[APPLE] crAPPLE EVENT MARCH 9TH MEGATHREAD [OFFICIAL]

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > [APPLE] crAPPLE EVENT MARCH 9TH MEGATHREAD [OFFICIAL]

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Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

im going to make this the [OFFICIAL] thread for the event. I will sticky it and change the title on event day. any objections?

# ¿ Feb 27, 2015 07:11

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 17:31

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

okay. stickied

# ¿ Feb 27, 2015 07:14

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

echinopsis posted:

pleasure kevin pleased this technology being added into new iphone
http://hiddenlolcdn.com/i/27306.gif
nws

lol

# ¿ Feb 28, 2015 22:42

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

tools not toys faggots

http://www.goldgenie.com/us/gold-blackberry-emperor.php

# ¿ Mar 3, 2015 02:15

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

triple sulk posted:

i will eat a ban if cremnob is probated for a month

# ¿ Mar 7, 2015 08:41

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

hard to believe i had to suffer through this thread for my duties to this forum. unreal. anyways. i like the watch repair channel

https://www.youtube.com/user/jewldood

# ¿ Mar 7, 2015 08:47

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

poty posted:

dont worry the yospos tradition where i post the years best op in a thread just for the keynote is coming

mornday

actually this is the official thread and im going to gas your immediatly.

# ¿ Mar 7, 2015 19:06

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

triple sulk posted:

it's worth the ten dollars to not see cremnob post. he is somehow a worse poster than i am.

Your posting is fine

# ¿ Mar 7, 2015 19:42

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

Beeftweeter posted:

this should just be a pregame thread anyway imo nobodys going to want to wade through like 25 pages or whatever when the thing actually starts

actually all apple event related posts will go itt and i will gas all subsequent iterations of this thread until the event is over

# ¿ Mar 9, 2015 06:54

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

poty is welcome to post his "great op" (actually it loving sucks just like his posting career) ITT tomorrow morning to kick it off. i will edit a link to his post into the OP

# ¿ Mar 9, 2015 06:55

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

poty is a tremendous fag + loser and i relish his suffering

# ¿ Mar 9, 2015 06:57

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

poty posted:

what time is it?

quote:
I know, because we measure; nor can we measure things that are not; and things past and future are not.

But how do we measure present time, since it hath not space? It is measured while it passeth; but when it shall have passed, it is not measured; for there will not be aught that can be measured.

In what space, then, do we measure passing time?

Is it in the future, whence it passeth over? But what yet we measure not, is not. Or is it in the present, by which it passeth? But no space, we do not measure. Or in the past, whither it passeth? But that which is not now, we measure not.

that might have been true in the year 32 or whenever the gently caress this was written but now the answer is: we measure passing time in switzerland

switzerland is the wealthiest country per capita in the world. it has the pointiest mountains in the alps. the most competitive economy. their army has the most crap tools on their knives. and it all rides on the back of one thing: the finest timepieces known to man

poty posted:

switzerland the day before the apple watch

but on september 9 2014 tim cook got on stage and announced:

"switzerland. is. hosed."

after nokia and finland apple has a new victim in their sights. something smells rotten in switzerland and its not their cheese.

switzerland the day after

today the swiss will gather in their mandatory nuclear war shelters to learn about something no bunker will protect them from: the apple watch. how many are we allowed to buy? how many X is apple gold better than normal gold? which would have been steves favorite watch? etc

take into account dst in the us the keynote is an hour earlier than usual for the rest of the world

# ¿ Mar 9, 2015 17:49

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

hmm

# ¿ Mar 9, 2015 19:47

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

pre:

maniacdevnull	74
cremnob		68
infernal machines	54
Beast of Bourbon	53
Dirk Pitt	49
PleasureKevin	49
triple sulk	47
poty	46
BiohazrD	44
qirex	42
Stymie	40
LP0 ON FIRE	40
Pinterest Mom	39
Binary Badger	39
theadder	38
theflyingexecutive	38
haveblue	36
echinopsis	32
Beeftweeter	31
Sniep	31
Ben Grahams Ghost	31
Santas Ainol Elf	29
Fabricated	28
graph	27
BeOSPOS	26
Tusen Takk	25
Blue Train	25
Ripoff	24
A Wheezy Steampunk	19
Logikv9	18
HAIL eSATA-n	18
The Management	16
yard salad	16
Dr. Phildo	15
Smythe	13
uncurable mlady	13
Wild EEPROM	12
Polo-Rican	11
Endless Mike	11
Metrication	11
Snapchat A Titty	10
Last Chance	10
Tiny Bug Child	10
bobbilljim	9
GATOS Y VATOS	9
Locker Room Zubaz	9
Linguica	9
horse mans	9
THC	9
Rahu	9
Just-In-Timeberlake	8
Dolomite	8
trilljester	8
carry on then	8
Pissflaps	8
emoji	7
Busta Chimes.wav	7
Puppy Galaxy	7
Hasters	7
Dislike button	6
Flyndre	6
pram	6
prefect	6
crap nerd	6
ultramiraculous	6
Peanut and the Gang	6
FMguru	6
Mathhole	6
Silver Alicorn	5
Literally The Worst	5
Shifty Pony	5
Vintersorg	5
Elder Postsman	5
DimpledChad	5
wesley snypes	4
BangersInMyKnickers	4
computer parts	4
Nayato	3
Ocrassus	3
My Linux Rig	3
Cocoa Crispies	3
Zeluth	3
zen death robot	3
uninterrupted	3
vodkat	3
hobbesmaster	3
eric	3
Squeezy Farm	3
DaNzA	3
ProSlayer	3
overdesigned	3
KidVanguard	2
Father Jack	2
double dip	2
NoneMoreNegative	2
Scott Forstall	2
Maximum Leader	2
Athletic Footjob	2
H5N1	2
sonatinas	2

my cremnob honeypot...

