Anti-Food Porn Thread: Seems Saggy Not Saggy A Bit Saggy Ball

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > Anti-Food Porn Thread: Seems Saggy Not Saggy A Bit Saggy Ball

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

Is....is that toothpaste??

# ¿ Mar 10, 2015 04:09

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 10, 2024 14:55

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

Low Desert Punk posted:

Dinty Moore Beef Stew looks and smells like actual dog food, but I'd be a liar if I said I haven't eaten my fair share of it.

I loved that poo poo as a kid. I still eat it once in a while, it's like a disgusting trip down memory lane.

# ¿ Mar 10, 2015 08:28

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

LA beast is an entertaining dude.

# ¿ Mar 16, 2015 03:38

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

Frozen veggies can taste pretty good if properly steamed.

# ¿ Apr 16, 2015 15:55

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

The Ferret King posted:

This speaks heavily to my bias in what I was fed growing up. But, in my experience, canned corn was superior to frozen. Canned green beans were ok, frozen had fresher texture but a squeakiness when chewing.

Canned Peas = Horrid

Canned Spinach = Horrid

Canned peas are grey-green mushy satan droppings.

# ¿ Apr 16, 2015 16:19

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

Internet Wizard posted:

chipoltay

No no, chipoltee

# ¿ Apr 19, 2015 02:21

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

Wasabi the J posted:

I don't prefer blue or super rare steaks, but I don't begrudge people for liking meat to their preference; I just get weirded out when people buy relatively expensive cuts and blast them to hell.

You should try some sous vide steaks if you want easy mode steak doneness. Hot water at temp, glowing hot pan, and a cheap propane torch form the hardware store, and you can get some really superbly finished meats, including medium-rare pork chops and chicken breast you can cut with the side of a fork, with minimal meat myth bullshittery.

SORRY FOR THE SOUS VIDE DERAIL I AM SORRY IN ADVANCE PLEASE DO NOT ATTACK ME FOR CHALLENGING YOUR GREAT GRANDPAPPY'S MEAT RECIPE

'Medium rare' isn't really a thing in pork, there is a minimum internal temperature you need to cook pork to. If comparing, it's much closer to medium to medium-well in color, with just the slightest pink tinge still inside. I feel really sorry for all you weirdos who need a machine and water to cook your food for you.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2015 16:51

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

Fo3 posted:

In Australia we get this cool salted spreadable butter from NZ http://www.mainland.com.au/cheese-products/buttersoft/
It loving rocks, way better than any aussie or euro spreadable butter.
I only use regular unsalted aussie or euro butter in block/stick form for cooking.

Why do you need special butter, why can't you just use a butter dish like a civilized country?

# ¿ Apr 24, 2015 17:22

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

diabeetz posted:

Do these people not realize that anything pizza flavored tastes like total rear end?

# ¿ Apr 27, 2015 00:43

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

death .cab for qt posted:

And it absorbed so much alcohol that it was basically inedible.

They start that way.

# ¿ Apr 29, 2015 05:32

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

Data Graham posted:

You take a can of tuna fish
You make some mac & cheese
You dump a can of peas on top
You mix it up
'Sgood

Tuna mac with peas is the poo poo, especially with some onion. Got a little of everything if you're broke and need to stretch your budget.

# ¿ May 4, 2015 02:46

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

pookel posted:

This is the current menu of my uncle's pizza restaurant, for anyone curious about American pizza menus: http://www.hideawaypizza.com/menu.php

He bought it in the '60s (maybe early '70s) and it was a hole-in-the-wall joint with excellent food for a long time. Bit more mainstream now, but still independent and not fast-foody. Sorry about the blaring colors (supposed to be an homage to the restaurant's hippie tie-dye days). Example for those too lazy to click:

These are the best pizza places, all the chains in america suck rear end.

# ¿ May 4, 2015 15:16

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

Rollersnake posted:

Despite not categorically hating it myself, I think all of America can agree that St. Louis has the worst style of American pizza. Super-thin crust

But actual thing crust properly cooked is how pizza is supposed to be and actually really loving good?

# ¿ May 6, 2015 22:08

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

I'm really interested in where 'down here' is that didn't have regular tortillas.

# ¿ May 8, 2015 17:23

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

Well yeah but just because nobody's mentioned Fazoli's yet. I ate there once for lunch because I was in a hurry and starving and it was the closest thing to me and my meal tasted like apartheid

It's generic pasta and sauce. It's absolutely low tier but far from some travesty. It's mostly the same as olive garden but less pretentious.

# ¿ May 13, 2015 04:53

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

Skinny King Pimp posted:

Yeah, false morels are not great to eat and you can even get sick from cooking them in some cases. What you want to eat are regular morels and they look pretty weird I guess.

