Army Thread - These people already don't give a fuck about me

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > Army Thread - These people already don't give a fuck about me

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Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

ETS'd one year ago today. :toot:

# ¿ Mar 1, 2015 19:45

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# ¿ May 20, 2024 23:41

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Just wait until they find out how much fuel the Army pisses away every day! :monocle:

# ¿ Mar 1, 2015 22:07

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Zeris posted:

As a former commissioned officer in the united states army I would just like to say I'm gay

# ¿ Mar 2, 2015 14:41

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

ahahahaha

# ¿ Mar 8, 2015 01:37

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Still a POG

# ¿ Mar 12, 2015 19:37

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

army.txt

# ¿ Mar 16, 2015 22:43

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Well, you really can't cut any deeper than neck-stabbing a lady and then oval office-stabbing her underage daughter. :shrug:

# ¿ Mar 16, 2015 23:57

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

psydude posted:

Something about the area around Allentown. I went to college with a dude who got sent to prison for statutory rape of a 15 year old and providing alcohol to minors. . . in Allentown.

Something about the Army as a whole. Pretty sure I already posted about this guy, but there was a dude in my unit who got nailed for blackmailing underage girls in sending him naughty videos both while deployed and stateside, among a few other things. His ETS was towards the end of our Afghanistan deployment, so he went home early, and as soon as he stepped off the plane he was in cuffs. He was a really creepy fucker.

# ¿ Mar 17, 2015 01:05

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

# ¿ Mar 17, 2015 01:22

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Cole posted:

Isn't there some kind of regulation that says you get 24 months in garrison before you deploy again?

A friend of mine just got to Hawaii and his unit is set to deploy to some wacky places like Indonesia, and he just got back from Afghanistan in like... November. Apparently they are that unit that is on worldwide call or some bullshit. I don't know how that works.

For Afghanistan, if he was deployed for at least 12 months, he will have at least 12 months dwell time. Guidance as per the Individual Dwell Time policy specified in ALARACT 253/2007 para. 3c(1) is that he cannot be deployed again within 12 months unless waived by the first general officer in his CoC (para. 4b).

para 3c Specific Guidance posted:

(1) DWELL TIME FOR COMBAT AND OPERATIONAL DEPLOYMENTS OF 12 MONTHS OR LONGER IS AT LEAST 12 MONTHS. DWELL TIME BEGINS TO ACCUMULATE ON THE DAY THE SOLDIER RETURNS TO HOME STATION. SOLDIER CANNOT BE REDEPLOYED WITHIN 12 MONTHS WITHOUT A WRITTEN GO WAIVER (AS OUTLINED IN PARA 4.B. BELOW). COMPLETION OF 12 MONTHS DWELL TIME WILL NOT BE THE SOLE REASON FOR REPETITIVE DEPLOYMENT. (EXAMPLE: SOLDIER DEPLOYED FOR 15 CONSECUTIVE MONTHS ACCRUES 12 MONTHS OF INDIVIDUAL DWELL TIME; SOLDIER WILL BE AFFORDED MORE THAN 12 MONTHS AT HOME STATION PRIOR TO THE NEXT DEPLOYMENT WHENEVER POSSIBLE.)

para 4a(1) Unit Dwell posted:

(B) SOLDIERS ASSIGNED TO A UNIT WHOSE INDIVIDUAL DWELL TIME IS LESS THAN THE ADJUSTED UNIT DWELL TIME AS APPROVED BY THE SECDEF WILL NOT DEPLOY WITH THE UNIT UNLESS A WRITTEN WAIVER IS GRANTED BY THE FIRST GENERAL OFFICER IN THE CHAIN OF COMMAND, AS OUTLINED IN PARAGRAPH 4.B. BELOW.

para 4b Individual Dwell posted:

(1) THE FIRST GENERAL OFFICER IN THE SOLDIER'S CHAIN OF COMMAND IS THE APPROVAL AUTHORITY FOR INDIVIDUAL DWELL TIME WAIVERS (VOLUNTARY AND INVOLUNTARY) TO MEET CRITICAL OPERATIONAL REQUIREMENTS. UNITS WILL DEVELOP AND IMPLEMENT INDIVIDUAL WAIVER PROCEDURES AND REPORT THE NUMBER OF VOLUNTARY AND INVOLUNTARY WRITTEN WAIVERS AS SPECIFIED IN PARAGRAPH 5.C.

(2) THIS AUTHORITY WILL NOT BE FURTHER DELEGATED.

Naked Bear fucked around with this message at 21:45 on Mar 22, 2015

# ¿ Mar 22, 2015 21:35

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Yep.

# ¿ Mar 23, 2015 00:17

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Good. gently caress that piece of poo poo.

# ¿ Mar 25, 2015 21:45

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

I hear that if you shoot the moon and receive a reprimand from everyone in your CoC up to the first GO you get an automatic promotion to O3 and you get to bang the post commander's wife.

e: have to be separate incidents, tho

# ¿ Mar 27, 2015 01:42

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

That's the last one you have to get :ssh:

# ¿ Mar 27, 2015 02:06

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

White Chocolate posted:

In OCS we don't even qualify or touch live ammo except for blanks and artillery sims...

uh

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hearts#Shooting_the_moon

# ¿ Mar 27, 2015 18:26

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Depends largely on how motivated your unit is to get you gone.

# ¿ Mar 28, 2015 00:24

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

I got a boatload of poo poo in the first few weeks after I got out, but that's enlisted. I would just call up HRC and ask what's up.

