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Jastiger posted:Yup thats it. It is actually INSULTING to me because no one behaves that way. Literally no one without a mental deficiency, in which case we shouldn't be advertising to them in the first place, and instead, should be helping them out.    
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Mar 9, 2015 19:08
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This is art.
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Mar 9, 2015 19:45
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Didn't we have a separate thread for these things That was a good thread
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Mar 9, 2015 21:08
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This one always hits a nerve with me. If your computer did that, how exactly are they going to go to your website for you to scan it?
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Mar 9, 2015 22:25
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"cheese" rock on. "pasteurized cheese" yeah, okay. "pasteurized cheese-product" wait what? "processed American sandwich slice" ahhh!
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Mar 10, 2015 01:47
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Trick Question posted:Don't worry consumer, there's no gmos in this bag of chips! Or in these pork rinds! 80% of Americans support mandatory labels on food containing DNA.
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Mar 10, 2015 02:18
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APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD
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Mar 10, 2015 02:59
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Ogive posted:APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD In a study by a MAJOR UNIVERSITY, it been found that this cream can cure acne, eczema, rosacea, butt-ugliness, constant thoughts of George Clooney, and forehead cancer! (These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA)
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Mar 10, 2015 06:59
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Coupons. I guess I'm just bitter from all the paper cuts i got when I was a kid due to my moms insistence that saving $.05usd was worth it in the long run. Ever tried being a kid an arguing the concept of diminishing returns? Never works
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Mar 10, 2015 07:16
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5Antq9YuA0 0:54 78% of the weight lost was pure body fat? Wowwee. So what was the other 22%? Muscle? I'm no doctor, but that doesn't seem healthy.
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Mar 10, 2015 07:27
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The Endbringer posted:78% of the weight lost was pure body fat? Wowwee. So what was the other 22%? Muscle? I'm no doctor, but that doesn't seem healthy. Well, depends. If it was over a period of time, you probably WILL lose a certain amount of muscle mass from your body no longer needing to carry your fat rear end around everywhere. I'm not a dietician or anything, though, so I couldn't tell you if that's a healthy ratio, but losing muscle after losing weight isn't unrealistic. Any diet pill is gonna be super  anyway, though.
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Mar 10, 2015 08:13
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 Some kind of extremely localized vampire, apparently.
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Mar 10, 2015 09:23
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Vorenus posted:Any advertising that mostly or completely ignores any attempt at using product facts. So, ~90 of all advertising. I hate it when they use the term "real people". As opposed to what, robots, cartoons, 3 dogs in a trench coat?
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Mar 10, 2015 11:15
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Jastiger posted:Yup thats it. It is actually INSULTING to me because no one behaves that way. Literally no one without a mental deficiency, in which case we shouldn't be advertising to them in the first place, and instead, should be helping them out. you understand that these infomercials are self-parodies, right?
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Mar 10, 2015 11:19
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The Endbringer posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5Antq9YuA0 I think it's supposed to be water weight.
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Mar 10, 2015 12:35
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Jastiger posted:Yup thats it. It is actually INSULTING to me because no one behaves that way. Literally no one without a mental deficiency, in which case we shouldn't be advertising to them in the first place, and instead, should be helping them out. Not to try and feed your anger but - if you think about it, this is why things like spam email, promises of wealth if you "send us your banking info so we can deposit your MONEY" and every other similar scam still exists: because enough people fall for it to make it worthwhile. It's pure numbers. It costs effectively nothing to send email to someone. Even one click in 100,000 pays off. It all boils down to the simple fact that people want to believe. They want to believe that a better life is out there for them specifically. That everything has a shortcut - including the mysterious "a better life" - whatever THAT means-, they just simply haven't found it yet. I found a great quote the other day as I was researching an article: John Steinbeck posted:Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires. THAT is why all that poo poo still exists. They cause enough people to doubt that maybe, just maybe this will be their ticket back to millionairehood.
