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I was listening to an audio review of Blame It On Rio (We Hate Movies: http://www.whmpodcast.com/2014/03/episode-147-blame-it-on-rio.html) and I thought of looking up this poorly received sex comedy/holiday romance on Wikipedia. This is what I encountered: "Blame it on Rio is a 1984 romantic comedy film, written by Charlie Peters and Larry Gelbart and directed by Stanley Donen." Ok. Tell me more. "Michael Caine is Matthew, who is married to Valerie Harper as Karen, and has a daughter, Nikki, played by Demi Moore. His marriage is not going well for reasons not explained, certainly not by Karen, who lies in bed sighing in discontent, but passive-aggressively refuses to express what's wrong, except to issue snide answers like "Nothing. That's what's always been going on in our marriage... nothing." " Pff! This isn't going to be one of those "He said/she said" summaries, is it? "During a walk on the beach, Victor and Matthew pass numerous women walking around topless. The fathers spot their daughters in the distance, and as they wave to get their attention, the girls turn around to reveal that they too have taken off their bikini tops and are walking about with their breasts exposed. Jennifer's are much larger than Nikki's, and Nikki seems to hide hers behind her long hair. "  Oh, wait, the writer didn't happen to mention that at the time of filming Michelle Johnson was 17 years old and fully nude in one scene, which had to be signed off by her parents. "After dropping the girls off at a Brazilian wedding, the men visit a local pub in search of dates. After Victor pairs off with a local cigar-smoking divorcée, Matthew winds up at the Brazilian wedding, where he runs into the amorous Jennifer. While watching the festivities together, Matthew and Jennifer start to feel some chemistry develop between them. The ceremony involves the guests stripping mostly naked to wander into the surf with the bride and groom, and Jennifer once again strips down to bikini bottoms and allows Matthew to see her exposed figure. Not surprisingly, they eventually share a passionate kiss – much to the chagrin of Nikki, who inadvertently sees what's going on between her father and her best friend. Jennifer is coming onto him very aggressively, breathing "make love to me." Then Matthew and Jennifer have full sex on the beach, followed by some "comedy" as Matthew is almost caught by a couple of acquaintances and covers his naked body up on sand so they will not realize what he has been doing. "  "The next day, Jennifer continues to heavily come onto Matthew every time and everywhere, and seemingly cannot comprehend why she should be a little more discreet. Jennifer is making outrageous come-ons to Matthew in all sorts of inappropriate situations. At one point she takes a naked Polaroid of herself, with one arm raised over her head to emphasize the curve of her bosom, and then gives it to Matthew as they are riding in a cable car, where a Japanese tourist notices the photo and tries to take a picture of it. Matthew mentions having held and kissed Jennifer as an infant."  Holy gently caress! I think my name has just been added to the sex offenders register.  "In the meantime, Matthew tries to talk Jennifer into ending their fantasy relationship, but she is determined to never give him up. Jennifer goes to a medicine woman to get a love spell, a thread that goes precisely nowhere, and is soon screaming "You love me!" to Matthew on a beach not far from her father. She gives him a small wooden idol she received from the medicine women, which has a massive erection*." So...erm...pretty much like the editor of this Wikipedia article, right? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blame_It_on_Rio In this thread we post the most ridiculous, stupid, ill-conceived, over-detailed, picky, spergy, badly judged screeds of movie trivia/summaries on reasonably reputable internet sites. No fanfic or blog  , this has to come from sources that are supposed to be reliable.E: Please quote for posterity as well as linking. These delicate flowers may be plucked from us and lost forever if you don't. E2: For the (much better titled) thread on terrible Wikipedia entries on books Wikipedia book trivia: In a fit of rebellion, he eats 2 cheeseburgers http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3700491 * "erection" helpfully hyperlinked to a Wikipedia article on that subject. Thanks. A lot. Josef K. Sourdust fucked around with this message at 20:49 on Feb 12, 2015 |
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Feb 12, 2015 18:58
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Yeah, I think what I find most striking is the fanfic quality of the entry not the fact it exists or that the film is terrible. Also: Josef K. Sourdust posted:"Michael Caine is Matthew, who is married to Valerie Harper as Karen, and has a daughter, Nikki, played by Demi Moore. His marriage is not going well for reasons not explained, certainly not by Karen, who lies in bed sighing in discontent, but passive-aggressively refuses to express what's wrong, except to issue snide answers like "Nothing. That's what's always been going on in our marriage... nothing." " I love that the editor is laying down a sick  on all those bitchy adult women, amirite men?  In an encyclopedia entry.Also I find that there is no page on an internet database which cannot be enhanced by the use of the phrase "massive erection".
