I, Butthole posted:

man, you need to stop linking that Chucky video, it's old now

Songbearer posted:

Sweat dripped down Jimby's brow as he eased his fingers off the keyboard. Before him lay the shattered, ruined cranium of yet another victim, body still warm. He could feel the tension in his body gradually siphoning away. He had done it. Yet another victim claimed.

Feeling a satisfaction that verged on arousal, he allowed his tongue to trace the edges of his encrusted lips, gathering the residual Dorito dust that provided him with sustenance throughout the ordeal. The one true snack of a professional videogamer had bestowed upon him the focus needed to deliver the one death-blow that could finally spell his way out of the hell that he called his waking life! This was finally his big break!

For years he had watched the big leagues on Youtube, endless nights and early mornings punctuated by the steady glow of his monitor, a portal into a world he found to be - infuriatingly - beyond his reach. Millions of headshots claimed by nobodies who, against all odds, somehow had hundreds of subscribers! They were earning money, a keep, something to give to their grandchildren... Hell, they could get Doritos FOR FREE.

He needed this. This was his out. He had a talent when it came to cranial devastation, and by god he wanted the world to know.

So every night he trained. He started small, sniping in Bad Company with the other wookies on the hill. 2fort was a paradise for him: Those beginner bots didn't know what hit 'em! Even when he was away from his machines he would watch people as they went about their daily lives. He wondered how everyone would react if he had a gun right there and then and just... took the shot. Would they be frightened? Would they applaud? All he knew is that he would have hundreds of viewers, and there'd be nothing they could do about it.

And so headshots became his obsession. Every degree he span he felt himself become giddy. Whenever that autoaim finally clicked and targeted the poor bastard's oblongata, he felt a chill of exhilaration run down his spine. He could see the money now, piling up in 0.06c piles by his desk. He had the skills, but what he needed was an audience...

Stux posted:

kewpuh can you just mod challenge this poo poo or something cmon man. mod challenge. mod challenge. mod challenge. mod challenge.

Kewpuh posted:

mod challenges are gay

Songbearer posted:

Sweat dripped down Jimby's brow as he eased his fingers off the keyboard. Before him lay the shattered, ruined cranium of yet another victim, body still warm. He could feel the tension in his body gradually siphoning away. He had done it. Yet another victim claimed.

Feeling a satisfaction that verged on arousal, he allowed his tongue to trace the edges of his encrusted lips, gathering the residual Dorito dust that provided him with sustenance throughout the ordeal. The one true snack of a professional videogamer had bestowed upon him the focus needed to deliver the one death-blow that could finally spell his way out of the hell that he called his waking life! This was finally his big break!

For years he had watched the big leagues on Youtube, endless nights and early mornings punctuated by the steady glow of his monitor, a portal into a world he found to be - infuriatingly - beyond his reach. Millions of headshots claimed by nobodies who, against all odds, somehow had hundreds of subscribers! They were earning money, a keep, something to give to their grandchildren... Hell, they could get Doritos FOR FREE.

He needed this. This was his out. He had a talent when it came to cranial devastation, and by god he wanted the world to know.

So every night he trained. He started small, sniping in Bad Company with the other wookies on the hill. 2fort was a paradise for him: Those beginner bots didn't know what hit 'em! Even when he was away from his machines he would watch people as they went about their daily lives. He wondered how everyone would react if he had a gun right there and then and just... took the shot. Would they be frightened? Would they applaud? All he knew is that he would have hundreds of viewers, and there'd be nothing they could do about it.

And so headshots became his obsession. Every degree he span he felt himself become giddy. Whenever that autoaim finally clicked and targeted the poor bastard's oblongata, he felt a chill of exhilaration run down his spine. He could see the money now, piling up in 0.06c piles by his desk. He had the skills, but what he needed was an audience...

Kewpuh posted:

i got av'd

Kewpuh posted:

stux stop getting on my nerves

Eonwe posted:

i will change it the second I see it

Eonwe posted:

how long do you usually keep avs that are bought for you?

I try to give people some mileage for the money they spend on me

Stux posted:

kewpuh if i can buy myself a chie avatar and not have it changed i will stop getting on your nerves on purpose at the very least

Kewpuh posted:

i usually give them about a week because someone paid money for it and gently caress robbing people of their money


whatever avatar you choose will have retard cartman face features put over it

Eonwe posted:

which one would you be stux

Jimby posted:

Holy cow! This was amazing! Great story telling. I think you have a future in video game interpretation novels! Hopefully it takes off and you can move out of your parents basement and into an apartment! Best of luck.

Stux posted:

haha this kid is getting so owned. oh man he just posted another troll face and/or meme this is epic...! What a Meltdown dot txt amirite

Pound_Coin posted:

How are you not getting that everyone here is laughing AT you and not with you?

Stux posted:

kewpuh this could be us but u clownin

Kewpuh posted:

dibs on carl weathers

virtualboyCOLOR posted:

Kewpuh posted:

i usually give them about a week because someone paid money for it and gently caress robbing people of their money

CharlestonJew posted:

you already robbed this man of dozens of youtube views, that's like 8 cents right there

Jimby posted:

Then why are my links being changed to Child's Play whenever I edit it? I should be able to upload links to this forum with no problem. Instead I'm being "trolled" on a website I pay for. Awesome.

gnarlyhotep posted:

This is an outrage

Songbearer posted:

Gamestalk whatever happened to groinshots. Why did groinshots not also become a thing? They were big in FPS games for a while.

Sniper series
Bulletstorm
Stranglehold
Saints Row 2/3/4

All of these had glorious nadger-knackering ball-istics and they were more fun than your plain old headshot but they never took off