Army Thread - These people already don't give a fuck about me - The Something Awful Forums

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The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > Army Thread - These people already don't give a fuck about me

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

I knew a doctor that was forced to go through ACAP. She sat through the first day while everyone detailed their plans to become cops/construction workers back in whatever podunk town they came from, then told the ACAP lady she wasn't coming back. The good (incredibly cranky) doctor had to explain to several levels of ACAP and command that, as a board certified ER physician, she had been headhunted more or less since she graduated med school, had already been officially hired on at a hospital nearby the house she had just bought, and so was unlikely to gain much from sitting through a week long class about remembering to take your loving dip out before going into a goddamn job interview.

ACAP: OK concept, Army execution.

# ¿ Mar 5, 2015 02:25

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# ¿ May 17, 2024 19:05

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

Cole posted:

And then when it happens again, they will require everyone to be in full kit while marching in formation with a PT belt.

If I ever accidentally nail some ~~rear end in a top hat running in the loving dark~~ poor bastard with my car, the very first thing I'm doing is throwing their pt belt into the bushes.

Any opinions on safety management degrees? Seems like there's a fair few jobs in that field.

# ¿ Mar 6, 2015 23:02

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

psydude posted:

Are you talking like emergency management, or safety compliance management for industry and manufacturing? In the compliance field, getting your ISO 9001 certification matters more than anything else.

Compliance for sure, I'm pretty well done with phone calls at 2 in the morning. As long as OSHA and litigation are things, I figure those positions aren't going anywhere, and they generally pay well enough. ISO 9001, thanks for the pointer, I'll look into that.

E: Oh my God.

E2: Still better than army by several orders of magnitude.

Suntan Boy fucked around with this message at 23:56 on Mar 6, 2015

# ¿ Mar 6, 2015 23:43

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

I watched a guy in PTs ride a unicycle to work this morning. The army is a literal sideshow.

# ¿ Mar 9, 2015 16:44

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

If the army can take something as simple and fun as shooting guns at a range, and turn it into the godawful boring clusterfuck that it typically is, it can sure as hell gently caress up a good idea like the WTU.

I mean, it's super lovely, but I'm not surprised.

# ¿ Mar 13, 2015 09:43

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

This unit is the only one I've ever been in that does it mostly right. Accountability, gently caress off for a while, roll up to the range in your POV, grab rifle/pistol and ammo, zero, shoot, put rifle back, go home. Dudes on the range detail handle everything else. Still boring, but at least largely painless.

# ¿ Mar 13, 2015 18:34

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

Fort Irwin is pretty bad. Tiny base run by the cav with a tradoc workload, and so far from anything it might as well be on the moon. They didn't even have the decency to put it in Nevada, so it gets California gun laws to boot.

# ¿ Mar 18, 2015 03:19

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

White Chocolate posted:

I thought my unit was the black sheep of the Army but it just goes to show that all you fuckers appear to have it worse. Fuel for the win.

Fucitol posted:

the real answer is every unit and post is the worst for their own reasons

# ¿ Mar 18, 2015 05:30

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

Third goddamn anniversary watching units bumblefuck through NTC, time to get shitfaced. How the Christ did we ever come out on top in a war?

Also every day is Man Love Thursday in the desert, you guys are totally missing out.

# ¿ Mar 21, 2015 04:01

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

LeoMarr posted:

2 of my friends are currently at NTC bumbling about. is 1st ID rolling through there at the moment?

Yup. Skipping the trainup means they're probably going to get their poo poo pushed in, but they're miles ahead of Worst Cav so far. It's still pretty early in the game, though, plenty of time to drive bradleys into ditches still. I've got a friend out there, too, kinda hoping he doesn't get smushed napping under a tank or something.

# ¿ Mar 22, 2015 19:51

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

all apologies posted:

there are worse cards to get dealt tho...

"His rape cock may be the size of a Buick, but at least he lubed up"

# ¿ Mar 23, 2015 08:41

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

Aranan posted:

Does a dec statement follow you around in post-military jobs? Like looking for a job in one of the acronym governmental organizations after ETSing. I'm just curious about this because I've heard a few different things.

