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redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Jupiter's Cock!

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redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

We need some new gods IMO.

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

I mean I know it's cliche as gently caress
but jesus is lord lol?

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

yung jew posted:

to all heathens: the blood of christ is against you

Yeah? What super powers does the blood of christ have?

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Stottie Kyek posted:

It can transubstantiate wine into itself, which is nice for communion ceremonies and all but you don't want that power used against you. Imagine having a nice drink that you've just paid for, and suddenly it turns into gross blood just as you put it to your mouth :gonk:

Meh. Spiderman seems cooler.

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Volume posted:

Grade school textbooks teach evolution as fact. It is a monstrous lie that harms our children.

The evolution theory says we evolved from the original Big Bang and later crawled out of a green slime from the ocean.

Here is one example of its ludicrous hypothesis.

Of all the mysteries surrounding evolution, the one that is most baffling to the evolutionists, is “water.” Where did all the oceans come from?

As explained on the National Geographic program, it came from a massive collision in space. As the Earth was cooling from the Big Bang, it was approached by a stray planet that was teeming with water. It collided with Earth, spilled its water onto the Earth, then careened off into space.

Talk about fairy tales. By the way, where did the stray planet get its water?

Come on evolutionists, surely you can develop a more plausible explanation that can be easier to swallow. Until then, I accept the Bible’s answer. After all, the 4,000-year-old book has a perfect track record.

The evolution theory is only 140 years old.

This checks out. Praise Jesus.

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Volume posted:

I think I can prove the truth of the biblical word. I live in Canada, and I notice the aboriginal natives live in squalor with drug abuse, violence and suicide. The natives practiced pagen religions until they were enlightened with the word of God. However, the bible states that a man who sins against God will suffer and his subsequent generations will suffer. The suffering of the natives is due to the sins of their forefathers and the fact that they never accepted Jesus as their Lord and Saviour.

It checks out...

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007


Praise Jesus

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redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

lol "god".

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