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Mar 10, 2015 14:20
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"Purchase our luxury version of this product!" It's loving laundry detergent. You can't make it luxury. It's loving impossible. It either makes my clothing become clean and not smell like filth or it doesn't. Oh, it's a DIFFERENT COLOR than the other brand and you ground up a pearl and threw it in? It smells like LAVENDER? Hold the phones, I'm going to pay 90 times the price of actual detergent for it now! "Everything in the store up to 90% off!" This is technically true if they mark one item down to 10%. This will probably be something they don't sell much of, nobody wants, and they have a low stock of. "9/10 dentists agree..." Ever notice that literally every dental product claims this? "This candy is a fat free food!" I know it's bad for me. I'm not buying it because it's healthy. Go to hell. "No purchase necessary. Details inside!" Die in a fire. "May reduce your risk of cancer and heart disease." According to that one guy you payed to say that, sure. Nobody I've punched in the face has died of cancer or a heart attack either. Can I market my face punches as a possible preventative measure too? "Your pet will thank you!" Well, no. My pet is incapable of speaking and is happy so long as I give it food and attention. I don't think my pets have the capacity to tell how much I spent on their food or toys and probably don't care all that much.
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Mar 10, 2015 15:17
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ToxicSlurpee posted:"9/10 dentists agree..." I want to meet Dentist #10 and hear his opinion. Also, speaking of sales, is it just me, or is everything at department stores like Kohl's always on sale, constantly? Like, to the point where things aren't technically even sale prices anymore?
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Mar 10, 2015 15:54
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Monthly payment plans. Buy a $300 TV for only $19.99/mo over 24 months! IT'S JUST LIKE SAVING $280 DOLLARS
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Mar 10, 2015 16:38
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Speaking of prices, fake "normal" prices for cheap poo poo on Amazon. I can't tell you how many times I've had to steer my mother away from stuff where the seller is claiming a "normal" price of $20, $30, even $60 for a cheapass fake leather cell phone holster that they're selling for $5-10. Fake bonuses are also a point of contention - like that one cell company that was advertising "it comes with double minutes!" as part of their pitch. Double versus what? It's literally not said anywhere in the ad, which always leads me to believe that it's "double versus what you would get if we were charging twice as much for airtime". Gabriel Pope posted:Monthly payment plans. Buy a $300 TV for only $19.99/mo over 24 months! IT'S JUST LIKE SAVING $280 DOLLARS The latest Rent-A-Center commercial I saw can sit on a cactus for this poo poo. A couple is looking at some furniture and the salesman is all "we have 24-month financing". The couple starts talking about how that's a huge payment and try to offer him $20 a week instead. Hey, look, RAC offers $20 a week payments on stuff! Maximum term: a couple weeks shy of 24 months. Final price: three times retail value, and way more than you would have paid on that 24-month financing. How is that kind of opposite of reality implication even loving legal?
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Mar 10, 2015 16:44
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When they talk to "real" people on the street or in the mall and they're all clearly (bad) actors. Also when commercials have dialog that no human being would ever say and is clearly just designed to get to the product in a super unnatural way. Radio is the worst for this and used to drive me nuts when I was a field tech.
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Mar 10, 2015 16:49
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There was a pretty interesting article on those ONE WEIRD TRICK! ads that explained everything about them. The lovely art is to draw the eyes because you're baffled by it, the ones that involve clicking your age for some reason are to attempt some interactivity to get you invested. The WEIRD TRICK thing is generally because consumers like the idea that the little guy is getting one over on the big mean business men with some super secret trick. As I recall the article writer clicked on every one of those ads who could for the report and they were all weird 20 minute long unskippable videos about herbs and cleansers that don't work. Edit: Here it is: http://www.slate.com/articles/business/moneybox/2013/07/how_one_weird_trick_conquered_the_internet_what_happens_when_you_click_on.html
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Mar 10, 2015 16:58
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Kugyou no Tenshi posted:Speaking of prices, fake "normal" prices for cheap poo poo on Amazon. I can't tell you how many times I've had to steer my mother away from stuff where the seller is claiming a "normal" price of $20, $30, even $60 for a cheapass fake leather cell phone holster that they're selling for $5-10.  that's how. FREE MARKET!!!Actually another one occurred to me while I was in the shower that might just be the worst. "It's X for women! It's exactly like X only we made it with cheaper materials, painted it pink, and double the price!" 
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Mar 10, 2015 17:11
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DVRs are the greatest invention of the last 20 years. I no longer have to watch all this stupid crap directed at braindead people.
