- Alan Smithee
- Jan 4, 2005
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A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.
Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...
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And that's why you don't teach white men lessons (said while holding prosthetic arm)
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Feb 7, 2015 07:11
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May 22, 2024 12:08
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- Alan Smithee
- Jan 4, 2005
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A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.
Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...
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Morty Perriwinkle was a milquetoast bank teller who would one day find that he was the last man on earth in a world populated by women. Even then he couldn't get laid
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Feb 7, 2015 07:14
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- Alan Smithee
- Jan 4, 2005
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A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.
Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...
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General Hans Moleman leads the Mole People
is the name of the episode
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Feb 7, 2015 13:17
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- Alan Smithee
- Jan 4, 2005
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A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.
Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...
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A woman with a big, jiggly behind shakes her butt at the screen for the entire episode. At the very end she turns around and reveals she was actually a man the whole time and calls anyone who masturbated to him "officially gay."
there's nothing weird about this tho
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Feb 7, 2015 22:10
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- Alan Smithee
- Jan 4, 2005
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A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.
Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...
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imagine a planet like earth with people like humans except not and we are the aleins visitng them
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Feb 8, 2015 01:44
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- Alan Smithee
- Jan 4, 2005
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A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.
Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...
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This is an actual Buzz Lightyear of Star Command episode
but were they like the weird 3 eyed aleins of the pizza place or did they look like us and did buzz make it with a hot alien woman
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Feb 8, 2015 12:59
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- Alan Smithee
- Jan 4, 2005
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A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.
Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...
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imagine a country not unlike your own
except people wear hats on their feet and hamburgers eat people
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Feb 8, 2015 21:31
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- Alan Smithee
- Jan 4, 2005
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A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.
Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...
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man sees monster in a plane. turns out it's a world inhabited by monsters and mankind are monsters. The monster sees him on the wing and gets scared
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Feb 10, 2015 11:10
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- Alan Smithee
- Jan 4, 2005
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A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.
Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...
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A level 5 demi-vegan sobs into her pillow wondering when the world will put an end ot the cruelty against animal kind
she awakens in a world exactly as she wished, where animals are treated as peers and only veggies are consumed
only, to her horror, veggies can scream
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Feb 10, 2015 13:28
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- Alan Smithee
- Jan 4, 2005
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A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.
Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...
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Applewhite finds tat everytime he writes he get paid 1 dollar a word for non repeating sentences (he tested it out). HE types and he types and then he types some more, ignoring friends family and lovers alike. He eventually dies of his hubris though rich nonetheless. You can't take it wiht you
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Feb 10, 2015 16:13
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- Alan Smithee
- Jan 4, 2005
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A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.
Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...
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A Mad Archivist kills people who visit his archives and sorts their various body parts under the appropriate letter.
One night the parts start coming to life and attack him. He flees, but is cornered in the "I" section, where a length of intestine slithers around his throat and strangles him to death.
i cant wait for the xx x pardoy where he winds up in the D section
or B if you are not gay
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Feb 11, 2015 06:35
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- Alan Smithee
- Jan 4, 2005
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A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.
Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...
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a man who hates clowns wakes up in a world wherre everyone is a clown and he is normal but normal people are the clowns and they all laugh at him. One child is afraid of "clowns" and he must teach them an important lesson about acceptance and conquering your fears. He then dies in a horrific car accident in involving 2 cars and 28 clowns
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Feb 11, 2015 12:50
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- Alan Smithee
- Jan 4, 2005
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A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.
Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...
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a hipster at a thrift store finds a notebook that if you write in it the person's name you write will die. He writes his own name because he's insufferable and trying to be cute
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Feb 12, 2015 07:59
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- Alan Smithee
- Jan 4, 2005
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A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.
Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...
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Mr. Denny's very serious and well mannered ball pit.
A Willy Loman looking motherfucker can be found on the byroads and disused interstate highways scattered through the midwest. The side road gravel littered with tin cans, cigarette butts, and discarded refuse has been his home for many years.