But they're loving amazing. I miss being able to get them locally.

# ¿ May 14, 2015 22:11

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

Picnic Princess posted:

And the meat has to be ground and have that 'taco seasoning' spice blend that I've never tasted in any food in Mexico.

Yes, cumin, onion, garlic and peppers are never used in mexican cooking.

# ¿ May 17, 2015 04:37

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

Code Jockey posted:

That is because LA Beast rules

Seriously, he is impressive.

# ¿ May 19, 2015 01:11

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

Skinny King Pimp posted:

How have you people never heard of granitas or vodka watermelons?

Granitas are just frozen ice italian style, and vodka watermelon is for trailer trash.

# ¿ May 20, 2015 17:20

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

Just because idiots add alcohol to it doesn't mean it's a common alcoholic food.

# ¿ May 20, 2015 17:51

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

death .cab for qt posted:

I thought it was a joke until I saw the Sambuca Adventure video where he basically admits his alcoholism while walking through snow to a liquor store in order to get Sambuca

Seriously his place is nasty and I can't imagine living like that for years for a 'joke.'

# ¿ May 21, 2015 22:32

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

BARONS CYBER SKULL posted:

I don't think you get the thread.

# ¿ May 21, 2015 22:38

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

Railing Kill posted:

American Cheese is real cheese that just sucks at being cheese. It is bland and smooth and is a great alternative to other soft cheeses if there is literally no other cheese anywhere.

Kraft Cheese is sold in slices, but is not real cheese. It is basically solidified nacho cheese, but tastes about the same as American Cheese. Unlike American Cheese, though, it has the texture of eating plastic.

Kraft Singles are American "cheese" and no it's not real cheese it's cheese product. There's not actually enough cheese in it to legally call it cheese.

# ¿ May 23, 2015 17:38

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

fliptophead posted:

Why did they grill them?

Why.

Isn't that a toaster oven? Maybe they lost the little tray.

# ¿ May 24, 2015 18:33

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

Verisimilidude posted:

Can anyone explain why the logo for this uses a burger bun? A satanic burger bun at that.

I think this is the most important question anyone's asked in this thread.

# ¿ May 27, 2015 19:53

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

Dodecalypse posted:

no

Yellow mustard sucks but spicy brown/dijon is good on certain items.

# ¿ May 28, 2015 03:07

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

Tiggum posted:

They're normal hot dogs, so yes? What do you think hot dogs should look like?

Well they aren't naturally that red so not like that. Natural casing hot dogs can be 'regular' colored.

# ¿ May 28, 2015 18:40

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

BillyJoeBob posted:

Yo I heard people talking about hot dogs. I saw a bilboard for this driving home today.

The "Most American Thickburger"

Yeah I saw that yesterday. gently caress that looks gross.

# ¿ May 30, 2015 01:10

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

pienipple posted:

American cheese exists because it's great on sandwiches and is actual cheese, not pasteurized processed cheese food subsitute.

Why do you idiots keep saying this? No it is not. Kraft singles are american cheese. American cheese is a "cheese product." Stop trying to defend trash food. There are legal definitions from the government about what constitutes american cheese.

# ¿ May 30, 2015 18:12

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

C.P.A.N. posted:

Wrong

Double wrong, Dots are the poo poo.

# ¿ Jun 3, 2015 20:38

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

stuxracer posted:

We don't have Hardees, but Carls Jr is usually the same things and they have it. I want to be the most American I can be.

Also, if you go make sure you pick up one of these

God that hostess poo poo is bad enough by itself. That nasty waxy "chocolate" coating is disgusting.

# ¿ Jun 9, 2015 15:38

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

Didn't do it for this thread but I did try that jalape�o popper burger Carl's Jr makes. It was pretty underwhelming.

# ¿ Jun 11, 2015 03:13

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

drrockso20 posted:

I thought it was decent, but if I were to have it again I'd have them hold on the raw Jalapeno slices

Yeah I took most of mine off, it was just way too much jalape�o flavor going on, wasn't even that spicy.

# ¿ Jun 11, 2015 05:06

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

EZipperelli posted:

Would. Every which way but off.

That with some homemade tomato bisque would be so drat good.

# ¿ Jun 14, 2015 20:23

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 10, 2024 14:55

big mean giraffe: Dec 13, 2003; Eat Shit and Die; Lipstick Apathy

Oh god is that Xenomorph soup?

Tiberius Thyben posted:

Come to Canada. We have pot pies, shepherd's pie, and tourtiere.

Michigan (at least northern Michigan) has pasties which are loving amazing.

big mean giraffe has a new favorite as of 05:56 on Jun 22, 2015

# ¿ Jun 22, 2015 05:48

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > Anti-Food Porn Thread: Seems Saggy Not Saggy A Bit Saggy Ball