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Mar 10, 2015 17:14
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Vorenus posted:See: 90% of car commercials, most egregiously the one where people who "aren't paid actors" my rear end talk about how this guy in front of a pickup is so sexy and the same guy in front of a sedan has no sex appeal. I thought the Chevy truck commercials about "It's built with high-strength steel! Like this submarine! Not hoity toity aluminum, like Ford!" were bad, but they managed to dig deeper and find A Truck Will Get You Pussy And A Compact Sedan Won't. poo poo, man. Guess I won't be in the market for a Sonic, Spark, Cruze, or Verano any time soon.
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Mar 10, 2015 17:34
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veedubfreak posted:DVRs are the greatest invention of the last 20 years. I no longer have to watch all this stupid crap directed at braindead people. Which is why product placement is becoming more and more obnoxious and jarring
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Mar 10, 2015 17:38
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Choco1980 posted:Also, speaking of sales, is it just me, or is everything at department stores like Kohl's always on sale, constantly? Like, to the point where things aren't technically even sale prices anymore? This is apparently a thing with clothing stores in particular. Younker's has the same issue, where pretty much everything is either on sale, or has a coupon that can be used on it. At one point, somebody in the company actually thought "Hey. Maybe we should just lower all our prices and stop spending money on ads for sales that aren't really sales." The result was an overall loss of revenue and customers complaining about there not being sales anymore.
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Mar 10, 2015 17:39
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bobtheconqueror posted:This is apparently a thing with clothing stores in particular. Younker's has the same issue, where pretty much everything is either on sale, or has a coupon that can be used on it. At one point, somebody in the company actually thought "Hey. Maybe we should just lower all our prices and stop spending money on ads for sales that aren't really sales." The result was an overall loss of revenue and customers complaining about there not being sales anymore. Read up on the JC Penny blunder. They basically tried to get rid of sales and just price everything properly and it tanked.
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Mar 10, 2015 17:54
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bobtheconqueror posted:This is apparently a thing with clothing stores in particular. Younker's has the same issue, where pretty much everything is either on sale, or has a coupon that can be used on it. At one point, somebody in the company actually thought "Hey. Maybe we should just lower all our prices and stop spending money on ads for sales that aren't really sales." The result was an overall loss of revenue and customers complaining about there not being sales anymore. It was Jc Penney that tried "honest advertising" and wound up bombing. Turns out that yes, people would rather buy a $40 top for 50% off than they would buy the same top for a sticker price of $18.
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Mar 10, 2015 17:56
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There's a store in almost every mall in Canada called Stokes that sells flatware and dishes and stuff like that, and it has been "Going out of business everything 30% off" for at least 20 years now
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Mar 10, 2015 17:57
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Phy posted:I thought the Chevy truck commercials about "It's built with high-strength steel! Like this submarine! Not hoity toity aluminum, like Ford!" were bad, but they managed to dig deeper and find A Truck Will Get You Pussy And A Compact Sedan Won't. poo poo, man. Guess I won't be in the market for a Sonic, Spark, Cruze, or Verano any time soon. The profit margins on trucks is much higher than cars. If they can convince a car buyer to buy a pickup instead then it's more money for GM.
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Mar 10, 2015 18:09
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Sugary junk food cereal part of this balanced breakfast! (shown alongside fruit, eggs, ham, and other actual healthy things) Doubly bad because they're targeting kids.
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Mar 10, 2015 18:11
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Gabriel Pope posted:It was Jc Penney that tried "honest advertising" and wound up bombing. Turns out that yes, people would rather buy a $40 top for 50% off than they would buy the same top for a sticker price of $18. This is why we can't have nice things, world.
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Mar 10, 2015 18:15
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Gabriel Pope posted:It was Jc Penney that tried "honest advertising" and wound up bombing. Turns out that yes, people would rather buy a $40 top for 50% off than they would buy the same top for a sticker price of $18. Similarly people are actually perfectly happy to horrifyingly overpay for certain products. I forget exactly what it was but apparently a liquor company once wanted to sell more booze so somebody apparently thought "hey why not triple the price and act like it's fancy?" The stupid thing was that it worked. Same poo poo, same bottle, but people assumed that because it was super expensive it was The Good poo poo and it flew off the shelves. Same thing for clothing stores; if you price it too low people won't shop there because poor clothing is what Those People buy. Doesn't matter if you can buy exactly the same shirt for 1/3 the price down the street I'm good enough to shop here.
