Anti-Food Porn Thread: Seems Saggy Not Saggy A Bit Saggy Ball - The Something Awful Forums

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The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > Anti-Food Porn Thread: Seems Saggy Not Saggy A Bit Saggy Ball

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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Aesop Poprock posted:

Cracked has another article up where they make a bunch of horrific food from 50s-thru-70s cookbooks and try them. It starts off with an edible cranberry-mayo candle

http://www.cracked.com/article_21958_7-disgusting-foods-from-past-that-we-taste-tested.html

I'm tired and sick, so "edible cranberry-mayo" triggered the word "embryonic" in my brain and somehow it's a perfect description for how that thing looks.

# ¿ Mar 11, 2015 18:20

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# ¿ May 12, 2024 00:24

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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Catpain Slack posted:

I'm totally down with eggs but I can't fathom why you would put beetroot, of all things, on a burger. That being said, I think I'm gonna give it a chance next time I'm burgering it up.

I was in Chillago, Australia, stopped in at a hotel bar, and ordered a burger. It had beetroot and it was amazing. I wish it was a thing in Canada.

# ¿ Mar 12, 2015 03:59

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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Minarchist posted:

Let's see, it has grains, fruit, veggies, protein, dairy. The perfect nutritious meal! :downs:

:downs:

# ¿ Mar 18, 2015 05:03

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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This was a "dish" I had often as a kid, I don't know if anyone else ever made it or it was some bizarro recipe that was in my family.

It's macaroni, tomato juice, and a bit of butter to taste. Photo courtesy of my cousin who decided to revive it a few weeks ago.

# ¿ Mar 19, 2015 02:48

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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cobalt impurity posted:

Juice? I'd be on board if it was tomato soup, at least. Then ya just got spaghetti-Os.

Totally. It was watery bland tomato flavoured macaroni water.

RaspberryCommie posted:

You too? Practically grew up on this.

Think my tatebuds might be broken though because I sometimes still eat it. Because it's cheap as poo poo to make and doens't taste terrible.

I'd rather just go the Canadian route and eat some Kraft Dinner with ketchup. Same basic concept but tastier because it's not watered down and also has a flavour somewhat resembling cheese mixed in.

# ¿ Mar 19, 2015 10:19

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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freelop posted:

It's my birthday so I thought I'd revisit something I made a couple of times as a student:

Doner meat between 2 potato scallops. In this case a mix of "lamb" and "chicken" doner meat.

Didn't pay attention to the camera settings but that isn't really a problem for this thread.

e: That wasn't how you spelt "doner"

Do you pronounce it like boner?

# ¿ Mar 25, 2015 07:36

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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I have a love/hate relationship with onions. If they're not stupidly well-cooked, I cannot stand them. Raw onions in food is the absolute worst. But caramelize or saute them until they're near-burnt, and you could serve me a plate of just them. Onion rings are the greatest food on earth.

People look at me funny if I order a burger with no (raw) onions and then get onion rings, but they aren't even close to the same! Stop judging me, I know what I'm doing.

# ¿ Apr 12, 2015 04:57

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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ACES CURE PLANES posted:

douchebag.txt

"I'm going to make wild summations about a person's quality based on one aspect of their life I don't approve of"

Classic PCOS Bill!

# ¿ Apr 12, 2015 05:21

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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You can all get back to me once you prove you eat raw potatoes and find them delicious too. Deal?

# ¿ Apr 12, 2015 05:32

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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axolotl farmer posted:

See the sticker in the upper right corner? Sodexo.

That's the evil MegaGloboCorp of food services. Operates cafeterias in workplaces, schools, hospitals and military bases all over the world. Also most US college dining halls.

Oh, those assholes! They walked out of a contract at my university because they deemed it 'not profitable enough', and left all the food to rot after shutting off the freezers and fridges when they left with a few day's notice. Good riddance, their food sucked anyways and was horribly overpriced.