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Feb 13, 2015 10:58
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I found the Wikipedia entry on Britney Spears's Crossroads disappointingly free of spergy he-said-she-said plot synopsis. However, there is one gem. In a sidebar there is a photo of Mariah Carey and this text: "Despite being panned by critics, Crossroads was viewed as a better effort than Mariah Carey's Glitter."  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crossroads_(2002_film) Josef K. Sourdust fucked around with this message at 11:42 on Feb 13, 2015 |
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Feb 13, 2015 11:39
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Wikipedia posted:The Ice Storm is a 1997 American drama film directed by Ang Lee, based on the 1994 novel of the same name by Rick Moody. Yeah, that sounds right. Remind me about it. Highly regarded coming-of-age drama set in the early 1970s with an A-list cast and a top director, right? Wikipedia posted:The Ice Storm is about two dysfunctional New Canaan, Connecticut families who are trying to deal with tumultuous political and social changes of the early 1970s, and their escapism through alcohol, adultery, and sexual experimentation. Seems a bit detailed for a plot summary but go on. Wikipedia posted:The Hood family includes Ben, Elena, and their children, 16-year-old Paul and 14-year-old Wendy. Their neighbors, the Carvers, include Jim, Janey, and their children: Mikey and Sandy. Uh oh, I'm getting a bad feeling about this. Wasn't this just like a regular mainstream movie about dysfunctional families? I didn't remember it being a Cinemax soft-core movie. Wikipedia posted:During their trysts, Ben obsesses to Janey over his displeasure with his job and his frustrations at continually being bested by his colleague, smarmy George Clair. Janey seems to have become bored with the arrangement since she has now become unfaithful, not only to her husband but to Ben as well. She abruptly leaves the room just prior to a planned sexual encounter with Ben, excusing herself to get "birth control" but instead flees the house leaving Ben alone.  You're going to give a scene by scene description of everything in this movie, aren't you?Wikipedia posted:Realizing that she is not returning, Ben prepares to leave but comes upon his daughter Wendy in the Carvers' basement initiating a sex act with Mikey (a few days previously, she had revealed her genitalia* to Sandy). Ben then has an awkward discussion with Wendy about sex. Oh yeah, while mentioning sex in every sentence if possible.  Wikipedia posted:Wendy is visibly bored with the conversation. Dunno about Wendy but I'll getting visibly bored by all this detail. Where is this headed, editor? Wikipedia posted:As the evening begins, a storm hits New Canaan which evolves into a dangerous ice storm. gently caress me, I'm bored. I remember quite enjoying this movie. How have you turned this film into something simultaneously salacious and teeth-grindingly tedious? Wikipedia posted:Concurrently, Paul has taken the train into Manhattan. Paul is excited that Libbets has invited him to visit her that evening.  Wikipedia posted:He tries to keep this a secret from his roommate, Francis (of whom he is not particularly fond), since he has the habit of bedding every girl he discovers Paul is attracted to. Paul is then disheartened to discover Francis has also been invited. The three listen to music and begin drinking and smoking marijuana. It becomes clear that Libbets is more responsive to Francis' direct advances than to Paul's subtler ones. Paul attempts to drug Francis with Libbets' mother's sleeping medication so that he will be out of commission for the evening, but Libbets also takes one of the pills. Francis passes out first. Libbets and Paul leave him to sleep it off on the floor and Paul tries to make his move on Libbets. He is visibly disappointed when she tells him that she only thinks of him "like a brother" before she too passes out. I'd pull you up for the encyclopedia phrase "out of commission for the evening" but you're not even trying to conceal that fact that this is fanfic novelisation, are you? Wikipedia posted:Wendy decides to make her way to the Carvers' to see Mikey, but he has decided to go out into the ice storm, so she and Sandy climb into bed together and remove their clothes. They drink from a bottle of vodka and Wendy tries to seduce him; however, they both fall asleep. Welcome back to the plot. Any chance we could stick around that for a bit? Please. Wikipedia posted:Jim and Elena return to the Carvers' house as dawn is breaking. Elena walks in on her daughter in bed with Sandy and orders her to get dressed. I know that sex is used a plot dynamic and a means to expose interpersonal tensions but I think its the characters and tensions we're supposed to be interested in, not the sex. I mean, unless we watched different movies. Which apparently we did. Wikipedia entry about mainstream movie featuring detailed description of underage characters? Hmmm, seeing a trend much?  Wikipedia editors: spoiling movie plots and killing souls since 2001, you're welcome. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ice_Storm_(film) * hyperlinked for your edification