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Mar 10, 2015 18:18
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Gabriel Pope posted:It was Jc Penney that tried "honest advertising" and wound up bombing. Turns out that yes, people would rather buy a $40 top for 50% off than they would buy the same top for a sticker price of $18. Oh snap. You're right. My bad. Had the wrong store in my head.
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Mar 10, 2015 18:19
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ToxicSlurpee posted:Similarly people are actually perfectly happy to horrifyingly overpay for certain products. I forget exactly what it was but apparently a liquor company once wanted to sell more booze so somebody apparently thought "hey why not triple the price and act like it's fancy?" The stupid thing was that it worked. Same poo poo, same bottle, but people assumed that because it was super expensive it was The Good poo poo and it flew off the shelves. Same thing for clothing stores; if you price it too low people won't shop there because poor clothing is what Those People buy. Doesn't matter if you can buy exactly the same shirt for 1/3 the price down the street I'm good enough to shop here. It's marketing 101 that if you have similar products A, B, and C and price them at $5, $10, and $15, the $10 one will be your best seller in pretty much every case. People are odd.
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Mar 10, 2015 18:36
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ToxicSlurpee posted:Similarly people are actually perfectly happy to horrifyingly overpay for certain products. I forget exactly what it was but apparently a liquor company once wanted to sell more booze so somebody apparently thought "hey why not triple the price and act like it's fancy?" The stupid thing was that it worked. Same poo poo, same bottle, but people assumed that because it was super expensive it was The Good poo poo and it flew off the shelves. Same thing for clothing stores; if you price it too low people won't shop there because poor clothing is what Those People buy. Doesn't matter if you can buy exactly the same shirt for 1/3 the price down the street I'm good enough to shop here. VW tried this a while back. They tried to go "up brand" and people didn't go for it. Advertising is tricky, but I still want to kick every single advertising exec in the crotch for talking to me like I'm a moron. There's actually quite a few products I refuse to buy simply because of their advertising tactics. Apple being one of the biggest.
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Mar 10, 2015 18:36
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veedubfreak posted:VW tried this a while back. They tried to go "up brand" and people didn't go for it. Advertising is tricky, but I still want to kick every single advertising exec in the crotch for talking to me like I'm a moron. There's actually quite a few products I refuse to buy simply because of their advertising tactics. Apple being one of the biggest. That's where it gets weird and stuff like Game Theory kicks in. Cars are a whole different class of thing in that they're expensive. $40 isn't $40,000. People are pretty dumb about smaller amounts of money. It also has to do with types of goods. Buying an expensive shirt is easier than buying an expensive car and you can justify having a mediocre car pretty easily. Dressing in rags is like, what you want to look like a hobo? You also have people seeing your clothing all day. Your car you can park somewhere and ignore. It's kind of tangential but think of it this way; I offer you $20 and say you have a 50/50 shot at double or nothing. Most people would take it because gently caress it who cares, it's only $20. If I bump it to $200,000 and offer the same thing, 50/50 shot at double or nothing, and most people will take the money and walk because gently caress man I don't want to lose that much! Of course cars have their own brand of stupid advertising. Notice how they always harp on leases the hardest? Yeah you pay for a car for a few years then they take it back. It's long-term renting. Yeah but it's only $250 a month!!! Yeah but that's $9,000 over the course of three years and I can loving buy a car for that much. Maybe not a fancy one but one that will get me around. If I lease it I have no car at the end of it.
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Mar 10, 2015 18:50
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Not downright scummy, but never a fan of when you see "2 FOR 5$" in big, then something like "or 2.79 each" in small below.
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Mar 10, 2015 18:59
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bobtheconqueror posted:This is apparently a thing with clothing stores in particular. Younker's has the same issue, where pretty much everything is either on sale, or has a coupon that can be used on it. At one point, somebody in the company actually thought "Hey. Maybe we should just lower all our prices and stop spending money on ads for sales that aren't really sales." The result was an overall loss of revenue and customers complaining about there not being sales anymore. I remember some store near Times Square that had all these advertisements for cheapo knock-off italian leather bags that were all like "98% off" and still selling for $100 bucks, people must be falling for it. My favorite technique is the insurance companies that advertise stuff like "customers who switched saved an average of $300," because it's this great example of skewed sampling. Even if your insurance is more expensive for 90% of people, you can still make it sound like you're offering the better deal. Some marketing dude must have gotten a nice promotion for coming up with it.
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Mar 10, 2015 19:12
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