and disused interstate highways scattered through the midwest. The side road gravel littered with tin cans, cigarette butts, and discarded refuse has been his home for many years. For those fortunate enough to find Mr. Denny, they will also find the most perfect, piss free, immaculate 3 foot high children's inflatable ball pit at his side. Most parents are wise enough at first contact to not let their children anywhere near Mr. Denny with his judging scowl, gaunt features, ill fitting thrift store suit, and cheap hillbilly haircut. Mr. Denny prefers it this way. He doesn't need stupid little shits loving up his super bright ultra clean orbs with their greasy hands, sloppy smiles, and ugly laughs while their parents placate themselves to the side with adult pablum. He also doesn't need hysterical helicopter mothers slapping up his face when he inevitably snaps at their misbehaved brats. But more than that, he does not wish the long arm of the law pressing down on him when certain kids go missing. No, Mr. Denny is extremely particular about who steps foot into this majestic ball pit. Pansexual debutantes, Lush tarts, ironic hipsters, and other people of ill repute and by themselves. Should a solitary person happen upon Mr. Denny and his precious ball pit, a bad day awaits. Mr. Yaziz Cool Bolo just missed the 3 o'clock public transportation mode of conveyance and now he walks. A bad day waits for him. "I'ma dump seed in so much sloon tonight!" Yaziz remarked through his beard he was chewing on while admiring the screen printing on his fresh new CHVRCHΞS tee shirt. Self centered idiot millennial wasn't paying attention when he headbutted Mr. Denny right in his chest. "Oh man, I'm so sorry, you alright?" Mr. Denny brushes it off and straightens his suit jacket. "Yes, I'm fine." "Young man, I seem to have lost my glasses in this here random ball pit. Would you do this old man a favor and fetch them for me?" "Ehhnn.. I don't really have time for this, I got my hot girl D.N.A.dumpster waiting on me..." "It'll only take a second..." Mr. Yaziz Bolo strokes his beard and relents. "Sure, I can get your glasses. I guess." Yaziz slides legs first into the ball pit. Where he thought his shoes would hit solid ground, there were only more balls. "Dude, this ball pit is deeep.." "Haha, this is pretty neat!" Yaziz swam and frolicked among the wonderful balls, blissfully absent minded of the fact that he was sinking fast. Mr. Yaziz Cool Bolo sinks beneath the colorful balls. Mr. Denny checks his watch. Deep inside the pit, the balls strike. Without warning, the Plasticine balls smash through Yaziz' teeth and cram themselves by the hundreds down the hipster's throat. They well up inside his stomach and lungs, pushing a chunky Wendy's brioche cheeseburger fluid back up his throat and snout. Coughing and sputtering, the ball pit feeds him more and more. Yaziz' inner organs make way for the expanding gut, his pelvis splays inside him. The heart ruptures and the sternum shatters. with no screaming and little fanfare, the victim is in total shock and sinks ever farther into the turgid recesses of the ball pit. The last sensation is the overwhelming stench of decades worth of stale piss burning his nostrils and eyes. Plastic balls and urine await Yazis where he's slowly emulsified into a sticky paste by thousands of rumbling tumbling orbs. There's only one thing in this world Mr. Denny loves, and that's his precious clown looking sarlac ball pit. And the ball pit loves him too.
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Feb 13, 2015 22:53
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Nameless_Steve posted:Speak American, dammit! The UK is an episode of the Twilight Zone.
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Feb 16, 2015 09:57
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| # ¿ May 22, 2024 17:28 |
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A pig must copulate with a human male or face embarrassment and disgrace at the local feed trough.
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Feb 17, 2015 04:10
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