# ¿ Mar 28, 2015 00:36

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Hail Satan.

# ¿ Mar 30, 2015 03:22

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Cole posted:

hey buddy, when we were in afghanland we boarded a chinook and it took off and landed and we walked off that chinook and we called it an air assault mission

Yeah, but did you drive a Gator off the back of that Chinook? :smug:

# ¿ Mar 30, 2015 18:47

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Zeris posted:

But did you watch your buddy's Apache guntape footage of the gator lose traction and fall down the mountain

# ¿ Mar 30, 2015 19:13

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

I'll bet he just charmed the pants right off the lot of 'em.

# ¿ Mar 31, 2015 03:41

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Icon Of Sin posted:

April fools!

I really thought that's what this was gonna be.

# ¿ Apr 1, 2015 23:40

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Whipped Buttcheeks posted:

Army Stupid!

# ¿ Apr 3, 2015 03:17

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Kiryen posted:

no sane unit

lol

# ¿ Apr 3, 2015 21:50

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

I never said any kind of creed or anything when I went to the board. :confused:

Kind of a letdown, really, after all the time I spent shouting at the wall.

# ¿ Apr 6, 2015 01:36

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Nostalgia4Murder posted:

Did you practice knocking on the door?

EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND KNOCK THREE TIMES LOUDLY ON THE DOOR. ITS THE SQUADRON CONFERENCE ROOM AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES LIKE MY PLATOON SERGEANT TOLD ME TO. I DO EVERY MOVE AND I DO EVERY MOVE HARD. MAKIN WHOOSHING SOUNDS WHEN I SLAM DOWN MY BOOTS OR EVEN WHEN I MESS UP TECHNIQUE. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY BECAME A NONCOMMISSIONED OFFICER. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUTLOUD EVERYDAY TO PEOPLE IN MY COLLEGE CLASS AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE PEOPLE IN COLLEGE CLASS CAN STILL BE IMMATURE JERKS. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE ORDERS AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY APARTMENT LESS LONELY BY SHOUTING EM ALL. 2 HOURS INCLUDING WIND DOWN EVERY MORNING. THEN I LIFT

# ¿ Apr 6, 2015 02:25

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

suicide bi cop posted:

JBLM vs Ft Irwin, 68W, only for ~6 months then im out, what do

JBLM

# ¿ Apr 6, 2015 16:47

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Full Battle Rattle posted:

This was my favorite boot when I was in.

gently caress yes. Still have a pair, still comfy as gently caress.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2015 02:49

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Bell_ posted:

Before you pick your boot, it might be worth double checking whether your chain of command has a bug up their rear end when it comes to your footware, otherwise see if whatever you buy is compliant to the 670-1 they updated last year. (Just so you don't have to buy another pair of boots. Inprocessing at Carson I heard try-hards bitching about Nike

Adding to this; while the Nikes are awesome, the original design doesn't comply with 670-1. However, there is a now a version that does comply, so if you decide on Nikes, make sure you get that one.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2015 20:51

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Painsaw posted:

If all this dumb garrison bullshit just vanished tomorrow, what would we do with all this free time?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jjiWS__Mp0

# ¿ Apr 17, 2015 20:22

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

It's good to be out.

# ¿ Apr 17, 2015 22:52

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Wait, he wasn't??

# ¿ Apr 24, 2015 03:17

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

krispykremessuck posted:

she's from fuckin yelm

# ¿ Apr 25, 2015 19:36

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Cole posted:

i'm out of the mil so i think your question about two bowls of poo poo is stupid

# ¿ Apr 27, 2015 22:17

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

When are they gonna realize that they should just make all of the uniforms flame-retardant? This would have been the perfect time to do it. Stop fielding non-flame-retardant uniforms, ffs.

# ¿ May 1, 2015 14:11

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

NTT posted:

I kind of want to show up to drill the first month new uniforms are available to stand out and piss people off

Somebody spiked your drink, dude.

# ¿ May 1, 2015 18:49

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

FOURTH WAVE LESBRO posted:

I had a fun time explaining that to my roommate as I was helping him clean his TA-50 and do CIF turn-in. The look on his face was absolutely priceless.

Pro-tip: take your TA-50 to the self-serve car wash on post.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=881jWDMzHII

Worked pretty well for me, and nothing got kicked back. vv

Naked Bear fucked around with this message at 00:35 on May 3, 2015

# ¿ May 3, 2015 00:27

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Multicam has the same wear-out date as the regular ACUs, late 2018.

# ¿ May 3, 2015 19:27

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Put porn on. Load up some really high-def poo poo, turn up the volume, and time it so that as soon as you throw open the door and yell "at ease!" all they can see is a closeup of some chick getting her brains hosed out. Works every time.

You can cheat the timing thing by just looping your segment of choice over and over. :ssh:

Naked Bear fucked around with this message at 20:35 on May 4, 2015

# ¿ May 4, 2015 20:33

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# ¿ May 20, 2024 23:41

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Icon Of Sin posted:

Find the video where 3 dudes dressed up like pterodactyls are all railing the same girl at once. That's probably one of the funniest videos (porn or not) that I've ever seen, and you can thank a weird navy guy I knew for showing it off to everyone in our tent. He's the reason I know about fart-fetish porn, too

This is fantastic.

# ¿ May 4, 2015 20:45

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > Army Thread - These people already don't give a fuck about me

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