The only things that matter about your mil time are what's on your dd214, whatever certs that haven't expired, and your felony record. Everything else might as well have been dumped into a black hole.

# ¿ Mar 24, 2015 23:51

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

NTT posted:

i worked out so i could be sexy for my girl and now i'm gonna go shower and have a shower beer

that's my story thanks

I did this, but with scotch. And I sat on my rear end all day.

Your story is better, more action packed.

# ¿ Mar 25, 2015 05:00

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

McNally posted:

They said that about Chandler when he got rid of the beret. Mark my words, Dailey will get to be the bearer of some retardery before too long. Something like "soldiers on leave will be required to telephone their command once every three hours, no exceptions."

I remember being deployed when that came out. I dug that gray greasy abomination out of the bottom of my bag and threw it into the poo poo/diesel mix and watched it burn. Can't imagine what that poor bastard PFC must've thought.

And yeah, every SMA ever has had some fuckdumb retardation to add to the pile. My guess is bringing back black boots under the guise of "professionalism" and "discipline".

# ¿ Apr 2, 2015 20:34

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

Whipped Buttcheeks posted:

# ¿ Apr 3, 2015 06:14

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

Trying to explain vaguely technical things to wilfully ignorant decision makers has definitely been the most rewarding part of my career.

Rewarding in that I can drink way more than I used to, and care way less.

# ¿ Apr 3, 2015 22:02

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

suicide bi cop posted:

JBLM vs Ft Irwin, 68W, only for ~6 months then im out, what do

Lewis what are you loving retarded

# ¿ Apr 6, 2015 18:22

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

suicide bi cop posted:

JBLM vs Ft Irwin, 68W, only for ~6 months then im out, what do

Quoting this again to say that if you wind up at this blasted wasteland over arguably the nicest base the army has to offer, I will oval office punt you across space and time to your ets date.

# ¿ Apr 8, 2015 06:54

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

Androies posted:

http://uspatriottactical.com/belleville-one-xero-ultra-light-assault-boot-320-620/

These are actually really solid. Feel like you're wearing slippers with a combat boot sole, and they're bellevilles so they'll last forever whether you like them or not. They run a bit narrow so try the wide size out. They actually sell these at clothing and sales so you can try them out there.

I have these, and liked them more than the nikes when I replaced the insole with the Dr Scholls gel things. Hold up forever, lightweight, vomit-resistant, and comfortable all drat day, no sitting required. The pair I use now have lasted through 5 years of army bullshit and a deployment.

Suntan Boy fucked around with this message at 05:02 on Apr 15, 2015

# ¿ Apr 15, 2015 04:58

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

Today I learned from an incredibly useless person that an incredibly useless reg exists, and was recently updated! Here's a sample:

AR 600-63, para 7-3 posted:

d. Health care personnel will not use any tobacco products during the duty day or while in uniform. Moreover, in addition to the prohibitions contained in paragraph 7–3a above, use of tobacco products is prohibited on or within medical campuses as established in this regulation.
e. Installation commanders and medical activity commanders will cooperate to establish and enforce tobacco free medical campuses (TFMCs) that include:
(1) Any property or non-residential building that is operated, maintained or assigned to support medical activities, including but not limited to hospitals, medical laboratories, outpatient clinics (including medical, dental, and veterinary facilities), or aid stations operating for the primary purpose of delivering medical care and services for DOD eligible beneficiaries and /or meeting the mission of the Army Medical Command.
(2) All other facilities in which medical activities or administration take place.
(3) All internal roadways, sidewalks and parking lots.
(4) All sidewalks, parking lots and grounds external but adjacent to the building or related to the migratory corridors surrounding the medical facility.

Mother fucker.

# ¿ Apr 19, 2015 21:04

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

Ptolemaeus posted:

It just makes me laugh at the poor foresight that goes into military regulations as usual, because technically only one internal road runs across the base that connects to our building and the TMC, as well as only two parking lots both connected for most of the base. Essentially, this regulation would ban smoking on 80% of our base, and all the joes can no longer dip/smoke pretty much anywhere but some grassy field used as a soccer field.