68 posts in the apple event thread
2 hour probe per post
136 hours
5.6 days
round to nearest valid probe duration
7 day probe

# ¿ Mar 9, 2015 19:51

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

i like the new macbook. wish it was cheaper tho lol w/ those gimped as hell specs. idk

# ¿ Mar 9, 2015 23:44

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

gonna b a good time 2 buy a refurb air

# ¿ Mar 9, 2015 23:47

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

Perplx posted:

the macbook can drive a 4k display somehow, but the much faster air can still only do 2560x1600

i have a sneaking suspicion its gonna lag like a dog. just like my last macbook - the plastic whitebook. my favorite laptop ever, despite crashing constantly and being slower than your moms "dash" to the salad bar.

# ¿ Mar 9, 2015 23:55

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

this thread is just gettin good!!

# ¿ Mar 10, 2015 01:25

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

Pissflaps posted:

close the games thread

gently caress off

# ¿ Mar 10, 2015 01:29

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

pwned bitch

# ¿ Mar 10, 2015 01:32

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

bobbilljim posted:

wtf is this

# ¿ Mar 10, 2015 01:50

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

would be cool to replace all ports on all things with usb-c tho i guess. what if all plugs were same? cool.

# ¿ Mar 10, 2015 01:59

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

ive gone ahead and reopened this fail thread so the Apple Zealots ITF can continue to make really bad posts ITT for my schadenfreude-ic amusement

# ¿ Mar 10, 2015 02:42

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

infernal machines posted:

there's only like one guy defending it now, and his heart's not really in it.

you probed pissflaps and cremnob hosed off after getting flamed out of yet another thread

theyll come back

# ¿ Mar 10, 2015 02:54

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

Elder Postsman posted:

I think apple has proven with the New MacBook and with the Lightning connector that using a single "smart plug" is a viable option with today's technology.

we live in very exciting times my friend

ya but only apple things had lightning. i have a lot of non apple things and i dont just mean like at home. like in the booth there are 999999999999999999999999 kinds of cables. i dont mean special ones like we got a lot of xlr or 1/4" but like firewire and poo poo. what a fail.

# ¿ Mar 10, 2015 03:26

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

USB ftw is what im saying i guess

# ¿ Mar 10, 2015 03:26

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

i did cross country

# ¿ Mar 10, 2015 04:22

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

good rthing my cock is too smal to come out of those little shorts. but u ever get a boner in those little shorts? bad news

# ¿ Mar 10, 2015 04:23

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

i remember there was this girl withthie big boobs that would bounce up and and down and lot while she ran and ude wanna look kuz well u wanna look but then u remember ur wearingthese tiny little blue short shorts and its liek baseball baseball baseball baseball baseball baseball baseball baseball

# ¿ Mar 10, 2015 04:23

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

everbody got a small dick compared to ww2 normandie beach grandpa

# ¿ Mar 10, 2015 04:24

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

the problem with proprietary connectors is that they're proprietary. there is all sorts of esoteric pro gear that is spend huge dollars on that will never a lightning cable due it being proprietary despite it having good specs. thats why im kinda stoked about usb-c

# ¿ Mar 10, 2015 04:28

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

upon rereading that post i c there a lot of missing prepositions and poo poo due dual 40oz of malt liquor ingest but w/e

# ¿ Mar 10, 2015 04:29

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

i mean i understand that lightning is a good cable that has great specs. good transfer rate, reversible, idk other cable things. data integrity? idk man. but one thing i DO know is ALL proprietary cables are doomed to failure, backwards, and bad. period.

# ¿ Mar 10, 2015 04:37

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

cables should ALL be as totally AGNOSTIC as possible

# ¿ Mar 10, 2015 04:38

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

pram posted:

cables wants to be free

yes. YES!

# ¿ Mar 10, 2015 04:42

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

duTrieux. posted:

real morse code or apple morse code

# ¿ Mar 10, 2015 04:54

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

dutriex or w.e is rly smart dam,n

# ¿ Mar 10, 2015 04:55

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

triple sulk posted:

supposedly the new xeons came out? it would be cool as heck if they did a silent update of the mac pros

mac pro is deprecated

# ¿ Mar 10, 2015 05:08

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

pram posted:

teen boner chat. post your pro-est mitigation strats. mine was put hand in pocket to dampen bulge

mine was to get the poo poo beat out of me by alpha males with affinities for computer science. call up the memory of being foces to suck prgrammer cock will crush any wood - even Microwaves Mom

# ¿ Mar 10, 2015 05:16

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 17:31

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

bobbilljim posted:

tuck it into ur belt, duh

my cocks not big enough to get into my belt QQ

# ¿ Mar 10, 2015 05:20

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > [APPLE] crAPPLE EVENT MARCH 9TH MEGATHREAD [OFFICIAL]

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