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axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme


Bear Grylls is a goddamn idiot and fakes everything.

Ray Mears did an episode of Bushcraft on Australia and cooked and ate some Witchetty grubs together with some people who know how to prepare them. They look kind of tasty grilled and cleaned.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJlO0aifJxA

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axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

Internet Kraken posted:

Personally I don't mind most bugs but I still probably wouldn't eat them just because I don't typically like food that has a really crunchy exterior. So an exoskeleton probably wouldn't sit well with me.


axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

Kroppkakor are delicious. Sorry about your poor school lunch version.

It's salt pork, onions and allspice wrapped in a potato dumpling. Good stuff!

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

You can fry kroppkakor too, that works. The potato dumpling is made with flour and eggs, so it's sort of like a very large gnocchi in texture. It's boiled in salted water and shouldn't turn mushy at all.

There's regional differences too, with bitter fights over the supreme version. Smålandskroppkakor are made with boiled potatoes, and Ölandskroppkakor are made with raw and boiled potatoes. Up north, they eat palt, which is usually made with barley flour and one variety that has pigs blood mixed in with the dumpling dough.

It's pork, potatoes and butter, what's not to like?

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

They couldn't confirm that it had never been done, but the part of the myth where literally every restaurant does this to save money and you've been eating pig rectums your whole life certainly isn't true.

edit: have a Twinkie Dog


Those have been around for more than 25 years :colbert:

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

freelop posted:

donner meat

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme


nope:



I can eat almost anything, but Juicy Pear jellybeans makes me gag.

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

Zopotantor posted:

Aren't those the booger-flavored ones?


The "Bean-Boozled" pack have identical booger and juicy pear beans. The difference is that the booger ones are slightly more edible. I don't know what it is, I even like other kinds of pear flavored candy. Just the Jelly Belly Juicy Pear actually makes me gag.

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

Captain Jesus posted:

There's a cheap eatery near where I work that posts examples of their menu on facebook every day. Let's just say the images don't really make me want to eat there.



I think I have deciphered this picture. They probably called it 'Chicken Cordon Blue'.

It's not actually raw chicken, it's cooked chicken covered by cheap pressed ham and cheese. The kind of ham that's made from scraps pressed together to a log in a giant tin. Restaurants use it for salads, sandwiches and pizza.

It's cooked in a steam tray, because that way canteens and cafeterias can cook lots of food fast and with little effort. Layer raw chicken, sliced 'ham' and shredded cheese. Steam until chicken is cooked through. That also explains why the cheese is melted, but nothing is browned.

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

My Lovely Horse posted:



This is what gets me about most of these pictures. The pool of fatwater "sauce." I just can't imagine it adds anything to the dish other than hydration.

Actually I can imagine pretty good what that entire dish tastes like. Wet chicken and freezerburn.


Steam tray cooking :geno:



Dump chicken legs in trays, put in cabinet. The liquid that collects in the bottom of the tray is the sauce. For effort, brown the chicken in an oven for a few minutes before steaming.

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme


See the sticker in the upper right corner? Sodexo.

That's the evil MegaGloboCorp of food services. Operates cafeterias in workplaces, schools, hospitals and military bases all over the world. Also most US college dining halls.

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

cowboythreespeech posted:

so I found this



I don't know what it is. Looks like... bread and bologna cake. With pickles and... pickled cabbage? And mayo probably. It makes me uncomfortable you guys

Look up 'smörgåstårta'. it's Swedish for 'sandwich cake'. served at work related events, old people birthdays and funerals.

Most common version has shrimp, smoked salmon and eggs. Mayonsaise, lots and lots of mayonaise. The frosting is plain cream cheese.

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

death .cab for qt posted:

Canned vegetables taste like poo poo, most frozen veggies taste like poo poo, the moral of the story is to buy produce from the produce section and never look back

Some vegetables have a short shelf life fresh, and freeze well, like broccoli. Peas go from starchy to overripe in a few days, so that's why you rarely see fresh green peas for sale. With those kinds of vegetables, chances are you will actually get a higher quality from the frozen section than from fresh produce.

Also canned beans are convenient and stuff.

