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Zo
Feb 22, 2005

LIKE A FOX
Probationary periods are great. I had to fire 4 or 5 people at my last job (over 2 years) and failing your probationary period was an entirely predetermined routine where I write up their final (unsatisfactory) performance review and include a recommendation of termination, then HR handles the rest. I go get a coffee while they come and pack up their poo poo with security watching over.


So yea protip implement an objective, review based probationary period and it's very easy process-wise to fire underperformers. It's not a surprise to anyone either since their midterm evaluations wouldn't be exactly glowing, and they get concrete feedback on what needs to improve, or else.

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Zo
Feb 22, 2005

LIKE A FOX

Blackjack2000 posted:

No one else has a life that they need to manage. Only her.

Maybe she was killing hitlers every morning. Are you some kind of hitler lover you jew hater? Let the woman come in late.

Zo
Feb 22, 2005

LIKE A FOX

Ultimate Mango posted:

I may have more firing stories if this thread is interested. I have seen so many things go so badly firing wise.

I'm interested, and this thread could just be a general funny firing stories thread.


My most memorable firing was a guy who consistently underperformed, writing on the wall, had several unsatisfactory performance evaluations etc. I submitted to HR the decision to terminate him in early december, but HR dragged their feet for a month. He ended up going home to hong kong for new years and, when returning, brought his wife to join him abroad (he had been working for a few months by this time). Fired with immediate effect on his first day back.

A coworker who also went to hong kong for new years saw him at the airport with his wife when coming back, having a tearful farewell with a ton of family members.

It was a short farewell at least (since he lost his visa status upon being fired)

Zo
Feb 22, 2005

LIKE A FOX
Usually those no dating rules are just there so that IF a big drama bomb explodes and gets dragged into the office, the company can just fire everyone involved. They are not enforced against reasonable adults for obvious reasons.

This happened at my last job. Guy and girl hook up, girl's boyfriend overseas is spying on her facebook and finds out, calls and harasses the company, who decided to just drop them immediately.

Lots of other people date, breakup etc with no repercussion.

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