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Mar 2, 2015 18:53
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Pedro De Heredia posted:The sex-focused Wikipedia entries aren't any stranger than your revulsion towards them. The humour in this thread comes from the fact Wikipedia sets itself up as "an online encyclopedia". Now, consider whether the quoted examples should be in anything remotely resembling an encyclopedia. And it is that frisson between the ostensibly authoritative nature of the source and the lurid, salacious, trivial, boring, trite and inadequate material in that source which is where the humour resides.  off
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Mar 2, 2015 22:51
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Hey man. What's happening? Hey man. We're What is it? It's a pretty freaky [looking at DVD box] Oh.... Dougal and the Blue Cat isn't it that 1970 French feature of the children's animation The Magic Roundabout? Sounds a bit random. Tell me about it, Wikipedia posted:One morning in the magic garden, Dougal the dog is yelling at his cuckoo clock for dropping its pendulum on his bed. He suddenly realises that something strange happened last night, and he takes the train to speak to Zebedee about it. After a talk with Ermintrude (who is standing on the railway track), Brian (who is a bit faster than the train), Dylan (who is watching the mushrooms grow), and Mr. Machenry (who is tending his crops), he finds Zebedee conducting an orchestra of French lollipops. Once the lollipops leave on the train, Dougal tells Zebedee about what happened last night. He got to bed early, because he was tired from all his work. After a few seconds of sleep, he woke up. He got out of bed and heard a loud shriek. It was an owl who said to him "'Allo, cheeky!". You've got to be loving kidding me. This is the most detailed sperg poo poo ever. Stick with it, man. It gets pretty heavy.Wikipedia posted:Dougal then heard something even more sinister. A voice. After he hears the voice, he hears a second, female voice. You're doing this for a bet aren't you, guys? [laughing] No way! Wikipedia posted:They were coming from the old treacle factory, which had been shut down. After observing the scene from a red tree, he hears the female voice again. He returned to his bed and got back to his rest. After the flashback, Zebedee asks Dougal if he was not dreaming. After Dougal asks himself if he's "going dotty", Zebedee bounces away. Dougal then goes to see Florence. [entering room]  Hey guys. What you  This isn't going to end is it? Chillax, man!Wikipedia posted:Florence is busy cleaning her house, then she leaves for the roundabout. Her friends show her something on the magic roundabout. A blue cat. After doing a small dance, he decides to be named Buxton. "Florence meets a blue cat called Buxton." Seven. loving. Words. Count them.Wikipedia posted:Zebedee tells Florence that Dougal has a "problem". While Florence's friends ride on the roundabout, Florence goes to speak to Dougal, who is picking flowers. Florence introduces Dougal to Buxton. Dougal, jealous of the attention directed toward Buxton, dislikes him and tries to convince him that he, Buxton, will not like staying in the Garden because of the rain. At the bridge, Dylan, Ermintrude and Brian meet him as well. Ermintrude says that "Blue is beautiful". This reminds Dougal about what happened last night at the treacle factory. Everyone, with the exception of Dougal, decides that Buxton should sleep at Dougal's. They make the bed for him, while the cuckoo puts his pendulum back on the clock. You're not actually to post this, are you? I mean, I think Wikipedia is supposed to be an online encyclopedia, full of analysis and concise summaries. Shhhhh! Wikipedia posted:Buxton enters the ruins of the old treacle factory where he is crowned King after correctly identifying the colours of seven doors (coloured different shades of blue). Right. Are you ready for this? Wikipedia posted:At the entrance, he is warned that he will get shot by a crossbow if he guesses incorrectly or forgets. He recognises the first door as blue. When he enters the next room, he discovers a machine sorting out blue flowers and dumping the other colour flowers. The blue voice then says her famous line "Blue is beautiful, blue is best. I'm blue, I'm beautiful, I'm best!". The second door is cobalt blue. Buxton enters a room with piles of clothing. A large machine is collecting the blue clothing and putting the other coloured clothing in a trunk. The machine also accidentally puts a blue sheet onto Buxton. Buxton