It's probably more malice than lack of foresight. The kind of person that writes up and pushes for that particular flavor of bullshit would be absolutely giddy at the prospect of loving over an entire bases' worth of smokers.

# ¿ Apr 20, 2015 21:06

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

God dammit one of my guys won soldier of the month. I mean, good on him for getting a coa in this lovely organization, he needs the points, but fuuuuuuuck. He's probably gonna kick the poo poo out of the quarter one, too.

# ¿ Apr 30, 2015 21:41

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

"The basic pair are the only ones available for the next year, are essentially clogs, and cost $600. Make sure you buy 2 pair."

# ¿ May 2, 2015 14:04

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

There is one nice old lady that runs the cif here when they're not doing mass issue/turn-in. My plan is to gently caress her stupid the day before I do my ets turn in.

# ¿ May 5, 2015 06:55

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

SumYungGui posted:

God drat did I ever time things right. In at 2008 when every fuckup with a pulse was around to keep much of the heat off me, out at 2012 before garrison fuckery infected everything, everywhere. It really is glorious to watch the implosion. More articles about this mysterious phenomenon of brain drain and talent flight to the private sector please. My schadenfreude boner can still get bigger.

We're in the middle of losing half the medical staff of an emergency department, and S1 has hosed up the TDA so bad that big army thinks we still have people that got out two years ago. No replacements are scheduled.

# ¿ May 7, 2015 02:23

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

:siren:

FP BRAVO

:siren:

"Grandpa, what did you do when the Russians attacked Maine?"
"Checked IDs in a sandy Hell no one would ever bother with. One guy even forgot his, and had to put off getting his sore throat checked for a whole 15 minutes."

# ¿ May 10, 2015 17:11

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

Standard medic loadout:
Cards
Candy
Baby wipes
Power inverter
Smokes for self
Smokes to sell
A big fuckin book

# ¿ Jun 5, 2015 05:26

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

Wasabi the J posted:

Maybe the Chinese can figure out my pay issues, then.

I'd be more worried about it if S1 hadn't lost something with my social and address on it nearly every month for 11 years.

# ¿ Jun 13, 2015 00:40

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

Wasabi the J posted:

just hoping it's that and not some weird good old boys thing where she's the same as her male counterparts, but because of she's seen as a bitch.

I've not seen it at the brigade level but I've definitely seen it at battalion.

Hospital command is funky in a lot of ways. If you come at it like a normal command, you're going to make a whole bunch of doctors decide they don't really feel like dealing with Army bullshit anymore. Even potentially costing the Army doctors tends to draw all the nut-crushing powers MEDCOM can summon, and I'm guessing she made people cranky.

# ¿ Jul 9, 2015 18:26

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

Nearly everyone I work with regularly is saying "gently caress this" and getting out sometime in the next year. All of them planned on staying in much, much longer.

I like to think I had something to do with that.

# ¿ Aug 7, 2015 20:03

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

Unless it gives you loving superpowers, it's still an army uniform and therefore poo poo.

# ¿ Aug 14, 2015 09:33

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

psydude posted:

I have no idea how you active duty guys put up with being in the garrison army full time. Heavy drinking? Stockholm syndrome? Masochism?

I just go TDY a lot. Teaching CLS to the Air Force this week! By which I mean I'm going to rush then through this powerpoint nightmare in two days, then spend the rest of the week loving off in San Francisco.

# ¿ Aug 25, 2015 08:58

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

Man, the more time I spend at NTC, the less I want to be here. Well, more so.

Not that I'd want to be doing 99.9% of the other peacetime bullshit I can think of, either. I watched somebody organizing gravel by one of the buildings earlier today.

# ¿ Sep 1, 2015 08:45

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

Anyone on the active side know anything about declining PCS orders? Specifically for mid-career enlisted within a couple years of RCP, but anything at all is helpful. My Google-fu is weak.

