Cream-of-Plenty posted:

Bill Clinton somehow convinced Congress to give him close to $50 million dollars for personal discretionary funds, which he then used to finance the research (and subsequent development of) detachable dicks. It's rumored that Mr. Clinton volunteered to be the first recipient of a detachable dick, and that the dick did something to him...that it...changed...Mr. Clinton on a fundamental level. Mr. Clinton was known to sneak around the White House and spent hours hiding from nobody in particular; furthermore, he kept a journal of his "thoughts", but it was later revealed that the journal was just page after page of (you guessed it) drawings of dicks. Mr. Clinton would later go on to say that the drawings were his ideas for new types of detachable dicks, i.e. "future dicks". But many found the cryptic drawings to be something more sinister. Here was a picture of a pudgy, bald, bespectacled dick; here was a picture of two dicks flying into two towers; here was a dick standing on a pile of other dicks. Mr. Clinton has never explained these drawings.