correctly guesses the third door to be Saxony blue. In here, he meets an array of scary masks. Once he escapes, Buxton goes through the fourth door, which is indigo. Buxton finds himself in an observatory-like room. He finds the fifth door to be baby blue, though he momentarily forgets. He then enters the room of thunder and lightning. The next door is Prussian blue. He finds the guard room, where his blue men are created. Buxton then jumps through a small gap in between his men to reach the final door, royal blue. After being crowned, he sings a song. Have your ever Wikipedia posted:Meanwhile, Ermintrude is painting blue pictures. Brian inadvertently helps Dougal down from the hoist by chewing the rope holding it. Dougal then tells everyone that Buxton is evil, but nobody believes him. A blue cactus then shows up while Ermintrude is showing Buxton all her paintings. Buxton informs everyone that the cacti are the "fast-growing" variety, and is happy to see it. Zebedee arrives, and informs everyone that his moustache has gone missing from his bedside table. The group search for the magic moustache, whilst Buxton sneaks off to the treacle factory. [laughing] [edging out of room slowly]Wikipedia posted:Dougal takes a "tour" of the caves beneath the treacle factory, and manages to locate the place where Buxton has imprisoned everyone. They identify him as Dougal, but he tells them to call him by his alias, Blue Peter, as he may have been followed. At this point, Buxton shows up, Ermintrude and Brian call Dougal a "blue-bag", and Buxton warns them not to mock his Prime Minister. I'm not sure I'm following all of this.Wikipedia posted:Madam Blue orders Buxton and Dougal to conquer the Moon. Whilst on the Moon, Dougal falls in a puddle and his dye washes off, revealing his true identity. The pair begin to fight, and manage to make it to the rocket, where they continue to fight. Dougal is pushed out of the rocket, but his parachute deploys, and he makes it safely back to the factory. Buxton, meanwhile, remains in the rocket, which crashes inside the factory, and causes him to feel unwell. Buxton tells Madam Blue that Blue Peter was really Dougal, Madam Blue becomes infuriated and strips Buxton of his title. Meanwhile, Dougal frees everyone from the prison cell, and they escape the treacle factory. However, Brian tries to tell Dougal that they've forgotten something. Brian takes it upon himself to enter the factory on his own. ahem... Is it over? Yeah. Until we replay it. That plot summary is 1,239 words. You're not going to post that. Seriously. Are you? Watch us. [presses enter key]url link on computer: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dougal_and_the_Blue_Cat E: smiley inline coding, you give with one hand and take away with the other... 
Josef K. Sourdust fucked around with this message at 10:49 on Mar 3, 2015 |
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Mar 3, 2015 10:20
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Mrs Fernandez: Good morning, Johnny. Johnny: Good morning, Mrs Fernandez. Mrs Fernandez: Did you do your homework? You remember I asked you to write a Wikipedia plot summary of one of your favourite movies. Johnny: Yes, Mrs Fernandez. Mrs Fernandez: Did you bring a print out of it? Johnny: No, it’s on computer. Mrs Fernandez: The internet? Oh. When I said write a Wikipedia page I didn’t mean- Never mind, let’s take a look. Wikipedia posted:Michael Jackson's Ghosts is a 1996 short film starring Michael Jackson, co-written by horror novelist Stephen King and directed by film director and special effects guru Stan Winston. Mrs Fernandez: So, it’s a 40-minute long music video rather than a feature film. Interesting choice, Johnny. Wikipedia posted:The Maestro (Michael Jackson) lives alone in a creepy-looking mansion on top of a hill, overlooking the town of "Normal Valley". Occasionally, he entertains the local children with scary magic tricks. One of the children tells his mother, who alerts the Mayor (also Michael Jackson). He in turns organizes the townspeople to go to the Maestro's mansion and force him out of town. Some of them show reluctance to do so, but are pressured into joining the Mayor on his crusade. On a stormy night they go to the Maestro's mansion (which instead of a numbered address, is addressed "Someplace Else") holding flaming torches. When they arrive at the mansion, it is guarded by a large gate. They peer in through the gate, and by the haunting look of the mansion, have second thoughts about entering. The children assure the parents that the Maestro has done nothing wrong, and ask that they leave him alone. Mrs Fernandez: Johnny, it’s a little bit detailed for a plot summary. But at least you haven’t included what the characters are saying!  Wikipedia posted:But the mayor remarks, "He's a weirdo. There's no place in this town for weirdos." Mrs Fernandez: Wikipedia posted:The front gate opens, frightening the townspeople, who make their way to the front door, which also opens by itself. The inside of the mansion appears to them even creepier than the outside, and the parents re-assure their children (and themselves) "there's no such thing as ghosts". They make their way into the house, and once they are all inside, the front door slams shut and locks itself. Mrs Fernandez: Are you a fan of Michael Jackson? Johnny: I’m his number one fan, Mrs Fernandez.  Mrs Fernandez: I thought so. Wikipedia posted:
Mrs Fernandez: Do you remember we talked in class about the difference between summarisation and narration, Johnny? Johnny: ….uhm…. Mrs Fernandez: Never mind. Do you remember the number of words you used, Johnny? Johnny: 854 words. Mrs Fernandez:  Johnny: I filled up the whole screen! Wikipedia posted:To this Maestro replies, "You are trying to scare me. I guess I have no choice; I guess I have to scare you." He then makes a series of funny faces, which the mayor calls "ridiculous" and "not funny". In a change of tone, Maestro asks, "Is this scary?" and pulls his face sideways. Then he continues to stretch his face more by pulling his face down and stretches his mouth, and ultimately pulls off his face to reveal his skull and laughing maniacally. The frightened townspeople run for the doors, which Maestro shuts with his magical powers, after he smashes his skull with his fists, revealing his normal head. One man with glasses and black hair starts to cry after the doors have been shut. Johnny: Should I have described all of the people? Mrs Fernandez: Wikipedia posted:Maestro then reminds the mayor he's not alone, and introduces his "family" of ghouls who, along with Maestro, perform extended dance routines to 2 Bad and Is It Scary (both original songs composed by Michael Jackson) which alternately impresses and scares the townspeople. During this sequence, Maestro's acts include ripping his clothes off to reveal a skeletal body; possessing the mayor and making him dance (including the moonwalk); and transforming the mayor into an evil, horrific dragon while remarking, "Who's scary now? Who's the freak now? Freaky boy! Freak, circus freak. Who's scary?" Johnny: That’s my favourite bit. Wikipedia posted:The townspeople then turn back to the now open front doors to see the Maestro standing there, laughing. He asks if they all had a good time, and the townspeople realize they did. They figure he isn't so bad after all and make peace with him. The story ends with one of the children asking with a vicious look on his face, "Is this scary?"; he grips his lower face, and the camera moves to a long shot of the mansion while terrified screams are heard. Johnny: Mrs Fernandez? Wikipedia posted:During the credits, backstage footage of Jackson's make-up sessions and green screen shots reveal how he was able to play five different roles within the film; indeed, the Cast list credits him as "Maestro", "Mayor" (which explains the mayor's impeccably Jacksonian dance moves), "Mayor Ghoul" (the horribly transformed mayor), "Super ghoul" (a giant and grotesquely deformed version of Jackson) and "Skeleton" (a CGI dancing skeleton, animated by Jackson through motion capture). The film also uses a boy that resembles young Michael Jackson from the time he was in The Jackson 5. Mrs Fernandez: Johnny: Mrs, Fernandez? Mrs Fernandez: You see the tab on the screen called “edit”? Johnny: Yes. Mrs Fernandez: There’s an option there called “revert edit”. Do you think we should click that together? Johnny: But…I’m still special, aren’t I, Mrs Fernandez?Mrs Fernadez: Yes, Johnny, you’re still special. Johnny:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Jackson%27s_Ghosts
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Mar 3, 2015 16:05
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outlier posted:One of the amazing things about Wikipedians is their uncanny inability to synopsize or figure out what's important about a subject. So you get the plot of a 90 minute movie summarized in 1500 words, or 17 words per minute. Which often makes it harder to understand what went on, since the significant plot beats are mixed in with trivial details. Absolutely! It's nuts how anyone can think that a 40 min music video needs 824 words of summary (excluding other sections). That's over 20 words per minute. The entry for the Thriller video (part of the Thriller song page) is short and summarises its influence and importance very well. I looked at the Star Wars films but since those are really high profile and high traffic pages, editors keep the sperging down to a minimum. The trick is to find some pop culture nugget that nerds/teenagers/fanboys obsess over but doesn't have a great deal of cultural importance. If you hit any entry which has a plot summary filling a screen you know you've got a bad page. It might just be tedious rather than funny though. The greater the obscurity and the longer the "summary", the more wtf-ness you are in for.