# ¿ Sep 2, 2015 05:55

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

Mustang posted:

Why would you ever need to have a APFT at 0330, especially for a mere 7 soldiers. Where do orders like that come from? 80 dudes takes like maybe an hour and a half tops, easily done during normal PT time, maybe forming up 30 mins early.

Retardog posted:

The big green weenie is an ouroboros, loving its own butthole forever.

In other news, branch's answer to maybe not going to Korea then being stateside for 4 months before RCP was "dec or go gently caress yourself", more or less. Decisions, decisions.

# ¿ Sep 11, 2015 07:46

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

MightyJoe36 posted:

This could probably go for any MOS

# ¿ Sep 16, 2015 13:14

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

Mike-o posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrGrOK8oZG8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Wl_uQOABxg

# ¿ Sep 19, 2015 04:14

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

Look deep inside yourself, the answer is in your ~~heart~~ pancreas or some poo poo.

E: Wait, does he have a mullet or something?

Suntan Boy fucked around with this message at 15:33 on Sep 19, 2015

# ¿ Sep 19, 2015 15:03

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

Lard Goat posted:

gently caress it

And if the guy shooting it hadn't sneezed right then, it would've been one of the other trucks. It's war, poo poo happens, sometimes it's pretty goddamn awful.

Thing is, you chased the rabbit. You chased that fucker right down the hole, and it messed with your head bad the deeper you went. When it came time to figure out how to deal with it, you picked up the pretty cup that melts your face off and chugged it. Then you got found out in a way your bros couldn't save you from, got hosed, and then kept chasing the goddamned rabbit.

Stop reading this for a second and look around you. Look at yourself in the mirror, right in the drat eyes. You don't want some war buddies to chill with and bullshit over a cup of coffee, you want someone to latch onto and offload your misery. They see it, they know what you want, and they don't want your needy drunken high as hell trainwreck extending into their lives, to their families and relationships, and they know that they can't save you from yourself.

You don't have to be where you're at right now. Go get professional help, however you have to without hurting yourself or anyone else. Stop looking to people that can't help you to make things better. The rabbit hole doesn't ever end, it just gets darker and closer until you die. It's a long, hard climb back out, but that's where the sunlight is.

Suntan Boy fucked around with this message at 12:35 on Sep 20, 2015

# ¿ Sep 20, 2015 12:32

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# ¿ May 17, 2024 19:05

Suntan Boy: May 27, 2005; Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.

Lard Goat posted:

No, gently caress you. You're an rear end in a top hat. gently caress, are you serious? You really think a sneeze, a loving sneeze, is why one of my best friends is dead?

gently caress YOU

Yes, I am. Of course I don't, and you loving know it. It was illustrating the point that death in war is totally arbitrary; none of us know when our number is up, there's nothing you or he or anyone could've done to prevent it, and no one on your patrol was at fault, including you.

Lard Goat posted:

I know what I should do, but after the way the army treated me for my drug problem, gently caress them. I literally had an army psychologist tell me to talk to my legs because I am so jittery.

I had to sleep on a chair for two months because of what I did. The other guys that deployed with me went awol or started abusing tramadol of all things.

The VA people I have talked to keep treating me like poo poo,even when I was homeless and their job was helping homeless vets.

"gently caress the Army" is something I can get behind. You need help, you know you need help, you're not in the army anymore, so you don't have to rely on them for it, so get help somewhere else. The VA varies from facility to facility, even person to person, true. The important part is that they're not the army, and you're still entitled to benefits through them. If you can, try another facility, or call a national hotline. The links a few posts up are good ones. Going to a VA ER for a psych or substance crisis is a good way to backdoor your way into a psych consult, at least. Alcoholics Anonymous is great, and often has groups just for vets.

gently caress the army is fine. Quit loving yourself because you're pissed at the organization. GET HELP.

Edit: Did you ever get your DD214? http://www.archives.gov/veterans/military-service-records/ if you can't get to your OMPF anymore.

Suntan Boy fucked around with this message at 09:38 on Sep 21, 2015

# ¿ Sep 21, 2015 09:29

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > Army Thread - These people already don't give a fuck about me

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