The new company that took over is much better, but I don't know what they're called. With Sodexo, I could get a tuna , egg salad, or ham sandwich on dry wonderbread for the same price as a "Tuscan grilled cheese" which is mozzarella, roasted red peppers, portobello mushrooms and pesto on marbled rye with these new guys. They even accept Tim Horton's gift cards for anything they sell, which is something every student here has as a gift from somebody in their lives :canada:

:canada:

Chard posted:

Still waiting for someone to unravel the mystery of crointing....

Urban Dictionary posted:

Croint

Any joint rolled by a certain Roy Ferari. This Roy rolls really crusty joints, and so the name 'Custy Roy Joint' came into play whenever he rolled a joint. A 'Croint' is a variation of that phrase, utilising the first letters of Custy and Roy and placing them before the word joint with the J removed. Croints have a certain resemblence and definite traits, and so thereforre when somebody other than Roy Ferrari rolls a custy looking joint, it is reffered to as a croint. It is an insult to the person's rolling ability.

Don't overthink it, it's just weed, dude.

SulfurMonoxideCute has a new favorite as of 23:18 on Apr 15, 2015

# ¿ Apr 15, 2015 23:12

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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dovetaile posted:

What what kind of horrible childhood did you have? poo poo, I used to eat peanut butter and M&M sandwiches (ask me about how I was diagnosed with Type II diabetes at age 15 genetic predisposition and PCOS) but even my snacks weren't that tragic.

If you think that's a poo poo childhood, he's got nothing on me. One of my favourite "snacks" was to put chewed gum in a mug of water, freeze it, then chip at the ice until I got to the gum and chewed it again. I also ate cat kibble on more than one occasion because there was nothing else I could reach and drank pepto bismol out of boredom.

# ¿ Apr 17, 2015 04:15

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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Aesop Poprock posted:

What was it like being rehabilitated as a feral child?

Who ever said I was rehabilitated?

# ¿ Apr 17, 2015 07:22

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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Plan Z posted:

Hey, those are open-faced spam cheesewiches. Those don't belong in this thread, they're great!

Plan Z posted:

Cue another loving goon in this thread saying "Hey, those jargobblrgars, one of Sweden's oldest treats! I don' understand why they're in this thread, they're great "

# ¿ Apr 17, 2015 21:39

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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Data Graham posted:

And while I'm at it, learn what a loving accent mark does

"Murci�lago" is not pronounced "mur-see-eh-LAH-go". The pronunciation guide is right there in the word

E: And I dare you to explain this bullshit

Obviously you pronounce the P violently. Avoid spitting please.

# ¿ Apr 19, 2015 05:03

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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My mom's friend used to put butter on peanut butter and jam, and peanut butter and honey sandwiches. She'd layer the butter on as thick as everything else. I threw up once after trying to eat one. To this day, I can't eat peanut butter and honey sandwiches. I can handle a lightly buttered bread that is then toasted, but just cold butter on bread is just not appealing at all.

# ¿ Apr 19, 2015 08:38

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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The Saddest Rhino posted:

You threw up eating a pb and honey sandwich

What kind of picnic royalty are you it's time to be deposed

My sincerest apologies that I don't have proper goon taste and couldn't eat a quarter stick of cold butter smeared on bread with some other stuff that tasted like crap when all mixed together.

BRB gonna go kill myself now.

# ¿ Apr 19, 2015 19:46

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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blunt for century posted:

gently caress

everything

forever

The worst part is the weeaboos in the comments stating "you just don't understand their culture!" Yeah, like you fuckin do, creepy-rear end white weirdo.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2015 05:48

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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PCOS Bill posted:

I am sincere in my love of cooked meat.

Oh sure, and then you poo poo on me for only liking cooked onions.

Hypocrite.

# ¿ Apr 23, 2015 05:14

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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Hope they dip their hands in the fryer, too.

# ¿ Apr 24, 2015 08:18

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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I knew a guy who would eat his wife's placenta after each birth because he felt it created a stronger bond with his kids and it was also just plain healthy!

# ¿ Apr 28, 2015 06:07

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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Trent posted:

It shocks me not at all that you may have tried.

He just didn't try hard enough.

# ¿ May 2, 2015 08:16

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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Pizzas are good for experimenting and it's okay to have fun once in a while.