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Mar 3, 2015 17:06
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Hat Thoughts posted:I am sorry if this seems mean OP, but this thread is kind of a funny idea, except all your posts are like you're doing really bad stand-up. No, that's cool. I don't like blocks of text copies and pasted in SA, so I break them up. This is an thread for bad open-source movie data from supposedly reliable sources for anyone to contribute to. I'm looking for one-line WTF-ness but it only seems to come in full page sections.... E: Also if someone hasn't seen the film then you have provide some context because they might not understand how badly the Wikipedia/IMDB misrepresents the movie. It isn't just that an entry can be bad or badly written - it's that it might just completely distort the whole mode or message of that movie. Josef K. Sourdust fucked around with this message at 11:12 on Mar 4, 2015 |
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Mar 4, 2015 11:01
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You know what a crappy straight-to-video '90s horror flick needs? A badly written, grammatically faulty, over-detailed screed of over 1,300 words. Thanks, Wikipedia, online encyclopedia.... "An American family's father, Elliot Wade, recently became the new owner of the Dolly Dearest factory in Mexico. Not so long ago, nearby the factory, lies an entrance to the tomb of Sanzia (meaning Satan on Earth) that is believed to be from a Mayan Cult. An archaeologist fascinated by the discovery ends up dead by attempting to break inside. He not only got himself killed from fallen debris, but released an evil spirit that has been trapped within for hundreds of years. The evil spirit then finds refuge inside many dolls within the factory. The death of the archaeologist does not cease the plan of the opening doll factory. Upon the Wade's arrival from Los Angeles, they meet their solicitor[citation needed], Estrella, and escorts them to their new beautiful home. After getting acquainted with their new housekeeper, Camilla (Lupe Ontiveros), and home, Elliot and Estrella return to the vehicle. Curious about her father's factory, seven-year-old daughter Jessica asks to go with. Elliot does not object and even encourages Jimmy to come with them. Marilyn is the only family member that stays behind on the very first trip. Due to the lack of activities and maintenance, the secluded building (in and out) was covered with spiderwebs, dust, and looked very fragile. While exploring the factory in disappointment, Estrella briefly discusses the factory's history. During the conversation, Jessica leaves the group and goes to a different room. On a high shelf lies many dolls in excellent condition, thanks to the sheet that was covering them up. Outside, Jimmy finds what looks like an entrance to a cave protected by a wired-fence from future intrusion, unaware an archaeologist recently died there. As Jimmy questioned about that area, his father warned him to never go back there again. But being a highly curious character he is, does not listen. On the first night of their new home, Marilyn tucks Jessica in bed. They made brief conversations. This was the last night Jessica was herself before being manipulated by her new "playmate" doll, which she was allowed to bring home with her. As she fell asleep, Dolly becomes to life and looks at her. The next day, everything seems normal until Marilyn finds a disturbing drawing that Jessica drew. Although curious, Marilyn does not confront her. As the day progresses, Marilyn begins to experience unusual activities and changes within her daughter. First, she mistook the sound of footsteps as Jessica when it was Dolly (although the movie indicates to the audience it is Dolly, but the Mother is unaware of it until later on). Second, Camilla has sent a Priest to bless the house. During the session, Jessica throws a tantrum while in the car with Marilyn and Jimmy. The outburst scares both her family. Upon reaching their home, the Priest is seen walking away as the Mother successfully calms her down. An awkward behavior, Jessica demands to have her Dolly (for comfort possibly) immediately. As the family walks inside the house, the daughter looks back and gives Camilla an evil look. This prompt Camilla to think there is something wrong here. That night, Marilyn tells what happened today to Elliot. Thinking it is nothing to be worried about, he naively persuades everything is fine. But everything wasn't. Jessica becomes more distorted, if not, violent, and highly obsessive with Dolly as the days go by. To not attract suspicion toward her father, Jessica would act normal when he is around, but resumes evil if not, threatening her Mother. Camilla believes it was the doll that was controlling Jessica. When the daughter spoke harshly in Sanzian language, she tried to warn the Mother, as Sanzia was a tribe of evil but to no avail and gets murdered. The mayhem continues as Jimmy sneaks out the house one night and breaks into the factory from an unlocked window. He finds the night watchman Luis, dead on the floor and flees. It turns out Luis died from a heart attack but in truth, the dolls had come to life and toyed with him for a while. Struggling to escape, his hand got caught in an active sewing machine. He was able to break free, however, but the sight