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

Efexeye posted:

shrimp salad sandwich

:sweden:



The shrimp salad is mostly may and celery. Every place that serves hot dogs have it as an option.

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

Pyttipanna is great you ärketönt. :argh:

Needs mustard or hot sauce, an over easy egg and a pile of sliced pickled beets.

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

It's me, the defender of all Swedish food.

Except lutfisk, that stuff's terrible.

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

Plan Z posted:

Chow-chow in other places can have interesting visuals with some complex flavor. In Pennsylvania, it's just a bunch of bitter vegetables. Amish desserts are pretty great, though, I guess.

Hey! PA Dutch chow-chow can be delicious. I got some from a farmers market that was crunchy vegetables and soft beans in a sweet pickle. Could eat a whole jar of that stuff.

I traveled through PA with a friend who took me to PA Dutch diners, and I got to agree with you on the other stuff. Pretty bland, but hearty. Can see that it works for people who work hard on farms all day.

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

pah thai without peanuts, noodles, fish sauce, garlic or chilies :stare:

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

That shredded radish with mango this could make an interesting kimchi if you added salt and let it ferment.

or it could taste like a sweet and sour tire fire.

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

It's time for a classic

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKpBbGk202g

R.I.P @ 3.09

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

an overdue owl posted:

American butter tastes bad compared to proper British butter.

American butter is very pure fat and milk solids, and it has a very neutral flavor.European butter is made with lactobacterial cultures.

The traditional method was to let the cream sour slightly before churning, but now the lactobacteria culture is added separately. The culture is what gives butter its flavor, really. In the US, people pay premium for Irish and Danish butter.

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

You don't need to add sugar to bread dough to make it rise. It just takes a little longer without it since the yeast will have to process starch instead of just fermenting pure sugars.

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

There's a whole Vegemite thread over in GWS

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3687409

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

Internet Wizard posted:

So here's a tumblr that has a few pictures of food from a military chowhall, and the bleak food served there.

http://sgt-chowdown.tumblr.com/







spinach looks good :geno:

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

Antifreeze Head posted:

This is apparently a candy and not the abomination I thought it to be



Tasty maybe with vodka, but maybe not in vodka.

That's one hell of a gös (pike perch)! Maybe the tastiest freshwater fish you can get.

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

pizza with canned tuna is actually not weird, even in Italy.

google pizza tonno or pizza tonnato.

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

Midwestern pizza is sad. In Ohio and Pennsylvania, pizza has an inch thick crust and is covered in a tomato sauce that's sweet as ketchup.

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

Croatoan posted:

Did they move Pennsylvania?

the pizza is terrible anyway and the same blah sugary type as in Ohio.

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

Decrepus posted:

Can someone explain to me why cooked cheese tastes so good.

it's called the Mallard reaction and also explains why duck meat is tasty

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

biopanda posted:

How about some traditional Finnish "cuisine":



Memma is deliciuos! Looks like crap, but really tasty.

It's a traditional dessert made from rye flour, malt, molasses and bitter orange peel. Served with heavy cream or whipped cream. Not too sweet, and very flavorful.

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

Medieval Medic posted:

Yummmm, anyone up for natures strawberry dessert?



     This slime mold is delicious!
    /
@

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

Step up your cheese ball game



R.I.P Stebe

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

BARONS CYBER SKULL posted:

Cheddar isn't neon yellow, dude.

American cheddar is colored with annatto. the flavor varies from rubber eraser to actually quite good.

real cheddar, UK style, is kind of gritty, burns your mouth from sharpness and is delicious.

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

this is another typical Swedish hot dog, the "half special". boiled or grilled hot dog on a bun with two scoops of mashed potatoes. sometimes with a pile of relish or shrimp mayo.

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

guest appearance by the Platform Master

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

Haverchuck posted:

whats with those hot dogs with the fire engine red casings? do people buy those?

that's a standard Danish hot dog. served with neon yellow mustard

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

also bats

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme


nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnope

axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

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axolotl farmer
May 17, 2007

Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

Rah! posted:

And I'm pretty sure the worst jellybeans are not licorice.




actually the worst jelly bean is in that mix

it's Juicy Pear :barf:

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