# ¿ May 5, 2015 05:05

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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We're all a bunch of goony mcgoon gently caress rear end basketcases. Be proud of yourselves!

# ¿ May 5, 2015 08:28

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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Best thread title so far.

# ¿ May 5, 2015 22:56

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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I just wish corn was cheap in Canada. Paying premium for corn tortillas sucks, because flour tortillas are so bad in comparison. I've decided to just try and make my own now because there is nothing like a fresh corn tortilla!

# ¿ May 9, 2015 04:50

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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PubicMice posted:

Dude, it's not a side! It's a topping! It says 'sauce' right in the name!

# ¿ May 9, 2015 21:33

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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pookel posted:

To atone for my brief banana derail, I offer the following:

I'm loving dying over here.

# ¿ May 12, 2015 06:30

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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Wanamingo posted:

Am I late for the banana chat?

It's a banana split cake thingy. Tacky as gently caress 1970s poo poo, but it's tasty enough.

So is the white stuff potatoes or something? What exactly is wrong?

# ¿ May 12, 2015 11:50

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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Wanamingo posted:

It's not really wrong, just incredibly tacky.

Send all your tacky food this way, then. I'll take it.

# ¿ May 13, 2015 01:08

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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BARONS CYBER SKULL posted:

I'd try it.

# ¿ May 13, 2015 07:22

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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And the meat has to be ground and have that 'taco seasoning' spice blend that I've never tasted in any food in Mexico.

# ¿ May 17, 2015 04:14

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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big mean giraffe posted:

Yes, cumin, onion, garlic and peppers are never used in mexican cooking.

Where exactly in Mexico did you have Old El Paso taco seasoning on ground beef?

# ¿ May 17, 2015 05:44

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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PCOS Bill posted:

And yet enough California liberals moved in to ruin the whole state.

This is the shittiest bad food post.

PubicMice posted:

This is your post in food form, Bill.

# ¿ May 19, 2015 04:57

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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Would eat that cheese ball.

# ¿ May 22, 2015 00:12

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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axolotl farmer posted:

Step up your cheese ball game

R.I.P Stebe

That's cheese?

I always thought it was mashed potato.

# ¿ May 22, 2015 08:59

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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Senior Scarybagels posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZE8Fl4GwNo

This video is infuriating, not because she is wrong but because she is so stuck up on what she thinks is the purely correct way. Yeah cheese dip might not be cheese but if you like it and aren't acting like it's god's gift to nachos, I see no reason why one way is better than another.

Its anti-food porn cause it removes all the fun and love from food.

Senior Scarybagels posted:

Their matzoh ball one was pretty legit but then they have a Peanut Butter and Jelly video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3HehLKqxsY

The thing that irritates me the most is they keep cutting back to their smug loving faces with that aggressive head bobbing. The music sucks too.

# ¿ May 24, 2015 07:14

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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Meatwave posted:

Is this guy eating hotdogs on a bathroom floor?

Not even a animal would do that

# ¿ May 26, 2015 10:07

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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beato posted:

Hot Dogs:

Jesus gently caress I am so hungry right now

# ¿ May 27, 2015 07:03

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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spleen merchant posted:

These things make me nervous, like you're always going to have to risk the disappointment of one or more components tumbling to the filthy floor.

That can't stop you, you know the loving drill.

# ¿ May 27, 2015 08:40

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# ¿ May 12, 2024 00:24

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

pookel posted:

Best way to cook a hot dog:

And you really need to set it on fire at least once while cooking.

Pssst, burnt hot dog bro, just fyi I am a lady.
VVVVVVVV

This but with jalapeno cheddar smokies. Then on a hoagie bun, preferably an onion bun variety.

Solice Kirsk posted:

This man knows whats up. Serve those fuckers as black as night and just slightly too hot to eat! Chased with a semi-cold beer that's been floating in melted ice for hours. Preferably while sitting on a tree stump just a little too close to the fire. Summer rules.

I am so sad that there's a fire ban here right now. :smith:

:smith:

# ¿ May 28, 2015 01:24

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > Anti-Food Porn Thread: Seems Saggy Not Saggy A Bit Saggy Ball

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