of the wound and in state of shock was apparently too much for him that led to his fate. As he was dying, the dolls made haughty giggles nearby. While Jimmy explains his interest of the Mayan cult to his parents, few Sanzia facts such as "make an evil kid" and "devil child" suggests Jessica's doll had an uncanny connection with the archaeological dig. The Mother, still confused and distraught, now believes Jessica really is possessed and attempts to separate the two. The first try didn't go well as Jessica warned her to not touch the doll. And when the Mother did not listen and sternly tells she's going to take the doll despite the daughter's demand, Jessica suddenly screams in a fit of rage and shouts, "I WILL KILL YOU!" And to make sure the Mother understands to never intervene again, her child's voice has turned into centuries old hoarse of the evil spirit proclaiming, "the kid's mine!" The next day, Marilyn visits the dig for the first time and talks about the tribe with an archaeologist, Resnick (Rip Torn). After asking what is it that they're looking for, Marilyn is told they are searching for the remains of the Sanzia devil child inside the tomb, which hasn't been opened yet. Resnick continues to explain the nature of the devil child being truly evil and that it was fed by a warm blood of slaughtered children. It was then killed by the tribe because the slaughter of children almost caused their extinction. She then explains Jessica is being controlled by her doll and visits Camilla's sister, a nun at a convent. The nun already knew about her plight and even tells her it's too late. Not giving up, Marilyn decides to take matters into her own hands. At home, Dolly shows its true nature to Marilyn. Both have few words and the battle begins from there. The dolls at the factory disconnect the telephone line and even one says, "it's time to play." The mother goes back downstairs, loads ammo into the shotgun, returns to Jessica's room, and finds the doll gone. It becomes a cat and mouse chase briefly then gets wary. While the mother is battling, Jimmy strives to contact his father. When not getting through, he then calls the operator, but is unable to communicate because he doesn't speak Spanish, hangs up, and aides his mom. When Jessica becomes separated, the mother snatches her up and the family runs for the front door, only blocked by Dolly, who is holding the car key. Marilyn threatens Dolly to move out the way, but the Dolly calls to Jessica and says, "it's time to play." Jessica attacks their mother. The shotgun slides on the floor toward Jimmy, who stands there, stunned. As the mother and daughter struggle, Dolly starts advancing towards them with a kitchen knife. Jimmy clutches the weapon, after figuring out how it works, he aims it at Dolly. Before pulling the trigger, he says, "play with this, bitch!" The impact of the bullets sent Dolly crashing through the door and Jessica becomes herself again. After regaining consciousness, Jessica embraces Marilyn and the family heads out to the factory to save their father. Resnick eventually opens the tomb, ignoring a mysterious woman's plea whom he encountered the night before to close the tomb and found the legend to be true after all. Inside, lies an infant in skeleton with a head of an animal and evacuates to warn Elliot. Elliot barely survived the attack and makes it out alive with sustained injuries. With the aid of Resnick, both of them planted dynamite inside the factory. The dolls tried to disarm them, but failed. Meanwhile, Jimmy planted dynamite at the pit. The bombs explode, killing the dolls inside and the family and Resnick watches as the factory burns to the ground." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dolly_Dearest
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May 25, 2015 20:29
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Talk about going from one extreme to the other. Usually bad movie entries in Wikipedia are 1,000 word he-said-she-said plot summaries. Growing Up Brady (2000, TVM expose of the true story behind The Brady Bunch) includes no plot synopsis at all but a paragraph about how it differs from the book. It concludes with this: " Also a scene where Williams' agent tells him that The Brady Bunch had been canceled is changed somewhat. Instead of drinking a bottle of Bourbon, he is drinking a bottle of Scotch." Thanks, online encyclopedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Growing_Up_Brady_(film)
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Jun 21, 2015 14:13
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IMDB summary for Did You Kiss Anyone? (2010) (some sort of Lifetime TV movie, I guess?)IMDB posted:Storyline Well, okay. But how about the tagline? IMDB posted:Taglines: A romantic comedy about marriage, sex, and sh#tting with the door open. E: Well, you can find it on Youtube and...that tagline might be genuine. I thought that had to be a wind-up but 
Josef K. Sourdust fucked around with this message at 17:10 on Dec 5, 2015 |
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Dec 5, 2015 16:06
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Wikipedia posted:The Star Wars Holiday Special is technically in the Star Wars canon. So, basically theology.
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Jul 6, 2016 20:11
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