For those fortunate enough to find Mr. Denny, they will also find the most perfect, piss free, immaculate 3 foot high children's inflatable ball pit at his side. Most parents are wise enough at first contact to not let their children anywhere near Mr. Denny with his judging scowl, gaunt features, ill fitting thrift store suit, and cheap hillbilly haircut.
Mr. Denny prefers it this way. He doesn't need stupid little shits loving up his super bright ultra clean orbs with their greasy hands, sloppy smiles, and ugly laughs while their parents placate themselves to the side with adult pablum. He also doesn't need hysterical helicopter mothers slapping up his face when he inevitably snaps at their misbehaved brats. But more than that, he does not wish the long arm of the law pressing down on him when certain kids go missing.
No, Mr. Denny is extremely particular about who steps foot into this majestic ball pit. Pansexual debutantes, Lush tarts, ironic hipsters, and other people of ill repute and by themselves. Should a solitary person happen upon Mr. Denny and his precious ball pit, a bad day awaits.
Mr. Yaziz Cool Bolo just missed the 3 o'clock public transportation mode of conveyance and now he walks. A bad day waits for him.
"I'ma dump seed in so much sloon tonight!" Yaziz remarked through his beard he was chewing on while admiring the screen printing on his fresh new CHVRCHΞS tee shirt. Self centered idiot millennial wasn't paying attention when he headbutted Mr. Denny right in his chest.
"Oh man, I'm so sorry, you alright?"
Mr. Denny brushes it off and straightens his suit jacket. "Yes, I'm fine."
"Young man, I seem to have lost my glasses in this here random ball pit. Would you do this old man a favor and fetch them for me?"
"Ehhnn.. I don't really have time for this, I got my hot girl D.N.A.dumpster waiting on me..."
"It'll only take a second..."
Mr. Yaziz Bolo strokes his beard and relents. "Sure, I can get your glasses. I guess."
Yaziz slides legs first into the ball pit. Where he thought his shoes would hit solid ground, there were only more balls. "Dude, this ball pit is deeep.."
"Haha, this is pretty neat!" Yaziz swam and frolicked among the wonderful balls, blissfully absent minded of the fact that he was sinking fast. Mr. Yaziz Cool Bolo sinks beneath the colorful balls.
Mr. Denny checks his watch.
Deep inside the pit, the balls strike.
Without warning, the Plasticine balls smash through Yaziz' teeth and cram themselves by the hundreds down the hipster's throat. They well up inside his stomach and lungs, pushing a chunky Wendy's brioche cheeseburger fluid back up his throat and snout. Coughing and sputtering, the ball pit feeds him more and more. Yaziz' inner organs make way for the expanding gut, his pelvis splays inside him. The heart ruptures and the sternum shatters. with no screaming and little fanfare, the victim is in total shock and sinks ever farther into the turgid recesses of the ball pit. The last sensation is the overwhelming stench of decades worth of stale piss burning his nostrils and eyes. Plastic balls and urine await Yazis where he's slowly emulsified into a sticky paste by thousands of rumbling tumbling orbs.
There's only one thing in this world Mr. Denny loves, and that's his precious clown looking sarlac ball pit. And the ball pit loves him too.
Mr Denny: "Your privilege, check it"
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Feb 13, 2015 23:13
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- Alan Smithee
- Jan 4, 2005
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A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.
Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...
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fake edit: oops bollocks this is actually a episode of black mirror
Can we do Black Mirrors?
So there's this bloek who lives in a future England where chavs are fed into giant energy machines that in turn produce anything you desire so long as you are a law abiding citizen in good standing. For some reason he feels this is bad and wants to put a stop to i t but finds himself being fed into the machine and turned into a gamebox console
episode is titled First They Came For the Chavs
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Feb 16, 2015 10:48
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May 22, 2024 12:08
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- Alan Smithee
- Jan 4, 2005
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A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.
Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...
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wherein we live in a society where everybody is a pornstar watching each other do porn
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Feb 17, 2015 10:15
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Feb 7, 2015 07:11
